Steelclaw

[ QUOTE ]
Sorry, it is not inevitable, nor is it my destiny. It is a very strong possibility at this point, admittedly, but it is not certain.



Not the least of which is that all my spare time these days is going toward stuff that actually earns me money (finances are problematic for us right now). Regrettably, making COH trailers does not fit in that category.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

[/ QUOTE ]

That's too bad... You are a true artist.

I guess I won't send you that idea I had for an awesome battle scene where villains and heroes team up against a new powerful mutant villain all set to the song Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden...

Ah well...



Heh

What the heck...

I16: Brought to You By Technicolor

I16: Because We Hate Your Graphics Card

I16: Epileptics Read Warnings Prior to Play

I16: Tie Dye Version

I16: Schizophrenic Rainbow

I16: The Green Lantern Mass Generic-izing

I16: Now Quit Yer Bi***ing!!

I16: Don't You Wish You'd Bought That New Monitor?

I16: Because We Know Shiny Things Distract You

I16: Not Just Red Side and Blue Side Anymore

Some others that occurred to me:

* "Marty.. I know you love being able to change the color of your Energy Blaster's powers... and the bear ears are really cute too.. but if you yell "Care Bear Stare" one more time when firing I'm going to drag you to a PvP zone!"

* I'm sorry.. I have to quit the team.. no... it's not that you disagreed with me... no it's not how you're leading the team.. but.. your defender put an orange force field around me.. and I'm wearing purple... dear gods man! You've made me CLASH!"

* Customization? okay.. here's what I want for power customization... I want my Defense Debuff power to knock pieces of my opponent's armor off them to show the debuff effect and increased vulnerability... and when I get this power.. I'm putting it on one of my villains and hunting Catgirls in the PvP zones.

* (alternate ending) ... and when I get this power... I'm going to farm Ghost Widow's arc.. over and over and over...

* (alternate ending 2) ... and when I get this power... I'm going to show people the REAL way to win a costume contest!

* Hey... look at this new bit of news from the Devs... They're going to be including a Blue Steel Task Force with Issue 16... saaaaay.. you don't think this has anything to do with the new difficulty system do you? I was wondering why they had that sideways 8 at the top end of the scale...

* Yeah... that's really cute Roy... seriously... You made a character who looks like a gorilla... and gave him spines with yellow customized colors... a banana throwing ape... I can appreciate that... but if you ask me ONE more time if I find it "a-PEAL-ing" I'm going to test the limits of your defensive set.

* I love the new customized pets! I've chosen the Thugs set but dressed them all in lavendar leisure suits... Do you think I'd get generic'd if I named myself Glad S Knight and called them all the Pips?

* Yeah, I LOVE my new Claws Brute!! I don't even have to fight them anymore.. I just show them my build... Every attack slotted with recharge and endurance redux... Superspeed's Hasten ready to roll.. and both Willpower AND Stamina... the last group of enemies I showed it to just started to cry...

* ::sighs:: he's ALMOST perfect... green mist aura... blue flames from my fire aura primary... and I have my damaging fiery aura as a brownish green wave of mist looking stuff... yeah.. but what I REALLY want is customized sound effects... it's a bummer... a nice juicy fart sound and Methane Man would be perfect!


As a side note I deleted my prior post because I went back to re-read the post from which I'd gotten the idea. Upon reading it again I realized that I had, in fact, simply rewritten the original joke in a different way.

This DUH moment has been brought to you by Hallmark Greetings. Remember, when your favorite hero Goes Rogue and becomes a villain; send them a "Hope You Get Well Soon" card from Hallmark!

Post deleted by Steelclaw

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Steelclaw wrote:

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Potential problems with Issue 16:

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You know, complainers like you that find fault with everything are why there's so much doom and gloom on the forums!

To quote Obsidious' quote, Lighten up, Francis.

--NT

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Are you being serious?

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I knew if I waited long enough this problem would resolve itself...

I must say I am disappointed in my fellow forumites. So far the announcement of Issue 16 has been met with resounding approval from you all.

Are you sick? Maybe not feeling your usual selves?

Where's the doom and gloom, people!? Fine. Normally I only list silly bits of humor and the like. But this overwhelming approval requires some sort of balance. Since the usual nay-sayers seem to be asleep at the switch it falls to me.

Potential problems with Issue 16:

Since issue 16 is looking pretty good… I figured I’d help our pessimistic Forumites out there by providing a list of things to complain about:

• What?! I thought Issue 16 was s’posed ta be Goin’ Rogue! What’s this Spectrum thingy?! Shenanigans! SHENANIGANS!!

• Blue, pink, green… so what? Until I can have my fire blaster shoot Green and Purple Plaid Flames out of his butt while Yankee Doodle plays as a sound effect in the background this isn’t MY version of power customization!

• Oh come ON! When are they going to give Stalkers Fire Aura?! ‘Cuz nothing says invisibility to me like bright orange flames!

• Umm… so I’m running the Issue 16 beta for the first time.. I figured I’d test the new difficulty settings.. jacked up both to the maximum allowed… but when I entered the mission there wasn’t a ton of bad guys.. just one.. Nemesis dressed in bib overalls… he says he’s going to make me “squeal like a pig”… umm… is this working as intended?

• I upped the difficulty to the max and the Atlas Statue just animated and threw the ball at me.

• I think there’s a glitch in the difficulty settings; I was able to manually enter “0” into all the fields and now when I just walk into the door everything in the map dies and I get the Mission Accomplished message. I wonder if this is what being Blue Steel feels like?

• We need to be able to set our personal view of other people’s powers to Standard! I just played with a guy who was running a force fields/radiation blaster with a shield of every day-glo shade imaginable and rad blasts to match. You need to either let us shut off that stuff or start supplementing my migraine medication costs.

• Okay… so explain something to me… some dude decides to run a Pink Ice Defender… and now *I* have to be the one to suffer for it?!

• Willpower can be colored? Interesting possibilities there… Blue Willpower: Can’t decide between Hefty Smurf or a Blind Soul Singer.. Black Willpower: Captain EMO!! Green Willpower: Made from 100% recycled Will!

• I don’t think my computer likes the combination of colors I just chose for my powers… my graphics card just burst into flames.

• So I have to look at other people’s choices for their power colors, huh? Most compelling argument for buying a black and white monitor that I’ve ever heard.

• Why can’t I choose Invisible as a color? I want my enemies to be confused as to why they’re taking damage.

• Hey, what’s with this disclaimer on the City of Villains creation screen? “You can now choose ANY color for your villain’s powers… as long as it’s black or a shade of red.”

• Yeah… that’s hilarious… you’re the 6th Thermal Defender today to cover me in pink fire and make “Flamer” jokes.

• So what am I supposed to call my Dark Miasma now that it’s flamingo pink?

• I shall create a dark/dark stalker.. I shall make him the shortest height available.. I shall color all his defensive powers electric blue… and I shall call him “Little Blue Fuzzy Thing” (old Howie Mandel joke reference)

Here's a freebie to anyone who wants it:

Pink costume with pink wings

Fire/Fire blaster

All powers tinted pink

The Fabulous Pink Flame-Ingo!

Awesome announcement overall!!

I find myself wondering how much they had to tweak Claws to get it to fit the Brute AT though. Claws is a very fast power set and combined with the Brute's fury damage bonus that could be... sincerely awesome..

Alt-itis... gripping me... must create ... new toons... must stop... talking .... like William.... Shatner...

My contribution to the thread...

Ahem...

In honor of the up coming week end... from the famous alien singer known as Rikti Martin..

(to the tune of Living La Vida Loca)
We’re in for an invasion, bomb drops and lightning raids
What a way to spend a week end, on our guard when space invades
It’s sure a lag sensation, frame rates will take a fall
Yeah it’s process attrition, the action slows to a crawl

They’ll leave you staring at your screen while cramps assault your brain
They’ll leave you fearing for your life
As your eyes scream out in pain
Watching battles frame by frame!

Your soul is southward bound
Living La Vida Rikti
The lag will slow you down
Living La Vida Rikti
Empaths will spam the glow
And scrappers have it tricky
They will wear you down
Living La Vida Rikti
Come on!
Living La Vida Rikti
Come on!
Living La Vida Rikti

I face plant in Skyway City at the feet of feline Mynx
She just smiled and then ignored me
I guess that’s how she gets her kinks
They never dive in solo they attack in one big horde
Ignoring all the war walls they’ll keep living by the sword
But at least we won’t be bored!

Your soul is southward bound
Living La Vida Rikti
The lag will slow you down
Living La Vida Rikti
Empaths will spam the glow
And scrappers have it tricky
They will wear you down
Living La Vida Rikti
Come on!
Living La Vida Rikti
Come on!
Living La Vida Rikti

Once again I kept a Word doc up while playing the game to jot down whatever random ideas or jokes occurred to me...

Now I've decided to torment you with them.

• Security Guards for Hazard Zones are perverts. My reasoning for this is I always have to search them with the arrow to find the proper spot to click for entry to the Zone; invariably the arrow always turns to a hand somewhere around their crotch.

• It’s a good thing we can’t be multi-classed… A Stalker/Mastermind’s pets would NEVER follow them.

• I think pets are naturally attracted to bright, shiny things… this would explain why they always kill my debuff anchor first.

• Shivans are what happen when you let the green Jell-O stay in the fridge for too long.

• Shivans have been around much longer than we think; I’m pretty sure my daughter drew a picture of one when she was 3.

• Why is that when you sneeze people say “Bless you” but when you burp YOU have to say “Excuse me”?

• Luddite Friar: “Just say NO! to the Orange Pipes of Doom!” … … Pixie Sticks?

• Ruin Mage: “Watch the horizon” … Yeah, because people always sneak up on you back lit by the sun without any form of concealment.

• Luddite Crusader: “Take a pamphlet, please.” Okay… hmmm… what we got here? “Pixie Sticks are just Kool Aid without the water”… huh… I was right.

• I want to make a Stalker who is a former news Weatherman… his main reason for being? To kill every Storm Summoning hero and/or villain in the world whether they messed up one of his forecasts or not.

• So, the power supply in Cap Au Diable fluctuates when the demon grows restless… better hope it doesn’t have a mating season coming up anytime soon.

• Now… I know I’m not that bright… but if I wanted to steal a Goldbricker’s Rocket Pack… why did I have to find a glowie in a warehouse? Isn’t every Goldbricker in Cap wearing one?

• The dual origin science/tech defense buff is called “Interdiffusion Modifier”… I think I had that procedure done the last time I visited my proctologist.

• I think if I lived in the Rogue Isles I’d open a cleaning service; specializing in blood and body removal. “This week’s special: Half off the price on removing Half Off bodies!”

• O2 Boost is a wonderful power that saturates the air around your ally with pure oxygen to heal them and boost their perception… the occasional spontaneous combustion is an unfortunate side effect.

• I tend to be long-winded with the Mission Arcs I create; they almost always go at least 4 or 5 missions. Doctor Echo however, has made me want to make a 1 mission story arc…. One where you kill him… and he STAYS dead!

• Or… how about creating a story arc that clearly states the mission objective is to “Defeat All”… then have the boss be Doctor All? And you only had to defeat him.

• I know this is Grammar Police stuff… but technically… if the mission objective is “Defeat Any Intruders in Base”… shouldn’t beating even one of them satisfy the requirement?

• Since in most video games food=health recovery; I think talking to various hot dog vendors or entering the Mexican restaurant should completely replenish your health bar.

• … then we could start calling Empaths: Short Order Cooks.

• “I know you disagree with my absolute need to have a healer on the team… I guess you could just say I’m Empathetic.” … “Drop the E and the M and you’re there.”

• You get the feeling that the guy who designed the architecture for Arachnos Bases was really into hamster tubes when they were a child?

• If you create macros to tell your Mastermind’s pets what to do… is that the opposite of Micromanagement?

• I clicked Shadow Maul and instead of doing the punch animation my character acted as though SHE were the one getting hit… Now, is that a glitch or is she just mocking her opponent?

• I got 5 recipes for range in the space of one mission… at first I complained.. but then it hit me… my opponents didn’t want them either.

• Confucious Say: Enemies of a forgetful man will be happy to remind him he forgot to summon his Mastermind’s pets at the mission entrance.

• So… the HUGE room in the Arachnos base set… makes you think a Dev said “Oh, so you don’t like the 5 layer cave room, huh? Try THIS out for size!”

The streets of Paragon City are practically deserted of heroes who now never seem to leave the AE Corps buildings. Crime is on the rise once again. Villains are everywhere and there aren't any heroes to be found.

Community Action News went out to the streets to interview citizens and get their opinions and ideas on how to handle this dilemma.

Nerd, pale from too much time spent in mother's basement: "I know how to fix it! I can hack into the AE main frame... any time a Male hero enters a program they'll find a completely empty map! They'll get so bored they'll have to come back outside to find villains.. The female heroes? Oh.. they'll go to a special map too.. the Warehouse Dance Party map.. with all the music and lighting effects... only I've hacked it to install 20 stages and about 100 brass poles.."

Sweet old lady: "We should stop paying them in influence. Nobody wants silly old influence. Instead we should pay them in baked goods! A cookie for stopping a purse snatching. A slice of pie for foiling a bank robbery. And if they save the whole world.. I'll make my secret recipe Pineapple Upsidedown Cake with baked brown sugar... just for them."

Older gentleman with too-big smile: "Don't you think they deserve a little vacation? Our heroes risk their lives every day to protect our way of life. I say if they want to take a break now and then in AE Corps then they should be allowed to do so!! Me? I'm Westin Phipps of Haven House."

Short man with funky hair: "I have an idea... how about we re-instate all the heroes who are assigned to Trainer or Task Force Duty, huh? Instead of standing around for 24 hours a day they could take down some criminals or have a real life.. limber up the ol' bow maybe... shoot a few arrows at some criminals... >sniff< maybe see their family... >sob< spend some time with the <expletive deleted> WIFE they married over a <long string of expletives deleted> YEAR AGO! HUH!? Maybe go out to a NICE DINNER or something?! Not be forced to stand there staring all day at a tall super-model in skimpy white lingerie while your WIFE IS IN A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT <EXPLETIVE> ZONE!?!"

Man in tin foil hat: "It's all a Nemesis plot man.. it's the government.. they're run by Nemesis... They created AE as a way of mind enslaving the heroes! Soon we'll all be AE slaves man! I gotta go... I'm gonna hide in my fall out shelter for a few days."

Blue Steel: "I suppose I could step away from my training duties every third Tuesday to wipe out all the criminal activity in the city.. should only take an hour or so.."

Wise-A** who looks a lot like Steelclaw: "Set up a deal between the Zig and AE Corps that has the prisoners acting as virtual stand-ins on a work-release program."

Bob: "Okay, seriously... We citizens can get shot, blown up, set on fire, dropped off buildings, held, mezzed and just about anything else and take no damage at all.. In fact, in most situations we aren't even targetable in the first place.. so... WHY do we even NEED heroes?!"

Everyone seems to be making lists about what to expect at different levels in the game. I don't want to feel left out sooooo...

[u]What Steelclaw's Characters Think At Certain Levels[u]

1st - Hero: Oh dear lord.. the Isolator AGAIN!? Villain: Devs hate Villains my a**.... Jailbird is proof otherwise.

2nd - I've doubled the number of my primary powers in just one level! If this keeps up I'll be omnipotent by the time I reach 20th!!

3rd - Slots?! These things are useless this early on... All they seem to do is make my Powers Screen look like it has pot-holes.

4th - Hey... that first level over there is conning grey to me. Something is conning GREY TO ME!! Oh yes... teh powah.... TEH POWAH!!

5th - That's right little first level Hellion.. you just go ahead and pretend that I'm not here... I know it's because you're terrified inside.. I'm not invisible.. but you're really trying to be right now aren't you? I can hear you muttering under your breath "Please don't see me... please don't see me..."

10th - Hey... why is there this funky color on my advancement bar after my face plant? DEBT!?! The hospital gave me Debt?! I thought you people said my insurance card was accepted here!!

14th - Oh thank the lord... Finally I have my travel power! Hover was taking so long I was thinking about bringing along a portable DVD for an in-flight movie.

15th - AWESOME! I get to choose my first Title... hey... Where the hell is Stud-Monkey?!?

20th - Coolness.. I finally get to unlock my cape.. Oh yeah.. the boss bought the Valkyrie pack... then there are the shoulder capes from the Vet Rewards... huh... I wonder if Statesman realizes he left a bunch of loopholes in the "No Capes Before 20th Level" Rule.

22nd - Well I can finally use SO's... too bad I've been slotting IO's since 12th level...

25th - I was excited at first about being able to enter Ouroboros... but ever since they raised such a stink about me setting up a deck chair by the pool and asking the staff to fetch me a Mai Tai my interest has sort of waned...

30th - I was more excited about Auras until I discovered they didn't have "Strobe Light."

35th - Here I am in the Rikti Warzone for the first time! This is going to be awesome! ... .... ..... What a dump.

40th - Ahhh.. my final costume slot... I'm beginning to feel a little like Liberace with these costume changes.. but I have to admit... I Look FAAAAB-ULOUS!

40th (Villains) - Ahhh... I've slogged my way up through these accursed islands... working for everyone from a mad scientist to a television set... and finally I will be able to establish my independence.. I'll get all the power and not have to answer to ANYONE! What? What do you mean "Patron Powers"?

50th - I am teh Uber! I am teh Powah! I am teh ULTIMATE UBER POWAH!! I've unlocked an Epic Class.. Now I can become Epic! Wait... What? You mean I can't actually BECOME the Epic arche-type? Oh... So what? They'll be my Slave? Henchmen? Flunky? Can they at least be my sidekick/lackey?! Don't *I* get anything for reaching the highest level?! I mean seriously! I've been set on fire, beaten, blasted, tortured, face planted and nuked more times than I can count! And for what? A slightly more fancy Level DING?! Oh what the FU....?

::Screen goes blank for a moment... sign appears reading "Technical Difficulties"::

Steelclaw's Voice-Over: Umm.... let's leave our friend to errr... celebrate their accomplishments for a while.. thanks for watching... (mutters) now where did I put that super-strength sedative?

[u]You Know Your Hero Has Fallen In Love When...[u]

* You go to the character selection screen and there's an empty space where they used to be and scattered rose petals on the floor.

* They begin berating you about not trying harder to defeat Snaptooth during the last Spring Fling for the Hearts design.

* They watch the Manticore/Sister Psyche wedding video over and over and over and over...

* Instead of beating up the street thugs they give them a hug and say "I understand your pain..."

* Flight + SWAT team smoke grenade = Sappy Message Sky-Writing

* Illusion Controller day dreams about their love interest are visible and violate the Teen Rating.

* They refuse to play until you purchase the Wedding Pack.

* They enter into a Leveling Pact without your permission.

* They're already on a Team with someone and you just logged in.

* They've thrown out their Little Black Book to prove their monogamy; unfortunately what they call their Black Book, you call your Global Friend List.

* Unfortunately Mezz resistance doesn't protect against goofy day-dreaming.

* They beat up the Costume Contest judge who didn't vote for their paramour.

* You find a forum post under your name that you don't remember writing demanding /e kiss.

[u]You Know Your Villain Has Fallen In Love When...[u]

* They begin drinking heavily with Scirroco always ending in extended crying jags.

* They carve a heart with their initials inside it in their victim's flesh.

* They make their Thug minions wear suits and ties when they go courting.

* They make their Zombie minions wear suits and ties when they go courting.

* He cancel's his membership in the Ghost Widow Fan Club.

* They are very particular about what they destroy in their next Mayhem... a news copter taking an overhead shot discovers the wreckage has spelled out "I Love DarkShade".

* They beat the stuffing out of a group of Wailers until their victims finally relent and agree to sing "Glory of Love" as background to their next date.

* After killing all the Wyvern aboard the cargo ship; they decorate it and take their love on a romantic cruise.

* Upon seeing the smile, bubbly personality and serene state of mind... every one of their villain friends think they've Gone Rogue early.

* They spend a fortune at the Facemaker trying to find just the right look to entice their paramour into loving them back.

* They demand you buy the Science Booster just in case their paramour is gay.

* They kidnap Baby New Year, super-glue a pair of wings to his back and suspend him from the ceiling as decoration for their next date.

* Both lovers are Brutes and the villain group base is completely wrecked when next you visit.

* Your Robotics MasterMind tinkers with the robots until they can transform into a bed... a bed with a vibrate feature.

* Both lovers are Mind Control Dominators... they spend the entire date just staring into each other's eyes... but they always smoke a cigarette directly afterwards.

[u]How Paragon City Prepares for Rikti Invasion Weekends[u]

* All war wall maintenance crew members go on vacation out-of-state.

* All trainers, task force granters and contacts take the "Buckingham Palace Guards' Crash Course On Ignoring People"

* The Municipal Roads and Highways Department puts out the over-time sign up sheet for pot hole repair.

* All City Veterinarians clear their schedules in preparation for the effect the Rikti bombing runs will have on the city's stray animal population.

* Wang's Wok Inn, Crawl Out Chinese restaurant clears out freezer space in anticipation of the effect the Rikti bombing runs will have on the stray animal population.

* Two-for-one "Fight Back!" sale at Mel's Fireworks and Bottle Rockets Emporium

* Local Radio Stations start their "Put our bumper sticker on a Rikti drop ship and win big prizes!" contests.

* Talos Island cancels the "Block Party on the Hill Top" yet again... To be rescheduled for Halloween.

* Azuria releases desperate press statement claiming that rumors that the MAGI vault security is directly linked to the War Wall power grid are completely false.

* Blue Steel considers taking care of the problem by himself but decides to let the kids have their fun instead.

[u] Still More Signs Your Hero/Villain is Getting Too Old to Stay in the Business[u]

* To get from Atlas Park to Perez Park he first goes to the Hollows, then to Skyway City, then to Perez Park making sure to go up every hill and on-ramp because "Dangit, that's the way they did it in MY day!"

* People start calling him "The Housefly"; not because of his superpowers but due to the way he keeps bouncing off the war walls while flying.

* An Afterlife Advocacy group of Angels and Demons start showing up every time someone attempts to rezz you after a face plant.

* Electrical Powers + Pace Maker = Forced Retirement

* Even though you're a tank you still can't draw any aggro because all your enemies feel guilty about "Hittin' the old fart"

* You're a spines scrapper and can't use your powers because the spines can't nudge through the warts, moles and skin tags.

* Statesman starts calling you gramps.

* When charging into battle your new war cry is "My Hip!!"

* Because of you they expanded the alignment list; now in addtion to Hero, Villain and Neutral they include "Senile".

* In honor of all your prior services they tried to set you up as a trainer. It didn't work out though; since by the time you described to your trainee how things were done in your day, most of his other team mates had already leveled up two more times.

* The sudden surge of power from a level up ding makes you feel like you're 83 again!

New One!

[u]Signs your hero or villain is getting too old to stay in the business:[u]

* He defeated a villain today just with his battle yell... that and the false teeth that struck them at 100 miles per hour

* Insurance company refuses to pay the extra for a reinforced walker that can handle Super Speed travel.

* As near sighted as they are teleportation becomes less a travel power and more a health hazard

* They spend enough time in the hospital to earn the day job badge but instead of caregiver or pain specialist they get "Hypochondriac"

* They can only aim Gale at enemies directly behind them... and have no control over when the power fires off.. and no awareness when it does..

* The navigation bar begins to reflect their senility; changing mission objectives every five minutes or so at random.

* Mission objectives start changing to things like: Stop Herbert from Stealing the Last Plate of Green Jell-O in the Home's Kitchen, Use X-Ray Vision While Getting Sponge Bath From Nurse Brittany and (for villains) Place Powdered Kool Aid in Arch-Nemesis' IV Bag - Shake Vigorously

* You're not forgetting where your keys are... to put on pants... who those strangers who say are your kids really are... or the other multitude of things... nope.. it's not Alzheimers.. it's a Nemesis plot

* You have superstrength... but still can't get the lid off that DANGED pickle jar!

* You're a regeneration scrapper but just your everyday ailments exceed the regen cap.

* Your sprint icon is now labelled "shuffle"

* You're a Necromancy Mastermind and all your pets are younger than you.

* You're a Robotics Mastermind and you can't get the <expletive deleted> digital clocks on your bots to stop BLINKING!!

* You go back to Cimerora and meet yourself.

* "She may be old... but I'll tell ya... Illusion Control plus Dementia makes for one crazy Party Chick!!"

* You don't have any control sets but still your story telling is an effective sleep attack.

* Just getting up from a seated position drains your endurance bar.

See?! This is what I get when I take a day off from the forums. I had to move my computer from a smaller room into my new Hooj office. I come back and everything has changed.

Congrats on the 9000... from wee-mee who is barely above 1000. I'd say I should post more often but I think I'd be run out of the forums on a rail.

Thanks for the mention.. myself and amy multiple personalities were happy to help.

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Steel, you are a Paragon City treasure.

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Indeed. I think we should gold plate Steelclaw and put him on display.

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* Can't.. because then I would be GoldPlatedSteelClaw and that's too many letters for a forum name.
* Hey.. this gold plating.. was it good quality? I only ask because now my skin underneath is turning green.
* Okay, we seriously need to go back to Steelclaw.. I completely forgot what a soft metal gold is... my first major battle.. well.. let's just say it didn't go well...
* I've had enough of this! I woke up this morning propped up on four cinderblocks and my gold claws were missing.
* I'll have to refuse... see.. I would be forced to write a new parody song of "Gold Finger" but "Gold Claws" is missing a syllable.

[/ QUOTE ]

I found a work around for you

[/ QUOTE ]
At first I had no idea what you were talking about by this... I thought maybe you had created a virus protection software that automatically eliminated me from your forum lists and PMs.

Then I noticed the GoldPlatedSteelClaw undersignature on my forum title...

Wow...

I'll resist the urge to .. ah heck.. no I won't...

You LOVE me! You really LOVE me!

Okay, now that that is out of my system... Thanks very much for that.. I am honored..

Even though the gold plating is going to make my personal insurance premiums sky-rocket.

[u]Villain Shopping Lists Part 3[u]

Banished Pantheon
* Fabric Softener... LOTS and LOTS of fabric softener
* 200 bottles of moisturizer for the Dry Chambers & Dry Husks
* Latest EMO CDs for the Spirit of Sorrow
* Gift Certificate to Ernie's Adult Books & Sundries for Spirit of Desire
* Book on IRS Tax Law Changes for Spirit of Pain
* Complete Collected Works of Harry Bellafonte for the Totem

The Cabal
* 10,000 Get Well Soon cards for Katie Hannon; remember to reduce order frequency now that "quick Katie's" are no longer so much in vogue.
* Recipe Book: 500 Recipes for Fresh Pumpkin
* 400 "Save Sally" tee shirts

Cimeroran Traitors
* Minotaur-sized tee shirt reading: "I'm not a cow.. but if you milk me you'll have a friend for life."
* 100 boxes of giant economy-sized contact lenses for Cyclops
* 50 bags of Nictus Chow
* BluRay of the uncut version of Caligula

Coralax
* Gift certificates to Sam's Sushi Hut
* Signs reading "Blue", "Green" and "Red" so color-blind players can tell the two hybrid types apart
* Soundtrack to The Little Mermaid

Devouring Earth
* Joke stickers reading "Hi! My name is Barney!" for all the Rubbles
* 25 Metric tons of E-Z Grow Fertilizer
* 10,000 small plastic ziploc baggies; for the storage of pieces from the "Special" Fungoids prior to sale and/or distribution
* Electron Microscope and Hi-Resolution viewing screen... so Hamidon can talk to its relatives
* Giant tee shirt reading "Taken for Granite" for the.. um... aw you get the joke..

The Family
* 200 gallons of Mama Lione's Marinara Masterpiece Sauce
* 10,000 metric pounds of pasta
* BluRay versions of every Godfather movie and mafia-inspired flick in existence
* "What S'amatta U." faux-college tee shirts

[u]Villain Shopping Lists Part 2[u]

Captain Mako
* 500 Tubes of Halibut flavored toothpaste
* Tartar sauce flavored "love oil" for evening with Barracuda
* 10 gauge strength steel dental floss
* Build-A-Bear tailored suit for Mister Fluffy-Fins

FreakShow
* 200 gallons of Turtle Wax
* 75 units of deoderant for Juicer Chiefs since outlaw of bathing following the Paragon Powergrid incident
* This week's issue of Rolling Iron magazine
* 2,000,000 AA batteries

Luddites
* Subscription to Amish Hotties magazine; this month is the Exposed Ankles issue!!
* Order of 500 units from Signs-R-Us... keep the receipt this time. Always remember the "Aeon's Pipe Has Penetrated a Demon!" snafu.

Carnival of Shadows
* 100 cushioned interior, floral scented buckets for new male recruits.
* 25 silk handkerchiefs for creation of 50 costumes for new female recruits
* 50 bottles of Porcelain Cleaning Solution for the masks; Boss says she doesn't care if toilet bowl cleaner is cheaper and works just as well.
* 200 silk pillows for company picnic; ensure seams have been reinforced for the Sacred Centennial Pillow Fight.
* 10 sets of tongs for removal/retrieval of failed T-back costume design attempts.

Arachnos
* 100 used sets of Authentic Star Wars Stormtrooper uniforms
* 200 cans of black spray paint
* 50 strings of ALL RED Christmas tree lights; do not get the ones that blink, Wolf Spiders complained of dizziness from the last ones
* The Little Contortionist Limb Stretching Machine for the new Tarantula Mistress recruits
* 200 pallets of Depends undergarments for the Mu Mystics; this should be the last order since the implementation of Velcro rather than belt buckles on their uniforms
* 500 cans of hair spray for the Fortunata (well, why do YOU think their helmets are that tall?)
* Copies of the latest musical CD, Arbiter Sands: Live from Las Vegas!

Ghost Widow
* Ghost in BluRay
* Renew subscription to World Obituaries website; remember to put flag on Sean Connery
* Visit all Sean Connery's fan sites; buy any items that actually belonged to him then test for authenticity. The spell calls for close personal effects ONLY!
* 500 lbs of Janitorial Vomit Clean-Up Powder for invaders who couldn't handle the Tilt-A-Whirl Hold Attack.
* 600 Automatic Air Fresheners for Wretch's room

Wow.. this was a surprise!

I would like to start out by saying that I absolutely, in no-way-shape-nor-form requested this or even expected something like this. I have sneaking suspicions regarding PK's ulterior motives for doing this..

1) Pure popularity push; padding post production by pillaging puns & pundits from pre-history.

2) Everyone's tired of seeing Steelclaw, Steelclaw, Steelclaw in the author's list and... since they can't seem to shut the fool up.. they'll at least keep him confined to one thread.

But, for whatever reason, thanks for the idea. We'll give it a roll and see how it works. The only thing I ask about my new room... why are the walls padded?
[ QUOTE ]
Hooray! also SC, i suggest you make a lists of villaingroup's shopping lists sometime, no need to thank me for such a brilliant idea full of potential

[/ QUOTE ]
Interesting idea.. okay.. to cristen the thread with my first official HLT... I'll respond to the first request in it.

And I'll thank you for your "Brillian idea full of potential" if I danged well feel like it!!

Thank you.

Ahem...

Hellions -
* picante sauce for gang's pot luck supper
* bactine
* 200 metric tons of asbestos
* stickers to indicate how many pets are inside in case of building fire
* 2:00pm appt with insurance adjustor to discuss why home insurance premiums are so high

Skulls
* Bone-be-Bright mask polish
* Gift baskets for first time superadine purchasers
* Kinko's- print out 200 pamphlets on "How far away to stand from vandalized car when it explodes"
* 25 "I Love Kings Row" tee shirts for new Bone Daddy promotions

Vahzilok
* Ultra-Laundry Detergent : Gets out even the toughest stains
* 500 pair of Custom black leather Depends - at least until Doc Vahz can fix that "Back flow" problem from the projectile vomiting
* 10 body bags - was listed at 100 but have decided to recycle old ones due to budget constraints
* $60,000 worth of Taco Bell gift cards - for replenishment of supply when the Abomination's run out of "Juice"

Lost
* Digital converter boxes for tv-helmet heads
* 50 refrigerator boxes as part of new recruit enticement package
* The new Rikti Martin CD
* First season of Lost on blu-ray... (this is crossed out on the list with the words "Show not about what we thought!" written to one side of it.)

Circle of Thorns
* Ghost Busters soundtrack as gag gift for Roy's birthday bash
* 75 fog machines; 50 gallons of green mist-dye
* AVIS Maps to Forgotten Cities and Lost Civilizations

Council
* 200 "I Visited the Issue 15 Task Force and all I Got Was This Lousy Tee Shirt" Shirts
* 500 giant economy sized flea and tick collars
* Deluxe Tanning Bed for Vampyri - KEEP THE RECEIPT!!

Clockwork
* Super Glue - guaranteed to keep your head firmly attached!
* 200 yards of Hamster Tubing for inside those of us carrying Gears
* Isok's Preserves Jars and Supplies - try to find one big enough to house a human brain & pair of eyes.

That's a good start... may come up with a few more later..

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
* Strange you should mention that... my Lady Love is always telling people "don't encourage him... if you do he'll never stop..."


[/ QUOTE ]

Man, I know exactly how you feel. I've debated wearing shin-guards when we go out on dates, just to avoid all the kicks under the table from when I say something that's apparently embarrassing or inappropriate.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well.. when she and I first started going out I told her:

"You think I'm funny NOW.. but a year from now we'll be at a party and someone will say to you 'oh, he's SO funny.. living with him must be hilarious!' to which you will reply 'oh yeah, 24 hour a day jokes.. yeah.. real hilarious.'"

I was wrong though...

It only took her 3 months to reach that point.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
he had more in him -_-

[/ QUOTE ]
... well, Steelclaw has a lot of SOMETHING in him, but...





[/ QUOTE ]
* ... and yet my garden will never go unfertilized.
* Why do I get the sneaking suspicion you aren't referring to charm, intelligence and personality? Well... maybe personality.
* Hey, it wasn't my fault! I drank too much... the aliens abducted me... magic was in the air...
* Strange you should mention that... my Lady Love is always telling people "don't encourage him... if you do he'll never stop..."

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Steel, you are a Paragon City treasure.

[/ QUOTE ]

Indeed. I think we should gold plate Steelclaw and put him on display.

[/ QUOTE ]
* Can't.. because then I would be GoldPlatedSteelClaw and that's too many letters for a forum name.
* Hey.. this gold plating.. was it good quality? I only ask because now my skin underneath is turning green.
* Okay, we seriously need to go back to Steelclaw.. I completely forgot what a soft metal gold is... my first major battle.. well.. let's just say it didn't go well...
* I've had enough of this! I woke up this morning propped up on four cinderblocks and my gold claws were missing.
* I'll have to refuse... see.. I would be forced to write a new parody song of "Gold Finger" but "Gold Claws" is missing a syllable.

[ QUOTE ]
Steel, you are a Paragon City treasure.

[/ QUOTE ]
* Oh, so you're saying those guys who broke into my apartment last night weren't thieves; they were treasure hunters?
* That explains the "X" shaped birthmark.
* Is THAT why there are always pirates hanging around me?
* Yeah, I know... and if ONE more person tries to bury me again!
* Now I know why my lady love had to pay capital gains tax when she got me.

Oops... sorry.. it's an instinct.. Jus' can't resist da list.