Tramontane

Hey Sackperson!

we don't take kindly to your type around here.

*Strides into the alley with his hat pulled low on his face, idly thumbing the ice pistols on his holster*

Howdy, y'all.

I came in search of the one they call... the Rook.

*Dramatic "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" music*

Oh good heavens, I finally get back on the forums and it's nearly eleven!

Um...

*Listens to smooth jazz, reads beatnik poetry, and sips coffee from a coffee house*

I meant to be here late. Really.

But bacon is the one true weakness of my ice-pistols! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh, hey, wait. No. I was thinking of thermal energy.

My bad. Continue.

Right.

I knew that, it was a brain-on-autopilot thing. I swear.

*Hands Fedor a pair of little tiny ice-pistols*

Yeah, but if they backfire it'll just fluff snow in my face.

Heya, Mistah Sock

Hey, look, man, I do Ice.

It's what I do.

I'm an ice GUY.

Sheesh. It's not my fault the Winter Lord doesn't do fireworks or shiny stuff.

*Walks in wielding dual ice-pistols*

PEWPEW

*Takes aim and pulls the trigger, causing tiny puffs of snow to come out of the muzzle*

How goes, all?

*Bursts into the room with his army of demonic badger-riding gnomes, cackling in maniacal glee*

... Oh, wait. Sorry. I thought... um...

Aw, jeez. *Sends the gnomes on a fifteen-minute break*

Hey, um. Hi. *Peers around awkwardly*

*Roughly kicks Pogo out of the trunk*

WASH YOUR CHIMP SUIT. Jeez, can't even breathe in here.

Oh, Jesus, do I have to be the damn monkey?

Hello, all.

*Rocks into the thread*

Darn it, I missed a whole big long one!

*Peers around suspiciously, then begins sculpting ice-statues of the thread posters*

Long as I'm here at the tail end, I may as well preserve it for posterity.

Provided posterity shows up before sunrise tomorrow.

*Strides in, covered in wolverine and wolf fur, and carrying a gnomish shield and the Nemesis staff, and glares irritably around the room*

GNOMES.

RIDING BADGERS.

HELLS TO THE YES.

... I can't help it. I'm a pro-Badger activist. >.>;;

If I might be so bold as to recommend a Ice/Ice, not for its spectacular Melee (Its melee is only meh) but because between the melee and the sick controls, you get the unique experience of freezing somebody in a block of ice, then waltzing up to them and polishing them off with a big old ice sword.

The lack of AOE is a pain, but hey, Ice Storm gives you the Slow effect, which is really nice.

Though obviously this is not a pure Blapper, it does become both easy and fun to get up close and personal with enemies, or at least I've always found it to be so.

Good against groups, but don't try it against anything that cons higher than you, you'll get nommed.

OP totally misses the entire fun of Ice/Ice.

We, ladies and gentlemen, are the world's premier BLAPPTROLLER. That's the whole point!

Oh, please. Any show that lasts for that damn long and doesn't get any less popular has GOT to be insidious in nature. Clearly, clearly the Simpsons is nothing but a secret plot to implant a subliminal urge for donuts, beer, and the consumption of knee-length undergarments.

However, by that same logic, the short-lived, god-awful live-action adaptation of Animorphs couldn't POSSIBLY be a Nemesis plot

But that means less cage-fighting.

Man, I was just about to reveal my master strategy to defeat the wolverines.

It involved gnomes riding badgers.

OY! NOT FRAGGING COOL

*Tosses a slab of raw meat at NekoAli and flies away*

Wait, I'm confused... we don't do a single weekend one anymore?

*Creates a wall of ice around himself and nods in satisfaction as the wolverines bounce off*

Hmph. Anyway, as I was saying, um...

WHO WANTS SOME OF THIS?

*Raises his arms triumphantly in the air, then promptly slips and falls on his backside again*

*Rocks out to the Immigrant Song as he strides into the cage, leaving a thin later of frost on everything he passes*

Oh yeah, ladies and gentlemen, Tramontane is in the GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH-

*Attempts to flee from the wolverines, then slips and falls on the ice*