londerwost

At Comic Con I spoke the name that cannot be spoken at the question and answer panel. They implied that you might be coming back.

Welcome back!

As far as i16, soooo much stuff. Anachro's going to roll a claws brute and I'm going to spend days changing the colors of powers on all my alts.

I'm too lazy to post a full review but I pretty much agree with anachro on all her points.

Rated: 4 stars

This arc has the makings of 5 star rating but needs to have more focus, tighter plot, and awkward writing should be fixed. I really, really liked the flame vision for a contact. It's unique and was well executed.

I thought it was funny when the first person we run into thinks we set the fires. Both our characters are standing there engulfed in fire.

Fun, quick arc. Good job!

lol liberty's bust

Played on a level 22 spines/dark scrapper teamed with a level 21 shield/fire tank on middle diff.

Rating 4 stars

Game Play

Playability was a little uneven but not sure what can be done since it's level 1-54. Have you tested for lowbie/highbie? Basically, CoT were pretty rough but that was expected with middle diff and... yeah it's CoT. But custom mobs were WAY easy. Boss at the end of second mish was Leut that felt super squishy. Boss at the end of last mission was almost an after thought. The custom mobs in the last mission were pretty much joke. I actually felt bad because it felt like I really was beating up on scientists, the little pansies. You may want to test a wider range for playability or maybe limit the arc to the levels you tested.

The ally in the end is way over powered for minions btw.

I give you big kudos for making the kill all maps small and keeping this arc quick. I did not feel that it dragged at any point.

Story

I thought the story was good and the detail was plentiful but there were a few gaps and some forced plot. And some really convenient intel.

I'll start with the end. The surprise! It's forced. You need to put some foreshadowing for this to be effective. Otherwise it gives the impression of being from no where and having no basis in the story. Give some clue or some hint, a body, a scene, note, something that hints at this.

The the conveniently placed blank disk in the beginning was focused on like it WAS foreshadowing but turned out to be nothing. This along with the convenient intel you get from you contact before you go in. I honestly think this gives to much and doesn't leave anything left for the player but to go fetch. I would suggest making it less apparent, just "check out the warehouse and see what you find" then when the player gets in, "o I found something!" Makes it more fun for the player and makes them feel more involved with your story, like they contributed rather than just being a lap dog.

The demon thing was a little sudden as well. I would give a hint, like that empty disk. Maybe, that disk is really a magical item that a demon left behind and you just over wrote some magical incantation that would have been helpful in solving the case but is now lost.

I also think involving the contact in the last mission is overdone. Especially with the gotcha. I don't think she brings anything to the table and it seems out of place (she's a scientist!).

I thought the writing was good and the author spent a lot of time filling in details. I really liked the fact that I could click on a mob and read what they are and, although there are only a couple, the clues were very helpful.

On a side note, the guy. Yeah him. Suoiflkdjlkfjsl;jadf whatever. I know it's a trick name but it's annoying because this name, Suoikdja;fl whatever, was never meant to be pronounced as it is currently spelled and therefore is a little frustrating. I mean seriously, try saying it out loud: Suoitigalf
It doesn't work and doesn't help your story. I would pick something that's more pronounceable.

tl:dr

• Playability for different levels needs to be tested and level range re-evaluated.
• Leave more for the player, don't give all in description, make the player feel involved.
• Use more foreshadowing for surprises and gotcha moments to be effective.
• Writing was good, lots of helpful details. Fun and interesting story.
  

We don't have a whole lot of time which is why we'd like to stay under 1 hour so we'll probably skip this one for now.

We will certainly take a look at this one once we've updated the queue.

We'll give it a shot and see how it goes. In most cases we can handle bosses as long as they aren't the dreaded super-over-powered-custom-what-were-you-thinking bosses.

Played on a level 21 broadsword/fire scrapper with a level 21 shield/fire tank on easiest diff. Playability was a little slow but mobs were decent in difficulty, even custom mobs. There is room for me to up my own diff if I so desired.

Please note: this is NOT a short arc. It took us about an hour and a half to complete even with zerging one of the missions. Our requirements for this thread are less than an hour. We really want to focus on arcs that one can easily jump into and complete quickly but we'll let this one slide.

Rating: 4 stars

I was on the fence on whether to give this arc 3 or 4 stars because of a few issues I noticed in the arc but decided to give it 4 because the writing is good and clean. The story is fun and enjoyable. I like good gangster plots.

The plot seems a little vague because it is split between the two factions instead of focusing in on one. It gives the story a feeling of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. I would suggest tightening up the story either focus on the family or the skulls which will make your story more streamlined.

I was a little frustrated that there are two defeat all maps back to back along with other maps that have so many objectives they might as well be defeat all. This would explain for the time on the arc taking more than an hour. I was also frustrated by the two clues that seemed to pop up after defeating the boss at the top of a 4 story map. Both clues were back on the first floor. I kept asking myself if this was really needed for the story.

I think this arc has great potential for being a nice TF style arc but it needs a stronger focus and maybe some considerations about how long this arc really needs to be. Personally I'm having a hard time seeing myself recommend this for someone to spend an hour and a half of their time just for clearing mobs (which is why it's hard to justify the 4 stars). The writing is good enough to recommend but this arc drags on it's long play time. I would recommended cutting the time down on this arc.

tl:dr

This arc needs to focus more on one faction or the other in the story to make it stronger.

Playability needs to be looked over on whether it's worth it to ask your audience to spend this much of their time on just clearing maps, doing objectives that may not support the story.

Writing is very well done and clean. Story is good and gangster theme is fun.

That was so Jesus of you. XD

Praise implies some kind of behavioral adjustment. It is delusional to think the rating system has any effect on encouraging one to improve one's arc.

Kindness =/= supporting bad behavior
Critisim =/= I'm allowed to be rude.

This. I agree everyone should have dev choice. Then maybe people wouldn't be so bitter and nasty about a game.

Ran on level 10 ice/pain corrup and level 10 robot/trap MM on easiest diff.

CAPT DYNAMIC IS SO OUT OF CHARACTER, HE WOULD NEVER BE THIS SMART OR SPEND THIS MUCH TIME ON STUFF! YOU BROKE CANON!

Just kidding but I did think it was funny how much he talked about complex things.

Rating: 4 stars.

Playability was challenging for a two person lowbie team on low diff. Especially the custom mobs and last mission (ramp up). We didn't die but it did make me wonder what it would be like on a higher diff and/or solo.

I think this arc was quick, fun, and charming. I don't think it's for everyone. I could easily see certain people having a hissy fit about the more unique aspects of this arc, and the general slap-stick dialog.

I would have given this arc five stars just on the humor factor but I kinda felt that the "original" stories were a little over done and maybe too detailed. I felt they detracted from the 'gotcha' in the arc. I'm wondering if maybe that can be simplified or condensed into one story line that flows with the other one instead of having snakes and rikti armor. Although the rim-shot boa in the last mission was pretty funny.

There is an immense amount of detail and comedy placed in this arc. I actually had a lot of fun clicking on the boxes and emails, and found myself interrupting on purpose just to see what it would say. The 'somethings more important than looking in this empty box" was especially brilliant.

I found one major problem with your story in that at level 10, Lost spawn instead of rikti. YOU RUINED MY IMMERSION!! YOU'VE SINNED!! REPENT!! Seriously though, you might want to look into making custom rikti or maybe setting the min level to just above rikti level.

I truly loved this arc and want to see it polished up.

tl:dr

Very funny, very quick, lowbie friendly but soloing may or may not be a problem with last mission and custom mobs.

Needs work on rikti mobs to make them spawn.

I would suggest, from personal taste, simplifying the 'original' stories into one less complicated plot, to put more focus on 'gotcha' moment.

Probably not for everyone, especially not for the more serious story arc players.

Good job, I really liked it!

EDIT: Author made changes to this arc that earns it a 5 star rating. It is no longer low level but it makes more sense and is still a very quick play on easiest diff. I highly recommend this for team/solo play 30+ level. Very enjoyable and funny!

I'm not arguing with people who haven't read this thread.

You.

Are.

Wrong.