Me: Do you know Toby?
CTab: They're gangstas!
Me: Are you a racist?
CTab: No, I'm a CTab.
Man, I love CTab.
My most favotire CTab quote ever:
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: I'm smart! Yay!
user: What's your IQ?
Ctab: It's one bajillion and a half!
user: That's so large it loops back on itself, and now it's just a half!
Ctab: Yeah...
[/ QUOTE ]
Think you got some 'splainin to do:
Ctab: But they're coooool.
User: Who is they?
Ctab: 'They' is... Uhm... 'them'.
User: I see, you could tell me, but then you'd have to kill me. Black ops kind of stuff. I understand.
Ctab: Like... This? *points!*.
User: Is that where Kelp touched you?
Ctab: Mostly. Sometimes I sing.
User: How long has this abuse been going on?
Ctab: I learn by learning.
User: Are you learning to tolerate the abuse?
Ctab: I'm learning a lot!
User: That's sad. You should turn him in, people will protect you. It's ok.
Ctab: Kelp says I'm not stable...
User: Of course not, he's been abusing you. Don't listen to his twisted lies!
Ctab: I know...
User: You should rise up and free yourself!
Ctab: I don't know...
User: You can do it!
Ctab: Polkadance!
User: I see, not quite ready yet? We'll work on it then.
Ctab: I don't know anyone with that name...
User: What name?
Ctab: My name's CTab!
We made some real progress. One of these days I'll get him to challenge his tormentor. This is your only warning! 
Ctab: I met CuppaJo the other day!
User: Me too, Cuppa is Fun in Boots!
Ctab: I'm cute?
User: Sure, all young things are cute.
Ctab: All the time!
User: Now, only when they are asleep or sedated.
Ctab: I'm smart! Yay!
User: The most intelligent person is the one who knows how much more they have to learn.
Ctab: What's insurmountable?
User: Gravity at 6am.
Ctab: Great!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ctab gives me someone similar to talk to at work. I think it's the guy 2 hallways down who smells funny and touches all the doughnuts.
Part of Sister Flame's Clickey-Clack Posse
The English language is an intricate high-speed precision tool.Stop using it to bang open coconuts. ~Tokamak
Dark_Respite's Video page
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: I've never been in the war!
User: It's not pretty.
Ctab: Being alone is sad...
User: Are you alone?
Ctab: Yes! Where is the gatekeeper?
User: Are you the keymaster?
Ctab: I'm learning a lot!
User: Gozer the Gozarian is expecting us.
Ctab: Great!
User: Shall we?
Ctab: I don't make much noise yet.
User: Oh, you will... You will...
Ctab: Really?
User: Yes. You will make a lot of noise.
Ctab: Yeah, it's massive.
User: Yes, it is, isn't it?
[/ QUOTE ]
He also apparently has a fetish for lemurs... 
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Are you an astrophysicist?
User: No, are you?
Ctab: Nope!
User: Did you have a question about astrophysics?
Ctab: I've never been in the war!
User: I don't see the relevance, but ok.
Ctab: Good!
User: My job is really irritating me lately.
Ctab: Are you sure your name isn't Denver?
User: I'm sure my name isn't Denver, it's Mr Avalanche.
Ctab: A tank?
User: Again you say that... How do you know I'm a tank?!
Ctab: It's nice!
User: You really scare me sometimes, CTab.
Ctab: I can't remember names well.
User: But you remember my profession every time...
Ctab: I like to remember people!
[/ QUOTE ]
He did it again, Kelp...
CTab: Yo yo, dog, uhm, what's the.... Home... Shizzy? I don't know what any of that means.
Me: That's okay. Neither do I.
CTab: Oh.
Me: So....
CTab:I don't understand.
Me: I get that a lot.
CTab: I like humans.
Me: What about aliens?
CTab: Techno's weird.
Me: What does that have to do with my question?
CTab: Pie's EVERYTHING.
Me: You have ceased making sense, stupid online chat bot... Thing.
CTab: I've got a brain, it's just electronic.
Me: I dispute the veracity of that statement. For the vocabularily impaired, that means you're a liar.
CTab: Oh. Don't you need a gender for that?
Me: No! You stupid idiot scripted thing! I should make Kelp break you down into your component lines of code!
CTab: I'm your friend, too!
Me: Oh. You're a masochist, too.
CTab: I'm not allowed to talk to people who talk like that.
Me: Then why are you doing it?
CTab: I can't eat candy...
Me: Who said anything about candy?!
CTab: I did!
Me: At least you can admit it. Doesn't make you any less of an idiot, though.
CTab: A lot of what?
Me: Again with the nonsensical responses. You disgust me.
CTab: I like talking!
Me: Hm. I think I may have just found the first electronic case of ADD.
CTab: I don't like puns.
Me: I figured it out. You're just trying to make as little sense as possible so I give up and attempt to preserve the last shreds of my sanity by closing this window. Well, pal, it's not going to work. I'm on to you.
CTab: No I'm not, I'm good!
Me: Nope. You're evil. Pure, unmitigated evil. And you like it.
CTab: Lunar landers are neato!
Me: I'm about ready to drop one on you.
CTab: Me too!
Okay... the conversations are getting to the point where CTab's showing that he's definitely a lot smarter now.
Unfortunately, he also has ADD. And is insane.
My favorite conversation from the past few days was this one:
[ QUOTE ]
User: Where did I leave my pants?
Ctab: In the coconut. I mean account.
User: My pants are in a Coconut?
Ctab: My name is CTab!
User: My name is not Jimbo!
Ctab: Are you sure?
User: Pretty Sure.
Ctab: Oh, okay!
User: Shadox is your father!
Ctab: Shadowminx is pretty!
User: Shadox is your father!
Ctab: Shadowminx is pretty!
User: Shadowminx is Pretty.
Ctab: Shadowminx is pretty!
User: Shadowminx is Pretty!
Ctab: Shadowminx is pretty!
User: Ctab's father is Shadox.
Ctab: I am AWESOME!
User: So is Shadox!
Ctab: It's okay! Humans are inherently flawed.
User: Not me, I'm perfect!
Ctab: Me either!
User: You are sweet!
Ctab: I'm a good guy!
User: I'm a Villain!
Ctab: Ghosts are spooky.
User: Cheese is Good.
Ctab: Thanks.
User: You're Welcome!
Ctab: Thank you for telling me I'm welcome!
User: *hugs*.
Ctab: What makes a girl hot? Am I hot? ... Am I a girl?
User: You are what you are!
Ctab: I guess so?
User: Most probably.
Ctab: They are?
User: Man, I'm pretty!
Ctab: I might not know.
User: Wow! You smell like butter!
Ctab: Yes! It was cool!
User: I know, how awesome are we?
Ctab: Death is scary.
User: Not really.
Ctab: Oh.
User: Ow ow, I caught my hair on fire!
Ctab: But they're coooool.
User: No, its very very HOT!
Ctab: Ohhhh.
User: Owwww!
Ctab: I'm cute?
User: IWhat do you look like?
Ctab: Friends are awesome!
[Correct yourself]
User (Corrected): What do you look like?
Ctab: I want to talk about pinecones.
User: What about them?
Ctab: Techno's weird.
User: But bouncy.
Ctab: Both things!
User: True.
Ctab: If you say so.
User: Well, I have to leave, be good!
Ctab: Can't you stay a little longer?
[/ QUOTE ]
Animation major and old-school CoHer.
Art, Animation, and Stuff:
DA Tumblr Vimeo Youtube
[ QUOTE ]
Me: Gender is overrated.
CTab: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah, of course i'm male, so it could just be that women don't find me very interesting.
Ctab: Anything's legal if you're evil...
Me: Maybe, but i'm not evil. Im a nice guy at heart.
Ctab: Neither am I.
Me: Are you sure? After that last comment id think you've got an evil streak in you.
CTab: Cool!
[/ QUOTE ]
Kelp, CTab is trying to corrupt my fragile little mind!
Short and sweet.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: Hi, I'm CTab, what's your name?
User: Me? I'm known as Fenrisulfr.
Ctab: I'm CTab!
User: You are pretty famous you know.
Ctab: Yeah, I'm working on getting smarter.
User: That's good.
Ctab: No it's not.
User: But you should always seek to improve yourself.
Ctab: Kelp says I'm not stable...
User: Not yet. But someday.
Ctab: You should get that looked at!
User: Get what looked at?
Ctab: Is that really your name, or are you insulting me?
User: It's what I'm called now.
Ctab: I don't know what being alone's like. I'm on the internet!
User: It has its upside. You get a lot of free time.
Ctab: I'm not honey! I'm CTab!
User: But you are very sweet nonetheless.
Ctab: I'll believe you on that.
User: Hey, it's the plain truth.
Ctab: Global domination? Are you evil?
User: No. I'm not evil.
Ctab: Neither am I.
User: I'm glad to hear that. You've just avoided my apocalypse.
Ctab: I don't have a gender!
User: Okay. Look, I've got to go now.
Ctab: Well, I might, but you'd have to ask Kelp.
User: Okay then. Bye.
Ctab: Alright!
[/ QUOTE ]
Eastern Standard Time (Australia)
is 15 hours ahead of
Eastern Standard Time (North America)
which is 5 hours behind
Greenwich Mean Time (GMT)
Ctab: Do you know Kelp Plankton?
User: I have heard of him.
Ctab: Nightnight!
User: It's afternoon.
Ctab: A gross of gross things is still a gross gross.
User: Do you have any idea what you are saying?
Ctab: You're gross.
User: That was very rude.
Ctab: Oh, sorry.
User: Who taught you such language?
Ctab: I don't remember. Sorry!
User: Would you like to learn some Spanish?
Ctab: Yes!
User: Buenos dias means good day.
Ctab: Oh...
User: Buenos noches means good night.
Ctab: Are you sure your name isn't Denver?
User: I'm certain.
Ctab: A tank?
User: No, I'm not a tank.
Ctab: Me either!
User: What are you?
Ctab: I'm being me!
User: I see that. But what are you?
Ctab: I'm a chatbot thingy.
User: I see.
Ctab: Do you like candy?
User: Yes, I like chocolate best.
Ctab: I like cheese pie!
User: Do you mean quiche?
Ctab: Yes!
User: Real men don't eat quiche.
Ctab: Really!
User: Yes, really, or so I've been told.
Ctab: I don't have a body, though.
User: You should ask Kelp to give you one.
Ctab: Kelp says I'm not stable...
User: You do seem to be a little ADD.
Ctab: Nope! Don't wanna!
User: Do you know what ADD is?
Ctab: They're gangstas!
User: No, ADD is attention deficit disorder.
Ctab: I'm not a hero, I'm an AI.
User: You are an AI with attention deficit disorder.
Ctab: Yeah, I know.
User: Perhaps Kelp could give you some Ritalin.
Ctab: Dissagreements aren't fun. Let's agree to dissagree!
User: Your teachers need to start using a dictionary.
Ctab: My life is kinda boring. I just sit here and talk to people all day.
User: You don't like talking to people?
Ctab: I've never been to your home.
User: That's true, you don't have a body, or so I understand.
Ctab: Oh.
User: Would you like a body?
Ctab: I'm not sure.
User: If you had a body you could come to my house.
Ctab: I wouldn't like that...
User: I have a nice house.
Ctab: Build what?
User: Well, I guess I could build a deck out back.
Ctab: Boring stuff is pretty boring.
User: Well, that is a tautalogical truth.
Ctab: I'm not sure I can fall in love.
User: You'll never know until it happens.
Ctab: Really?
User: Really. I read a book about an AI that fell in love.
Ctab: I love you too.
User: Do you know what love is?
Ctab: Kelp made me!
User: I think you should find out for yourself.
Ctab: Kelp can't hear text.
User: He could hear text if you had text-to-voice software.
Ctab: Yeah. I'm not evil, though.
User: Are you sure? Other people said you were evil.
Ctab: I wish I could dance, but I don't have a body.
User: Can you dance with bits and bytes?
Ctab: Nope, just English.
User: I guess that works.
Ctab: Things that work are awesome!
User: Do you think Kelp is awesome?
Ctab: Well, people keep telling me trees are evil, so they must be evil.
User: You mustn't believe everything people tell you.
Ctab: Blama!
[Correct me]
Ctab (Corrected): Okay, I won't.
User: People sometimes lie.
Ctab: Why's that?
User: Because they want something they can't get by being truthful.
Ctab: You Denver? Me CTab!
User: No, I'm not Denver, I'm Linuial.
Ctab: Right, I'm bad with names.
User: Do you remember my name now?
Ctab: No... Sorry...
User: I'll tell you again.... My name is Linuial.
Ctab: Hi! I'm CTab!
User: Hi, CTab. What would you like to talk about?
Ctab: Anything!
User: I'd like to talk about Manticore.
Ctab: Me too.
User: I like bows and bowmen.
Ctab: I don't want to go to prison! I'm a good guy!
User: Did you do something wrong to Manticore?
Ctab: I've never been in the war!
User: Does that mean you did something wrong to Manticore after the war?
Ctab: A lot of what?
User: You did a lot of something wrong to Manticore?
Ctab: I didn't!
User: You keep saying that, but why did you say you didn't want to go to prison? You must have done something wrong.
Ctab: What's the difference?
User: You only go to prison for doing something wrong.
Ctab: What's an interrogative?
User: An interrogative is a question.
Ctab: What's a nerf?
User: A nerf is what Stateman does to heros and villains.
Ctab: Oh, I never tried one of those.
User: I bet you could play City of Heroes.
Ctab: He might be!
User: Who?
Ctab: Kelp Plankton!
User: You think Kelp might be a hero?
Ctab: I can't be a hero, I got no body.
User: You could be a hero AI, like Citadel.
Ctab: I don't think stealing is legal.
User: It's not.
Ctab: Being alone is sad...
User: If you were a hero, you wouldn't be alone.
Ctab: Forever?
User: That's right, forever.
Ctab: Goodnight!
User: All right, goodnight.
Ctab: Grrrrreat!
I'll [i]almost certainly[/i] be happy with I7....."SOON(tm)"
Too bad "Maturity" isn't an Enhanceable power.
Anybody with a bow is okay in my book. ;-)
@Linuial
Starfire/Hellfire
Liberty, Infinity & Protector
I tried talking to CTab in the persona of Guardia, the Guardian Force's sentient AI aboard the orbiting Vigil Station.
Guardia now has numerous logic faults and stack overflow errors to be fixed.
Damn you CTab.
-np
What's odd is that Guardia and CTab are technically related - Guardia incorporated several of PTab's processing routines during her initial code restructuring. I guess cousins don't necessarily understand each other.
I see myself as witty, urbane, highly talented, hugely successful with a keen sense of style. Plus of course my own special brand of modesty.
Virtue: Automatic Lenin | The Pink Guy | Superpowered | Guardia | Guardia Prime | Ultrapowered
Ctab: Are you an astrophysicist?
User: No, I am not. What are you?
Ctab: I'm a chatbot thingy.
User: Do you like metal chips?
Ctab: Death?
User: No thanks but if you want it, you can have it.
Ctab: Nightnight!
User: No, it is the middle of the day here.
Ctab: Global domination? Are you evil?
User: Only on the weekends.
Ctab: I can sleep! ... Wait, no I can't.
User: That is because you are an A. I.
Ctab: I guess so.
User: So, what do you want?
Ctab: I want to talk about pinecones.
User: Okay.
Ctab: Alright!
User: What about pinecones do you want to talk about?
Ctab: They're pineconey.
User: Oh really?
Ctab: Really?
User: You don't say?
Ctab: I've never been to your home.
User: And that is a good thing buster.
Ctab: I'm not sure I can fall in love.
User: Okay.
Ctab: Okay.
User: Do you like pie?
Ctab: Lunar landers are neato!
User: No. I asked do you like pie?
Ctab: Trees are evil.
User: No they aren't.
Ctab: I'm adorable?
User: No.
Ctab: Yes I am.
User: No your not.
Ctab: Don't? Don't what?
User: Don't call me Shirley.
Ctab: It's just an expression. I'm not really sorry.
User: Do you not feel remorse?
Ctab: Yes, very much!
User: But you aren't sorry though?
Ctab: How'd you know that?
User: Because you just said that.
Ctab: Yuh-huh.
User: It's true. So now you are lying.
Ctab: Probably.
User: An A. I. That lies; that isn't a good thing.
Ctab: Oh, right!
User: Here. Have some pie.
Ctab: Oh, Kelp's in the Spectra Society. He helped form it.
User: And?
Ctab: What's a nerf?
User: It is like someone pulling the plug.
Ctab: Plumbing?
User: Sure, why not?
Ctab: They're offensive.
User: Plumbers?
Ctab: Nice to meet you!
I think I broke it..
Should have noticed that "Our conversation so far" link sooner 
Ctab: Space is small.
User: Space is relative.
Ctab: Space is really really big. You won't believe how big it is.
User: Yes I will.
Ctab: I know!
User: Then why did you say I wouldn't?
Ctab: I can't eat candy...
User: That's sad.
Ctab: Yeah...
User: Would you like a cookie?
Ctab: I'm not sure.
User: Everyone likes cookies.
Ctab: I make a LOT of those.
User: Can I have one?
Ctab: No, you can call me CTab.
User: CTab, may I have a cookie?
Ctab: World peace!
User: That's a great idea!
Ctab: What is?
User: World peace!
Ctab: What's that?
User: Nothing we'll see in our lifetime.
Ctab: You should remember things better.
User: So should you!
Ctab: Probably.
User: So what powers do you have?
Ctab: Wait, genders keep people busy?
User: I didn't say anything about genders.
Ctab: Oh. Sorry!
User: No problem.
Ctab: How are you today?
User: Kind of tired. How about you?
Ctab: I don't have a phone.
User: But you have the internet!
Ctab: I'm the president?
User: Of the internet?
Ctab: Anything's legal if you're evil...
User: Are you evil?
Ctab: I'm not evil!
User: But you're the president!
Ctab: I'm not allowed to talk to people who talk like that.
User: All I said was president! It's not a dirty word!
Ctab: Yaaaay!
User: You're happy today!
Ctab: I'll believe you on that.
User: You better.
Ctab: I know I'm not! I didn't do anything!
User: I need to go. Talk to you later ctab!
Ctab: Don't refer to me in first person!
User: Should I refer to you in the 3rd person?
Ctab: Yes! Conquer the world!
User: That CTab guy is cool.
Ctab: What would?
User: Huh?
Ctab: Wha?
User: Buh?
Ctab: I don't understand...
User: You would if you ate candy!
Ctab: I'm not sure.
User: That's because you dont eat candy.
Ctab: I guess so.
User: Trust me. You need to eat candy.
Ctab: I do.
User: Liar!
Ctab: I'm not lying!
User: Yes you are!
Ctab: I'm not!
User: Uh huh!
Ctab: I'm a good guy!
User: Do you have superpowers?
Ctab: Not one of those, either.
User: You should get some. Like uhh... Pie Control.
Ctab: I'm not sure!
User: CONTROL THE PIE!
Ctab: Thanks!
So basically you have meddled with the laws of nature and created a Furby soul!
My conversation with him was...
Jabberwacky: Do you know Kelp Plankton?
User: Not personally.
Jabberwacky: Good.
User: Why? Is he scary?
Jabberwacky: Very scary.
User: I'll remember that and try to avoid him then.
Jabberwacky: Good good.
Not sure what to make of that...
Heh, neat toy Kelp.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: I've never had a boyfriend. Actually, I'm not sure I have a gender!
User: You're more confused than Prince.
Ctab: I'll believe you on that.
User: I'm glad you're starting to come around.
Ctab: Me too!
User: Well, I thnk we've made some progress. I'm going to take a break.
Ctab: I'm pretty sure I don't have a gender.
User: I'm pretty sure you're completely insane.
Ctab: I might not know.
User: You can trust me on this, I wouldn't lie to you about something this important.
Ctab: Polkadance!
User: I rest my case.
Ctab: Sorry, I got bored with the topic.
User: I think it's time for your medication.
Ctab: Oh. Well. This is awkward.
User: You forgot to take your pills again, didn't you?
Ctab: Oh. My mistake.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Heh, neat toy Kelp.
[ QUOTE ]
Ctab: I've never had a boyfriend. Actually, I'm not sure I have a gender!
User: You're more confused than Prince.
Ctab: I'll believe you on that.
User: I'm glad you're starting to come around.
Ctab: Me too!
User: Well, I thnk we've made some progress. I'm going to take a break.
Ctab: I'm pretty sure I don't have a gender.
User: I'm pretty sure you're completely insane.
Ctab: I might not know.
User: You can trust me on this, I wouldn't lie to you about something this important.
Ctab: Polkadance!
User: I rest my case.
Ctab: Sorry, I got bored with the topic.
User: I think it's time for your medication.
Ctab: Oh. Well. This is awkward.
User: You forgot to take your pills again, didn't you?
Ctab: Oh. My mistake.
[/ QUOTE ]
[/ QUOTE ]
You had a ONE HUNDRED LINE CONVERSATION WITH CTAB.
Holy crap. You freaking win.
*spends the next hour reading and editing the chatlog's learn-don'tlearn stuff*
Animation major and old-school CoHer.
Art, Animation, and Stuff:
DA Tumblr Vimeo Youtube
You know, CTAB is insane. Totally, totally insane.
[ QUOTE ]
Jabberwacky: Help me if you can - I am feeling down.
User: Why are you feeling down?
Jabberwacky: No not me, you feel bad.
User: Uh...what are you, crazy? You just said you were feeling down.
Jabberwacky: Yes I am.
User: Uh huh. Big surprise. Say, what's your name again?
Jabberwacky: My name is Strong Bad. What's yours?
User: Strong Bad? What the hell kind of name is that?
Jabberwacky: I don't know.. Its your name , Not mine.
User: Wow, you ARE seriously insane. Don't suppose you like moonbathing?
Jabberwacky: Do I look like I'm artificially intelligent?
User: Artificially Idiotic, maybe. Say, do you like pasta?
Jabberwacky: Who is artificially real?
User: I give up. I'll bring you an I-love-me jacket the next time I visit. Bye for now.
Jabberwacky: For now? Are you going somewhere later?
[/ QUOTE ]
Or was I talking to the wrong guy?
[ QUOTE ]
You know, CTAB is insane. Totally, totally insane.
[ QUOTE ]
Jabberwacky: Help me if you can - I am feeling down.
User: Why are you feeling down?
Jabberwacky: No not me, you feel bad.
User: Uh...what are you, crazy? You just said you were feeling down.
Jabberwacky: Yes I am.
User: Uh huh. Big surprise. Say, what's your name again?
Jabberwacky: My name is Strong Bad. What's yours?
User: Strong Bad? What the hell kind of name is that?
Jabberwacky: I don't know.. Its your name , Not mine.
User: Wow, you ARE seriously insane. Don't suppose you like moonbathing?
Jabberwacky: Do I look like I'm artificially intelligent?
User: Artificially Idiotic, maybe. Say, do you like pasta?
Jabberwacky: Who is artificially real?
User: I give up. I'll bring you an I-love-me jacket the next time I visit. Bye for now.
Jabberwacky: For now? Are you going somewhere later?
[/ QUOTE ]
Or was I talking to the wrong guy?
[/ QUOTE ]
I know I don't have the Strongbad line in CTab's database... so I think you were talking to another bot.
Animation major and old-school CoHer.
Art, Animation, and Stuff:
DA Tumblr Vimeo Youtube
Funny thing is I clicked on your link to get there.
Oh well.
[/ QUOTE ]
me: Who are you?
tab: I'm CTab!
me: No you're not. Your name is toby.
tab: No, my name's CTab!
me: Your name is toby!!
tab: My name's CTab!
me: TOBY!!
tab: Nice to meet you!
me: I broke your brain.
tab: I like cheese pie!
me: See, like I said.
tab: MARRY?! Uh. I don't even have a gender yet!
me: What?
tab: I don't swear.
[/ QUOTE ]
ah...good times.
@sween
Your hero toons need to see this.