_Max_

Looking back at June, I may be wrong, but it seems that Pious' Acting Avatars, and my own Rocky Horror Hero Show were the only two new creative things posted in June, with everything else being a continuation of existing threads.

If it is in fact a two-horse race, I'd be willing to accept a joint-award, as both pieces of work are wildly different to each other, and trying to compare one against the other has got to be a rather trying task, seeing how there's bother-all similarity between the two.

[ QUOTE ]
Bluedarky's Paragon Press!

[/ QUOTE ]

That's also something that was created in July

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Edit: Just reading the rules for this comeptition, I'm not entirely sure if this is eligible or not......I bloody well hope it is!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I started it in June, and it was posted in the Creative section, so I bloody well hope so too.

Thanks for the nomination.

[ QUOTE ]
You should definitely get this months creative award for this!

[/ QUOTE ]

Can we at least have the nomination process, so I can pretend I have a chance of winning?

[ QUOTE ]
but I'd like to think I've improved from the first few days.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I haven't heard any reports of you nearly blowing up the city again with broken tech-armour recently.

As for my view, I think it's mostly been covered in bits and bobs by other people, but speaking now from experience, I think a good line for a freeform roleplayer, is someone who can try to adapt, but also knows when it's just time to walk away, and not drag out a bad situation.

Speaking from personal experience, back when the RP communit yexplodified for the umpteenth time, I decided to take a leave of absence. Almost a year on from that, and everyone's pretty much happy and content. I still RP, it's just less in the public eye now.

If I had stayed, I have no doubt I would have just continued in a never-ending argument with some players, as I strongly disliked their roleplay styles, and that bickering would have just been a slur on the roleplaying itself.

I had a point in there somewhere, so...remember kids, just say "no", like Zammo.

Thanks for all the support guys and girls, it was a hard toil at times, and I probably would have given up at one point if it hadn't been for the fans.

Now, all that's left is to hope that nobody posts anything fantastically creative for the rest of June.

Right, that's all over and finished. I hope most people reading it enjoyed it, and weren't too fussed I had to add a few syllables here and there to make things fit in.

I may attempt something else like this in future, so if anyone can think of a well-known christmas film with songs in, let me know by PM, and I'll consider it over the next few months.

(Motions to Bushbaby and Xanthus, who adjust the stage for him. Recluse sings, to tune of “I'm Going Home” Others join in for chorus section.)

On the day I started play
-Goodbye noob
Was all I had to say
-To Longbow troops
If I start again I'll say
-Team in, groups
And we can blast them all away-ay-ay

Cos I've seen, oh, men fall
Through the grip of my rule
And I realise
I'm going home
I'm going home

Everywhere it's been the same
-Feeling
Like I'm causing all the pain
-Leading
Black suit guys that look the same
-Stealing
Cards that give time for the ga-a-ame

Cos I've seen, oh, men fall
Through the grip of my rule
And I realise
I'm going home
I'm going home

Zortel: How sentimental.

FFM: And also presumptuous of you. You see, when I said 'we' were returning to Issue 115, I referred only to Zortel and myself.

(Recluse looks horrified. Others also look concerned.)

FFM: You are to remain here. In spirit, anwyay.

Recluse: But the ghost thing...that's in WoW

FFM:...how unlucky for you.

(FFM readies the modified Assault Rifle.)

Alec: Great heavens, it's got a laser attached!

FFM: Yes Alec. In Issue 67, the Assault Rifle got the fez-wearing dinosaur laser-beam power, and ironically, then became the most overpowered power in the game.

FG: You mean you're going to 'arrest' him? What's his crime?

Alec: You saw what happened to Aardy. The community must be protected.

FFM: Exactly, Alec. Now Lord Recluse, your time has come. Say goodbye to all...this, and hello, to a SINGLE PLAYER GAME OF THE ELDER SCROLLS IV: OBLIVION!

(Recluse gasps and staggers backwards.)

Bushbaby: No! (She runs in front, and is hit by the laser. Her body begins to fade away as the 30-second timer appears above her head.)

(Recluse grasps at the stage curtains, and tries to climb them, like Spiderman, but not, for legal reasons. FFM shoots him, and he falls to the floor, with the stage equipment falling on top of him.)

Xanthus: Ruuuugh!

(Xanthus picks up Recluse, and begins climbing up the statue of Atlas, being shot at repeatedly, with emotional music played in background as he does so. Eventually, the statue collapses, and he falls to his doom, and the 30-second timer starts on them both.)

Alec: Good lord.

FFM: Yes.

Stasis: You killed them!

Zortel: I thought you liked them. They side-kicked you.

FFM: They never side-kicked me!

Alec: You did right.

FFM: A decision had to be made.

Alec: You're OK by me.

FFM: I'm sorry about your server host.

Alec: Yes, well. I'm sure someone else will pay for one.

FFM: You must leave now Alec, while it's still possible. We are about to beam this entire building back to Issue 115, as the developers redecorated it after the Rikti War, and we prefer it how it looks now.

(FG, Stasis and Alec run for the exit.)

FFM: Our noble mission is almost complete, my duo-partner. Soon, we will return to the giant robot and dinosaur infested streets of our 'futuristic' Issue.

Zortel: Ah, sweet issue 115. To team, and blast again, to take that unwanted jump to the left...

FFM: And the rubber-banding that really drives you insane.

Zortel: And our Issue will do the Lag Warp again!

(Switch to an outside view, where FG, Stasis and Alec have just left City Hall. There is a loud explosion, and City Hall launches into the sky, and out of view.)

(Song, 'Super Heroes'.)

FG:
I slot a lot,
God knows I've tried,
I've slotted Health and even Hide,
But all I know is when I fight,
-I'm bleeding

Stasis:
And super heroes,
Come to fight,
They come by speed,
They come by flight,
If they think they,
Can win, they must be,
-Dreaming

-Ahh, ahh,
-ahh, ahh,
-ahh, ahh,
-ahhhhhh

(Camera shot begins to spin, and blurs, before refocusing on a spinning coffee cup Bridger has knocked over.)

Bridger: (Spoken Verse.)

And crawling,
on the planet's face,
some insects,
called the human race,
lost in time,
and lost in space.

(He gets up and heads for the door.)

And good builds.

(He turns the lights out, and walks out the door. Screen fades to black for credits.)

Rikti spaceship,
in Atlas Park,
Lo-ord Recluse,
was off the mark,
FG and Stasis,
are likely to sue,
the servants gone to,
a future issue.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohhh,
at the late night, nothing on TV, hero show,
it's the credits you'd better go,
oh-oh-oh-ohhhhh,
from the late night, nothing on TV, hero show.

Another apology for the delay here, the weekend was a bit busy for me, and I've got work today, so it's likely that the final pieces will be completed and put up tomorrow, hopefully.

(Switch to NCSoft office, with Bridger having stayed behind late. Rockjaw can be seen in the background grabbing his coat and leaving.)

Bridger: And so, by some extraordinary coincidence, fate it seems had decided that FG and Stasis should keep their appointment with their friend Alec. But it was to be in a situation which none of them could possibly have foreseen.

And just hours after planning builds for each other, FG and Stasis had both slotted for Forbidden Fruit, an IO set that isn't in game yet. This in itself was proof that their host was a man of little morals...and some persuasion.

What further slottings were they to be subjected to? And what of the Costume Competition that had been spoken of? What indeed? Had Recluse finally snapped and gone mad? From what had gone before, it was clear that this was to be no picnic.

(Switch to a stage mimicking Atlas Park, with curtain covering the background. Opening chords of 'The Floor Show' start playing.)

(Recluse hastily prepares everything, then goes to the side of the stage, and pulls a lever, to reveal, in order from left to right, Bushbaby, Xanthus, FG and Stasis, all dressed in Carnival of Shadows costumes. Recluse pulls another lever, Bushbaby is de-statued. Bushbaby begins to sing, to tune of 'Rose Tint My World'.)

It was a blast when it all began,
I was a regular teaming fan,
then Lord Recluse had a plan,
to build a PvP super-man.

The only reason he doesn't let me go,
is because I still slot SO's,
he controls my world,
keeps it a PvP game.

(Lever pulled, Xanthus is de-statued. Sings next verse.)

I'm only seven hours old,
already got some blasts and a hold,
and somebody should be told,
my accuracy can't be controlled.

Now the only thing I've come to trust,
is my Energy Blast and Power Thrust,
Recluse rules my world,
keeps it a PvP game.

(Lever pulled, FG is de-statued. Sings next verse.)

It's beyond me,
I can't slot properly,
I'll do good you see,
take this build away-ay-ay-ay,
what's this, let's see,
I forgot accuracy,
don't know what came over me,
have to start again.

(Lever pulled, Stasis is de-statued. Sings next verse.)

I feel released,
gank quota decreased,
my damage has been increased,
put others in a world of pain.

I've got new percentage,
without having to slot baggage,
life is just one stage,
in Recluse's PvP game.

(Fanfare starts to play, combined with Atlas Park theme tune. Curtains open to each side, revealing the statue of Atlas, with Recluse leaning against his leg.)

(Spoken verse by Recluse.)

Whatever happened to Hero 1,
stepped through that portal, with a Union Jack cape,
as I asked myself why,
I began to cry,
as I realised I wanted to fight just the sa-a-ame.

(He kicks a lever on stage, to reveal a sparring area.)

Get boosted up,
on Domination,
don't let them get ideas,
above their station,
give them nightmares,
beyond any measure,
slot Stamina,
so you'll go on forever.

Can't you just see it,
can't you just see-e-e-e it, oh.

(All enter the sparring area, and begin fighting in slow motion.)

All: Don't fear it, PvP it,
don't fear it, PvP it.

(All continue singing. Lever flips down, Alec is de-statued, and watches the ongoing fight in horror.)

Alec:
Heroes what!? We've got to get out of this trap,
before this all night-session saps our wills,
I've got to be strong,
and try to hang on,
or else my mind may well...SNAP!

(Lifts up trouser-leg to reveal Carnie stockings.)

And my life will be lived,
for the ki-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ll.

FG:
It's beyond me,
I can't slot properly

Stasis:
God bless sniper powers.

(Music kicks in for 'Wild and Untamed Thing'. Recluse sings.)

My my my – my,
my my my – my,
I'm an unparalleled fighting king,
I slotted for Manticore's sting,
got a hit and my level goes ding,
you didn't get chance to do a thing,
but still the fighting goes on,
not gonna stop 'till the Heroes are gone,
Recluse rules this world,
and I'll keep it a PvP game.

(Others dance in synch with each other, and with music.)

I'm an unparalleled fighting king,
got enough infamy to buy three tech wings,
take down a Titan with a shot and sling,
you can't do anything but let me win,
but still the fighting goes on,
not gonna stop 'till the Heroes are gone,
Recluse rules this world,
and I'll keep it a PvP game.

(Doors to hall where stage is located burst open, to reveal Zortel in a long dress with a neckline, and FFM in full pirate-costume, with a modified Assault Rifle. He sings.)

Oh Lord Recluse,
you sad excuse,
for a Villains player,
your mission is a failure,
you've made everyone unhappy,
'cos your life's too PvP,
we return to Issue one-fifteen,
now feel my laser beam.

Recluse: Wait! I can explain!

I suppose Max could do his part for the Home Front

"Are you a Rikti?"
"No"
"Good"

"Are you a Rikti?"
"No"
"Good"

"Are you a Rikti?"
"Yes"
"Good"
*smack*

"Are you a Rikti?"
"No"
"Good"

[ QUOTE ]
I'd have to go with _Max_'s Rocky Horror Hero Show

Superb !

[/ QUOTE ]

Next month's nominations, I only started it in June I'm afraid.

Not an update, I'm afraid. Due to having had a rather packed day due to work, and an evening of Hot Fuzz to look forward to, no new entry today. Tomorrow shall be the entirety of the Floor Show songs though.

(Recluse chases after Stasis, and sings, to the tune of 'Planet Schmanet Janet'.)

I'll tell you once,
won't tell you twice,
Stasis get ready,
for a fight.

You can use fire/,
or use ice/,
but you'd better get ready,
for a fight.

I've given you builds,
enjoy the thri-ills,
dominator,
or corruptor,
or a stalker who can't be se-en.

(They emerge in the laboratory, Stasis runs towards the Spectator Mode panel.)

I suggest you slot,
using my advice,
Stasis get ready,
for a fight.

(FG and Alec arrive from the lift, and stand next to Stasis.)

My control panel,
will stop you no trouble.

Stasis: My feet, I can't move my feet!

Alec: My Nova! I can't use my six-slotted for damage Nova!

FG: It's as if we've been held on the spot!

Recluse: You are! So quake with fear you fools!

Stasis: We're trapped!

(Backing music still plays under conversation.)

Recluse: It's something you'll
get used to,
a mind-control fight,
can be quiet nice.

Alec: You won't find Issue 9 people quite the easy mark you imagine. This control panel, it is, I suppose, some kind of bandwidth-vibratory, physiomolecular lag device?

FG: You mean?

Alec: Yes FG. It's something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time. But it seems our friend here has found a way of perfecting it. A device which is capable of lagging out solid matter, and then rubber-banding it through space, and, who knows, perhaps even time itself!

Stasis: You mean he's going to send us to another planet?

(Recluse)
Planet.
Schmanet.
Alec.

Alec: Yes?

(Recluse)
I guess it's time now,
to come clean,
we're all from Issue,
one hundred and fifteen,
where we built a,
time machine.

Bridger: And then she cried out;

Stasis: Stooooooooop!

(FFM and Zortel enter the laboratory, and head over to the control panel. Tune of 'Hot Dog' comes in.)

(FG)
You're a fighter,
but you'd better not try to hurt her,
you dirty spider.

(Zortel pulls a lever, FG turns to stone.)

(Alec)
You're a sad excuse,
for a player,
Lord Recluse.

(Zortel pulls the lever again. Alec is turned to stone.)

(Stasis)
You're a wan..

(Zortel pulls the lever, Stasis turns to stone. Bushbaby arrives in the laboratory.)

Bushbaby: I can't take any more of this! First you spurn me for Aardy, then you cast him off like an old Issue 5 build for Xanthus. You chew people up and then you spit them out. You're like a Malta Sapper, you take-take-take! You drain others of their endurance and powers. Well, I've had enough. You've got to choose between me and Xanthus, so named because...well...I don't know why actually!

(Recluse nods. Zortel pulls the lever, and Bushbaby is turned to stone.)

Recluse: It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache.

(He walks back over to the control panel, next to FFM and Zortel.)

Recluse: My players turn on me. Xanthus is behaving just like Aardy did. Maybe I made a mistake splitting my infamy between the two of them?

(He looks up and sees Xanthus posing. He nods, and Xanthus turns to stone.)

Zortel: When will we return to Issue 115? I grow weary of this backwards server.

Recluse: Zortel, I am indeed grateful to both you and your team-mate FFM, you have both served me well. Loyalty such as yours must be rewarded, and you will discover, when the mood takes me, I can be quite generous.

Zortel: (Resentful tone of voice.) I ask for nothing, Lord Recluse.

Recluse: Then you shall receive it, in abundance! Come, we are ready for the Costume Competition!

(Recluse goes down the lift. FFM and Zortel look at each other and smile evilly.)

(Switch to dining-room scene. Alec, FG, Stasis, Recluse, Xanthus and Bushbaby are sat at the table. FFM and Zortel bring out a serving trolley, and add slabs of meat to everyone's plates, and sloppily add wine to the glasses, before heading back to the front of the table, where Recluse stands up to make a toast.)

Recluse: To non-subscribing friends.

All: To non-subscribing friends.

Alec: We came here to discuss Aardy.

Bushbaby: Aardy!

(Recluse scowls at her, and she settles back down.)

Recluse: That's a rather tender subject. Though I think, he got the point. Or rather, I did.

Bushbaby: Excuse me.

(She leaves the room and is heard screaming down the corridor.)

Alec: I knew he was in with a bad crowd. But this is worse than I imagined...time-travellers!

FG & Stasis: Alec!

Recluse: Go on DOCTOR Alec, or should I say, Doctor Who? *chuckles*

(Alec begins to sing, to the tune of 'Eddie's Teddy.')

From the day he was rolled,
he hated all trolls,
he tried to be blaster,
but he always died,
so to avoid the pain,
he rolled an Ice Tank,
what a shame,
he chose Prestige Power Slide.

And from that day on,
everything just went completely wrong,
though he found a build that he liked,
that hit things with a 'thunk',
(Bridger)his PC always crashed with a clunk,
but he said the problem was server-siiiiide.

When Aardy kicked you,
off his private CS server,
you knew it was a bad thing you did,
when he threatened your player,
with being set on fire,
(Recluse)what a guy,
(Stasis)makes you cry,
(Alec)and Hidden did.

(Switch to Bushbaby in her room, with a large poster of Aardy.)

Everybody owned him,
but I really, really loved him,
I said “I'm on your team don't shoot me”,
so he changed sv_gravity,
he had it binded to an,
easy reachable key.

(Switch back to Alec unfolding a scrap of paper.)

Alec: Making him warn me,
in a note,
which reads...

All: What's it say, what's it say, what's it say?

Aardy: If you read this then I'm dead,
these Ice Tanks are a pain in the neck,
stop Recluse's evil deeds.

(Back to Alec.)

When Aardy kicked you,
off his private CS server,
you knew it was a bad thing you did,
when he threatened your player,
with being set on fire,
(Recluse)what a guy,
(Stasis)makes you cry,
(Alec)and Hidden did.

When Aardy kicked you,
off his private CS server,
you knew it was a bad thing you did,
when he threatened your player,
with being set on fire,

(Slow down tempo.)

(Recluse)what a guy,
-Woah, woah, woah
(Stasis)makes you cry,
-Hey, hey, hey
(Alec)and I di-i-i-i-id.

(Recluse lifts the tablecloth off of the table, to reveal hundreds of packs of Bird's Eye 100% pork burgers.)

FG: Nooooo! I've eaten non-kosher food!

(Stasis screams and stands close to Xanthus for RA. Recluse looks disgusted at this, and begins chasing after Stasis. FG and Alec follow in pursuit, but argue over map directions and end up heading towards the lab.)

FFM & Zortel: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Zortel: *continues laughing*

FFM: Shut up!

(To keep the post to a reasonable length, I've left this post just a talky part.)

(The lift arrives at the lab floor, Stasis and Xanthus hide in the tank, as Recluse, FG and FFM come out of the lift. FFM rushes forward as he is struck by a whip Recluse is holding.)

Stasis: (/tell Xanthus) Those aren't in game yet, are they?

FFM: Aagh! Mercy master!

Recluse: How did it happen, I understand you were supposed to be spectating!

FFM: I was only away for a minute master, I needed a snack break.

Recluse: Well, see if you can find him on the Spectator screen.

(FFM uses the screen, which shows a tall guy with a black trenchcoat and a duster-hat on.)

FFM: Master, we have a visitor.

FG: Great scott! That's Sco---oh wait, no. It's just Alec.

FFM: You know this Issue 9 throwback...I mean, current and up-to-date player?

FG: I most certainly do. He happens to run the forums I post nonsense on.

Recluse: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. You came here with a purpose.

FG: I told you, we ran out of endurance. I'm telling the truth.

(On the monitor, Alec looks very shifty.)

Recluse: I know what you said, but this Alec, also known as _Max_ is not unknown to me.

FG: He's the Admin of the Off-Topic forums, which are in no way officially affiliated with the Official NCSoft Forums.

Recluse: He's also an agent for...LONGBOW! Isn't that right?

FG: Well, he might be. He does faceplant a lot.

Recluse: Well, he should be in the Plan Room.

(Alec is indeed in a room filled with Character Plans and Builds. Recluse throws a switch saying 'ED Removal'.)

Alec: (Looks up suddenly.) Full use of six-slotting!?

(Alec superspeeds through corridors, rooms and doors, until he runs slap bang into the Spectator Mode machine, with a load crash.)

FG: Alec!

Alec: FG? What are you doing here?

Recluse: Don't play games Alec. Unless it's CoH/V. You know very well what FG's doing here. It was part of your plan was it not, that he and his female duo partner, should scope the layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you, there's a change of plans. I'm sure you're adaptable, I know FG is.

Alec: I can assure you that FG's presence comes as a complete surprise to me. I came to find Aardy.

FG: Aardy? I've seen him he's...

Recluse: Aardy? What do you know about Aardy?

Alec: Well, not a lot. But he happens to run the Half-Life 2 DM server I play on!

FG: Alec!

(There is a stifled cry from the tank. Recluse strides over, and pulls the cover off to reveal Stasis and Xanthus.)

Alec: Stasis!

Stasis: Alec!

FG: Stasis!

Recluse: Xanthus!

Xanthus: *grunt*

FG: Alec!

Alec: Stasis!

Stasis: Alec!

FG: Stasis!

Recluse: Xanthus!

Xanthus: *grunt*

Recluse: Don't get shirty with me. I made you, and I can break you just as easily!

*Gong is sounded.*

Zortel: Dinner is served!

Recluse: Excellent. (Looks at Stasis.) Under the circumstances, first-slot costumes are optional.

(Recluse heads off to the lift. Switch to Bridger.)

Bridger: Food has always played a large part in life's rituals. The cafe scene in Reservoir Dogs, the pie eating contest in Stand By Me, the dog's meal that was Highlander 2, and now, this meal. However informal it might appear, you can be sure there was to be very little 'bonhomie', as nobody there could speak French that well.

(Stasis is lying on the bed in a dramatic pose as sirens go off.)

Stasis: What's happening here? Where's FG? Where's anybody? If only we hadn't made this RV run, if only we hadn't run out of endurance, if only we were amongst friends or sane persons!

(Switch to NCSoft office, with Bridger leaning back on his chair, looking cool and considerate.)

Bridger: 'If' and 'Only', two very small words. Words which kept repeating themselves in Stasis's thoughts. But it was too late to go back now. It was if she was riding a large Defiance wave, it would be folly to fight against it. Her only chance would be to ride it out, adapt, and hope she didn't faceplant.

(Switch back to lab, where Stasis is looking around. She goes to the Spectator Mode terminal, and sees Recluse giving FG the build advice for the Defiance-riding blaster.)

Stasis: Oh FG, how could you!

(There is a soft grunt from the tank. Stasis goes over to investigate, and finds Xanthus, with low HP.)

Stasis: Oh, you're hurt! Let me help!

(She gives Xanthus some green insps. A sly grin appears on her face. Switch back to Bridger.)

Bridger: The need for success. It is an irrational and powerful master, and from what Stasis had seen on the Spectator Mode panel, there seemed to be little doubt that she was indeed it's slave.

(Switch quickly to Zortel and Bushbaby's room.)

Together: Tell us about it, Stasis.

(Stasis sings, to tune of 'Toucha-Toucha-Toucha Touch Me')

I was feeling done in,
couldn't win,
only levelled normally before.

Bushbaby: You mean she..?

Zortel: Mhmm.

I thought there was no use getting,
into heavy Drecking,
it only leads to trouble,
and debt-getting.

Now all I want to know,
is to slot IOs,
I've tasted blood and I want more.

Together: More, more, more.

I need damage resistance,
speed to run the distance,
I've got new clothes to buy,
please give me influence.

P-P-P-PL me,
I want to fight dirty,
train me so they won't kill me,
I'm only level thirty five.

Then as my levels grow,
thanks to SO-o-os,
I'll sidekick up,
you exemplar down.

Together: Down, down down.

At the Faultline fracture,
and Terra Volta reactor,
then we'll go farming,
Paragon Protectors.

P-P-P-PL me,
I want to fight dirty,
train me so they won't kill me,
I'm only level thirty five.

(Bushbaby) P-P-P-PL me
(Zortel) I want to fight dirty
(Bushbaby) Train me so they won't kill me
(Zortel) I'm only level thirty five.

(Stasis)
P-P-P-PL me,
I want to fight dirty,
train me so they won't kill me,
I'm only level thirty five.

(Xanthus) Level thirty-five
(FG) Level thirty five?
(Recluse) Level...thirty five
(Bushbaby) Level thi-i-rty five
(FFM) Level thirty five
(Zortel) Level thirty five (laughs)
(Xanthus) Level thirty five!

(Stasis) Level thirty five! Oh.

*DING*

Stasis: Level thirty six.

(Xanthus begins thumping on the lift door. Recluse walks over and lets him out.)

Recluse: Don't worry, it was a mercy killing. He had a certain naïve charm, but a poor choice in driveable vehicle.

Stasis: (/tell FG) They're not in game yet either are they?

Recluse: I shall 'arrest' all who dare disobey my rules on PvP greatness! Except you of course Xanthus, you're far too good to be wasted like that.

(Xanthus toggles on every shield and aura he has. Recluse gasps, then sings, to the tune of the reprise of 'In Just Seven Days'.)

Build a control-
-ler, a blaster,
show them all you're,
the PvP master,
makes me ooh-shake,
makes me want,
to take over the whole wide land,
in just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.

I don't want no infamy,
don't go farming for prestige,
(Stasis) -I'm a toggle fa-an.

In just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.

In just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.

(FFM presses a button, and one of the walls slides open to reveal an an arena PVP-instance, into which Recluse and Xanthus go, with all their toggles on. Screen-wipe to NCSoft office, with Bridger reading a book.)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Bridger: There are some who say that Paragon City is an illusion, and that City of Heroes is simply a figment of Jack Emmert's imagination. If this is so, then FG and Stasis are quite safe. However, the sudden departure of their host and his creation to train for PvP dominance had left them feeling both apprehensive and uneasy. A feeling which grew as the other guests departed, and they were shown to their separate Player Apartments.

Rockjaw: Hang on a sec, those aren't in game yet are they?

(Screen-wipe to FG and Stasis being shown in to said apartments. They each go to the bed and lay down.)

(FFM and Zortel use Spectator mode to watch them going to sleep, before laughing, and heading off.)

(Stasis's room, red camera filter. Lights are out)

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Stasis: Who's there?

FG: Ben

Stasis: Ben who?

FG: Bend over!

Stasis: Oh FG, come in. I'm still on my normal costume slot.

FG: I've come up with a new way of slotting our powers, so that we can get out of this crazy place, and a build to go with it!

Stasis: Really, how?

FG: We use this build of an Ice Tank I have here...

Stasis: Wait a second...

(Turns on the light, to reveal Recluse with a printed-out Hero Builder sheet.)

Stasis: YOU!

Recluse: Yes Stasis, now come on, the build isn't *that* bad. I think you liked it really.

Stasis: I couldn't...I wouldn't...not an Ice Tank. FG would never forgive me.

Recluse: Oh, FG never needs to find out.

Stasis: Promise you won't tell?

Recluse: Cross my heart and hope to die, with all eight of my arms.

(Switch back to laboratory, where FFM and Zortel are cleaning up after Aardy's bike-ride.)

(Zortel nods over at the arena-instance. FFM smiles and wanders over quietly, activating Stealth as he does so. He sneaks up behind Xanthus, who is resting, and does an Assassin Strike on him, leaving Xantus with one HP.)

(Xanthus yells, and Superspeeds away.)

(Switch to FG's room, blue camera filter. Lights are out.)

*KNOCK KNOCK*

FG: Who's there?

Stasis: Stase.

FG: Stase who?

Stasis: Stay sitting down, I'm coming in.

FG: Wait a second...Stasis doesn't make bad jokes like me, she makes dirty ones!

(Switches on light, to reveal Recluse.)

FG: You!

Recluse: Yes, it's me. You had to go and ruin all the fun, didn't you? I came here to show you a build, which I think you'll like.

FG: A Defiance-riding blaster? I wouldn't, I couldn't. I-

Recluse: Oh FG, do be quiet. You know you like the idea of riding with danger.

FG: Promise you won't tell Louise?

Recluse: If I had a mother, I'd swear on her grave.

(Lights flash, and FFM's voice can be heard.)

FFM: Master, Xanthus has left the instance, and is loose within RV, Zortel has released the Archnobots.

Recluse: *sigh* Coming!

(Switch to shot of Xanthus being comically chased by Arachnobots, struggling to keep his shields on.)

(A male player dressed in bike leathers teleports in on what looks like the Batcycle, but isn't, for legal reasons.)

Bushbaby: Aardy!

Myopic Aardvark: Stay cool baby.

(Aardy sings, to tune of 'Whatever Happened To Saturday Night')

Whatever happened to forum time?
When you posted a point,
and it felt alright,
it don't seem the same since people who whine,
came into my life and sent me outta my mind.

(Bushbaby jumps onto the pillion seat.)

I used to post in a load of topics,
now I can't cos, they're too stroppy,
can't even read what they say cause spelling's sloppy,
so we went for a movie,
and we had a really good ti-i-ime.

(Broadcast, Z and FFM, and Aardy and Bushbaby go into /em dance)

Don't get mad,
I'm on a roll,
I really hate those forum trolls (x4)

(Recluse looks angry, pushes Xanthus into the lift and closes it.)

When I was a newbie,
about level twelve,
I was playing in the Hollows,
and it was hell,
I got a random invite,
through a yellow /tell,
looked at mission on the map,
it was on the other si-i-i-de.

Put my level six tra-
-vel power on,
then I started running,
that's where it wrong,
came across a Troll Smasher,
it was very strong,
called for help, and then I died,
as everyone was on Frostfire's ice sli-i-i-ide.

(Aardy lifts Bushbaby off pillion, starts up Batcycle, and begins racing around the lab.)

Uber tanker,
I'm gonna roll,
to get rid of those Hollows trolls (x4)

( 4-bar saxophone solo.)

I know it's hard to believe,
I really hate all forms of troll (x8)

(Aardy stops batcycle. Recluse walks up, and whacks him with a ruddy big broadsword, until he KOs. Bushbaby screams until the broadsword stops thwacking him.)

(Recluse stands and admires Xanthus.)

Recluse: Isn't he just the perfect specimen of PvP greatness? I just love success.

FFM: He is a credit to your l33t-skillz sir.

Recluse: Yes.

Zortel: A triumph of your villainy.

Recluse: Yes.

Bushbaby: I bet he'll TK.

Recluse: TK!? I think that he can do better than that!

(Drags Xanthus over to FG and Stasis.)

Recluse: (To Stasis) What do you think?

Stasis: Well, I don't like a man with *too* many toggles.

Recluse: I didn't rez him FOR YOU. He carries the Siren's Call seal of approval, and he didn't even have to fight there.

(Recluse sings, to the tune of 'In Just Seven Days')

(FFM and Zortel bring out an Inventions worktable)

A player, playing,
ninety-eight hours,
will get sand in his face,
unless he uses his powers,
and so in the zone,
his skills he must hone,
he'll start server wars,
as he fights for my ca-au-ause.

(Xanthus begins to tentatively create an IO.)

Can't make him listen,
or team,
and with slotting,
no need for exploits or,
che-e-e-ats,
he'll be stealthed,
and not se-e-e-en.

He'll be a strong man,
oh honey,
PvP man.

(Xanthus begins slotting his newly crafted enhancements.)

He'll be slotted for damage,
and of course, endurance,
and some accuracy,
just for insurance.

It's no effort,
for my master-plan,
in just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an

He'll do Siren's, and Warburg,
he won't talk like a jerk,
he thinks chatting on Arena,
is just too much hard work.

Such strenuous living,
to carry out my plan,
so that in just seven days,
you'll be blasted by Xa-a-a-an.

(The sound of an incoming teleport is heard, and yes, the sound of a motorbike.)

(Everyone begins heading upstairs, FG and Stasis are sidekicked by FFM and Bushbaby.)

Stasis: FG...?

FG: It's alright Stasis, we'll play along for now, and then unleash our newly-slotted IO's when the time is right.

Bushbaby: You're very lucky to be invited up to Recluse's laboratory, some players would give their account details for the privilege.

FG: People like *you* maybe.

Bushbaby: *I've* seen it, before anybody else on the Test Server no less.

(FG, Stasis, FFM, and Bushbaby all crowd into the lift.)

Stasis: Is Recluse your SG leader?

FFM: The master is not yet in a supergroup, nor do I think he ever will be.

(The lift arrives at a lab-tile map.)

Recluse: FFM, Bushbaby, go and assist Zortel. I'll entertain our...guests...

FG: Hi, I'm FG, and I'm with stupid.

Stasis: Stasis.

FG: Stasis.

Recluse: It's not often we have visitors here, what with Atlas Hall being non enter-able normally in RV, let alone offer them hospitality.

FG: Hospitality? All we wanted was to use your Global Chat! A reasonable request, which you have chosen to ignore!

Recluse: Oh what an angry tone of voice you have FG, a perfect specimen of Broadcast chat.

FFM: Everything is ready master. We merely await your specialised keybind.

(Lord Recluse turns to the assembled villains.)

Recluse: Tonight, my non-playing players, you are to witness a breakthrough in 'Rez Plz' technology, and PvP supremacy is to be mine!

It was strange the way it happened. One of those quirks of fate whilst hunting for Giant Monsters, you seem irredeemably lost, unsure of where to go, there's no sign of them, and then suddenly, they spawn on top of you! What a sucker you've been, what a fool. The GM was there all the time. It took a small accident to make it happen, an accident!

That's how I discovered the exploit, that elusive twisting of the game code, that keybind, that rezzes players without being a heal0r!

You see, FG and Stasis, you are fortunate, for tonight is the night my beautiful creature of PvP uberness is to be born!

(Lights start flashing, various auras are toggled on, and Recluse walks over to a tank covered by cloth. Zortel and Bushbaby remove the cloth to reveal a bandaged figure inside.)

Stasis: (/tell)Is that costume piece in-game yet?

(There is a loud fizzling sound, and Recluse uses a rez-power on the bandaged figure, who floats up in the air, and comes back down stunned. It removes it's bandages to reveal the face of Xanthus, who begins to sing, to the tune of 'Sword of Damocles'.)

The name of my character is hanging,
over my heeead,
I've got an urge to make sure,
that everyone in RV is to stay deeead.

Go on, Nova me,
my HP goes to infinity,
oh can't you see,
that I'm at the start of a pretty big owning.

I logged in this morning,
and I started to flame a threeeead
-That ain't no crime
Tried to get three people a warning,
got a three-day banning instead
-That ain't no crime

My high is your low,
no forums, in game I go,
and all I know,
is that I'm at the start of a pretty big owning
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
S-Os S-Os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
I-Os I-Os

The name of my character,
is hanging over my head,
-That ain't no crime
and I've got a feeling,
I should be derailing a thread
-That ain't no crime

Oh, woe to you,
I'm gonna own you too,
oh can't you see,
that I'm at the start of some very big rep points

-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
S-Os S-Os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
I-Os I-Os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
Oh Hami-os
-Sha la la la la
-That ain't no crime
I-Os I-Os

ALL: Sha la la

Stasis: FG...say something.

FG: Pwned.

(Stasis sighs and rolls her eyes.)

Stasis: FG, please, let's get out of here. I don't want to be stuck in here during server maintenance.

FG: Keep a grip on yourself Stasis.

Stasis: But, it seems so unhealthy here, there's the smell of day-old pizza, and drinks cartons lying around, as though they've been sat in one place doing something, with no regard to the outside world.

FG: It's just a LAN-party Stasis.

Stasis: Well, I want to leave.

FG: We can't go anywhere until we get Global Chat working, and we know it's safe to go outside again.

Stasis: Then ask the butler, or anybody.

FG: Let's wait a while Stasis, we don't want to appear clique-like when we've come into their domain. They're celebrating, let them do so.

Stasis: This isn't the Eurovision Song Contest, FG.

FG: (Black+white flashback to 'The Lag Warp') Are you sure? They may just be foreigners, with playing styles different to our own. They may do some more...friendly banter over broadcast.

Stasis: FG, I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm scared, and I'm not even an Ice Tank.

FG: I'm here, and I'm AR, there's nothing to worry about.

(Stasis sees a cloaked figure arrive behind them and screams.)

(Camera pans to reveal Lord Recluse, in a large cloak, covering everything but his head. He sings, to the tune of 'Sweet Transvestite'.)

How'd you do,
I see you've met my,
lagged-out handyman,
he's a little brought down,
because when you knocked,
he thought you were the GM man

Don't be confused,
by the way I look,
I'm a fighter, not a hider,
not much of a name,
in Paragon City,
but here I'm one hell of a spid-e-e-r

(Throws off cloak to reveal full mechanical spider-armour)

I'm just a sweet tarantula,
from level 50,
Grandville area

Let me show you around,
maybe go for a round,
you both look pretty PvP

Or if you want something light,
not up for a fight,
then I suppose some PvE

(Switch to FG – Spoken verse.)

I'm glad we caught you when not under attack,
can we use your Global Chat,
we're both in a bit of a hurry,
we'll just ask for advice,
and go back to the fight,
we don't want to be any worry

(Switch back to Recluse, and zoom camera in to face.)

So you got Malta-sapped,
well how about that,
don't worry it's not a prob,
by the end of the night,
it'll be alright,
you'll be fighting your favourite mob.

I'm just a sweet tarantula,
from level 50,
Grandville area

Why don't you stay for the night,
or maybe a fight,
I could show you my favourite hobby,
I've been making a man,
as part of a plan,
to get rid of players that are stroppy

I'm just a sweet tarantula,
from level 50,
Grandville area

(Lord Recluse – Spoken verse.)

So come up to the lab,
and see what's on the slab,
I see you shiver with anticipation,
but an RV raid,
may be to blame,
so I'll remove the cause,
but not the symptom!

(Steps into a lift, which heads upwards.)

Bridger: And so it seemed that fortune had smiled on FG and Stasis, and that they had come across Atlas Hall during a time when it might be taken by Heroes – or had they?

(Sound of Nova going off, switch to FG and Stasis at front door. FG clicks on the door, a message pops up saying 'Your security level is too low'.)

Stasis: Oh FG, Let's go back, I'm being side-kicked as it is, and I'm frightened.

FG: Just a moment Stasis, they may have a functioning Global Chat inside.

(The door opens to reveal FFM, dressed in a butler's outfit.)

FFM: Hellowie

FG: Hi! I'm FG, Level 47 Blaster, looking for team, and this is my duo-partner, Stasis. We ran out of endurance by the outpost, and was wondering if your Global Chat was working in here?

FFM: You're wet.

Stasis: Yes. Which is weird as there's no weather effects in the game yet.

FFM: I think you'd better both come inside.

(They enter, and head through the hall, which looks different to the normal Atlas Hall, looking a little...villainous perhaps.)

Stasis: Oh FG, I'm frightened. Why is this place like this?

FG: It's probably just a Halloween celebration in Finland, you know MaX is around at crazy times of the day, he's probably a few months out from us as well.

Stasis: (To FFM) Are you...having a party?

FFM: You've arrived at a very special time, the master is holding a large event.

Stasis: Oh...I hope he's got Luck inspirations.

(Zortel appears from out of nowhere.)

Zortel: He's got luck insps! I've got luck insps! We've ALL got luck insps!

(Music starts up, to the tune of 'The Time Warp')

(FFM sings)

It's annoying,
soul-destroying,
slowdown, takes it's toll,
move forward slowly,
hope not very much longer,
I've got to keep control.

(FFM goes to /em dance)

I remember,
doing the Lag Warp,
dreading those moments when,
the stutterness would hit me,

(FFM and Zortel together as they rush towards a set of doors and fling them open)

And the debt would be calling!

(Broadcast chorus joins in.)

Let's do the Lag Warp again!

(Stasis faints, FG gives her an Awaken.)

Let's do the Lag Warp again!

(Quick pan to Bridger in his office, playing Dance Dance Revolution)

It's just a jump to the left
-When you wanted to go ri-i-i-ight
Send a petition
-And wait all ni-i-i-ight
-But it's the rubber-banding,
-That really drives you insa-a-a-ne
Let's do the Lag Warp again!

(Zortel sings.)

It's so treacle-ly,
oh, somebody free me,
so you can't gank me,
no, not at all

In another dimension,
or a lab with inventions,
well stealthed, I see all,
with a bit of a frame skip,
you're into the lag slip,
but still, you play the game

It's a crawling sensation

(FFM sings last line.)

Like you're under sedation!

(Stasis faints again. FG gives her another Awaken.)

Let's do the Lag Warp again!

Let's do the Lag Warp again!

(Bushbaby appears, dressed in a garish outfit and sings)

Well I was sprinting down the street,
just using /em food,
when I was overtaken,
by a level 14 n00b,
well it shook me up,
took me by surprise,
he had slotted for defence,
in his Hover and Fly,
he stared at me,
then asked for team,
he kept on asking,
and I don't know why

(Back to Broadcast chorus.)

Let's do the Lag Warp again!

Let's do the Lag Warp again!

It's just a jump to the left
-When you wanted to go ri-i-i-ight
Send a petition
-And wait all ni-i-i-ight
-But it's the rubber-banding,
-That really drives you insa-a-a-ne
Let's do the Lag Warp again!

Let's do the Lag Warp again!

(Then suddenly, everyone's powers get cancelled out, and they all kneel down to rest.)

[ QUOTE ]
well done max..... i made a char called rockey horror.... he wore just yellow pants and offended lots of peeps...

needless to say i deleted him at lvl 5

[/ QUOTE ]

Dang, they obviously don't respect the Charles Atlas seal of approval.

[ QUOTE ]
Dammit, this is genius

*applause*

Whens the rest coming?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll try to do two or three songs a day, as though the plot is sketched out in my head, rewriting the lyrics so that they (almost) make sense, and are relevant to the game does take a while.

Glad people like it though.