Steelclaw

Synapse (Mwa-ha ha haaaaaa...)

1. What is your favorite word?
"Synapse"... actually it's "SYYYYNAAAAAPSSEE!!!"... screamed in anger and frustration the way Countess Crey does every time I run by and snap her bra strap at mach 2

2. What is your least favorite word?
"Already?!" Spoken in tones of disbelief or condescension by various ladies who have graced my bed.

3. What turns you on?
Static Electricity... no joke... It must react with my electric powers somehow.. it's gotten so bad I have to be real careful not to drag my feet on carpetting... Who's bright idea was it to make super suits out of spandex anyway?!

4. What turns you off?
Women who want to talk afterwards... mostly because it's my performance they always seem to want to talk about.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Countess Crey's screams of outrage... I swear.. every time I hear it I can't stop smiling for a week or so afterwards.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Well... I'm not sure what it is exactly.. but sometimes after a lady friend and I spend some time in bed.. they sneak off to the bathroom.. I don't mind that so much.. but the buzzing sound that comes from behind the door always keeps me from going to sleep.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
All of 'em... when you have superspeed you can say all the swear words in one long sentence and have it come out sounding exactly like a censor's bleep. It seems appropriate somehow.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Gigilo. 90 customers per hour... I'd be RAKING in the cash!

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Lab Rat. Been there. Done that. Bought the tee shirt.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Here... Take this pill... it makes Viagra look like a placebo."

Statesman (yeah, I know the Dev left.. but the hero is still there right?)

1. What is your favorite word?
Patriotism! A word that is sadly lacking these days if you ask me.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Communism. Dang, I miss the Cold War.

3. What turns you on?
Marilyn Monroe wrapped in the American Flag... what?! NO! I mean Mom's Apple Pie.. yeah.. that's what I meant! Can we edit this tape?!

4. What turns you off?
Brezhnev's eyebrows. >shudder< Or maybe Gorbachev's map of Australia on his forehead.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The American Anthem... the sound of the flag flapping in the wind... the screams of Miss Liberty when I made her see fireworks on that one fourth of July... wait! Stop tape! Are you SURE about that editing thing?!

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Right now? The sound of that danged tape machine.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Good Americans don't curse. Unless you're talking about fascists... those f**king b****rds..

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
American Soldier. Rifle in one hand and American Flag in the other!

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Travel Agent... why anyone would want to leave the U.S.A. in the first place baffles me.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"No, no... it was never based on RELIGION... it's all about your political form of government! And representative democracy won by a landslide!"

Let's get this one over with.. Blue Steel

1. What is your favorite word?
Infinity. Sometimes it's the only one that fits.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Limitations.

3. What turns you on?
When the moon is at a certain angle to the equator the gravitational forces are high enough to cause pulses in the electromagnetic fields around the Earth, setting up a harmonic that causes subtle vibrations through the earth's crust.. to those sensitive enough to feel it.. it's like the whole planet is a vibrating bed and someone just slipped in a quarter.

4. What turns you off?
Plots that Nemesis THINKS he snuck past me.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
There is this woman in Japan who sings Japanese Opera... she has the most exquisite voice. Sometimes I just stand in Kings Row and listen all day... MP3 player? No... I said I just LISTEN all day.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Anything that follows "Chuck Norris once..."

7. What is your favorite curse word?
I'm sorry.. I can't tell you out loud... the last time I did caused that whole Big Bang problem.. and look what came of THAT.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I've already tried them all... successfully... well.. I haven't yet tried.. no wait.. just did it.

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Out of all the things I've done in my life... I would be least willing to be a political speech writer again... That is the closest I've ever come to being evil.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Oh, hi! I've been keeping your seat warm for you."

I'm just warming up... Hmm... Back Alley Brawler I think... (same old tired Hero not Dev crud)

1. What is your favorite word?
No... As in Just Say No... And not because I thought Nancy Reagan was a fine lady... though she was...

2. What is your least favorite word?
One.... cause One is the loneliest number there could ever be... Oh, and Galaxy City isn't among my favorites either... and let's not forget Atlas Friggin' Park..

3. What turns you on?
Halle Berry reprising her role as Cat Woman... no! Wait.. as Storm... no no no... BOTH! Storm and Cat Woman.. fighting over Back Alley Brawler... then they agree that such a man can not possibly be satisfied by only ONE woman... so then they.. um... er... what was the question again?

4. What turns you off?
Realizing half way through an answer that I'm saying my interior monologue out loud.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Skulls cracking... Joints breaking... that solid beef sound of a fist crashing into muscle... it's all good brother... it's ALL good

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Whining... I mean really.. take your beating like a man..

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Mutha-$%*@... it's like two for the price of one... slam the dude and his mom all in the same phrase.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Flower arrangement

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Shoe salesman... foot odor totally grosses me out

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Sorry.. no time to relax... I'm going to put you in charge of security."

And again.. only this time we'll go with Manticore (once more.. the hero.. not the dev)

1. What is your favorite word?
It has been this one since the day I finally revealled to everyone that I'd been a spy rather than an actual turncoat... it's "Surprise!"

2. What is your least favorite word?
Headache. Every man in a relationship hates this word; but when you're married to a powerful psychic it takes on a WHOLE new meaning.

3. What turns you on?
Well.. this one time Swan wore this outfit... OUCH! Umm... I mean.. my wife... my lovely, lovely and oh-so-forgiving wife!

4. What turns you off?
Swan apparently.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
TWANG!

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of an arrow missing its target. Unless it hits Statesman by "accident"... then it's friggin' hilarious.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Ambutmaneckmahali. It's not a real word.. but it sure gets some interesting looks from people when I say it.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Long distance acupuncturist.

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Wretch's dermatologist.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Found out we didn't have a back entrance, huh?"

Okay... So let's start with Positron (the hero, not the Dev)

1. What is your favorite word?
After all these years in this danged suit? "Bath"

2. What is your least favorite word?
Well.. after listening to people complain endlessly about my Task Force.. my least favorite word is "long"!

3. What turns you on?
About 100 rads (think about it)

4. What turns you off?
Valkyrie's spear

5. What sound or noise do you love?
The Whoosh sound when they finally opened my armor for the first time after my cure. The lack of screaming from doctors not dying from radiation poisoning was nice too.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Rikti invasion sirens... for some reason that really grates on my nerves.. go figure.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Meltdown... yeah.. it's kind of lame.. but I would PAY to get a recording of Burt Ward saying this... "Holy Meltdown Batman!" heh.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Underwear model

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Anything where I have to put things in cans to "preserve" them. >shudders<

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Welcome Positron... and by the way.. Heaven is "Clothing Optional"

The following is for ME... not an answer of Respite's challenge.. I'll get to those in a bit..

1. What is your favorite word?

Time - It's my favorite because everyone is obsessed with it in all its various forms; yet it is an imaginary word. There is distance.. and there is motion... but on a physics standpoint.. there is no such thing as time.

2. What is your least favorite word?

A very derogatory term for a piece of female anatomy. I cringe every time I hear it and have (on several occassions) simply walked away from a conversation when I heard it uttered.

3. What turns you on?

Imagination. I live in a fantasy world most of the time. When I find someone who can meet me half way.. who Warps in the same direction I do so to speak... then I have finally reached Nerdvana.

4. What turns you off?

Ignorance. The ignorance of unreasoning prejudice. The ignorance of stubborness to the point of disassociation with reality. The ignorance of willful disbelief. The ignorance of expecting everyone to behave according to YOUR personal belief system.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

Laughter. Hands down. There is no greater sound.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

Uncomfortable silence. Silence on its own is wonderful... but an Uncomfortable Silence is like trying to breathe with your head shrouded in plastic wrap.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Flubba-Tawuggit. No joke. This was a curse word I created to censor myself around my kids. Now I use it all the time. Try it out sometime... It's a great way to turn a tense situation into an absurd one.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Well.. I don't really HAVE a profession at the moment. What I would love to do is get my book published. Or the book I'm working on now. I suppose you COULD say writing is my profession... but I haven't gotten paid for it yet so technically I'm not a professional at it. I guess I still have my amateur status.

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?

Economist. I'm too much of an optimist.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Come on in, we've been waiting for you.

I recently (about 3 months ago) deleted all my characters and started over from scratch so I could incorporate all the new rules in the past 4 or 5 issues into my spreadsheets for my own personal tournament..

Yeah.. I have issues... like we all didn't know that already..

Anyway.. since I have very strict guidelines for creating new characters to introduce into the tournament I now have exactly Five of each non-epic AT on both sides of the alignment fence.

As far as Origins go.. I'm not quite so balanced:

Magic: 17
Mutation: 8
Natural: 8
Science: 8
Technology: 9

Total Play Time (as though I were sitting at the computer playing without stopping) for current tournament:
2 weeks
3 days
16 hours
45 minutes

Males: 26
Females: 24

Back on topic...

The Devs Hate...

<ul type="square">[*] Controllers - "I don't even know why they calls 'em Controllers in the first place! It's not like they control anything! Oh, sure they hold 'em or put 'em to sleep or such. But the action is so slow and BORING! I near fall asleep myself watchin' those Zzz's driftin' up from someone's head. I want CONTROL powers! I want to hypnotize my opponent an' make 'em do the chicken dance emote. I want to make Lord Recluse use his spider arms to knit a sweater. An' I won't even TELL you what I'd make the Carnival of Shadows do."
[*] Defenders: "How can you not believe the Devs don't hate Defenders? They have the offensive capability of a jellyfish in the desert. Every other AT in the game can solo without too much difficulty; but Defenders? Heck, most of their powers only affect other people!! And lord forbid you're wanting to play when there's no one on line. If they REALLY wanted to buff Defenders they'd give them ability to FORCE other players to team with them! Click on another player and select Defender Aid; which automatically puts them on Follow and teamed with you for the next 2 hours."
[*] Blasters: "I know what you're thinking... How can the Dev's hate Blasters? Great downrange damage, pretty good controlling secondary and Nukes for 9th tier power... Yeah.. I used to think the same way... Right up until I PLAYED ONE! Come ON people... What sense is it to have such great offensive capabilities and then fall over dead when an enemy cuts a medium power fart near you?! Yeah, it's SO much fun to see your health bar fall faster than the NASDAQ. And it that weren't bad enough.. let's give Blasters a lot of AoE attacks to draw the Aggro of every bad guy on the map plus a few distant relatives! Or better yet... POINT BLANK AoE so you have to be standing right in the middle of them! Ah crud... I'm frothing now.. gotta go take my meds."
[*] Scrapper: "The Devs HATE Scrappers... Really... They have lukewarm defense and ... snrkt... and their offense isn't as good as... &lt;snicker&gt;.. and what about those spine bananas? heh... ah-Ha... BWA HA HA HAAAA... I'm sorry man.. I just can't say it with a straight face... The Devs LOVE us Scrappers... we have it all.. Hey TANKER! Willpower is nice enough.. but oh! Look at this.. I have Willpower and Regeneration too! I have a statement we Scrappers would like to release to all the other ATs... ahem... Neener neener neeeeeeener!"
[*] Tanks: "Now, don't get me wrong... I love being a Tank... all my team mates love me... I not only save the lives of the citizens of Paragon but a lot of the heroes as well. But.. that's when I'm on a team. It's when I'm alone that I begin to realize the dark, ugly truth... .... .... The Devs hate Tanks... I mean, I don't die or anything. But it takes so LONG to whittle my opponents down until they fall over. Yesterday I cleared a map in record time though. The battles were taking forever right from when I first walked on the map. Then I had to rest between each and every fight because my endurance bottoms out after the first two minions. I've got Rest triple slotted for Recharge Reduction. By the time I got to the second floor of the office building I wasn't finding Hellions anymore... I was finding post-it notes saying things like 'Bio break, back in 10' and 'Got hungry, went to Mall's Food Court for burritos'... You know, they don't give you a mission-end bonus for those kinds of victories."[/list]

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Would you find it a good comprimise to make all TFs and SFs only require 3 people ???

I think that is a reasonable half way point on the TF/SF/Trial matter.

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Personally I would much rather see scalable rewards on the TF/SF/Trials. If you perform it with a team that meets the normal requirements then you get full reward. If you perform it by yourself or with a smaller team the rewards will also scale back.

You still get the badge for completion; but the reward merits, end-of-mission xp and inf bonus, etc will be substantially less. This will also be further affected by the difficulty level you set and any other restrictions you may choose.

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People who feel entitled to abuse others, simply because they can.


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What is that old saying about glass houses?



.

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They make taking a shower a community event?

They make migrating birds highly entertaining?

They make you want to buy stock in Windex?

They make earthquakes a much more exciting proposition?

They make sunny days suddenly much less enjoyable?

They look sharp?

They make your family the neighborhood's favorite soap opera?

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You want to know what I hate? I'll tell you!

<ul type="square">[*] Being stuck in traffic

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At last! The real reason there are so few cars in Paragon City and the Rogue Isles! When Castle wants to go somewhere he doesn't want to have to fight traffic.

No Wait!! We have it here first folks! Castle is the one who came up with destroying cars in Mayhem missions! He hates other drivers so much he jotted down their license plates and make/models so he could replicate their slow moving vehicles in Mayhem missions!
[ QUOTE ][*] Meetings that are non-productive

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This explains why Contacts refuse to talk to you anymore once they don't have any more work for you to do.

Why do I get the feeling Castle's walls are filled with Dilbert comic strips?
[ QUOTE ][*] People who feel entitled to abuse others, simply because they can.

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Major upcoming Villain nerf.
[ QUOTE ][*] Sudden loud noises

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This explains why the damage sometimes flashes above my character's head some 4 or 5 seconds before the attack sound effects occur. Castle just wanted plenty of advanced warning.
[ QUOTE ][*] Temperatures below 50f and above 80f -- drop both by about 15f if I'm trying to sleep!

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Major nerf in the pipes for fire and ice sets. Said nerfs will also cause damage reduction during game night time hours.
[ QUOTE ][*] Insomnia

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Sleep attacks will be buffed beyond belief in both accuracy and duration. There will be no resistance allowed vs sleep attacks by either players or NPCs.
[ QUOTE ][*] Bad ideas -- especially when they are mine!

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You must really be hating the fact that you decided to post all this then... heh.
[ QUOTE ][*] Bitter food

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Castle to become vegetarian once he realized all the cattle, pigs, chickens and fish he'd been eating all these years might have been just a wee bit bitter about the whole "slaughtered so humans can eat us" thing.
[ QUOTE ][*] Embarrassing Situations in Sitcoms -- I literally have to change the channel or leave the room to avoid seeing the characters humiliated at times.[/list]
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Actually... I'm with you on this one.. it's one of the reasons I only watch about 1 hour of TV each week.

Oh... and... Castle advocates heavily censoring the Villain's Television contact. Any Villain embarassment resulting directly from a Television mission will now grant the player experience points, infamy and drops in Compensation.

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People who feel entitled to abuse others, simply because they can.

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Is abusing one's self tolerable?

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OOoooh... Well.. I don't consider my little parodies to be ABUSE per se... I'm just poking gentle fun is all... laughing WITH you.. not AT you..

Umm...

Say... why can't I log into my game account all of a sudden?

I'm not sure I can see them all crammed into a single character. Each horseman has a different job within the team; much like PUG members.

Of course, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would be the PUG to end all PUGs... Pun intended.

Okay, so let's not go all four, let's divide them up 2 and 2.. Stay with me.. I have my reasons.

War and Death most obviously go together. As do Pestilence and Famine. Excellent; we're on our way.

War and Death are out and out offensive; they do damage and that is all. Pestilence and Famine are your hardcore debuffers. They don't do damage directly; they weaken an opponent until they can't even breathe anymore.

So... War and Death... the most common theme associated with both is Fire. Fires of War is practically a cliche. And death is often associated with fire religiously for reasons of purification or ascendance to a higher plane.

Famine and Pestilence are powerful debuffers, as I've mentioned before. So we want a set that strongly weakens an enemy.

Fire/Radiation Emission Controller.

I would also suggest making him a Dual Build so you can divide responsibilities between the two sets. The horsemen of the Apocalypse ride flying steeds so Flight is a must for the travel power. They work alone, they don't lead others, so forget leadership. War creates battle and conflict, he doesn't lead armies or glorify generals who do.

They walk unseen... so Concealment would be a good Pool set from which to draw. I might also suggest Presence to represent sheer force of will.

tl;dr version: I agree with enrious2

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What, nothing about how they hate PvP?

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Steel couldn't make a joke out of that, because the Devs actually do hate PvP.

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Wait a second... Steel COULDN'T make a joke out of that?

Uh-huh.

Ahem...

The Dev's Hate...

PvP: "We ALL know the Devs hate PvP... I mean SURE they spent all that time and effort trying to tweek it here and there.. but the PvP zones are still empty as an IRS agent's heart. Don't they realize that PvP should be the cornerstone of every MMORPG in existence?! Don't they realize that if players can't attack other players and grief at will then eventually NO ONE will be able to have any fun in-game? Heck... the only place I can go for some really decent PvP is the FORUMS!!"

I’ve been around the forums for a little while.. not nearly as long as some of the crustier veterans… but long enough to have seen a few trends here and there. One of those trends that has almost become tradition is the lead-in statement: “The Devs hate…”

Most commonly we see it as “The Devs hate villains” but I’ve also learned that they hate heroes, players, attending Cons, not attending Cons and being fooled by Cons.

Hmmm… let’s explore this, shall we?

The Devs Hate…

Villains: “Of course they hate villains! Every issue comes out with new Hero content but do you see the same thing villain-side?! NOooooo! That and look at what they make villains do! Rob banks! Kidnapping! Why they even make villains KILL PEOPLE! I tell ya, every time I run my favorite villain the NPCs on the screen cringe away in fear… some even run! If the Devs keep making our villains commit crimes every time they turn around soon EVERYONE will hate them!!”

Heroes: “Not that they did at first. It was those danged villain-pushers who eventually made the Devs hate heroes. Stalkers get buffed ‘cause they complained about it so much. Dominators get buffed when THEY became the squeaky wheel of choice. Why I bet the Devs don’t even PLAY heroes no more. Everything the heroes DO manage to get the villains get too these days. &gt;sighs&lt; I feel like the oldest child who moved outta the house and had their bedroom changed to a Jacuzzi by mom and dad.”

Power Customization: “Now don’t you tell me that Issue 16 is proof that the Devs don’t hate PC. Color changin’? That ain’t customization; that’s a can of spray paint and a bare wall! New animations for martial arts? Ooooh… I get to kick ‘em or punch ‘em now… I want a CHOICE dang it! I want my martial arts scrapper to grab someone, wave my hand up and down in front of their face while their head jiggles to stun ‘em.. then hold my fist out that they smack so it whips around in a circle and bonks ‘em on the head.. my cone AoE should be a wide arc slap that paintbrushes three or four of ‘em.. oh.. and my 9th level tier? Fork fingered eye-poke… If I can’t have Three Stooges Style Kung Fu… then we’re not talkin’ Customization.”

Power Proliferation: “They hate it. Absolutely hate it. Oh, they’ll give it to us here and there in dribs and drabs… but they probably chew out their own livers to do it. They said we’d get some every issue… yeah right. By now we should not only have every power in the game for every archetype… we should have powers proliferated in from OTHER games! I want my Broadsword Blaster to have the Master Sword! I want my Street Fighter Defender to ShoRyuKen Lord Recluse to debuff him! Dang it… I want my Controller to be small, pink and round and have his power set be Appetite Control!”

The Players: “They hate us. Don’t fool yourselves into thinking they love us. All the jokes and issues and such? All a plot. They hate us players… they just love our money. They provide a fun time… a lot of stimulation… a little company maybe… all for our hard-earned cash. Folks, that sort of thing is illegal here in the United States… well… except for Nevada. The real kick in the posterior is that… judging by the end-game content… they don’t even give us the grace of a Happy Ending.”

Puppies: “The Devs are unfeeling monsters who hate puppies. Kitties too. Probably ponies, squirrels, orangutans and duck-billed platypus to boot! How do I know? Because there ain’t a single animal in the game! Well, that’s not true… there are sea gulls. Which would seem to indicate the Devs hate the paint job on your car too!”

The Human Body: “I swear I don’t know how they walk down the streets. Must wear blinders or keep their hands pressed over their eyes. When *I* walk down the street I sure as heck don’t see anyone who looks like they coulda been made in the CoH costume creator! I see some people who mighta chosen their OUTFITS from it… but no body matches. I wanna be able to run my neighbor Phil… he’s got a beer belly.. more shoulder hair than Bigfoot… a previously broken nose that seems to go off at right angles and legs so bowed you can’t help but imagine a horse ‘tween ‘em. Oh, and to really make it an accurate representation I’d need the Toxic Gas power set… but I won’t get into that here.. the Power Customization guy gets itchy if you steal his thunder.”

Travel Powers: “They only gave us four! Four different ways to get from point A to point B. An’ don’t give me that rap about the Mission Transport or Pocket D VIP port or all that… They’re all just the teleport power re-packaged. I want web-slinging! I want a motorcycle that leaves trails of radioactive ooze after it! I want a thundering steed! I want to open a portal to an alternate dimension that’s filled with hallways of doors. Each door leads to a different place and, unless you have a map, you can easily end up lost. You give me that… and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to find the door to the Playboy Mansion.”

Farming: “No one can deny that the Devs hate farming and farmers. Look at the lengths they go to in order to stomp it out! MA is the perfect example. I don’t understand why they want to stop it! If I could farm without restrictions… why… I could experience every power in every archetype in the game in about two or three months’ time. All that without ever experiencing any of the content, story lines, characters or heroic/villainous feelings that would establish a rapport with the game and develop a relationship with the characters I’ve created. Heck, I could burn it all out in two months and then finally move on to a completely different game rather than continue to invest my money in this one. &gt;sighs&lt; I just don’t see what the Devs have against farming.”

Wise-Acre List Makers: “Okay, maybe they DON’T really hate these people, but this would have been the obvious response by a Dev who read this thread. Not that such a thing is too likely… but I’ll still say they hate ‘em… as sort of a pre-emptive chess style countermove. On the other hand… maybe they really DO hate Wise-Acre List Makers… maybe that’s why they won’t return my calls… I bet THAT’S why I always get Map Disconnects right before I attack the boss that will complete the mission! And why that one lime green pick up truck keeps driving by the front of my house reeeeaal slow every day. They’re watching me! Where’s my tin foil hat? WHERE’S MY TIN FOIL HAT?!?”

Paranoia: “The Devs hate paranoid people. ‘Cause we know what they’re up to.”

Mission Architect: “Oh, they didn’t hate it at first. The industry gave them rave reviews for such an innovative feature. The players all lauded them for the wonderful gift they were receiving. The Devs absolutely adored MA when they first presented it. Then came the farmers. Then came the inappropriate arcs being created. Then, if level and reward farming weren’t bad enough… the badge farmers had to be stopped. It got to be more of a pain than a pleasure for the Devs. Yeah, the Devs hate Mission Architect… I imagine they feel the same way about MA that some parents do about having gotten their teen ager a brand new drum set… a drum set the kid loves SO much he insists on playing it until three o’clock in the morning.”

They probably hate a lot more... and I may add some later... but this is enough to get started on... anyone else have some thoughts about what the Devs may hate?

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Isn't Naylor Jamaican or British?

Amusing. I don't get the Arbiter Sands one.

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Arbiter Sands is an obvious Elvis impersonator.. And I believe The Sands was the Vegas casino he played at in his declining years. His personal ad was nothing but Elvis song titles.

But then again.. if you have to explain a joke... well... ::sighs::

Anywho..

* Hamidon - Single celled organism seeks single celled organism for asexual reproduction and heavy mitosis.

* Television - Lonely mass media device seeks companion for some late night programming.

* Serge - Smartly dressed male seeks other for good times; male or female... I go both ways when it comes to making you look ... and feel... FABulous!!

* The Facemaker - Single female seeks partner... Personality is key! Appearance is (or at least will be) flexible.

* Back Alley Brawler - Very lonely... nearly forgotten really.. male in Galaxy City... you know Galaxy City right? Looking for companionship, long talks... hell... I'd settle for the occassional glimpse of someone who isn't an NPC! For Pete's sake I'm dying out here! Are we sure Coyote is still even OFFERING Galaxy City as an option?!

* ForeShadow - Single male hero seeks old soul with which to reminisce about old times... say ancient Greece or perhaps Feudal Japan... oh! And wasn't the Tigris-Euphretes river valley a blast?!

* Infernal - Single male seeks understanding, patient woman for friendship and possible long term relationship. Understanding and temperance a must! Please be accepting of an... alternative lifestyle. Must love pets.

Mynx - Single feral female seeks alley cat for midnight caterwauling... belly rubs and extended purring sessions. No drinking, no smoking, occassional catnip. Any mention of Cheeseburgers will get you clawed.

Positron - Single male seeks female for long, involved, seemingly endless date that will take us to several distant locales. Let me introduce you to a multitude of enem... er... interesting people. A date with me will seem to last forever. I promise!

Serafina - Genie seeks intelligent male for nice conversation, long romantic evenings and friendship. Attempts to "rub my lamp" or "grant ME a wish or three" will not be tolerated.

Blue Steel - Single male seeks female tank with invulnerability. All applicable defensive powers must be slotted to the maximum with damage resistance; ED or no ED. Important: Invulnerability MUST be both external AND internal!!

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Um, Steelclaw, you realize that Ms. Liberty is Recluse's Grand-niece? (Though honestly, Longbow makes me think that she probably IS his type ...)

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Err... Oops? That piece of lore I must have missed... I'll take care of it... thanks for the info!

Even heroes and villains get lonely… These are a few Personal Classified Ads from some notables of Paragon City and the Rogue Isles…

Note: Some of these are a little old, so they may pre-date current relationships.

Silver Mantis: Sexy adventurous woman seeks Dual Build for fun and excitement. 1st build must be a Brute to show me escalating good loving. 2nd build should be a Tank for when I love you back.

Arbiter Sands: A Boy Like Me, A Girl Like You… A World of Our Own… Walk a Mile in My Shoes… My Blue Suede Shoes… You’ll Never Walk Alone… Love Me Tender… Love Me Tonight

Black Scorpion: Single man seeks woman who is able to see past his exterior armor to the soft, gentle man inside. If you’re willing to put in the effort to get past my walls (and own an industrial strength can opener) you are sure to be rewarded.

Captain Castillo: Pure magnificence is what you’ll experience on our first date. Unbridled adoration and, dare I say, worship is promised from the moment we first lay eyes upon each other. But don’t let it frighten you… all women react that way when they see me.

Captain Mako: Single male seeks human female for dinner.

Countess Crey: Single, professional woman seeks Super Hero or Villain for long nights of experimentation. My schedule does not allow for much dating so a first round elimination process must occur. Please send a description of your powers/abilities and a genetic tissue sample to the below address. I shall contact you if you make the cut.

Dominatrix: KNEEL SCUM!! If you are now kneeling having simply read this, please leave a message with your contact information in my Personal’s mail box.

Dr. Aeon: Brilliant and dashingly handsome scientist seeks fair damsel for long romantic evenings and scintillating dinner conversation. I shall take you to dinner where I shall keep refilling your wine glass when its only half empty. Then a nice play, but a naughty one with nudity and passionate love scenes. After the play I shall take you to a bar where the drinks shall flow aplenty! Then it’s back to my “lab” where we’ll… wait... I seem to have described my entire plan including the parts that should definitely have been kept secret… that and if I have this printed it will likely cost me a fortune.. charging by the letter rather than the word… and they call ME an evil genius… I’d better think this through before I decide on how to phrase this… I’ll call back later &lt;click&gt;

Dr Vahzilok: Single male seeks a woman with 30 inch long legs, including a 12 inch circumference thigh, blue eyes (at least one), thin nose (not too long), three inch long middle right finger, size 8 foot (NO HAMMER TOES!!) and shoulders approximately 23 inches in breadth. If you match at least one of these requirements please send me a message! I’m undying to meat you.

Ghost Widow: Female seeks transparent male for mutual haunting.

Lanaru the Mad: Dog entrails! Monkey brains smeared on chalk boards as unholy sacrifice to the clown gods! Cataclysmic concertos played on the infernal organ in the deepest pits of marmalade!! Oh… and long romantic walks on the beach. Call me!

Lord Recluse: Single man seeks co-ruler for world domination. Applicant should be a red-head, love wearing green skin-tight clothing and "mentally strong." She should also be willing to kick the midget to the curb for a real man. Oh, Arachnophobics need not apply.

Mother Mayhem: Single woman seeks open minded male for long therapy sessions.

Nemesis: Single male Emperor of the Earth seeks loving female for help with world domination plots and romantic invasions. Please be well-organized and capable of multi-tasking in a high stress environment. Ambition is a must! Do not bother sending a resume or calling, I have been watching you for several months now. This ad was simply a means of letting you know I shall be contacting you soon.

Scirocco: Lonely, troubled male seeks understanding and compassionate female for long evenings spent reading poetry and listening to emo music. If you are looking for a sensitive man who isn’t afraid to cry, then you’re looking for me. Females with emotional baggage of their own more than welcome. No fat chicks.

Clockwork King: Penelope Yin, why aren’t you returning my calls?! I tried contacting you psychically but the astral operator says you now have an unlisted silver cord! What have I done wrong?! Please, call me!

The Goddess Hequat: Goddess seeks mortals for worship and subjugation. Males or females not important. Interest in bondage and restraint a plus! Virgins of suitable age may be eligible for our “Fast Track” program!

Tub Ci: Artist seeks unblemished female for evenings of art and ink. Please be a non-smoker with an interest in tattooing but no current artwork on your canvas.. er.. flesh. If the idea of being the first woman to try my new magical “Erogenous Sigil” tattoo excites you then please leave a message in my voice mailbox.

Tyrant: Demi-god seeks heroes wishing to become villains or villains wishing to become heroes. Don’t bother leaving a message, all applicants must appear in person here in Praetoria.

Vanessa DeVore: Single female seeks EVERYTHING.

Wretch: Wretch seek lady Wretch can touch without Wretch’s hand going through.

Agent Six: Single female seeks Agent Nine. (think about it)

Azuria: Magical single female seeks security expert.

Athena Currie: Single female seeks living, breathing flesh male. I’m tired of having to satisfy myself with clockwork parts.

City Representative: Single female seeks a man who will actually remember her name after the first date.

Citadel: Male android seeks female for light mechanical work, polishing of parts, lubing of moving pieces, revving of engine and testing of load bearing limits. Conversation not required.

Coyote: Single male hero seeks EXPERIENCED female.

Doc Delilah: Single, professional woman seeks man for nice evenings spent in conversation and possible romance. Friendship first. Doesn’t have to meet me eye to eye but has to at least realize I HAVE eyes.

Haley Phillips: Middle aged woman seeks man for nice conversation and romantic evenings. Man in question must be monogamous and NOT leave me for some bimbo in a harem outfit!!

Jim Temblor: Young man seeks level-headed woman for fun times and adventures. Woman must be sensible and thoughtful, must not rush head-on into dangerous situations.

Julius the Troll: Single male seeks female for mate. Must be good. Must not be bad. Must not take Superadine. Must know all words to “It’s Not Easy Being Green.”

Mender Lazarus: Jenny, this is Lazarus, I just wanted to tell you last night was incredible! Oh, actually that would be your month from now, wouldn’t it? We haven’t actually met but I am deeply in love with you! That thing you’ll do with your tongue… incredible! Unless by mentioning this I actually change the time line… hmmm… You know what? Just ignore this. I’ll catch you later… sooner… whatever.

Percy Winkley: Seeking Fusionette. I don’t know why… but I get the feeling we were MADE for each other!

Synapse: Fast talking man seeks sexy lady for quickies. Really really quick quickies. If you love sprinting on the beach and love cats, then I’m your man! A willingness to wear latex is a definite plus. Not because I’m into that fetish, but as a safety precaution in case of … er… “accidental electrical discharge.” Scientists NEED NOT APPLY!!

That's enough for now. Feel free to add your own... I'll likely put in some more of my own once I've recovered from this last bunch.

Edited: To remove inadvertant incestuous ickiness.

heh.. nice ones... very nice..

Okay... I can swing a few Praetorian Versions of existing in-game goodies...

Ahem...

* Dual Spoons Power Set - Good against Hellions, Skulls and All You Can Eat Buffets

* Talons Power Set - Like Claws but with your feet... I really suggest you take flight with this one.. The Plummet Dive attack looks very stupid from normal jump height.

* Steam Armor - The opposite of Ice Armor... Operates a lot like fire aura but without enemy's pesky fire resistance getting in the way.. just forget about ever seeing what's on the screen again.. visibility is cut to about nil

* Air Armor - Opposite of Stone Armor... You can't move the air or control it.. you just have to rely on Air Resistance for protection.. yeah.

* Brain Dead - Opposite of all Psychic Powers... Not nearly as exciting as it sounds.. you'll certainly catch up on your sleep though.. and you will NEVER need to get Stamina

* Storm Prediction - The antithesis of Storm Summoning.. you don't get any powers but you DO get experience points for correctly predicting the weather in various zones. Now you can level from 1 to 50 just by standing in Atlas and spamming "Today will be Sunny with 0% chance of rain; heavy fog in is expected in Dark Astoria..." in broadcast over and over and over again... those of you who search for AE teams should have this sort of thing down to a science

* Slow Reflexes - This goes beyond the simple defense self-debuff... now when you try to turn a corner while running there will be a 10 second delay before you actually do it.. entertain your enemies and team mates alike! Invent new swear words on the spot!

* Whipped Cream Defense - Tired of Invulnerability? Cover your body in whipped cream and sally forth! Is it a defense set? Is it a Costume Piece? Is it a tasty dessert topping? Who knows! (Side Effect of this power: Female's with this set automatically have the boob slider moved to maximum)

* Anti-Gravity Controller - Hit them with this power and watch your enemies float away! In buildings the hilarity ensues as they bounce hard off the ceilings! But the real fun is in street sweeping.. sure you may not get xp or credit for your enemies until they hit the outer atmosphere and asphyxiate.. but hey! it's worth hearing their fading screams right?

* Inert Emission - Tired of people giving you a wide berth because you're radioactive? Not anymore! Now you can emit inert radiation.. things like body heat or luminescence! Sure you can't do damage with any of this stuff.. but at least your friends will no longer have to put on lead aprons just to give you a hug!

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Sorry, it is not inevitable, nor is it my destiny. It is a very strong possibility at this point, admittedly, but it is not certain.



Not the least of which is that all my spare time these days is going toward stuff that actually earns me money (finances are problematic for us right now). Regrettably, making COH trailers does not fit in that category.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

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That's too bad... You are a true artist.

I guess I won't send you that idea I had for an awesome battle scene where villains and heroes team up against a new powerful mutant villain all set to the song Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden...

Ah well...

Heh

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A lot of folks have asked me to make videos for them coz they have spiffy ideas - only problem is, they usually want me to make them for free.

*rueful laugh* Maybe I should have the forum take up a general collection - "Pay D_R to Make a Trailer for I-16! Donate a dollar and get your name in the end credits... donate five dollars and your toon gets a cameo... etc etc etc"

Yeah, right.

Michelle
aka
Samuraiko/Dark_Respite

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I would normally say "Establish a price list on your web site" as I know that many people would be willing to pay for the videos they've thought up. Indeed, web comic artists and other on-line artists do this sort of thing all the time. Art by commission is a time-honored tradition.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure you could do it legally. It would be different if you were creating your own characters/images/animations... but these videos use the City of Heroes engine and properties. At the very least you'd have to get NCSoft's permission to make a profit off your efforts.

That minor detail aside however, you have talent... and most people in our lovely Capitalist society would agree that you deserve to be paid for your efforts with that talent.

On the other hand, no one would, does or ever will pay me for one of my lists.

Sometimes I can't even give them away.

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“Little Blue Fuzzy Thing” (old Howie Mandel joke reference)

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Howie Mandel told jokes? Were they funny?

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Oh yes. Especially when he started improvising.

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The skit-in-question... at least as well as I can remember it.. realize that Howie did this "in character" with an odd voice (which I can reproduce perfectly.. heh.. yeah.. I do voices too.. My Alvin and the Chipmunks always makes people stare at me tho')

My name is Ernest... and I am one of Santa's Helpers.. and I am going to sing a christmas carol for you.. (points to an audience member) and you...

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me.. one of those little blue fuzzy things..

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me.. two of those green things with a piece of wood through it.. and that little blue fuzzy thing..

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me... three black mushy things... and two green things with a piece of wood through it... and I had that little blue fuzzy thing..

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... Nothing 'cause she died..

(crowd laughs)

That's not funny... she died... I was all alone.. and I felt so empty inside.. I had nothing left.. and I looked over yonder at my dresser...

Yonder was my dog and he was on the floor so I looked OVER Yonder at my dresser.. and everything I had in life was on that dresser...

I had three black mushy things.. and two green things with the piece of wood through it..

(after a bit of silence the crowd inquires about the little blue fuzzy thing)

I don't know where I put it.


Hmmm.. actually ignore that... it loses a lot in the translation.. if I ever meet you I'll do it (with voice) myself... maybe I'll throw in a Bobby joke for free (or at least minimal additional charge)

One more...

I16: Whoa.. Colors... What the heck was IN that drink anyway?

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So, on one of the few times when everyone is happy and everything is looking positive, you want a negative reaction?

I can handle that for you.

Why is it that when things go well, somebody has to start a thread with a back-handed insult against anyone who ever had a concern in the past, as if any previous worries or complaints were entirely rabid and unreasonable? Isn't insulting the imaginary opposition also in and of itself a negative thing? Didn't your own actions actually get the negativity started in the first place? But of course, the thread is filled funny stuff, so any actual pessimism on the part of the OP is apparently justified.

Not that I feel that way myself, but I just wanted to hook you up. Enjoy.

Lewis

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You misunderstand..

I love the people who complain about the game.

I love the people who adore the game without ever questioning it or seeing any flaws at all.

I love the flaws in the game itself.

I love the perfections in the game.

I love the people who take the game too seriously.

I love the people who don't take it seriously enough.

I love optimism, pessimism, realism, schism and several other isms to boot.

I love the devs, the players, the supporters and detractors, red side, blue side and the upcoming Going Rogue Purple Side.

Why do I love these things?

Because I love to find the humor in things... and all these things are RIPE with it.

Now... if you think I'm laughing at you... You're wrong... What I'm really... REALLY trying to do... is laugh WITH you.

Psst.... hey Mac... I got a great deal on a name generator for ya...

Yeah, it's a real beaut... top of the line an' everything..

's called the Human Brain... an' if ya buy right now I'll throw in a software package called Imagination... no extra charge.. jus' cause I can tell you're a good kid...

Uh oh.. here come the cops... gotta split.. look me up later.. I'm on this corner often..