Steelclaw

Ironic... but I finally got around to futzing around with my Science booster today and I can't find the power to clear the map anywhere... is it supposed to be in the Inherent Powers list or have they hidden it somewhere else?

The coolest thing I've done with the science booster?

* The neck bolts are a gawdsend! Now my Necromancy Mastermind doesn't have to worry about his creations' heads falling off anymore! Avoiding the awful "lost your head" puns from his team mates was worth the price right there.

* Finally my character Bruce Banned-er can be all I envisioned him to be! Now that I can create a Huge body type as well I can make him.... say... how come this Generic character is in Bruce's parking spot?

* I created a bind so my Huge bodied Mad Scientist in lab coat and the works, drinks the serum and transforms into this tiny female pixie looking thing. The bind ends with "him" falling to "his" knees and weeping while screaming "Awwww <BLEEP>!!"

* I immediately cleared the Atlas Park map when I got the new power. I've been playing the game for over two years but.... Did you know there's a zone called The Hollows attached to Atlas?

* I turned my cat into a cat-girl. It's not as good as it sounds actually. I thought cleaning the litter box was bad BEFORE.

* I used my Science Booster Pack on my Magic Origin character and now he's trying to disprove himself.

* I tried to create a Mad Scientist but the Scientist Defamation League is pamphletting me for perpetuating a negative stereotype.

* What did I do with it? I boosted my Scientist of course. Now she's talking wedding invitations.

Dark Respite has proven her capabilities many times over with her videos. They speak louder than words as to her technical skill and should be resume enough for the position, should the Devs wish to consider her for such.

However, what *I* would like to point out is her love for the game. The fact that these videos have been offered for so long without compensation or even the expectation of such is mute testimony to D_R's love for both the game she plays and the art she makes. As a writer I am more than aware that love has to fuel art.

In my humble opinion, the Devs would have to be mad to pass up the opportunity Dark Respite represents. It is not often that you find a person who has both a talent and a passion for a job; D_R combines the best of both these traits.

Hiring her as a contracted videographer for new releases and features would be a perfect fit.

Signs of a Rough European-American Forums Merge?

This thread apparently...





Oops.

Well.. they rolled back that patch from the other day due to crashes... maybe they just fixed the problem and re-published it?

So I’ve heard a rumor… somewhere… that there is another super hero MMO or two on the horizon… I did a little research and discovered that this is more than just a rumor… Soooo… I did a little MORE research and would like to share my findings with my fellow Forumites.

Reasons why you shouldn’t play those OTHER hero games:

• One is based off a pen and paper game and rolling computer generated dice will never have the flair of rolling real ones… for example you can’t spin ‘em to see how long they go before they drop!

• The developers of one game kick puppies. The developers of the Other game kick puppies while wearing steel toed boots. (the developers have the boots… not the puppies)

• Rumors of acrobatic travel powers have been confirmed; what hasn’t been leaked is the vertigo and motion sickness caused by the graphical representation of this. The other game’s developers instantly responded to this problem… they all bought stock in the Dramamine company.

• Neither of these games have Blue Steel.

• During a panel of one of the developer panels someone asked if the player would be able to play along side or against such heroes as Uber-Super-Duper-Pooper-Scooper-Man. The developer said “yes” to that one. But when I asked if we would be able to get our characters powerful enough to meet ol’ USDPSM on even ground the Devs all got to laughing so hard one of them spewed a whole can of Coke through both nostrils…

• Rumors of them incorporating Big Red Ball are FALSE! In the demo the ball was CLEARLY maroon!

• I have investigated the Off Line Costume Creator one of them is offering. What I am going to do with 10 square yards of yellow spandex and a sewing needle I have no idea.

• Rumors that you will be able to use any power you want out of the gates are FALSE! Spontaneous generation of various deli meats in a multitude of forms and sizes is STILL not available. So much for my plans to create the Lunch Meat Legion.

• I figured out what to do with the yellow spandex and sewing needle. Now I’m under investigation for being a Public Nuisance and the local chapter of the Pikachu Fan Club has filed a restraining order on me.

• Rumors that you will get to create your own life-long Arch-Nemesis are true… however you can NOT control when they appear or what they do. After the 10th time your enemy shows up at the end of a 20 mission story arc and forces a mission fail and loss of rewards… you may start re-thinking the whole “it’s nice to have a mortal enemy thing.”

• The marketing campaign to push the whole Nemesis system is innovative… I’ll give them that… but having a paid actor show up dressed as your characters enemy at various social events in your real life is going a bit too far. I heard the bride in that one case just isn’t buying the whole “I had nothing to do with it” line from her former groom-to-be.

• Besides… NO NEMESIS plots like OUR NEMESIS plots.

• There’s nothing like creating a character from Krapton and bringing them under the influence of earth’s yellow sun… and discovering that despite every ounce of comic book lore on your side that would certainly win you a thrilling victory in any court of geek law… you STILL have to start out at level one power and work your way up.

• I have to give them props though… the cake was NOT a lie…. But it still tasted like s**t…

Edit: I would like to add this small note to those people who either don't know me that well yet or who think the new games being introduced is a very serious subject. This post is meant entirely as a joke and/or parody of the other.. more serious.. "other game" posts out there. I have not played the beta versions of any of these games, I have not done ANY research to substantiate anything I have said above.. I have done what I usually do when I make these silly little lists... I sit in front of my computer with a Word Doc up and let my mind wander and see what it's dragging in its mouth when it returns. I personally only have one reason for my lack of desire to play other games: Loyalty to this one.

Dear lord... now I've been serious in one of my own posts... ugh.. I need to go bathe.

I'll /sign this but go a bit further... I think she deserves to get into the closed beta not just because of what she COULD DO for the community with the creation of a video but for what she's ALREADY DONE.

She has already given so much back to the Forum Community and the gamers here with no expectation of reward... not even tickets (be they reward, vanguard or AE)!

In my opinion certain people here in the Forums deserve PERMANENT Closed Beta invitation status because of the contributions they have made to make this such a fun place to be and return to again and again...

Dark Respite is in the top 3 of this list... in my humble opinion.

My 24 month vet reward is currently a month overdue... I petitioned it 3 days ago and still don't have it nor have I received a reply. It is somewhat discouraging.

Well.. the European boards and American boards have joined… and while I have strong and highly optimistic hopes that we will all get along phenomenally… I do believe it is wise to discuss potential problems or bumps in the road…

So… here is a short list of Warning Signs The Forum Transition Isn’t Going Smoothly.

• Some of our friends from England start referring to American Forumites as “Colonists.”

• Unfounded accusations towards the Germans that they broke the 5th Column.

• Arguments about the proper spelling of words like “Armor/Armour” or “Color/Colour”…. …. Oops.

• The British refuse to acknowledge our mastery of Monty Python quotes.

• Fast food advertisements, links to naughty web sites… The Official Color of Praetoria is white.. which gives us red, white and blue sides to the game… oh dear lord they were right! The forums HAVE gone to the Americans!

• All forum contests must now have a judge representing each country involved… and the Romanian judge STILL won’t give any other country higher than a 6.5 out of 10!

• When Britain hosts Royalty-Con ’10 next to no Americans show up. When the Germans run Oktober-Con two weeks later they have to turn ‘em away at the door.

• Pressure mounts to allow costumes specific to individual countries and the devs give in to it. English flag designs begin to appear everywhere in Paragon. French fashion make the lady heroes and villains look ooh la la! And still no one will wear German lederhosen.

• The Germans completely take over Pinnacle, both in game and in forums.

• The French eventually get tired of being asked to cater every Forum get together or reunion.

• On Pinnacle, the French can be recognized by their insistence on saying “Here, hold my wine.”

• Americans steadfastly assert at the top of our lungs that our game methods are better, our costumes are more stylish, our market savvy is eons ahead… the older countries shake their heads and pray that we’ll come out of national adolescence sometime soon.

• The Canadians start getting surly at how many times they have to insist “we’re not a frickin’ American Suburb!!”

• The Australians insist that… Dundee and Irwin not withstanding… not every Aussie has the word “crocodile” worked into their name somewhere.

• The Australians REALLY get peeved when the suffixes for multiple people having the same name change slightly to… Bob_NA… Bob_EU…. Bob_Crocodile.

• CNN reports on “rising hostilities among allied nations” after a troller thread from the forums is e-mailed to them.

• The Swiss take one look at the Clockwork, sniff and mutter “amateurs.”

• The world is rocked when it’s revealed that… after Going Rogue is released… the most popular AT in Vatican City is MasterMind Demon Summoner/Pain Domination.

• In rapid response the Catholic Church releases a press statement where the Pope unequivocally renounces the MasterMind rumor… as he believes Dual Pistols is “Totally bada**”

• Forum dares get TOTALLY out of hand… Big Ben’s face bears the legend “Blue Steel was here”… In Milan the Last Supper has its attendees replaced with members of the Freedom Phalanx… The historical remnants of the Berlin Wall are painted blue to resemble War Walls… A sign is hung above the doors of Notre Dame stating “The Cathedral of Pain Trials Have Been Temporarily Suspended”… the famous Sydney Opera House is altered to look rather similar to the old Super Friends cartoon’s Hall of Justice with the word “GENERIC’D!” painted across it… aaaaaand… Five thousand gallons of green paint make the Statue of Liberty appear to be wearing Sister Psyche’s outfit.

...


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I got nothin'.

It has been brought to my attention that my list is incomplete... so here are a few more:

• Back Alley Brawler: After 10 minutes of standing in Galaxy City without a person around him for training he will begin to do occasional Sigh emotes. Ten minutes after that he will pull out a harmonica and begin to play a sad Blues song upon it. 30 minutes of harmonica playing later he will break down and start crying. When someone interrupts the crying with a request for training BABs will grab them up in a huge bear hug and laugh with pure joy for 2 minutes before finally letting them down and training them up.

• Blue Steel: First the police drones surrounding this area should all be removed. From this point on if any villain approaches the training area Blue Steel will gesture and one of the following random effects will occur: A) The villain will scream as a hole opens beneath them, demonic hands appear and jerk him down into the netherworld.. one demon pops out and pays homage to Steel begging him to never return to hell to destroy them in exchange for this service… B) The villain is surrounded by a halo of light… they get a beatific expression then do a costume change emote into a Longbow or PPD uniform… C) They spot Blue Steel and run to him… doing the We’re Not Worthy emote for 24 real time.. so there will always be a large crowd around him doing so… D) Enemy turns into a pig… runs squealing.. is trapped by a falling cage… a privacy screen appears around the cage… sounds of chain saws and shadows move on screen… man walks from behind screen and hands a small something to Steel saying “Here’s your ham sandwich sir”

• Castle: Sitting at a table with a chess board set up atop it. Various other heroes can be brought in to play him or it can be a random person. Castle cheats throughout.. telling the other player “Hey! Is that a Rikti Invasion?!” and switching the positions of pieces.. asking passing player heroes for advice on what move he should make, etc… when (inevitably) he loses he sets fire to the board and pieces in a huge explosion… his chat bubbles filled with nothing but #%$(*# symbols.. the hero he was playing will leave in disgust.. a little while later another one passes by and the process starts all over again

• Infernal: Mostly conversation, as every 10 minutes or so a small demon will run from some distant point to stand next to him. You only hear Infernal’s side of the conversation however. “I left the stove on this morning? Did you shut it off? Of course you didn’t… Why don’t you try that?” …. “Morty called you a bad word? Did you ask him to stop? Oh my. Well, get a plunger and see if you can get his head out of the toilet… NO I don’t think he needs to apologize first…” …. “No, I don’t think hellfire is a good way to remove stubborn stains from the carpet… What do you mean you wish I’d said that earlier?”

• Luminary: Hers will also be pretty much exclusively chat bubble action. She surfs the web as she stands waiting for customers. “That’s odd… It says it’s detected a virus on my system… but I just DID diagnostics this morning.” … “Someone named Tiffany sent me a message? Click the link… ACK! Visual memory erase! VISUAL MEMORY ERASE!” …. “Note to self: Only use Rooster and Cat as search words… do NOT use alternatives on the world wide web.” And… finally… every so often she will hiccough and a beam will project a small hologram of a female in a white dress… the female will say “Help me Obi-Wan, you’re my only hope…” over and over… Luminary will thunk herself in the side of the head and mutter “I have GOT to track down that danged file and delete it someday.”

• Proximo: Will randomly start posing down and doing flex routines. Ladies will gather around him which he will ignore, despite their holding up 10s in the Judge emote. A man in leather skirt will walk by and Proximo will wolf whistle.. the man will promptly run screaming.. Proximo sulks for an hour then the process restarts.

• Ravenstorm: Throughout the day he will randomly scream “Eureka!” and surround himself with an impenetrable shield of dark energy. It will be impossible to speak to him during this time. After about 4 or 5 minutes the shield will explode outwards with terrific force doing major knockback but no damage to those around him. He will mutter “too much sulfur… gotta remember that next time.. Waaaaay too much sulfur..” for several minutes before calming down to normal behavior.

* "ONE! Singular sensation... Every single step she takes!"

* The impromptu police line up didn't work as well as they'd hoped as the heroes realized just how alike some of these gang members looked.

* "OKAY! The guy running... the guy dancing... the guy grabbing his groin... you're out! Simon didn't say!"

* "One... two... three... RED LIGHT!"

* The line for those wishing to go to a Zone other than Perez Park... ANY zone.

* "Okay fellas... The next contest is the 'Look like a panic-striken civilian' competition.. when I give the signal start running around as though one of them had just seen YOU.. best imitation gets a prize."

* In today's headlines: Two High Level Villains Arrive In Perez Park Today For Autograph Signing

* The Where's Waldo fan club in action.

* "Talks break down between the Backwards Baseball Cap and Non-Backwards Baseball Cap Hellion Union representatives."

* "Heroes skeptical of Hellions' assertion that it was a non-violent protest when most of the gang members bring guns."

So DJ Zero approached me the other day with a complaint that his club just wasn’t seeing the player numbers that he wanted. He asked what he could do to make Pocket D more exciting and a greater draw for the off-duty hero or villain.

I came up with a list of possibilities… feel free to add your own.

• Teleporter Malfunction: That teleportation suppression system he has on the club? Let it malfunction every so often. Randomly sending people to a whole host of different places; the Shadow Shard, Psychic Clockwork world, the DMV, a world made of nothing but candy… maybe even Hell itself… oh wait.. I already SAID the DMV.

• Privacy Rooms: Hey, this is supposed to be a singles club, right? How are heroes and villains who hook up supposed to have some intimacy time together? They can’t very well say “let’s go to my place… oops.. that’s right… you’re not ALLOWED in my place”.. I suppose they could go to a PvP zone… because nothing sets the mood like knowing your nookie time may be interrupted by an enemy bent on blasting you to bits.

• Gratis Gravity: The whole building floats in a void so we know there’s artificial gravity. Every so often… shut it off. And let the rules of momentum rule! If you REALLY want to have some fun… set all the walls with Repel so everyone in the club is ricocheting around like pinballs.

• Punishment Night!: Every other week or so invite in one of the most annoying characters in the game (Fusionette, Nemesis, Crimson, etc) and put them in a dunk tank. 10 influence a ball for water, 100 influence a ball for boiling water, 1,000,000 influence a ball for acid. The proceeds could even go to charity! It’s a win-win situation all around!

• Nude Hamidon Wrestling!: Sort of like Jell-O Wrestling but inside Hamidon… because Hami is sort of like Jell-O… kinda… aside from the digesting thing… and the sentience… umm… never mind.

• Dancing Contest!: We have costume contests, so why not dance contests? One person plays “leader” and stands on the stage in front of every one else. They select a dance emote and everyone has to match that emote within 5 seconds or be eliminated. This continues until the last person remains. They are awarded the White Leisure Suit and Heavy Gold Chains costume sets.

• Life-Like Bar Effects: Let us drink at the bars! Give us a “drink” emote where we take a slug off some liquid or another. Drinking however puts you under a cumulative debuff that penalizes accuracy and also slows you down. In addition it causes your character to stumble around like they were under the stun effect. Ready to go out and fight some more and don’t want the debuff on you? No problem! Just do the Vomit emote and you’ll be as right as rain.

• Monkey Madness!: The monkeys got loose from the fighting cage! The only problem? They’re EBs and AVs whose primary attack is Fling Poo. Oh, and anyone caught NOT helping catch them has to help clean up the club after the battle.

• Karaoke Night: Rig up the system so those with microphones on their computers can sing and have everyone else hear them over the net… The best part is you can always claim it’s your character who sounds like a wounded animal being put backwards through a meat grinder… not you!

• Restrooms: How about making the restroom doors actually open? I mean seriously Zero… who wants to go to a drinking club where they know the restroom never works? Those people aren’t dancing from foot to foot because they like the music.

I know not all my jokes are good ones... and I realize some people don't like a list format for their humor needs but... er... I didn't think it was THAT bad...

My last Vet reward of 21 months was given to me back on April 7th... Which, if I am doing my math correctly, would seem to indicate that I should have gotten my 24 month reward sometime around July 7th...

Nope... not there yet.. last one I have listed is still my 21 month.

So I go to my account information with NC Soft and there it lists my 21 month reward on April 7th, 2009. And it shows my 24 month award will be given out on...

September 30th, 2009.

Ummm... huh? Now, I don't claim to be a math wizard.. but assuming someone hasn't been messing with the time/space continuum... shouldn't that be my 26 month reward?

This is what happens when you put Ouroboros Offices in charge of the Vet Reward program.

Top Ten Features That Have Not Yet Happened In CoH

1) In Game Honeymoons: We have had in-game marriages and even got the Wedding Pack to buy. Now how about the next logical step? Let's put Stamina to better use!

2) Suburb of Heroes: Take 2 parts Sims and 1 part CoH and you get Suburbs of Heroes. You want to make the Son or Daughter of your favorite character? You want to REALLY get into the whole Day Jobs concept? Would you just love to get into building a deluxe model base? Here's the answer!

3) Random Missions: The monorail gets hijacked while you're riding from zone to zone... Some civilian you rescue while street sweeping asks you to do one more favor... An enemy you just defeated while sweeping had some random lead on him... Okay, so this one's not funny.. but it's still a pretty good idea.

4) Chat and Bio Automatic Spell Checker: For the love of all that's holy... PLEASE!

5) Farmer's Market: If you do the same mission more than once... if you run a mission that has only 1 specific type of enemy... if any player camps by the door... In short if you farm... you get no xp, no inf, no rewards... what do you get? Vegetables... lots and lots of vegetables.

6) Customization Overload!: Character customization needs to take a lightyear leap forward! No more choosing faces; we want to choose individual features! Select nose, mouth, right eye, left eye, right upper incisor, place freckle at facial coordinate 712,315... Oh my GAWD?! Is that a gray hair?! Initiate plucking sequence!

7) Uber-Epic-Gigunda-Major-Infinite-Mega-Archetype: Epic just isn't good enough anymore. It makes no sense that my god of war, death, pestilence, famine, root canals, taxes, and fluffy bunny slippers has to start out at first level like a common hero! I want an AT that starts out at 50th level and has ALL the powers available! And as for its inherent...? Nerf Resistance... Lots and Lots of Nerf resistance.

8) Multi-Class: I'm an RPG player! I'm old school AD&D dungeon master and player extreme! I don't want to play a freakin' Fighter... I want to play a half-elven Fighter/Cleric/Mage with access to the Rogue skills. I don't care if my hero advances about as quickly as a glacier on a slow day; as long as I can run my Tank/Blaster/Defender I'll be happy! I can always Farm to get past the early levels... hey... what's with all these vegetables?

9) Hero Patrons: I LIKE the villain patrons.. and hero patrons make a heck of a lot more sense than the villain ones do.. since we all KNOW how well those villains get along with being told what to do. The other great reason to do this is because we can see how the Devs handle creating the Blue Steel patron powers... Do they stick with the standard canon or do they venture into the Chuck Norris forum perception?

10) Cross Overs: Every comic book company in the world has had cross-overs with the competition. Superman has fought the Hulk, Batman and Spiderman have squared off dozens of times. Well... I want my cross-overs! I want to see how my claws/regen scrapper stands up to Wolverine! The closest I've come so far is a PvP battle against Generic 001 234 567!