Ok so over all, this mission was a great mission and I would play on other of my guys. Saying this there are things I would you to change to make this set of missions a lot better.
To start off I will talk about the grammar/spelling. Now there is some minor grammar and spelling issues in this set of missions. The first thing I noticed that would fall under this would be in the second paragraph in the first mission description. You have the alot in it when it should be a lot. The next thing I noticed was in the second to last sentence in the description of Sundalo ng Asero. In it there is the word report when it should be reports by changing it you will make that sentence not a fragment sentence. Finally I found in Guro Kulog description that you put Dahon offered him a way out by providing assistance with his financial crisis, then promised greater wealth in return for his loyalty and support. Now crisis, then should be crisis, Dahon also to make that sound a lot better. Other than this I did not find any thing else, note I forgot to check the bosses so you might want to just copy and paste those on word and see if you find something.
Next I will be talking about the story it self. It was a good story but I found a few things that I did not like. One was that in the start you had a lot of text and I read it all and the story sounded good, but further I went in the mission more it seemed that the story was lacking. I persanly think that there should be more you right in it. Anther issue I had was the Arachnos. You did not explain why the hell they were even there. I think you should add this into your story make it make since because I didnt know who I was the real enemy at the end and left me with questions. This did not make the missions worse it just made me a bit lost. One other thing with the story was in the first mission. The last paragraph just sounded weird to me when I read it. I would change it to something like this,
[ QUOTE ]
I have been watching your career, [name]. You have demonstrated many of the same qualities that successful Pagkagising candidates have had. While you're here, why don't you take the Pagkagising test and see how you do.
[/ QUOTE ]
Anther thing that I would change is in the second part of the first missions text. I would get rid of, Thank you for humoring me. This just kind of kills the mood. It sounds like this guy doesnt care about me and would rather see me fail then succeed if you got rid of this it would make it a lot better. The final thing I need to say is put some color in the text. Just seems bland and boring and if you put color in the story it will make it look more appealing and more will want to play it other than looking at it and thinking it is just a bore fest.
Finally I am going to go over the missions them self. The real issue I had with a lot of them was that you needed to kill an entire mob to be done with the mission when it seems that you should just be able to kill the boss and be done with it. This has always bugged me about normal missions but they put in & guards. You might want to do this or change it around. Anther thing I want to say is that I really thought that the second mission was just a mess. The only mobs there was, was for the patrols, bosses, and the rescue mobs. This just kind of sucked because I ran into very few guys in the entire mission and this just made me think what the hell is going on and I received very little xp in the entire mission. Anther thing of the final mission was the rescue. She never exited; I dont know if it is something you did or if it is just a bug but it just was weird and it just didnt seems right at all.
In all this was a great mission and even with all the bad I said it was a still good. Just touch it up a bit and I think it will be great.
