ProfEinstein

Eistein corners Catsi and slices him to pieces limb by limb with a meat cleaver. Then he reanimates Catsi from the pieces and kills him again with a napalm grenade,

Then he scoops up the ashes and mixes it with sugar and alcohal to the monkeys. They then later throw their crap at the unsuspecting crazzys at the assilum.

LR: Hah! This will be my greatest scheem yet!

Recluse sets a bag of horse $!t3 on fire and places it infront of State's secret sanctum.

States: Holy crap! A fire! Put it out put it out!

States Man stomps the fire and the rest is history.

[ QUOTE ]
LR: Ghost Widow, Mako, Scorpion, Sciroco!
All: yes lord?
LR: I have finally thought of a plan to defeat the heros
All: yes?
LR: We are going to kill them. . .
LR: With Kindness!

[/ QUOTE ]

He'l kill ya with kindness. He'l kill ya with a gr-i-i-i-i-n. Kid Friendly, don't you mess around with him.

LR: OOOOOOOOOOH, I wish I was an Oscimire Weener, cuz that is what I realy want to be-e-e-e. Cuz, if I were and Oscimire Weener, then everyone would be in love with me!

So, who makes the bassis on what is right and what is cruel? That depends on what you think is fair and what is unfair. Do you mind if I insult your mother? Probebly... Would that make me less human if I called her something terrible? What if I said the same thing to someone elses mother, and he did not mind, am I evil yet?

Jenkins quits the Ledites...

Jenkins: So, now that I have passed the initation what do I do?

Friar: Well, hold this picket sign and march around the street with us... Oh! And wear this shirt!

Jenkins takes a sign that says "Technology is evil." and pulls on a shirt that has a red slash across a cell phone.

J: Well, I feel stupid, but I'll give it a shot.

F: Ok, let's perade across the street and hand out pamphlets!

Jenkins' cell phone errupts into abnoxious ringing and buzzing and vibrating.

J: Hold on a sec, it's my friend from the electronics shop.

F: From where?

The Friar and several torch holders surround him.

J: Oh, bloody hell!

Einstein breaks Craban's leggs in mid-run.

That takes care of that...

Wipes hands on thighs.

Statesman and Recluse beat the crap out of eatch other for a good half a day... They both stand at a stailmate and stair one another in the eyes.

LR: Oh yeah? Well, I bet my dad could beat up your dad!

S: YOUR ON!!!

They both flick out their cell phones and call their dads.

Actualy, they believe rats do not have feelings. This is called "self awareness".

When something has "self awareness", it fears for it's life. The only animals to exibit this form of awareness is, dolfins, elefents, dogs, and humans. It's not a test of intellegence, it's a test of thought. Even retarded humans know they are alive and fight to live. And when a dolfin sees himself in a mirror, he knows that's him and not a different dolfin.

That's what draws the line.

I don't sniff things a cant pronounce....

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Jenkins: Wow, I finaly reached threat level 20! WOOO HOOO!

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Jenkins's fist breaks against the hero's chest as a lvl 23 SKs the lowby in the nick of time.

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
LL: Just let me take cair of this grey real quick.

[/ QUOTE ]

I like it. But, being the nitpick that I am, I feel the need to correct one thing:

SKs are 1 level lower than the person who SKs them. If a 23 SKd him, he would only be 22, making Jenkins a green con. Maybe exaggerate a bit more, and make it a 25 who SKs him.

Other than that, like I said, it's good. ^_^

[/ QUOTE ]

Thnx. I'm not very clear on the lvl system other than XP and debt, so I just threw it together real quick.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Soldiers: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!

Wolf Spider #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?

Soldiers: Burn her! Burn!

Recluse: How do you know she is a witch?

Wolf Spider #2: She looks like one.

Recluse: Bring her forward.

Ghost Widow: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

Recluse: But you are dressed as one.

Ghost Widow: They dressed me up like this.

Soldiers: We didn't, we didn't.

Ghost Widow: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.

Recluse: Well?

Wolf Spider #1: Well, we did do the nose.

Recluse: The nose?

Wolf Spider #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!

Soldiers: Burn her! A witch! A witch! Burn her!

Recluse: Did you dress her up like this?

Soldiers: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, a bit, a bit.

Wolf Spider #1: She has got a wart.

Recluse: What makes you think she is a witch?

Wolf Spider #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.

Recluse: A newt?

Wolf Spider #3: I got better.

Wolf Spider #2: Burn her anyway!

Soldiers: Burn! Burn her!

Recluse: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.

Soldiers: Are there? What are they? Tell us, tell us. Do they hurt?

Recluse: Tell me, what do you do with witches?

Wolf Spider #2: Burn!

Soldiers: Burn, burn them up!

Recluse: And what do you burn apart from witches?

Wolf Spider #1: More witches!

Wolf Spider #2: Wood!

Recluse: So, why do witches burn?

[pause]

Wolf Spider #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?

Recluse: Good!

Soldiers: Oh yeah, yeah...

Recluse: So, how do we tell whether she, is made, of wood?

Wolf Spider #1: Build a bridge out of her.

Recluse: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Wolf Spider #2: Oh, yeah.

Recluse: Does wood sink in water?

Wolf Spider #1: No, no.

Wolf Spider #2: It floats! It floats!

Wolf Spider #1: Throw her into the pond!

Soldiers: The pond!

Recluse: What also floats in water?

Wolf Spider #1: Bread!

Wolf Spider #2: Apples!

Wolf Spider #3: Very small rocks!

Wolf Spider #1: Cider!

Wolf Spider #2: Great gravy!

Wolf Spider #1: Cherries!

Wolf Spider #2: Mud!

Wolf Spider #3: Churches -- churches!

Wolf Spider #2: Lead -- lead!

Sirocco: A duck.

Soldiers: Oooh.

Recluse: Exactly! So, logically...,

Wolf Spider #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.

Recluse: And therefore--?

Wolf Spider #1: A witch!

Soldiers: A witch! A duck! A duck!

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL Monty Python

[/ QUOTE ]

I can do you a better one...

Lord Recluse: Brother Mako, read the book of armaments chapter six, page two...

Mako: And Saint Atilla placed the hand grenade apon the alter and said. "Lord, bless this thine hand grenade. So that I may blast my enemys into tiny bits and pieces in your name." And the lord, he did grin. And they feasted apon the lambs, and the cows, and the baboons, and the breakfast cerials...

LR: Mako, skip a few pages...

I spilled spot remover on my dog... Now he's gone... *sniff*

Jenkins finaly has the upper hand.

Jenkins: Wow, I finaly reached threat level 20! WOOO HOOO!

Lost Lowby: I came to steel canion to change my costume and now I'm stuck here! Can I have a TP?

The hero walks into a mob full of purples with Jenkins one of them.

LL: AAAAHHH!!!

J: Looks like I finaly get to beat someone up this time!

The lowby sprints away but gets hit by a hold.

LL: Can someone please give me an SK?

Jenkins takes his time walking over to the held hero and prepares to hit him.

J: I've wanted to do this for a long time! Take thi... Uh oh...

Jenkins's fist breaks against the hero's chest as a lvl 23 SKs the lowby in the nick of time.

LL: Thnx, I owe you one. I've been stuck here for half an hour.

The lowby flicks Jenkins in the forehead and he flies across the street and smashes through a brick wall.

LL: Just let me take cair of this grey real quick.

J: Ugh... Oh, bloody hell!

Identity: Zatz

Real Name: Niel Jackson

Date of Birth: July 27, 1990

Threat Level: High


Height: 5'2

Weight: 176 lbs.

Hair: brown

Eyes: Brown

Distinguishing Marks: Large scar across back


Convicted: October 2005, Murder (multiple counts), Arson (multiple counts), robery (multiple counts), Escape, Resisting Arrest (multiple counts).

Note: Convicted as minor.

Sentence: 90 years to life, Zigersky Penetentiary.

Suspected powers: He is suspected to have superhuman strength, but not at all times. He is also known to have high resistance to damage and a bottomless pain threshold, but not at all times. Source of this power is unkown to us at this time, though the culprit has mentioned a name: Zatz.

NOTE: As a child growing up, Niel was always much more intelligent than his peers, even his own perants. One day, his perants cought him talking to himself. And he began acting strangely, damaging public property, and stealing.

Finaly, he went too far when he killed a fellow student by throwing him through a brick wall and into a light post. He was tried as a minor and sentanced to life. He was perscribed medication, that prevented his "imaginary friend" from returning. He was later aided in escape by Arachnos along with many other meta humans, and remved from his medication.

Jenkins and the Night Haunts!

Jenkins: Sir, can I put in my two weeks notice?

Night Haunt: Arrg! There will be no deserters untill we've all made 10,000 gold pieces!

Night Haunt moves thrugh Jenkins.

J: Brrr. I hate it when you do that!

NH: Ah, let us shiver their timbers!

The grupe of Night Haunts phase through a brick wall and scream at a helpless pedestrian at the top of their etherial lungs.

NH: Come on Jenkins, join us!

J: I cant phase through walls...

NH: Stop your lolygangging and help!

Jenkins tries his hardest and slams into the brick wall.

NH: Come men! Join me in a blood curdling howl! So that we may instill fear throughout the city! Ouooooo!

The Night Haunts begin howling like wolves.

NH: Come on Jenkins! Give us a good howl! Auoooo!

J: I'll try... Aaaahhhoooooaaaaoooo!

Villain: Hey, I found some here!

A large 8 man team surounds them. A large fight insues while Jenkins tries his hardest to avoid the fight, as he is completely devoid of any ghost powers...

NH: Retreat to the nether world!

J: WAIT! I can't do that!

NH: Can't never could Jenkins...

The Night Haunts phase out of reality leaving Jenkins by himself.

V: Hey! There's one left!

J: Oh, bloody hell...

Einstein putes Gir in a box. And putes that box in a bigger box, and thusforth until Gir is in twenty boxes. Then he putes that large box into a giant chest and males that chest to a shack in the middle of nowhere and launches a nuclear missle which converges on the chest.

Then, Einstein enteres the sceen with a plasma gun and melts the ashes of the chest (and Gir) into a pile of red glowing mush. Then Einstein drives a six wheeler over it and feeds the flatend remains to a hungry Vahzilok (did I spell that right?) infront of his own family!

[ QUOTE ]
"What's wrong Mako?"

Chin up, chin up
Everybody loves a happy face
Wear it, share it
It'll brighten up the darkest place
Twinkle, sparkle
Let a little sunshine in
You'll be on the right side
Looking at the bright side
Up with your chinny chin chin

Chin up, Chin up
Put a little laughter in your eyes
Brave it, save it
Even though you're feeling otherwise
Rise up, wise up
Make a little smile begin
You'll be happy hearted
Once you get it started
Up with your chinny chin chin!

Chin down
You can't come frowning
Turn around
Starting, clowning
Think sad - your trouble's double
Think glad - they burst like bubbles

Chin up, chin up
Every little time your spirits wilt
Chin up, chin up
Give your attitude in upward tilt
Twinkle, sparkle
Make a little fun begin
You'll be on the right side
Looking at the bright side
Up with your chinny chin - chin up!

[/ QUOTE ]

I just had to point this one out. I read it still every now and then and it has me rolling on the floor in laughter...

[ QUOTE ]
Jenkins joins the Contaminated

Jenkins: So all i have to do to join your group is drink some water?

Stricken Brawler: So...thirsty

Jenkins: Uuuhhh...is that a yes?

Blighted: What? Oh, Jenkins, yes just drink some water and you'll be instantly powerful.

Jenkins: WOO HOO! So where is the water?

Blighted: Right here (motions to the sewage farm).

Jenkins: uuummm....behind the cesspool?

Blighted: No.

Jenkins: Is the water next to the cesspool?

Blighted: No, it IS the cesspool.

Jenkins: WHAT?! You gotta be kidding me!

Blighted: Just drink the water Jenkins.

Jenkins: Hell no! I'm not drinking water that used to be in the island's toilets! Look! A turd just floated by! You guys are sick! I'm leav-(Jenkins stops in midsentence when he notices the barrel of Blighted's shotgun pressed upon his right temple)

Blighted: DRINK THE WATER!!

Jenkins: Oh bloody hell!

[/ QUOTE ]

That's a funny one. "Uuuuummm, behind the cesspool?"

Why dosen't someone give the red caps a crack at it?

Einstein kills whever started the lawsuit and then kills whever performed a lawsuit on him for killing ther person who started the lawsuit on the thread. Then he kills whever killed the previous univers... Becous he's been looking for this forum for a long, loooooong, time...

[ QUOTE ]
Merry Christmas! HO!HO!HO!....Ofcourse I didn't mean you Ghost Widow, I was refering to Silver Mantis. Honestly, if she will hang around with that stumble bum Black Scorpion.

[/ QUOTE ]

I realy don't understand why you all think Ghost Widow and Recluse have that kind of relationship...

Jenkins tries to quit The Family...

Jenkins: Hey, boss? I'm gonna put in my two weeks notice... This suit is hard to keep clean and the tommy guns hurt my ears.

Underboss: You don't pick sides against the Family.

J: Sir, I had no inten...

Hitman: You want I should take him out for a little accident?

J: I don't think tha will be necisa...

U: No, I want him swimming with the fishys!

*They drive him to a dock and give him a pair of cement shoos*

H: Bonvoiage!

*Jenkins is dropped off the side of the dock and sinks to the bottom*

J: *bubbles* Oh, bloody hell...

Now your getting the idea! Good kills, had me rolling on the floor with laughter.

Dr. Venderion respawns in a puff of black smoke. "Ah, the kill thread prior to this one had a purple puff of smoke..." Dr. Venderion recalled the times.

As he stood there looking for a good way to kill something, he took a whiff of the black smoke he respawned in and killed a few of his brain cells. Completely oblivious to his suffering brain cells he leaves the black puff of smoke before any serious damage was done to his brain. "Gotta find something to kill..." Dr. Venderion murmured to himself.

He then sets off to an alley so he could manufacture a few robots and set out on his creative rampage.

Great ideas keep them coming!

January!?! Who knows how long that will be!?!

I'm going to take one more crack at this.

Rules:

One: You must kill something in every post.

Two: You may not use the same kill more than once.

Three: No "I had my anti pirana suit on" crap! If someone kills you then accept it and respawn.

Four: Be creative! I don't want to hear that you snapped your fingers and everyone dies.

Ok, if I missed anything I'll post it later.

Dr. Venderion leans against a wall and presses a red flashing button with his back. The floor drops beneath him and he nearly lands on a bed of spikes. "Hah, I love my jet pack." He stated as he landed.

On his way down he steps on a spider that was crawling across the floor.