Excellent work!
Has this submitted to Arctic_Sun for inclusion in the monthly comic?
"Goodbye, Jean-Luc. I'm gonna miss you... you had such potential. But then again, all good things must come to an end..." -- Q
I guess since a lot of people don't read the forums, but might read the comic, that's a good idea. I'll do that!
I have an idea! No wait...it's just gas.
Hellscorp
Don't forget screenshots... it would be great to use some for dramatic effect, I suggest one of Minotaurus fighting Trolls, and another of Xenozap Kid in the SG base.
"Goodbye, Jean-Luc. I'm gonna miss you... you had such potential. But then again, all good things must come to an end..." -- Q
Heya T-man... thanks again for wrting that story, I really appreciate it! As you may have noticed on the SP forums, it was well-received there, as well. Excellent job all the way around. 
The Alt Alphabet ~ OPC: Other People's Characters ~ Terrific Screenshots of Cool ~ Superhero Fiction
Why thank you, sir!
I have an idea! No wait...it's just gas.
Hellscorp
Background: Ironik chose my forum avatar for me (and isn't it cute?), so in thanks I wrote this short story about the character of his choice. I hope you all enjoy it:
The four Trolls sat around the poker table and put down all their cards. Josack laughed loudly and declared himself the winner, and started raking in the chips. The chips, in this case, were represented by plastic parcels of the drug known as Superadine, He didnt actually have the highest hand, but then again, math wasnt really his strong suit. He was, however, the strongest one present, and that gave him a certain latitude with the game.
The laughter died as suddenly as it began as the east wall caved in, flying chunks of debris piercing the card table. Minotaurus burst through and continued on charging, bowling over the gamblers like tenpins. The Trolls in the next room stupidly clustered in the doorway to see what was causing the ruckus in the other room, and Minotaurus ran straight towards them. Following closely on his heals came several of his teammates from Sentinels Prime. Xenozap Kid hurled a bolt of energy at the assembled villains, knocking them all back, setting them up for Victory Streak to race in and put them out of commission. Minotaurus picked a Troll up and threw him full-force into yet another wall.
Whoa, whoa, Harry! Victory Streak dropped a semi-conscious Troll and reached out to his friend. Take it easy! He stepped in front of Minotaurus and tried to get his friend to concentrate, but he could tell that Harry Tavros was seeing nothing but blind, red fury. Victory Streak shouted out to his allies, I need a little help here, please!
Mythyk stepped in through the wall and saw immediately what was happening. On it, she replied, and took Victory Streaks place in front of Minotaurus. Calm, she whispered, cradling his head with her hands, each hand almost touching one of the horns on his head. Minotaurus breathed heavily for several more seconds, but the rage slowly dissipated from his face. He gently pulled Mythyks hands away from his face and walked out one of the holes he had created in the building.
Xenozap Kid was egging on some of the Trolls as they were carried away by the local police force, and also took the opportunity to make fun of Harry. Heya, big guy, whats the big deal? he asked, slugging Minotaurus on the shoulder. Theyre only Trolls, after all.
Minotaurus turned his head ever so slightly in Xenozap Kids direction, and the Kids smile died a fast death. Gee, man He took an involuntary step back, but Minotaurus simply turned and walked off.
Xenozap Kid watched him walk away. Man, what is his damage?
Victory Streak walked up to the Kid and put a hand on his shoulder. Its a little personal for him to get Superadine off the streets. It involves his little brother.
Oh yeah? Xenozap Kid asked.
Yeah. I forget, that was before your time. Come on back to the base, well play the case file for it. You need to be aware of this. Youll understand Harry better.
Xenozap Kid sighed. Okay. Nothing but reruns on TV anyway. Lead on.
Back at the base for Sentinels Prime, Victory Streak led Xenozap Kid into the library.
I dont get it, the Kid complained. How will reading a book help me?
Youre not going to read a book, Victory Streak explained. He walked over to a closet and pulled out a strange-looking half-globe, and then took it over to the audio/visual terminal and plugged it into a spherical indentation. The viewscreen, which took up most of the rest of the wall, came to life, and started playing what looked like a movie.
Whoa! Xenozap Kid breathed. Far out!
Victory streak smiled. A little gift from Druidan. Dont ask me how it works, but he had each of us sit in a special chair, and it pulled out relevant stories that we use as mission files, for newer recruits like yourself to review.
Xenozap Kid nodded absent-mindedly as events on the viewscreen unfolded. Victory Streak slipped out of the library unnoticed as the scene flashed a date in the upper left-hand corner: April 17, 2004. It was daytime, but raining, and a small crowd was assembled at a gravesite. Standing taller than everyone else present, his horns unmistakably protruding from his head, Minotaurus held an over-sized umbrella over the proceedings, keeping things relatively dry.
The ground may have been dry under the tent-sized umbrella, but every one of the faces of those assembled was wet with tears, as a priest invoked the blessing of God over the departed Tim Tavros. Xenozap Kid realized it was a funeral for Minotaurus younger brother. A video montage flashed back even further in time, unveiling a young, lively Tim, gazing up in admiration at a picture of his brother, who looked dashing in his Army uniform. The Kid could actually feel the admiration coming off of Tim in waves, and he felt swept up, as images and emotions piled on top of him like a tidal wave.
Images of Tim conducting a citizens arrest co-mingled with a picture of Harry Tavros stalking silently through the desert of an unknown country. A picture told a thousand words as Tim picked himself up off the pavement of Kings Row, a gang of punks laughing at him in the darkness, while at the same time, his older brother held the lifeless corpse of a fellow soldier. Xenozap Kid felt all of it, and wept with despair.
The displays of Harry tapered off, becoming a mindless jumble of unending dry cold and windstorms, interspersed with blurry firefights. More images flashed of him fighting Rikti for the first time, his Special Abilities Unit helping to protect South Korea from the alien invaders. The scenes coalesced around young Tim as he joined a group of other young toughs for mutual protection. It was as if Druidans device sensed that this was where the viewers attention should go. Tims group was beaten again and again, resulting in worry and confrontation with his mother, and ending with Tim storming out of his mothers house.
Blurry frames passed faster and faster, resolving into:
- Tim again, this time in a dark alleyway of Kings Row, nervous but trying to appear unconcerned, handing over a roll of cash to a Troll that was half-submerged in the shadows.
- Tim rolling up his sleeve, preparing to take an injection of what could only be Superadine.
- Tim dashing out into the street, accosting a group of Skulls, taking them all down single-handed, smiling and flexing his muscles.
- Tim coming down off the drug-induced high, staggering to his mothers home, using one arm to prop himself up against a brick wall.
- Tim dropping out of high school, his grades inexplicably falling from straight As to an F in English and Math.
- More arguments with his mother over the next few weeks, as Tim develops a slightly greenish hue.
The scenes slowed down again, to an appreciative Xenozap Kid, who was holding his head now in an attempt to stave off a headache. The viewscreen flashed scenes of Tim Tavros, alternating as he developed greater strength, and then fell evermore ill when the effects of the drugs wore off. Slower and slower, the living movie showed an ultimate end to Tim, falling down on his way home, next to that same brick wall. His skin was a solid green.
The viewscreen cut to Harry reading the telegram announcing his brothers death the very next day, cut to a quickly-arranged flight home that took several hours, cut to Harry clutching family members desperately in an attempt to savor all the love each had for the other, tears flowing unbidden in rage and pain and loss. Cut to the funeral.
Dates flashed by on a calendar, showing Harry in an unceasing funk, brooding about his house, ignoring orders to report back to the front. Commotion outside the house on the fifth day breaks into his somber reverie, and he steps outside to investigate. Rikti again, everywhere. With a savage yell of pain not yet shared, Harry rips into this convenient enemy, fighting to save his neighborhood and friends. After joining forces with Sentinel Prime to help in the struggle, Harry is asked to join the team. Harry agrees and adopts the name Minotaurus.
The images on the screen grew murkier again, with the face of Minotaurus, grimly resolved, promising to rid the streets of Superadine. The screen faded to black. Xenozap Kid shook his head, staring at the blank screen for additional minutes, tears falling unnoticed from his own face. He got up, took the magical hemisphere and deposited it back into the closet. He walked out of the library, a little more sober.
I have an idea! No wait...it's just gas.
Hellscorp