Scrankinator

The old man sighs as he slowly removes his "splendid waist coat, reaching inside to pull out a very ornate katana.

"Never a dull moment. Never a dull moment..."

He thinks back to his entire life. Well, not all of it, that would take a long time. All the battles, the heroics, the not so proud moments...and he can't seem to think of one where he really got to relax.

But then again, where would be the fun in that? The old boy has a point, it's much better than going into a party full of stuff shirts and stuck ups, even if it had been two hundred years.

He gives his sword a couple of tentative twirls, "I pick saddling up. You point, I slice." He gives a wide crap eating grin. "Just like old times."

He remembers all of the times these two have done things just like this, only they were far more dressed for the occasion. I mean really, how funny is it going to look seeing an old man in formal wear smack some people in their faces. You know, flip out and go ninja on them.

"Hey Maltese, I hear that those Ritki dropped a spoon."

The old man arrived just as his old friend was leaving. Fashionably late, of course.

He quirks a brow as he thinks he sees the bulk of a man.

"Maltese? Is that you?" he runs to catch up to the man retreating from the very place he was about to enter.

"I had no idea you were going to this thing. I would have brought some of that whisky from 1783."

He looks towards the gala, and back towards his friend, "Is it any good in there? Or did I get my splendid suit tailored for absolutely nothing?"

The old man stood in front of a mirror, looking at his suit...a rather old suit that he had altered for this new event. He turns to look at his compatriot, the only other person in Masterforce he considers a "Gentleman" (No offense Maltese).

The Dark Man standing before him breathes like Darth Vader, and seems to regard Ramirez for a moment.

"Sir Ramirez, I am still at a loss as to why you asked me to see if Serge's alterations fit. I'm hardly qualified."

"You were a Dark Lord of the Knights of Darkness. You're a gentlemen. So speak up Lord Zero, what do you think?"

The dark armored man breathes a couple of more times before turning his back.

"Ramirez. I have asked you time and again not to call me that."

"It's your name, isn't it?"

"No more than your name is actually Juan Ramirez. My people are gone, Juan. Call me by my given name. It is only right. And I don't know what to tell you about the suit."

"You're a gentleman! Just look at this splendid waistcoat. What do you think?"


"You mistake my manners for gentlemenliness. You've lived over 4 millenia, and you care what I think?" The breathing continues, "Fine. It looks good."

Ramirez's face drops and he sighs.

"Thaddeus. I'm serious here. How does it look? I haven't worn this suit in around 200 years. If I'm going to make a public appearance on behalf of Masterforce, I might as well look good doing it."

"What do I know about looking good? Look at me, Ramirez. I don't have the gift of healing as you. I am stuck in this damn life support unit until Mral and I either figure out how to utilize the darkness to heal me, or I die."

"Talk about a joykill...."

"Fine. You look great, is that what you want to hear? You look fantastic, Ramirez."

"Now you're just saying that to shut me up. You're acting like the ninja."

ArchiteuthusDux, as the papers call him, turns...Vaderish breathing continuing. He points a finger at Ramirez, "Never accuse me of acting like that impetuous child! He lacks the calm and training of a dark knight! And I was being serious!"

"Well. The Dark Knight acknowledges his heritage when it's convenient. You should work on that, Thaddeus. Consistency is the key to excellency...after all. And you're just pissed because the ninjas hero name includes your actual last name. But fine. If you say I look good, I look good. I haven't gotten this far by not trusting my friends. What say we pay?"

"Thank you, Ramirez. I'm sorry for my outburst. I am glad to call you friend...yes, let's. And I hold nothing against the Ninja. He's just a boy, after all."

Ramirez smirks, "Oh Serge! Do you want paper or plastic?"

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
PM's statesman about this.. answer.. Gotcha.

I dont know if thats a yes or no though..

[/ QUOTE ]

Neither. But I'd expect one around Halloween as a treat. Not sure what the coinciding trick may be though.

[/ QUOTE ]

A Nerf to Regen.

What else would it be?

A white haired man sits inside the large mansion in Founders Falls that belongs to the Masterforce.

Silently, from behind him, a man dressed in the robes of an ancient ninja clan approaches him.

The old looking man smirks, and slightly turns his head, "You're getting good at that. You almost snuck up on me that time."

"Heh. I imagine one of your 'experience' will always be difficult to sneak up on. Something came for you in the mail. The Butler wanted to bring it, but I know you hate feeling like you have servants."

"Indeed, what is it?"

The ninja looking man smirks underneath his cowl and makes his best phoney british accent he can, "Mr. Juan Ramirez, you and one guest are hereby..." he goes on.

Ramirez shakes his head, "Another gala event. You know, when I decided to do this hero thing Lord...I never thought I'd actually be popular. Others like me revel in it, I'd prefer just be left alone."

"Hmm. Then I guess I should tell Mr. Chaning to respond in the negative for you?"

"No. No no. It's been a couple hundred years since I went to an actual formal event."

"Do you have to keep reminding me of your age, old man. It's creepy, you know."

Juan laughs, "Magic will be magic, Ninja."

"I know all about magic, old man. That doesn't mean the magic surrounding you is any less annoying."

"Why Lord Cero, I thought you enjoyed the benefits of my...experience."

"Only when you aren't babbling about some stupid story."

"Yes, well...uncast my magic then."

"You know I can't. No one can, nor would I if I could."

"Then go tell the butler to respond in the positive. I suppose I should get my suit altered. There's so many holes in my splendid waist coat."

"You never cease to irritate me, effite old man."

"Children have no culture, Cero. Don't prove yourself to be one." he looks to see the ninja already gone to deliver the affirmative. "Damn, the boy is getting good at that."

He sits back, hmming to himself. Pondering who to take. He could always take the Maltese Knight and they could both get liquored up real good and make a ruckus. But no, that doesn't seem to suit this sort of event. Who to take, who to take.

He sighs, whispering to himself,

"It's times like this I wish I understood the magic around me, cast it on others. I could have brought Cleopatra...oh could she dance. Or Helen of Troy, such a nice figure... Or even...oh bah. The Ninja's right. You really are an old man, Juan, too old."

I'm a 25 year old from Tulsa, Oklahoma with a bachelor's degree in both Computer Science and Business administration.

I currently live in Boston and work as the IT manager of an outsourcing firm. I am engaged with two children(cats, not real kids. But, she calls them children) and am moving back to Oklahoma to run my own consulting business at the end of the month.

I think that about covers it...oh, and as for sports...this should sum it up if the avatar doesn't.

GO CARDS :P

Alright. Here it is for ArchiteuthusDux. It's linked for Length. Sort of both the reason for his song, and his origin. Critique, enjoy, whatevah!

Clowns to the left of us, jokers to the right

Edit: Fixed the typos I could find. Been dying to share this story as this was a long time MUSH char. But I think I got them all this time.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Hey Arc_Salvo, ever read "The Comedy Bible" by Judy Carter? Excellent analytical tool about comedy writing that you might enjoy reading. I did, and I'm not the slightest bit funny.

Anyway, you're correct that in a professional setting Mighty Storm's guide could use a polishing re-write, tightening up a few spots. But in this venue it works great. Overall I found the piece to be quite amusing, with some wonderfully-worded lines. Seems more reminiscent of Douglas Adams than Kaufman or Monty Python IMHO.

I only wish the url was short enough I could more easily recommend it in-game. Good job Mighty Storm.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree that in retrospect, it is suitable for this venue. People here aren't professionals, and they don't usually have time to tighten things up even if they're inclined to do so. Busy lives and such. As it is, sometimes I find myself spending a little (okay, a -lot-) more time than I originally intended polishing what was supposed to be an "improv" humorous post off the top of my head, and so know how long writing posts like this "guide" can drag on if you don't pull yourself away. Even still, I get the feeling that Mighty Storm will revise this again, and publish a newer, improved version.

Unless he doesn't feel like it.

And thanks for the heads-up, I think I might just read that book, and then ignore all the advice and continue to not be funny, as I am not right now.

Anyway, I hope M.S. adds a note about how the true purpose of teh h34lar is to flip out and kill people, because dead enemies can't hurt your team, and also because it's sooo awesome to flip out and chop off heads all the time and not even think twice about it. And the best h33l0rs are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. Just like all good Tankers, Defenders, and Controllers according to my many unfunny, incoherent posts on the subject.

Yep, everyone's supposed to flip out, and kill entire towns because some guy dropped a spoon, and uppercut people just because they open windows... except Blasters and Tankers, who are instead supposed to meditate all day to pursue the path of inner peace and possibly enlightenment... then take the medicine pool and use it on all the Defenders, Controller, and Tankers who are flipping out and killing people.

Because that's REAL ULTIMATE POWER !!!!

[/ QUOTE ]


I saw this ninja totally uppercut some kid for opening a window.

Someone dropped a spoon, and the ninja killed the whole town.

Then, the ninja committed frisbee seppuku. That's when he gets really pissed and flips out, but he has no one else to kill. So he kills himself by swallowing a frisbee.

I will be blunt and honest. I think this is a ridiculous idea. Influence should be used. But requiring one to just play the game in a different outfit?

Come on....

He has a really neat avatar!

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
For those who complain that the Archetypes who have the fewest sets were overlooked... the next planned powersets are melee based.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pistol scrappers, please please, Equilibrium based pistol scrappers.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't worry, states already stated that this is one of them in a past post. He said "Pistol Scrappers. Think...Equilibrium"