Steelclaw

Gold Plated SteelClaw
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  1. I was running my brand new shield/stone tank yesterday through Atlas when I realized I wouldn't make a good hero.

    My reasoning on this is the plethora of snide and wise-acre comments that go through my mind when the civillians thank me for rescuing them. I doubt I'd be able to keep my mouth shut if I were in-game and doing the same thing.

    Here are just a few examples:

    You’re my new favorite hero!
    • May I have the name of your old favorite hero? I’d like to send them a sympathy card for taking their job.
    • Can I have the old favorite hero’s phone number? I’ve got some serious gloating time coming to me.
    • Wow, it’s a good thing I have really low standards, huh?

    Maybe I was wrong about capes.
    • Perhaps, I wouldn’t know… I’m not wearing one.
    • Oh absolutely! They’re very slimming and for pure panache they’re just FAB-ulous!

    How can I ever repay you?
    • Well, you can start by not being so danged stingy with the influence and prestige!
    • Weeelll… it’s not very heroic.. but my apartment isn’t far from here…
    • Lucky for you I have an “easy-finance” low interest payment plan for just such situations!
    • Well… in some cultures saving a person’s life makes that person your slave…

    You’re Awesome!
    • Good start… keep ‘em coming.
    • You tell me this as if I didn’t know it already.
    • No, I’m Steelclaw … say it with me… Steel-Claw…

    This is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me!
    • You really need to get out more then.
    • Do you need a cigarette now?
    • Hey! This is a teen rated game! Put your clothes back on!!
    • Yet… judging by the fact that you gave me NO influence or prestige.. you’re not going to tell another living soul about it.

    You’re the Best!
    • The best at WHAT precisely? I’ve been burned by that compliment before.
    • Then I demand a raise.
    • I’m a second level hero whose still street sweeping… you really need a better basis for comparison.
    • You know, my mom says the same thing, but I think dad pays her to.

    You are so strong.
    • HEY! I don’t make comments about YOUR body odor, do I?
    • Heck yeah! Did you see the way I ripped off that Hellion’s arm and beat him over the head with it? Pure win, baby!

    Thank you for helping me.
    • My pleasure; that’ll be $29.95… unless you want to take advantage of our “buy one get one at half price” special.. in which case I’ll take the full $44.98 up front now and the next time I rescue you will be a freebie.
    • And thank YOU for continuing to walk through the bad parts of town with your purse hanging out in plain sight and still refusing to either drive to work or take self-defense classes. Without people like you I’d be out of a job.

    Nice costume.
    • I’m not a human… this is what I look like.
    • Oh. Er… thanks.. you too… nice… umm… shirt.
    • (female hero): It’s not my “costume” you’re looking at and my eyes are UP here. The eyes… you know.. the part that’s about to shoot lasers at you.

    Thank you very much. Every week someone is trying to steal my purse.
    • And yet you continue to carry it around with you.
    • There’s this magical invention called “A Wallet.”
    • That’s horrible! Here… give it to me for safe keeping.

    Paragon City needs more heroes like you.
    • See… that would mean more to me if I hadn’t heard you say the exact same thing to “Rouge.Angle69” yesterday.
    • I’m a fire/kinetics controller… trust me… Paragon already has more than enough of me.
    • You think so? So do I. We cat-girls are like, totally underpopulated.

    Finally, someone with honor!
    • Honor? Yeah… umm.. totally… I rescued you for honor.. it had nothing to do with the experience points, influence, prestige, inspirations, salvage or enhancements I hoped to get from you…
    • Where?!
    • Finally, someone with gullibility!

    Thank you! You arrived just in time!
    • Bull***t… I’ve been standing over there watching you… at the end of it you two were standing around exchanging recipes for Lasagna.
    • Are you sure? Purse tug-of-war is a great cardio and resistance work out. I bet you could have done at least a dozen more reps.
    • What? I save your freaking life and now you’re gonna complain that I was almost late?!

    I’m so glad you came along.
    • So was my mother… 15 hours of labor can make a person impatient.
    • Oh really? Got something valuable in that purse you didn’t want to lose, huh? Say, have you heard about Going Rogue? Soon we heroes will be able to turn villain… Yeah, I know.. shocking… heh.

    You’re a saint!
    • Oh great! So now in addition to having to save your freakin’ a**… I’ll be responsible for saving your SOUL too?!
    • No, no… common mistake… I got the halo from collecting candy canes during the winter event.
    • Huh? A saint? Oh.. Oh sure.. Yes.. Absolutely my dear… I’m a saint… And if you’ll come back with me to my.. er.. church.. I’ll show you a holy rite called the “laying on of hands.”
    • Yeah, and so’s an entire New Orleans football team if you believe the hype.
    • If you can declare me a saint, then you must be the Pope… see? This is what happens when you walk instead of riding in the bubble of the pope-mobile.


    I hope my children grow up to be just like you!
    • You hate them that much, huh?
    • I can help with that… first you want to get a swimming pool sized vat of toxic waste… then make them go swimming during a lightning storm.. you may want to buy a couple lightning rods first to increase your chances…
    • Here’s a card… this is a place where you can get replacement robot parts cheap.
    • Aw, that’s easy… I hear Countess Crey is always looking for more lab rats… and she pays extra for the young ones.
    • Then you’d better get to work.. you’ll need to be a billionaire before getting murdered in front of their eyes.
  2. The fire/kin era is over...

    It is now the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius.
  3. [ QUOTE ]
    That's cause jarheads are suppose to distract the cannon fodder while the scary over trained special troops take out the head. Unless the more effective target is easily bombed to all hell and back.
    I didn't fair much better as a member of the Army...our job seemed to be to annoy the less threating cannon fodder so the marines could shoot at the bigger targets.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    At least you guys had good equipment to work with while doing so. I swear the Marine Corps is like the youngest child in a poor family.

    "But ma! I don't wanna wear Susie's hand-me-downs! I'm a 16 year old MALE! And all she ever wore are skirts!"

    "Hush up Mark, we don't have the money to buy new clothes... just tell all yer friends it's a kilt."

    Oh, and here's something I used to do all the time to my compatriots in the Air Force... feel free to use it yourself... loads of fun just to see the expressions on their faces:

    "Hey, Sky Jockey, can you explain something to me? Okay... so... the Marine Corps has its own air force. And the Army has its own air force.. And the Navy? The Navy as an air force even bigger than the Air Force! So... why exactly... do we need an Air Force?"

    If you really want to have fun with it... make a drinking game out of their answer... every time they mention the word "mission" you have to take a shot.
  4. Steelclaw

    A Pondering

    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    Must.... resist.... making.... list... doctor.... said... bad... for... heart....

    Ah heck with it...

    If everything is a Nemesis plot...

    ... then the furthest time travel in history was to the Garden of Eden.. though how he fit in the snake costume is beyond me.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    It was a Snake Automaton.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    ....................with pie!

    and the pie was really tempting. (does she eat the apple, or the pie?)

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Which begs the philosophical question... Which came first; the apple or the pie?
  5. Steelclaw

    A Pondering

    Must.... resist.... making.... list... doctor.... said... bad... for... heart....

    Ah heck with it...

    If everything is a Nemesis plot...

    ... then the furthest time travel in history was to the Garden of Eden.. though how he fit in the snake costume is beyond me.

    ... every detective and investigator in the world is out of a job.

    ... it's going to make all the crime shows on TV reeeeeeally predictable.

    ... "Nemesis made me do it" will soon replace "the devil made me do it" as a kid's excuse for bad behavior.

    ... then I now know who to blame for my last 3 ex-girlfriends.

    ... and that one night in Lexington, Kentucky.

    ... then we now understand why all the Fake Nemesis robots; he's just delegating authority.

    ... then Kim Jong-Il is DEFINITELY a failed one.
  6. Okay, me boy-o's

    It's no longer Froiday ... we've gone on to Saturday... This thread is obsolete...

    Move it along.. nothin' ta see here...

    Oh... and on the subject being discussed... that sort of pain Creeps.. it's not bad enough that you have to experience the pain.. it's not bad enough to have to lay on the ground trying hard to keep from vomitting as it feels like the Alien embryo is trying to crawl out through your guts... no...

    Some sadistic person in the Bio-Engineering division of Heaven had to put a delay timer on the system..

    Yep... so we guys get hit there and get to THINK about it for about 2 or 3 seconds before it really gets us..

    "Oh hey... she kicked me right between the legs... really hard too.. ah jeeze... I hate this part.. it's true.. the waiting has got to be the worrrrssstt...unnnghhh..."

    Thud.

    Writhe.
  7. [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    I was actually relieved to see them NOT there the last few Mayhems I ran.

    I don't mind them overall since I know they're going to occur, but I have a problem with them on two specific points:
    <snip>

    2) Ambushes target Masterminds and TOTALLY ignore the pets. Yes, I know that if you have them on follow/defense you still have a better than average chance of survival, but still.. it's that darned Logic thing again...

    "Okay men, take 'em out! NO! Not the giant menacing robots who are shooting laser beams of death at us! Take out the small scientist-looking dude behind them.. yeah... the one with the coke-bottle glasses and the comb-over. He's putting shields on the robots while hiding in a corner... he MUST be dangerous!"

    [/ QUOTE ]

    ... how does that *not* make sense? Destroy the command/control center, watch the rest fall apart. Going after an anti-aircraft site? You don't go after the guns/missiles first, you hit the radar. Starting to invade? Take out the communications centers and any HQ you know of. Remove the commander, watch the troops become less effective or coordinated. Command and control is a far more important target. In the case of the mastermind, that target is *you.*

    [/ QUOTE ]
    See.. I was in the Marine Corps.. and they didn't train us to NOT shoot the guys shooting at us and only shoot at the Captain behind them.

    Sure, I understand the concept of shooting the control board for an automated system... but if 6 thugs are shooting at me and one isn't.. hmmm... I think I may very well want to eliminate the ones sending lead down range first.. and maybe buy the pacifist a nice meal and a thank you card afterwards..

    but that's just me
  8. Okay, I'll grab this one...

    While in concept this would be a great idea... in action I'm not seeing it happen. The main problem can be summed up in one word:

    Profitability.

    Web comics are popular because the production costs are relatively low. Art supplies and web space is pretty much it. You get a solid enough fan base and the donations alone will at least see you breaking even. The more popular ones allow their artists to work on it full time.

    When you're talking actual animated cartoons the production costs sky-rocket dramatically. There would have to be a way to make money off the site. Or at the very least, if NCSoft produced them, a way to link positive advertising to it. If the only people watching the cartoon were the ones already playing the game... well.. hard to argue any benefit there.

    So... excellent idea.. and I would definitely watch it... but unlikely.

    Okay, serious time is over... we now return you to your regularly scheduled Steelclaw... already in progress...

    ... and dirty Johnny said "wrecked 'em? It freakin' killed 'em!"
  9. I was actually relieved to see them NOT there the last few Mayhems I ran.

    I don't mind them overall since I know they're going to occur, but I have a problem with them on two specific points:

    1) They're unfair to Stalkers because they totally negate Hide. On a game level this is just another obstacle to overcome, so no big deal. On a logical level this sort of irks me because there's no reason for them to be able to suddenly see the stalker.

    "Oh hey! It wasn't an AMBUSH you spawned! No, no... You just stepped in that puddle of paint back there and we've been following your footsteps. But don't worry, as soon as you kill us the paint will magically disappear from your foot! Until the NEXT paint puddle that is."

    2) Ambushes target Masterminds and TOTALLY ignore the pets. Yes, I know that if you have them on follow/defense you still have a better than average chance of survival, but still.. it's that darned Logic thing again...

    "Okay men, take 'em out! NO! Not the giant menacing robots who are shooting laser beams of death at us! Take out the small scientist-looking dude behind them.. yeah... the one with the coke-bottle glasses and the comb-over. He's putting shields on the robots while hiding in a corner... he MUST be dangerous!"
  10. [ QUOTE ]
    - The keys on your keyboard are some gosh-awful shade of brown/tan or orange.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    ... and each one is the size of a half-dollar.
  11. ... by their Evil Praetorian Doubles!

    - Villains now get ALL the developer love!

    - Sappers no longer drain endurance; they drain experience points.

    - The hero tutorial now has the heroes escaping from villainous clutches; in Grandville.

    - The Atlas Statue is now unstable and has a 0.01% per minute chance of collapsing and crushing everyone beneath it. This raises to 25% if the words "Costume Contest" appear in the chat window.

    - You now get debt for defeats starting at 1st level.

    - At 10th level the hospital port no longer works.

    - At 20th level you get the new Hardcore Debt system; you die.. have fun making a new character.

    - You may now respec your character's AT and power sets. All those taking advantage of this are not allowed access to secondary powers or pool powers.

    - The primary villains of the Rogue Isles are redesigned; they now all look suspiciously like Developer photos you've seen in the forums.

    - You now get experience points for kicking puppies.

    - Two weeks later they nerf puppy farming.

    - New badges appear for tripping the elderly, improperly using handicapped parking spots, making lewd comments during costume contests and putting a gas mask over the face of the barfing guy in Pocket D.

    - The bathrooms are now accessible; but entering them forces you to play the "Clean the Bowl with a Toothbrush" mini-game.

    - When Going Rogue goes live Heroes switching sides to Villains get a permanent experience point bonus of +20%! Villains switching to heroes get a permanent state of Confuse that only allows them to attack their team mates.

    - Your initial Atlas Park contact sends you on a hazard zone Fed Ex missions. "Take my laundry to Terra Volta! And tell them not to put so much freakin' starch in it this time!"

    - Heroes entering PvP zones have their perception drop to the level of a mole forced to stare at stadium lighting.

    - Players are offered life time free memberships if they agree to join the Developer Horde. Once numbers are high enough we march on Cryptic!!
  12. [ QUOTE ]
    So... how da hell am I going to come up with an alternate version of Morac? (No, spelling it backwards doesn't count).

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Morac..

    More-ac..

    More-AC

    so...

    LessDC

    or alternatively...

    Less AC which would in fact be .. Warmer.
  13. 9) When defeated the boss falls apart.. literally.. it turns out he was just a robot! The person inside who was running him scurries off screen and threatens vengeance. When the party clicks Exit they are instead teleported to a different map where the NEW BIGGER robot is waiting. This could be a very bad thing if the party doesn't all click Exit together or a few key players have slow load times.

    10) A small mushroom tells you the Princess is in Another Castle. Needless to say, the players scream in rage and attack the mushroom.

    11) You destroy the head bad guy... Then this man walks onto the screen. He says "Hallo.. My name is Inigo Montoya... you killed my father... prepare to die!" The key is to kill him quickly; the more times he repeats the phrase, the more powerful he gets.

    12) Mere seconds from defeat the AV screams that he must go train to get stronger. He teleports to another dimension where time (conveniently enough) passes extremely quickly compared to our own. The party is treated to a cut-scene training montage (complete with Eye of the Tiger soundtrack). The AV comes back.. screams in rage.. his hair turns blonde and spikey.. he then prepares to launch his attack. The bad news is his attack is an auto-hit auto-kill that would make the burning buildings in Steel Canyon jealous. The good news is it takes roughly 8 hours to charge. The party will have enough time to kill him prior; probably have enough time to eat dinner, take a nap and walk the dog too.

    13) The villain will begin a Death Monologue drawn out and melodramatic enough to make even William Shatner cringe. The party, after 20 minutes of this, will fall asleep. During their nap (and likely their players' naps too) the villain will completely regenerate and wake the heroes with an attack of his own.

    14) The villain will rip off the mask he was wearing and reveal that he was actually Old Man Simpson. He will grumble "I'da done it too if it hadn't been for those pesky kids and their nosey dog!" No further bad guys, but everyone gets a Scooby-Snack inspiration.

    15) When the body of the villain falls it actually shatters upon striking the ground. The pieces each regenerate into 2 new villains, each an EB. Each time one is defeated it spawns 2 of itself in the next lower rank. Sort of the reverse-Snaptooth syndrome.

    16) Sort of like 15 except this time each time it takes damage it spawns a minion version of itself. Damage over time makes it look like a spastic Xerox machine. There's really no limit to how many minions it can produce. It doesn't defeat the party due to numbers; it defeats them due to computer lag even more deadly than a Rikti invasion in Atlas Park.


    Oh come on, you guys should know better than to make lists anywhere I can find them.
  14. Just thought of another one..

    - When you look at the screen and realize you forgot to give your hero pants. Realizing this reminds you to put on your own.
  15. [ QUOTE ]
    QR

    I would get in touch with the Praetorian me but he's stopped returning my calls.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    That's okay.. do you have any idea what trans-dimensional phone service charges are?!

    Talk about your Roaming charges!
  16. [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]

    - Your mommy insists you call them the Heckions.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    My 11 year old calls them this, afraid he's going to get into trouble with the right name. I'm 51 - 1/2 so I remember most of the stuff talked about here, but I still play games, read comic books, watch cartoons etc, so I guess mentally I'd be considered about 17 except....

    I don't type in "l33t", and as another poster pointed out, it's the decline of society. Maybe not THE decline, but I find it...annoying to say the least...

    [/ QUOTE ]
    ooooh... good one!

    - If you sit and scream at the chat screen: "words are made of LETTERS not NUMBERS!! LETTERS!!"
  17. A few more... since I've already forgotten the first ones I put down...

    - You're amazed at the new accurate odor effects they added for the sewer zone... then you realize that's you.

    - For Positron's Task Force most people stock up on caffeine and food; you put on a fresh pair of Depends.

    - Whenever your hero face plants you immediately scream "I've fallen and can't get up!" then search desperately on screen for the Medic Alert icon.

    - The only bind you've ever made was to hook-up your 9th tier primary power to The Clapper.

    - You were the first one in your nursing home to get access to VEATs.

    - (male): You wanted to make a character who looks just like you but they don't have an Elephant Skin texture or a Liver Spot overlay option.

    - (female): You wanted to make a character who looks just like you but the boob slider doesn't have a "Down" slide bar.

    - You wanted to make a War Mace Brute and was outraged that they didn't have a Cane option.

    - You wanted to make a Robin Hood tribute character but couldn't find a face that looked enough like Errol Flynn.

    - One of the reasons you love the game is because it reminds you of the movies when you were young; no talking, just background music and printed dialogue.

    - You spend most of your time in Striga Island flirting with Stephanie Peebles.
  18. [ QUOTE ]
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    [ QUOTE ]
    Well I already have a 50 praetorian named Flame Temptress

    I would have really liked Flame Sorceress... but alas, on Pinnacle it is taken.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Well... as soon as I read this I immediately thought of an alternative name:

    Pyric Enchantress

    I didn't want to suggest it if it had already been taken on Pinnacle.

    It hadn't.

    I created Pyric Enchantress as a place holder. If you like the name just let me know and we can arrange it so I'll delete when you're ready to build her. If you don't like the name then I'll just delete her for someone else to grab since I generally don't play on Pinnacle.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    How nice! Thank you anyway but when I had created her I wanted to make sure 'Flame' stayed in the name, and that the difference would be the second word. Like how Castle said before, I wanted that noun to be more 'sinister'. Sorceress was my first choice but like I said, taken, so I went with Temptress.

    Still happy with that name and like I said, shes 50 and I've had her a long time so I won't be changing the name. Thanks for the hold though!

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Sure thing... name's released from captivity.. given a week of dry rations and a bottle of water... live wild.. live free Pyric Enchantress!
  19. [ QUOTE ]
    Every time people talk about their ages on this forum, I feel like the youngest one here.

    Write a list for me, Steelclaw!

    [/ QUOTE ]

    A list for you, hmm?

    Fine.

    Signs You're Too YOUNG to Play City of Heroes

    - Most common reason for getting kicked off a team: Extended absences for diaper changes.

    - You've had to replace 10 keyboards so far this year due to Urpies.

    - You think flash drives make great pacifiers.

    - The first thing you think of when you see Doc Delilah is "OH! LUNCH!!"

    - As a follow-up: Playing with the boob slider makes you hungry.

    - Your mommy insists you call them the Heckions.

    - You wanna play with ATLAS's ball!!

    - You don't like Wentworth's because they don't have a toy or candy section.

    - You were disappointed when you learned what CoH Skittles really are.

    - You always play a brute right before nappy time 'cause you're cranky.

    - You're upset that none of the cape options are a towel wrapped around the neck.

    - You're pretty sure that most of the Devouring Earth are under your bed at night.

    - ... and Captain Mako is in your closet.

    - The Zig and your crib both have bars.. and both are as easy to escape from.
  20. [ QUOTE ]
    Well I already have a 50 praetorian named Flame Temptress

    I would have really liked Flame Sorceress... but alas, on Pinnacle it is taken.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Well... as soon as I read this I immediately thought of an alternative name:

    Pyric Enchantress

    I didn't want to suggest it if it had already been taken on Pinnacle.

    It hadn't.

    I created Pyric Enchantress as a place holder. If you like the name just let me know and we can arrange it so I'll delete when you're ready to build her. If you don't like the name then I'll just delete her for someone else to grab since I generally don't play on Pinnacle.
  21. [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    - For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Sorry, that should read:

    "To your surprise, it won't install on DOS 2.0"

    (And BTW - when I was 12, the ONLY computer I had access to ran on an HP 2000 mainframe via a teletype terminal aat 100 baud (no K ), and was called 'STT1' (It was a Star Trek simulator written circa 1973); and I STILL don't consider myself 'too old' for CoX).

    [/ QUOTE ]Similar here. But I was 17.

    Congratulations, Steelclaw. You made me feel old AND young at the same time.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    The first computer I had access to was a Vic-20 which you connected directly to your television set. I was around 10 at the time.

    Each key had a sub-set of "graphics" on it so you could literally make graphic programs using only Print or Printtab() commands.

    I created a boxing program using stick figures in this manner.

    The memory on it was so small that anything more ambitious than an Adventure style text game would deplete it.

    It didn't even come with a disk drive... you had to use a tape recorder to save your programs... and lord forbid you forget which digit counter your saved file began at.

    And yet.. here I am... still kickin'... wheezin'.. but still kickin'..

    There's a Country Western song that sums up how I feel about my age. It goes like this:

    "I ain't as good as I once was... but I'm as good ONCE as I ever was."
  22. [ QUOTE ]
    You dislike this new-fangled Sonic Blast--we used to play REAL Sonic Blast back in the day!

    [/ QUOTE ]
    OR...

    You don't know what they're talking about with this Sonic Blast thing.. YOU can't hear a da**ed thing!
  23. [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    Actually wouldn't Castle = Fortress?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Castle is a reference to the chess maneuver of Castling, rather than to the architectural structure called a Castle. Hence my forum Avatar.

    I was actually looking for a term synonymous with "Discovered Attack" for the Praetorian name, but settled on "Checkmate" when I couldn't find anything suitable in the 2 minutes I allowed myself to look.

    [/ QUOTE ]
    Your pardon, oh illustrious red-name... But wouldn't something synonymous with "Discovered Attack" be... oh... hmmm...

    Failed Ambush?
  24. Kelly Marren : Belly Barren (no clue.. decided to go cutesy)
    Snow Bored : Steam Stoked
    Scorching Hot : Chillin' Cold
    Niao : Later (heh)
    Cloudy Thoughts : Clear Action
    Miss Givings : Miss Takes
    Loose Morals : Tight Immorality
    Tempting Bait : Repellant Prey
    Polar Energy : Solar Matter
    Dicey Prospect : Pen and Paper Surety
    Flame Dancer : Ice Wall Flower
    A Warning to Others : An Invitation to Self

    Small Dose : Big Uno
    Best Intentions : Worst Results
    Bad Cliche : Good Original
    Clooless Noobie : Educated Experience
    Carmen Aburana : Truckwomen Abu-Dabi
    Polar Abyss : Solar Ascendance
    Hapless Schoolgirl : Happed Professor
    Frigid Waste : Blazing Resource
    Pyrrhic Victory : Arcitc Defeat
    Mall Rat : Library Feline
    Little Bunny Pew Pew : Big Wolf Sweet Smell
    Cinnamon Drop : Sugar High

    Edit: Oops.. missed one.
  25. - For some reason your Windows 3.1 won't recognize it.

    - Travel Powers? No way! Even sprint makes things go by fast enough to make you dizzy.

    - You hear people complaining about Winter Event slalom racing being twitch dependent. You always thought the combat system was the same way.

    - Danged poor eyesight. This was never a problem with 8-bit graphics.

    - You think the new sound effects overhaul has provided much sharper and clearer game sounds; then you remember you trimmed your ear hair the night before.

    - You go through the tutorial every night; not for the free large inspirations or the badge... but because you've forgotten how to play the game..

    - You don't set a bind when you play the game; but you do everytime you eat cheese.

    - You can't get the game to load onto your Commodore-64.

    - You mutter "get a job hippy" every time you speak to your contact.

    - Miss Liberty needs to lengthen her skirt, Swan needs to put on some respectable clothes and Manticore needs to get a g*****ned hair cut.

    - You create a Superman clone who has Super Jump rather than Fly. (+2 Geek Cred for getting this joke)

    - The chat window takes up half your screen because of the size the font has to be for you to be able to read it.

    - Your most common reason for getting kicked from a team? AFKACFYWPAGITFP. (Away From Keyboard And Completely Forgot You Were Playing A Game In The First Place)

    - You can't play a stalker any more because when you go into Hide you forget they're there.

    - You don't understand why Brute's need to fight to build their Fury; all you have to do is watch the news.

    - You get lost somewhere between the tutorial drop off point and the trainer.

    - Every hero you create is always in black and white.

    - The Level-Up ding always takes you by surprise and triggers your medic-alert alarm for your heart condition.

    - You think that the in-game hospitals are unrealistic because the doctors aren't telling you that your face plant was all in your head.