-
Posts
1961 -
Joined
-
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hold it, hold it!
*suspicous* Is this a kissing story?
[/ QUOTE ]
I don't believe I'm giving up any major spoilers when I say "Yes, probably." I'm not really certain what the term means, but I can guess
[/ QUOTE ]
It's a _The Princess Bride_ reference. I probably shouldn't assume it's as popular overseas as it is in America. *heh*
(On the outside chance that you haven't seen it, the story of the movie is ostensibly being read by a grandfather to his sick grandson. The boy interrupts at one point when things start looking suspiciously romantic, since he was promised sword fights, giants, kidnapping, adventure, etc...) -
Is there a deadline for registration?
-
Hold it, hold it!
*suspicous* Is this a kissing story?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If only I could find out who took my pod from the desert of ash...
[/ QUOTE ]
D'oh!
[/ QUOTE ]
How long do you suppose until Tommy figures out that it was his new girlfriend who took it?
Tommy: "You had it in your BASEMENT the WHOLE TIME?"
Sarah: "You called it a 'pod'. A pod is something with peas in it. How was I supposed to know you meant a big silver ball?" -
Nah, Cuddles. Let it inspire you instead. I've noticed that it takes just one really good story to get a whole bunch of people off their butts and posting their fan fiction. It sort of tapers off until the next one comes around, and there's another flurry.
Tell the story you want to tell. That's what it's all about. Comparing it to a different story is only useful if you're hoping to learn something from the contrast. Blue_battler is "tapped into" the signature characters. His talent is showing facets that haven't neccesarily been explored before. This story is an excellent example of that.
YOUR talent is probably something else. Your "muse" is different. Let it lead you to tell YOUR stories. Follow your muse and don't get bogged down in trying to rate your "quality" versus someone else. Heck, tell YOUR stories, and let that be enough. If anyone else happens to like them, that's gravy. -
[ QUOTE ]
The fact that a confrontation, which could have been a climax under different circumstances, is treated in a rather off-handed manner is all the more engrossing to me, because if something that could have been filled with emotion is given very little, it will draw attention, and thus significance to the moments where emotion is actually displayed. That's the foundation of good drama, yes?
[/ QUOTE ]
Yes, but I want it right now!
I think it's fair to say that in the overall story it's a pivotal event rather than a climactic one. As you say, the actual climax should be that much more compelling when it arrives. -
[ QUOTE ]
I've never been to a game related convention, but I live near seattle. Is the PAX worthwhile?
[/ QUOTE ]
If you're a serious gamer (meaning you'd happily spend 12 hours playing games with/against 1000 other gamers in the same room) and you're not claustrophobic (meaning that you don't mind sharing space with 10,000 other gamers for 16 hours) then, yeah, it's worth it, from what I hear.
I may change my mind about avoiding Pax proper. Several of the panels are looking interesting. Of course, that means competing for a seat with the 1,000 other gamers all trying to get in (or all 10,000 other games when it comes to topics like Spore or Fallout 3).
PAX Schedule -- Exhibit Hall Map -- If you didn't pre-register, the cost is $30 for one day or $50 for three days. PAX Home
From the look of the map, NCSoft has a space that rivals most of the other industry heavyweights. So, do we know which NCSoftees will be manning the booth? Are there any special announcements being planned for Pax, CoX-related or otherwise? I gotta agree that "Kicking @r$e at Pax" is an intriguing panel title. -
When someone takes the time to critique one of my stories, I take as a compliment that they felt inspired to put the energy into doing it. Not everyone feels that way, I know.
I'm looking forward to seeing the conclusion. I do think that what you've got here is the makings of a pretty good fantasy novel, aside from the little niggling fact that one of the protagonists is a superhero. *heh*
Good luck with the nose. My wife had nose surgery several years ago, so I've got some idea what that's like (vicariously, but some).
-
Let's stay on topic, please. The hardsuit disguise has its own thread in City Life.
-
A bit of criticism here about the "voice" of your story more than about the story itself.
I like the ideas being explored in this story. The dual viewpoint is interesting. I'm not so crazy about about the whole "first person, no dialog" delivery. I have a feeling like I'm going to get to the end and I'll have read a synopsis of something that should have been expanded into a novel.
A better way to put it, perhaps, is that we readers are getting the benefit of Tommy's viewpoint (since he's relating past events) without getting the benefit of any of the experiences that led him to form those views.
What was it in the "duel" in the tower that got his attention and formed that first tentative bond? What soured him on the people he was leading? Why the cynicism, and why the conviction that his enemy is really his only peer and his new conviction that she is the one who really needs saving?
The story so far has been entirely an intellectual exercise. I don't believe that Tommy could have reached his current views based on an intellectual experience. He had some cathartic emotional experinces that led to this, but he isn't telling us what they were, or at least he is describing them so clinically that we readers have no chance to share the experience. We're left with just general effects that they had on his thinking.
The same can really be said of Grimwall, but it's more forgivable in her case. As Tommy is a hero in name, not in his heart, but he's now awakening to a calling from his heart, Grimwall is an automaton who is awakening to sentience (figuratively speaking). Emotion above rudimentary levels is a foreign thing to her, and the emotions inspired by Tommy's presence are part of her fascination with him. From what we know about her, it would be the natural state of affairs for her to view every event in her life colored by a very limited range of emotions.
I'm focussing on the tower confrontation because it feels like this huge climactic event, but there really isn't any climax. You could write a whole short story just about the raid on the tower and the "duel of minds" (shades of Vizzini!) that ended in a stalemate and the first sliver of doubt in the minds of the worlds mightiest combatants. I know I'd enthusiastically consume it.
When you finish this story, my recommendation would be that you take a fresh look at it, envisioning it not as a single story, but as a "story pitch" for a series of linked short stories, each telling its own chapter of the greater journey of Grimwall and Captain Indivisible towards whatever ends they finally reach. -
Hey, Cuddles - Is there a "who's who" or a "the story so far" or something? I'm getting a little confused about just what's going on and who all of these people are. The story seems to take it for granted that the reader is already familiar with all of them. Is this a continuation of characters from a previously published story? I'm feeling sort of like I picked up the second volume of a trilogy, without realizing that it's really part two of a bigger story.
Also, I'm not entirely sure just what the red text is supposed to signify. Maybe that red is "group telepathy" (or radio or whatever it is that they're using to communicate; it's not really clear) and yellow is "private speak"? It's a bit of a problem if you're using the villains forum skin, as it comes out red on red, instead of red on blue. It's not horrible, but it is a bit hard on the eyes, given the lack of contrast. -
If there's still some question about venue, then maybe it's appropriate to ask "What activities happen at an informal Meet and Greet?"
If it's something beyond chatting (like, you know, getting Ex Libris and Lighthouse drunk and goading them into a table-top dance-off) then some venues might be more appropriate than others. -
[ QUOTE ]
Uh, where is there a Red Robin in the downtown area? South Lake Union?
[/ QUOTE ]
Unless something happened to it at some point in the past, there should be one at around 4th and Union.
lemmee do a quick phone book search...
Apparently it's on the waterfront now, on Alaskan Way. Go figure. That's not particularly close to the convention center, though it's not prohibitively far either. Probably too far for most to want to walk, though. -
That was too cool for school.
-
Steampunk is the idea that steam power and "clockwork" mechanics could somehow be harnessed to create advanced technology. At it's fringes, stuff like imagining that Charles Babbage managed to turn the Differential Engine into a real supercomputer counts as Steampunk.
-
That's a pretty good way to use your contrast color!
Must make it hard to make those stealth kills, though! -
I keep my gamma set at a pretty respectable level and I still can't make out any detail on your costume creator clip. Any chance you could boost the brightness of Niobrara's pic a couple of notches, Grower?
-
Power Pack.
What? It was a good story right up until the parents went crazy and Alex turned into a Kymellian... -
My biggest problem with the Gimp is that it has a really deficient jpeg creator in comparison to Photoshop. I wasn't real fond of the different toolset either, but if you're someone who isn't already "trained" to prefer Photoshop then that's not really a problem.
That's a pretty disparate set of images. I think your best bet, if story-telling is your goal, is to come up with the story first and then create the scenes to fit the requirements of the story. Right now you have a random set of scenes that have little-to-no connection.
Some kind of humorous travelogue might work. -
That definitely wins an internet. I almost wish that I'd seen her first without knowing her genesis. My mind keeps toggling between seeing her as a very muscular woman and as a young boy. It would be interesting to have met her in-game where the "sovereign experience" involved knowing her only as a rather strange-looking woman (and wondering "how did that person create that?").
-
Congratulations to the couple and the parents. I assume they're registered at Wentworth's...
-
I thought you said this thing was going to be long? You put it all in just one post...
Since this is a prologue, it's a bit early to judge. After reading this, I'm imagining a character that's Elric reincarnated. Being a God, or as good as, and then taking a step down to be an ordinary person is quite a leap. You'll have a challenge ahead of you to show how and why "Sarah" came to be, and make it a believable transition.
I'll look forward to seeing how things progress. -
Errr, be gentle about what? What is this supposed to be? Something to do with one of the RP threads?