Jared rants about CoV (Don't hate me)

While I've got some more art to post in a moment (oh how my CoV addiction swallows ALL things), my SG and a few CoV friends told me I needed to share this on the CoV board. Told might be too relaxed a term. Bodily harm was mentioned and, later, maybe I'd wished I'd gone that route. Now that I've played the game more since I wrote this...there's certain things I would add and some things I would take back. But like I said, my SG is making me share this.
Btw like CoV, I think the rant is rated 16+. So it's not for little kids...I don't think. It's unlikely.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article74.htm

-jared

PS: Btw totally smite this if it looks like self-pimping of another site or something. I totally understand if that's the case....I just found hosting my own goofy things to be the best route to go. Also I don't know if comedic reviews of CoV count for this category. Then again, for what it's worth, after playing for one week I got inspired and churned this out. For better or for worse.

PPS: I'll make up for this with more paintings. I swear.

one abbreviation sums this piece of work up... LMAO! This is actually very well written Jared, nice to see such a large sense of humour taken to the game; this part about your views on CoH made me laugh:

[ QUOTE ]
Only the villains get the cool costumes. I'm sure it's different in the actual game, but just looking at the cover-art for CoH makes me want to rename the game "Captain Dorkface, his one ethnic friend, and his big white posse."

[/ QUOTE ]

I seriously think you should just try CoH, don't take the front cover for full face value, go for the trial (should be in your CoV box) and you may like it . I also liked this:

[ QUOTE ]
The game starts with an optional tutorial where your character is declared to be "the chosen one" and is broken out of super-prison. While it's not terribly interesting, it will teach you the basics of the game. And by basics, I really mean BASIC. For instance, you're first mission is to get some aspirin for one of the other escaped prisoners. This is pretty funny because you can SEE the aspirin from where he's standing.

[/ QUOTE ]

regarding your orignal post, I actually think this is in the right section, it's your created site and review; so it's ok in here . Well done, not a bad review from my eyes!

Cpt. A

P.S- Welcome to CoV

[ QUOTE ]
"Captain Dorkface, his one ethnic friend, and his big white posse."

[/ QUOTE ]

My favorite part

[ QUOTE ]
He's like an unstoppable fountain of puke.

[/ QUOTE ]

I remember the first days of pocket D when his volume was turned up rather high and you could hear him from most of PD.

Was a good article, and I look forward to seeing the new paintings. You'll have to do Callista, she is a non standard looking hero

[ QUOTE ]
Only the villains get the cool costumes. I'm sure it's different in the actual game, but just looking at the cover-art for CoH makes me want to rename the game "Captain Dorkface, his one ethnic friend, and his big white posse."

[/ QUOTE ]

And this is worse than Lord Eight-Arms-of-Over-Compensation how?

:relief:
Honestly, I had no idea what the reaction to this would be. Apparently my SG was right. In response to random things in a completely disorganized way:

1. You've got a point about Lord OMG-LOOK-AT-MY-8-STIFF-RODS-OF DOOM. As for my thoughts, I've already posted all that I can say on the topic here:
http://uk.boards.cityofvillains.com/show...ge=3#Post799713

2. I'm sure CoH is very cool. It has to be, despite a few quirky things that I've noticed. You know like how it seems you have to go talk to a cowboy ( http://paragonwiki.com/index.php?tit...ld_Analyst.jpg ) to change your reputation. Seriously though I may end up trying out Heroes one day. I didn't actually get a "box" with my CoV, as my 6-month subscription was a gift from one of my readers on the condition that I review it. So while I didn't get an instruction book (causing no end of drama when I couldn't figure out how to descend using a jetpack thereby causing all flights to conclude with a deadly plummet to the earth) I did get the whole "the first one's free, kid" treatment. Yes, I still think of CoV as a drug.

3. Pocket D filled with the vibrating report of a man stuck on eteral chunk churling? I'm sure the roleplayers loved that.
4. Paint your character? Drop me a line. My friends know I'm a guest art/comic/request [censored] that can't help himself. Even better I'm one of those that has a lot of free time...or who did until I got introduced to CoV.
-jared
(global Billy Horrorshow if anyone is curious)

Don't worry, the instruction book isn't that comprehensive
And the rep people aren't all cowboys - some are even more disturbing

I enjoyed reading it, I'll be sending the link to a few friends that don't play the game lol.

By the way, did you ever try PvP, or did you just stick to doing normal missions?

"Did" makes it sound like I've stopped playing. : P
I haven't tried PvP yet...Whenever I stop by bloody bay (the only PVP area I've qualified for as of yet) it's pretty empty villain-wise. And running around solo in a PVP area strikes me as doom for a lonesome Dominator somehow.
I am afraid of PVP admittedly, mostly because everything I've read about it tells me that there are people waiting for me in there that will kill me with one hit while spamming the broadcast channel with tales of rectal doom and my mother.
If there's a time when lots of people are in PVP mode (or a particular PVP zone where everyone hangs out) by all means let me know where it is. I'd love to do it but most of what I play doesn't solo very well if that makes enough sense.
-jared

Siren's Call is where the best PvP is at
And team PvP is better than solo PvP, so even if you don't have such a good solo PvP build, you can still contribute to a team.