Venture

Honestly, Shagster, I think you should put the "Final" stamp on this one and ship it. It doesn't need changes.

The final fight works because it plays into the secondary theme. Escalation Extreme's defeat doesn't need to be foreshadowed any more than it already is. It doesn't really matter that it's pretty much a deus ex machina because it wouldn't play into the theme if it didn't.

Some players are going to balk at stories in which events are out of their hands, but that's a perfectly valid type of story and a theme in itself. I have the same issue with "Two Households Alike": if you consider the primary problem of the story to be the fate of Nicia and Darren, then the player is marginalized because the arc actually lampshades the fact that there's nothing you can do about that. But that was part of the point of the arc: sometimes solutions come from unlikely places. Stories like this will work for some people and not others, and all you can do is hope you get more of the former than the latter.

Arc #149323, "Toys from Heck: The Penny Preston Taskforce"
tl;dr: 4 stars. Offenses: "just a bunch of stuff that happened" (but comedic), balance and design issues, weak dialog and plot

Reviewed on: 7/7/2009
Level Range: 40-54
Author's keywords: none
My Keywords: Challenging, Custom Characters, Comedy
Character used: Venture/Virtue

Penny Preston, the Mutant vendor, needs your help. Berserk dolls have captured most of her class at a circus field trip (typo: "an"). You have to go in and rescue them on one of the outdoor Carnie maps. Your enemies are all custom mobs, minimum-height "dolls" of various lines: construction worker, soldier, Bar^Hmbi, knight (LT only I think). Watch out for the "Sargent Smmitty" and "Bridal Bambi" models which have control powers. There are five hostages on a fairly large outdoor map so this may push some players' tedium buttons. One of the hostages is a Carnie, who confesses that they were in on it: "some creepy guy" came to them with a plan to kidnap a bunch of rich kids using the dolls, but he double-crossed them and took the kids for himself. There are also two teachers to rescue, one of which tells you most of the kids got away but the dolls made off with Tiffani and Mark, a bus driver and a cop who begs you not to tell anyone he was captured by dolls because it will make him a laughing stock. The Carnie gives you the address of the doll factory, so that's your next lead.

The address takes you to a large warehouse map with the dolls, Crey and Carnies all slugging it out. I spotted at least one instance of friendly fire (Crey defeating other Crey), which is an easy mistake to make with so many factions on one map. Penny has sent one of her friends ahead, that being (of course) Penelope Yin, who I found all the way in the back with nothing useful to say (typo: "littlethings"). There's also a desk with a bunch of overdue bills and collection notices addressed to one "Emil Silverstein" and a few Bosses to deal with, including a fire-type Paragon Protector Elite and a Master Illusionist.

Your next stop is the city's Hall of Records to find something on this Silverstein guy. This is a short mission on an office map full of Crey, who are trying to destroy the records you need. Fortunately mobs suck at destroything things in AE missions, because the file cabinet spawned in a fairly small room with about twenty assorted Tanks. On completion you find partially-destroyed records that only say Silverstein used to be a Crey employee.

It's a thin lead, but you decide to check out the Crey facility Silverstein worked at in the hopes of learning more about him. This is another short one on a tech lab. The Carnies are already there, probably looking for the same thing you are. There are two clues, one you get from a scientists captured by the Carnies (typo: "I'vehad") and one from a computer, plus a mission-end clue, that all pretty much the say the same thing: Emil Silverstein worked for Crey, where he created a new line of toys. Management nixed the line on the grounds that they were too old-fashioned, but then took the designs and started producing "updated" versions. Emil responded by stealing the prototypes and designs and trying to start his own company, which got crushed like a bug and sued to hell and back by Crey. Among all this you get an address in Kings Row for one of his warehouses, which is now your only lead.

And just in time too, as when you get back Penny tells you she's been informed via the grapevine that Tiffani's parents have received a ransom demand. You get a bring-friends warning on this one, even though Penny is going to get Penelope to help out again. The action takes place on an abandoned tech map, not a warehouse as expected. There's an (optional) Master Illusionist to take down, who complains that you're getting in the way of their revenge, Penelope to rescue (saved for last as usual), the two kids and finally The Toymaker himself, a Robotics/Radiation Emisison AV...who was standing next to a Crey Scorpinoid Boss, both with attendant spawns. If that arrangement is deliberate it's a bit much. I just said "screw it" and pushed the You Lose button (Elude). Then I went back for Penelope, the end.

The writing on this is really three star quality, but I bumped it to four for humor value. It did get a chuckle out of me at times. There is no theme and not much of a plot. There are some design and balance issues as well, particularly the faction issues in act II. Penny's dialog is vaguely annoying as she basically repeats everything your character is supposedly thinking. It could use some improvement.

Please do not tell people what or where to post, unless you are a moderator. Before anyone goes there, I did not tell people not to post replies to my reviews to this thread; I just said I wouldn't read or reply to them.

RB did not tank my last thread. She had lots and lots of help.

Arc Name: "Splintered Shields"
Arc ID: 253991
Length: Long (5 missions)
First Published: 7/7/2009 04:35 PM
Morality: Heroic
Description: An Arachnos agent makes a daring raid on Paragon City...business as usual, one might think. Or is it?

Notes: I did this one to play around a bit with some of the tools. I expect there will be some objection to the triggered events in Act II but I did use the smallest map in that class. I'm particularly interested in seeing how people take to Act III.

This one does have another guest appearance by one of my own characters: Victor Praetorius/Virtue. I wouldn't have done that if the actual Rogue Isles Villains faction was available in the Architect. I think it's hilarious that we can have Hami Mitos and the LRSF version of Ms. Liberty that uberbuffs herself every ten seconds but not the generic villains and heroes from Mayhem and Safeguard missions. Also on the issue of characters, I'm not really sure I did a good enough job on Dietrich's voice. I think my portrayal of her comes off a bit less arrogant than in the RWZ missions. Arguably that's not a bad thing as the outcome of that should have taken some of the wind out of her sails. Time will tell, I guess, as people respond to it (or not).

Arc Name: "Why We Fight"
Arc ID: 253990
Length: Long (4 missions)
First Published: 7/7/2009 04:34 PM
Morality: Villainous
Description: Arbiter Webster uses the Architect Entertainment system to show loyal subjects of Lord Recluse the wisdom and benevolence of their monarch. Or...maybe not. A political satire in four acts.

Notes: This is an attempt at comedy largely at Arachnos' expense. Because it's a satire it has to be deconstructed a little to get the point, so I expect I'll take some flak from people who don't get it, particularly over Act III. Just try to remember who you're supposed to be laughing at. The writing is deliberately over-the-top in a lot of places as part of the joke. So far in its preview run on Test the arc has gotten good feedback.

The disjointed level range is a bit annoying, but my options were to either use a much more limited faction for Act I, squeeze the entire arc into the 20-29 range, or allow it the range to vary. I decided the last was the least of all evils.

When someone submits their arc for review to Venture, put in what they think their themes are.

I would rather people did not do this, because your theme is supposed to come across on its own, not only when you've tipped your hand in advance.

Just as an FYI, I did play this arc with a Dominator when I reveiwed it. "Jiggles" was a handful especially with an empty Domination bar but I did have one of the Spectral Daemon Lords as an Ally. I took him down without a death.

Everything else is just set dressing and wardrobe.

I'm sure Shakespeare could have used that advice.

I am given options to rate stuff as i see fit and that is just what i do.

On a purely philosophical basis, you are of course free to draw your own line in the sand and stand by it.

The rest of us are free to point out how unreasonable your standards are.

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Adding more recent 4 and 5 star arcs from my reviews:

5 stars: "Aeon's Nemesis", #161865

4 stars: "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend", #114284, "Sharkhead Isle and the Circle of Banished Warriors", #32801, "The Beating Heart of Astoria: A Play in Five Acts", #170547, "Forever Lost", #135563, "A Simple Misunderstanding", #97774, "The Knights of Rularuu - I15 Edition", 75386; "The All-Seeing Eye", #57352; "Who Is Leonard Grubbenberry?", #189675, "Have a Blap, Blap, Blappy Day Kids!", #2019

Edit: rectified omission

I never give a 5 and i never give a 1. It really is that simple.

No, it isn't. If I adopted that policy no one would bother reading my reviews, and they would be right to do so. Your standards are unreasonable.

Small change: added two new Titan units. The Theseus (LT) and Perseus (Boss) are lightweight human-sized units, cheaper and easier to deploy in urban areas.

so it doesn't make sense to you that I don't believe anything is perfect?

If I can find arcs worthy of five stars, so can you.

The Doctor is a canon character, not an author insert. She figures significantly in Gordon Stacy's missions.

Executable Number Six is also a canon character.

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I squishy-tested the original version of my Malta arc "Blowback" with a level 32 EnB/Dark Corruptor. Of course she was autolevelled to 41 but still.

If you can't handle Malta you need to lrn2ply n00b.

Arc #195149, "The Horsemen Chronicles (Part 1)
tl;dr: 3 stars. Offenses: "just a bunch of stuff that happened", balance and plot issues

Reviewed on: 7/3/2009
Level Range: 10-14
Character used: The Philosoraptor/Freedom

"Part 1"...not a good sign.

"Horseman Alpha", leader of a special Longbow unit in charge of monitoring Praetorian activity, wants your help. The Praetorians are a threat level 40+ outfit; why is this job going to security level 10-14 characters? Moving on... The Horsemen detected a brief dimensional anomaly originating from Praetoria and ending up in Paragon's sewers. The browser claims that this uses an easier version of the Vahzilok, but I didn't see any change. You have to crawl through the sewers until you find a few bodies of water department workers, one of which is missing its ID badge. Finding that triggers the spawn of Omega, a Ninjitsu/Trick Arrow Elite Boss with a fairly large spawn of Vahzilok guards. This is really over the top for an arc that tops out at 14. Omega teleports out on defeat.

Alpha's investigation concludes that Omega is a Praetorian (I can't imagine of who) and he's on the move again, somehow agitating a bunch of Skulls into an attack on Oranbega. Not on the Circle, which has low-ranking members in Kings Row, but Oranbega itself. This should be like a re-enactment of the battle of Ypres, but anyway.... The place is full of Skulls complaining that the Circle stole one of their bandanas. There is no indication that this bandana is special in any way, but the Skulls have gone to war over it. There's a Madness Mage to deal with and three display cases to check. Two of them have artifacts that should be worthy of attention; the third probably held the missing bandana. Clicking it spawns Omega again, and again with a large guard party (2 LTs, 2 Minions). He's set to Entire Encounter, too. On your return Alpha still has no idea what's up.

Alpha gets Synapse to give him access to the database on Praetoria, and thus gets the information he needs to actually do his job: the Praetorian counterpart to the Freedom Corps ("Force Initiative"...the author's invention, as far as I know, and thus likely to be contradicted fairly soon) has established a unit called "Wolfpack" run by Omega, and it reports to Tyrant. Omega's now been sighted in the Hollows dealing with Outcasts, so off you go. This one's a Cimerora cave map with Outcasts and Trolls looking for a "pale stone key". Omega is present again but as an optional encounter, as you actually get the key before he finds it this time.

Omega's response is to take hostages, including Dave Wincott's son Sam. You're to bring the key to the site or else. There isn't time to create a fake so Alpha sends you with the real one. The entry pop-up narrates you handing over the key to one of Omega's Hellion allies as soon as you enter. Most of the hostages are then released, except for three he's kept as "insurance". Personally I don't know of a single police force that will negotiate for hostages, but anyway.... Sam is among the three, of course, and tells you that Omega stole his "Badge of Honor". That should get anyone with a badge-hound.com account after him, at least.

For the finale, Omega is going after a particular Clockwork fragment in Steel Canyon. He's somehow convinved the Clockwork King to lend him some wind-ups for this. Alpha explains that each of these objects is connected to one of the Origins of Power, and having all five would allow Omega to open a permanent portal to Praetoria. This looks like a job for a level 10 character! You have to find the Clockwork fragment, then stop construction of three portal devices (destroyable objects), then defeat a triggered Clockwork Boss, who calls an ambush, during which fight the Clockwork steal the fragment from you (HOW?) and take it to Omega, who is supposed to spawn after the Boss' entire encounter is dealt with...but didn't. And there was no way I was going through all that again.

The arc has no theme and has some significant balance issues. Using an Elite Boss for Omega, along with high settings for guards, is over the top for an arc this low, and it's exacerbated by having him appear repeatedly. Frankly, he's not interesting enough to want to fight once, never mind 3-5 times. The arc's level range is doubly problematic given the storyline. The Praetorians are a world-class threat; why is this work being handed off to rookie heroes? And how is Omega able to get so many factions to co-operate with him so easily? The dialog is competent and using the low-level arc souvenirs is cute, but this one has more than its fair share of problems.

Map selection: odd, the briefing made me think I'd be in the Shadow Shard, but it looks like a regular science lab.

There are no Shadow Shard maps available. At all.

Arc #156389, "Kiss Hello Goodbye"
tl;dr: 1 star. Offenses: Mary Sue, powerposes/mind controls the player, overpowered mobs, "just a bunch of stuff that happened", borderline Shaggy Dog

Reviewed on: 7/3/2009
Level Range: 1-54
Character used: Agent Cerulean/Justice

I played this a while ago without reviewing it and gave it one star. Then the author asked for a review so into the queue it went....

Dame Eden Lake of the Most Common Sup...uh, "Order of the Garter" (which in reality is a very exclusive English order of knighthood), visiting from London, wants your help in finding her sister Ligeria. As the browser entry warns the text "hijacks your inner monologue" so everything can be written as a Chandler pastiche. You're either going to love this or hate it; I hate it. The first lead takes you to a Bad Guy Bar on a casino map meaning (as the acceptance text warns) you can count on almost instant agro. The browser entry also warns you there is an "optional EB" in every mission. In this case, the "optional" EB is a "Gorilla G Goon", a Super Strength/Willpower with Heightened Senses, meaning he sees through stealth and has an agro range of roughly the entire map. Just to eliminate any possiblity that I wouldn't be torqued off he spawned at the door. After the second defeat I discovered he also has Rise to the Challenge, which for mobs means outrageous regen -- he was hitting 45 HP/second if my pets were out (35 without; I eventually decided the pets were doing more harm than good). This meant I had to keep both debuffs on him at all times (problematic with Surveillance's long animation) to have any chance ot actually hurting him. The actual target is "Slick Willie" a Quantum (?) Underboss, who eventually tells you that he was coming on to Ligeria because she could manufacture a new drug called "Siren". He didn't know what it did exactly, only that it was worth a lot. Eden tells you Ligeria is no chemist and is afraid of what will happen to her when the crooks she's fallen in with find out she can't help them.

Willie's lead sends you to a ship arriving that night, probably carrying drugs and (essentially) slaves. Eden gives you a locket with a picture of two small girls to give to Ligeria, supposedly to let her know you're legit. Unfortunately, it turns out the ship was there for a pickup, not a delivery, and Ligeria is not there. Gorilla is here again but fortunately spawned off in a corner. You get a license plate for a truck that left just before you arrived, which Eden is able to track for you, though I have no idea why anyone she could conceivably have reasonably turned to as an investigator would need her help to run down a license plate number.

The truck is traced to a warehouse, your next target. Gorilla spawned up front again at which point I decided I had enough, since I already know what's at the end of the ride. To summarize: Ligeria secretes the "Siren" drug, which is essentially a mind-control pheromone with the additional property of potentially causing anyone exposed to it to start producing it as well. Your Contact is not her sister; I forget what the exact relationship is but it doesn't matter because your Contact is actually the Big Bad, an author insert who mind-controls you for most of the arc. She's in cahoots with Gorilla to catch Ligeria and "dissolve" her into a new form of the drug which only Eden and Gorilla have a counteragent for (except Eden's backstabbed him too and his version of the counteragent doesn't work.) The arc ends with you destroying Eden's lab and getting into a fight with her (AV) that she's intended to escape from (flees, and with PToD is pretty much impossible to stop except by killing her).The arc is a Mary Sue story that plays the character for a sap and has poor game play to boot.

People who don't rate anything 5 stars crack me up.

What's even funnier is that I'm not one of them.

And we used to have a "How To Survive A Venture Review" thread until it was autopurged....

I'm pretty sure you have no idea what the [censored] this even means.

I've defined it several times. Perhaps you could explicate your position rather than just toss off an attempted bon mot?

Arc #113954, "Pawn Promotion"
tl;dr: 3 stars. Offenses: "just a bunch of stuff that happened", problematic mobs, underwritten

Reviewed on: 7/2/2009
Level Range: 1-54
Character used: Agent Cerulean/Justice

Tzarina Frost, herself a "Destined One", wants help in stealing the Russian Crown Jewels, ostensibly because if she were to do the prep work herself it would tip off her enemies. The first part is to break into the Russian National Archives to determine where the jewels are now. This is a simple hit on an office map against some custom soldier mobs (though the NCOs inexplicably have Dark Blast). There is one Boss, "Bogatyr", a Broadsword/Shield Defense.

The next step is a raid on a military warehouse. It's timed at 60 minutes and you're warned a member of the "Russian Revolutionaries", Bogatyr's group, may already be on the scene. Unfortunately the timed mission warning is in the acceptance text, not the briefing. There are two Bosses in this one, both obnoxious: "Ursa Major", Super Strength/Willpower with Rage and "Powersuit Mark 1", Energy Blast/Invulnerability with Aim. There's really no excuse for either now. The latter says "You have defeated the Colonel!" on death, which really should be a death message, not speech, and also has a default bio. In any case, Your Princess Is In Another Castle, as the jewels aren't here. Orders you find after defeating Powersuit say they were removed about 10 minutes before you arrived.

The Fight Scene is an attempt to catch the convoy carrying the jewels, using the Skyway map. Tzarina comes along herself as an Ally, Ice Blast/Cold Domination. There are several Bosses to defeat. "Cherenkov" is a Radiation Blast/Radiation Emission who self-buffs with Accelerate Metabolism and has no text whatsoever (not even a bio). There's another Powersuit Mark 1 and two Mark 3's (Energy Assault/Energy Aura). "Mother Russia" was Earth Control/Ice Blast, I think...died too fast. And you have to find a truck to destroy, which may not be on the main part of the map with the wrecked vehicles...this map is a lot bigger than most people think. Tzarina gets the jewels, she gives you the rest of the valuables that were in the truck and says you will be a "defender of the realm" when she reclaims the Russian throne.

The arc has no theme and is very underwritten...there is very little dialog, some mobs have no bios and the ones that do are terse. There are very few clues as well and again, the ones you get are very short. The result is a short ride along a route with very little scenery.

The level range should be what the story requires. If it doesn't make sense if the player is under or over level X, then X it is.

Arc #189675, "Who is Leonard Grubbenberry?"
tl;dr: 4 stars. Nits: "just a bunch of stuff that happened" (but comedic)

Reviewed on: 7/2/2009
Level Range: 1-54
Character used: Amy Sunflower/Virtue

Detective Baxter asks you to look into a Council bank robbery that's particularly suspicious due to the amount of troops involved. There are two Archons to defeat, both of which imply they were after one Leonard Grubbenberry and not the bank's money. Leonard is one of two hostages, both escorts, and when you lead him out you get an ambush of more Council trying to prevent his escape. Baxter says Grubbenberry didn't seem unusual but he's going to look into the matter.

Baxter's investigation doesn't turn up anything unusual, but there must be something going on because Arachnos is attacking Grubbenberry's office and they seem to be after him in particular. Baxter sends you in both to protect him and to try to find out what's going on. Again, it's pretty straightforward, take out a leader and escort Grubbenberry out, with ambush. You still don't find out why he's so popular, though, and when you return to Baxter you find out It Got Worse: he's intercepted chatter saying the Freakshow, the Clockwork and even the Rularuu are after him! Grubbenberry and his wife are put in a safehouse why you try to sort out the mess.

Eight safehouses get hit by various groups looking for this guy, none of them the right one. While the PPD is at least finding out which of their safehouses aren't secure any more, they're Not Amused. Fortunately Baxter has found the Council base the bank robbery team came from and sends you to it for some Aggressive Investigation. The base commander, Archon Stivens, claims as you pummel him that Grubbenberry was being protected by Longbow, something confirmed by a Longbow communique you find in the base's computers...in a six-month old cypher. Baxter gets upset not only that Longbow let the info slip but his liason officer didn't bother to let him in on it when all this started.

Of course, that's because Longbow denies sending the message in the first place. It's a forgery, and they've traced it to a section of the sewers. When you get there, the place is full of "Henchmen 'R Us" troops. Who they're working for and what's going on is the big reveal I won't spoil. There's a very small nit in the denouement I won't go into since it touches on the reveal.

The humor is effective but on the low-key side, which is part of why the arc only gets four stars. (Actually there's a mathematical joke related to the reveal but I'm not sure the Architect meant to invoke it.) Also there's not enough sense of the various factions fighting over Grubbenberry. Actually seeing battles between some of the factions would be an improvement, though it might mean constraining the level range.

It's about the seventh in the rotation currently so it's not going to come up too quickly.

Arc #57352, "The All-Seeing Eye"
tl;dr: 4 stars. Offenses: "just a bunch of stuff that happened", some small dialog and plot issues

Reviewed on: 7/1/2009
Level Range: 45-54
Character used: Ghostblaze/Infinity

Sgt. Pandora, a patriotic-themed heroine, wants you to investigate the recent loss of communication with an intelligence satellite, the "Electric Eye". Key components were built at Crey years ago so it's possible security was compromised there...you think? When you arrive the Knives of Artemis are on the scene battling with Crey security, also looking for the satellite's encryption codes. There is one glowie to find, a computer from which you learn that Crey retained files on the codes despite agreeing not to, and the files have been compromised though it's not possible to tell by whom.

Act II opens with a break in the case: an informant has tipped off the FBSA that a Council Archon out in Striga may have the codes. The first thing I heard on entry to his base was chatter from an Arachnos patrol, so there's one more player in the mix.... Unfortunately taking out the Archon only reveals Your Princess Is In Another Castle: his spy inside Crey failed to obtain the codes. The chatter from the Arachnos patrol implicated a "Fortunata Hekata"....

...so it's off to beat her up for Act III. The Knives show up again, this time with a Boss. You do get the codes from Hekata, who actually did get them from Helsinger...both of whom found the codes don't work any more. You get what you came for, but you don't get any answers.

Things take a turn for the chaotic in Act IV. Interrogation of Evanelyne, the Knives Boss, reveals the Knives have been hitting Crey, the Council, Arachnos and even Nemesis trying to get these codes for Malta. Unfortunately you learn this just after the Rikti wiped out a Malta base in Eden. They followed that up with an attack on a Nemesis facility. You head in to find Nemesis losing to the Rikti. There's a Master Gunslinger ally to rescue (" Tango-Alpha-Nine: For the love of Earth, let us fight together this day to save our world!"...doesn't sound much like Malta). You have to take out the leader of the Rikti forces, who tells you that the Rikti now control the satellite and implies they're about to use it somehow. Pandora tells you the satellite is capable of monitoring any and all forms of communication, including the controls for the War Walls. It's only a matter of time before the Rikti can use it to shut them down.

So in Act V it hits the fan. The Rikti are trying to hack the War Walls and massing their forces in the RWZ for a huge strike. Pandora is going to lead a counter-offensive while you hit the base the Rikti are controlling the satellite from. Um, why don't we hit that base with everything we have, since it's the money shot? Moving on... You have a timed mission (90 minutes) to destroy the station and take out the Warlord in charge. For whatever reason the Rikti chose to set up the control station near one of the Vanguard fortresses. You find the boss and the glowie, destroy both, the end. Pandora thanks you and says the satellite is being destroyed so this never happens again.

The arc lacks a theme and the dialog could use some touching up, but otherwise it's pretty good. The ending might benefit from being moved to an indoor map with some explanation as to why the player is being sent to what should be the primary objective instead of ARCLIGHTing it or the like.