Pious

The word rang through his ears like the sound of a chinese gong. A thunderous noise and the entire class seemed alert. Pious had struck Natoe across the face, with lightening speed.

The shouting had attracted attention, too much attention, and Ms Abset was looking very crossed.

"You know what, even if you weren't invisible, I'd have hit you up side the head, you (censored) geek" said Natoe.

Geek... he did NOT just call me a 'geek' The room suddenly went black, Pious' head was spinning. He was very short-tempered; being called 'Denis', he could deal with, he could even bare with the smoke in the face, but 'geek' was one word, that sparked a demon.

"Dont. Call. Me. Geek" he spelt out each word, with a frightening look on his face. His eyes were glowing furiously like the lit fuse of an ACME dynamite.

((ROFL. nice one Gaz.))

The lesson was boring and Pious was now staring out the window.

Without warning, he felt something slump onto his lap. What the-, he thought, spinning around to see Natoe jump off his lap. The boy looked utterly confused as he stretched out a large hand, accidentally poking Pious in the eyes. "Gahh!" he screamed, as a large hand came swiping at the air, knocking him clear off his seat and out of invisibility.

"What the (censored)! Pious, is that you?"

"You TITT, you big giant TITT! What are you BLIND?!" Pious exclaimed.

[ QUOTE ]
'great just great why do i have to share a dorm with that geek.'

[/ QUOTE ]

((if Pious heard this, he'd 'brawl' you to death! ))

Pious remained invisible as the teacher spoke on, he wasn't interested in music much, but was determined to make a good impression, nevertheless.

He sat upright, wondering if Ms Asbet could see him.

((Welcome back Statis and Weasel. ))

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Oh, one thought occurs. You describe your hero as being tied to Overbrook as if he can never leave, yet later in the story he does. Might be worth just adding a bit so the reader knows he can leave for short periods?

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah. I meant for freeza to say so when the girls arrive, but i prolly should establish this sooner.

The door opens ever so gently, and Mrs. Asbet the music teacher, walks in.

"Good morning everyone; Welcome to Paragon High" she said, through smiles."

With the staging and screen-shooting done and dusted, I have mapped out approximately twenty pages for April's issue. (Took me long enough!)

However, note that *every* page is now undergoing a complete rework in storyline and dialogue.

So far, I have Page 1 and Page 2 .

PS: The improvements are a result of Floating's feedback. (Thanks again man, I like the new pages sooo much better, and I'd like to know if you do too.)

[RANDOM] Arrrrrrr! *dances a happy dance*

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You didn't tell me Tuesday was your birthday!!! /e slap

[/ QUOTE ]

Terribly sorry! I remember trying to tell you, but then you said a few things that erm.. distracted me

By the way, on tuesday, the forums put a little cake next to my name; It was awesome!

((ah, okay.. i'll get my boots and meet u up on the hills. ))

(( he has no powers, quick, steal his glasses. ...kidding. ¬¬

i wish a teacher wud walk in.. what do I do Vol?))

((yay! go Tyler.))

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((ooc this is my first attempt at something like this so any pointers would be appreciated.))

[/ QUOTE ]

((the only pointer I have is probably obvious; read as many previous posts for complete understanding of the status quo.. I find this helpful when attempting IC interaction with the other posters. Unfortunatly, *some* wont respond.. I often just avert my story at this point.))

Oh my God! That guy looks like my brother. I wonder who he is, he thought, jumping out of his seat and making for the red-skin.

"Hey there!" Pious shouted, afraid he'd be ignored yet again. "Oh, terribly sorry" he said, releasing the light around his body. "Forgot I was invisible. My name's Pious, Pious Hunter."

[ QUOTE ]
Also, I cringed at the first "LOL". Please don't do that, it's the fastest way to destroy a story

[/ QUOTE ]

Come to think of it, you're absolutely right..

I better get to it. The sooner I cover this up, the better.

EDIT: You know something? I think I just figured out the main problem.. the story starts IC but tends to slip OOC at certain points. The comic is months old and I must've been blind to this; thanks for the *insight* [PUNCHLINE] Ba-dum pa!

thank you VERY much. ur feedback means alot to me, i enjoy making these and I will definately rework the dialogue, with your thoughts in consideration.

once again, i'm glad you like it. any particular page your favourite? (i always ask.. no real reason)

PS: do you mind if i quote a part of your feedback onto the back cover?

Three new pictures...

Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Pious spun around and noticed people staring right at him, mostly shocked faces but some seemed angry.

"'Scuse my french" he apologized. "Bad news regarding my dorm" he added, sitting back down in sheer embarassment.

Moments later, he swallowed the light and was once again, invisible. He spun around to count those present, testing his newly aquired skill.

Some kid with glasses was reading music, something Pious couldn't do to save his life. He stared expectantly at the boy's head, but saw nothing. Odd, he thought to himself.

Another boy was standing near him, apparantly introducing himself, "Ebola Watson". He too had nothing above his head.

A third kid was engrossed in a book titled "How to Remember Stuff"; Pious chuckled.

If you want, you can post Skawn's drama on here too, so people can see.

((BAD eva. very bad eva! jajajjaj. so like, i'm off to morning lecture. just so you dont leave any stories hanging on me. catch y'all wen i get back. tata))

Pious reached a studio door and double-checked the inscription, "Music". He peeked through a glass panel, checking if the lesson had already begun. Oh thank god, he thought, noting only two people inside. Glancing down the corridors, he was certain the coast was clear; with a shimmer of light, Pious became invisibility.

* * *

The studio door creaked open, seemingly unassisted. A moment later, it slammed shut with a violent thud. Pious prayed the two boys would shrug it off as nothing more than a gust of wind.

He noticed an empty chair at the far corner of the room, nearest to the windows, yet far from the boys. He'd only just sat, when he heard a noise from outside. What the-. He stood up, and looked through the windows. You've got to be kidding me. Pious was gobsmacked, as he saw Natoe uproot a small tree in the middle of the school yard. What is wrong with this boy? he asked himself. And that confirms it he thought, as Natoe lobbed the tree high into the air. Nutcase, absolute nutcase! I'm keeping a mile between him and me for the rest this year! With that, he sat back down. Reaching into the large pocket in the front of his dungaree, Pious produced the blue folder, careful not to reveal it. He pocketed his swipe card and glanced at the details of his allocated accomodation.

"(CENSORED)!!" Pious exclaimed, revealing himself by accident. His eyes had widened to a huge pair of ball and terror etched across his face.

:ormotary Room 203::

En-suite watercloset and shower. Television and Wireless Internet access. Two single beds and two windows.

:ormotary Roommate::

Natoe James Adams

((good point))

((I'm not familiar with the american education system... i've been told several times by americans but never cared enough to remember. [PUNCHLINE] ba-dum pa!

Q1: what is the american equivalent of year 9?

Q2: is 'Ebony' okay for the receptionist? we can *always* compromise

Q3: I noticed everyone seems to be directing there stories to the music room so i followed suit shall we name our Music teacher? i have no ideas yet.. [cough] lies [cough] .. ))

((hmm.. Pious argued with Natoe on the *second* floor and I was under the impression Ebola was still in the foyer; which is why Pious saw him when he came down... han well, I can work around it. ... ))

I dont think he heard me. Pious thought, as the boy continued down the hallway. "Well," he sighed, "I better find out what class you're surposed to be at." He approached the reception desk, but nobody was there.

"Hello?"

"Morning" came a reply.

"..."

"I've never seen your face before." The voice carried a curious tone, and was clearly feminine. It came from directly in front of Pious, where a receptionist would have sat.

"I.. I can't see yours at all."

"I dont want you to" came the voice, now carrying a more flirtatious tone.

"Are you the receptionist?"

"Maybe" now childlike and playful.

"Right, whatever." Pious was quickly loosing patience. "Well, I need my timetable, swipe card and I still dont know where I'll be staying tonight.. I missed the tour earlier-"

"I know"

"You what?"

"Pious got in trouble this morning. Pious has been smoking"

"You're not the receptionist are you?"

"I might be"

Pious bit his lips, trying to contain his temper. "Look, I'm late for class, and I'd really appreciate my timetable." Is that so much to ask? "Please"

A sudden wave of noise came from being some shelves, and without warning, a blue A4 folder came flying at Pious; he caught it mid air.

"There. Now. Go. Away."

"Gladly" he backed away from the counter as fast as he could and walked briskly towards a hallway. That has got to be, by far, the wierdest thing I've ever been through.

"Myrtyl, why are you invisible?!" Came an agry voice. Pious froze, wanting to hear more. "What have I told you about hiding outside classes?"

"Sowwy mummy."

"And who was that boy?"

"What boy? I dont know-" Myrtyl's mum must have fixed her a warning look, "Oh, that boy."

"Yes, that boy." her voice carried a lighter tone, "If you ever pull a stunt like that again young lady, I'll ban you from this side of the counter, you understand?" Pious could only assume Myrtyl had nodded, "Good... Cheeky."

A joke, a practical joke! Pious smiled, it was the sort of thing he would've done.

* * *

He looked down at the folder, which had "Pious Hunter. Trial" inscribed on the front. "Trial? What in God's name does that mean?". It dawned onto Pious that he'd have to ask the receptionist. Oh man, had it been the actual receptionist who gave this to me, I'd have been told what it means. It appeard he had no choice but to approach the counter again, "Darn it, I hoped Myrtyl isn't still there" he lied.

Stepping out of the hallway, he saw a lady at the counter. She was strikingly beautiful, with silky blonde hair; thin yet clearly athletic.

"Er.. erm" it seemed the receptionist had stolen his voice.

"Ah, welcome back."

"..." Pious could tell from the voice that this wasn't Myrtyl; it was her mum.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, er.." he muttered, clearing his throat in an attempt to recover his voice. "My err.. folder, it says err.." he coughed again. "Err"

"Your.. name. The folder says your name" she said, more jokingly than condescending.

"Oh, yeah. Yes, I.. I know that. What I, what I wanted to say is, erm.. trial." Pious blabbered. "Trial.. trial. That's.. that's what I meant to say."

"Okay," she smiled, with an expectant nod. "We're getting somewhere." She leant foward, placing her elbows on the counter and her chin into her palms; this only distracted Pious more. She wore strapless pink leather, what looked like a corset; knee-high trousers, pink, with white stars running vertically down the sides. Averting his focus away from her chest, he noticed the colour of her eyes fade from brown to blue.

"What's your name?" he blurted.

"Ebony" she replied, clearly taken aback, but aparantly not offended. "Can't you tell?"

Pious remembered what Mrs Alexis had told him "No, I've not quite figured out how."

"Okay, close your eyes." He obeyed.

"You ready?"

"Yeah" he said, clearly excited. He seemed to have conquered his nerves, having blurted out an honest thought. Ebony reached across the counter and clapped him about the head. "Ow!" he exclaimed, opening his eyes to see her giggling.

"Well, did it work?"

"Of course not." Like mother, like daughter Pious thought. "I'm not falling for a two jokes in one day"

"It's not a joke" she said, with a smile that seemed perfectly suitable for her model-like tan. "It works for most people."

"Right. Well, I'm not sure I believe.." his voice trailed off as the word "Myrtyl" materialised in mid-air, right in his face. "Jesus!" he called out, stumbling backwards and tripping on his own feet, landing on his buttocks. Ebony giggled and Pious thought he heard faint laughter under the Myrtyl. Pointing his fingers wildly towards her, "I see it. I see it!" he exclaimed. "It's blue, it read 'Myrtyl'. Your daughter's invisible again, but I can see her name." A sudden gasp and the word scuttled around a corner.

"Ah, congratulations."

"Yeah, yeah I guess."

"At least now my daughter can't follow you around without you knowing." Pious flushed a bright orange. "Can you see mine?"

"Yes, but yours reads 'Legendary'... 'The Legendary Ebony'"

"So it should, I'm surprised you couldn't see names Pious. What grade are you in?"

"Well, thats why I returned to see you. My starter pack says 'Trial' on the front-"

"And you dont know what it means" she interrupted. "You should've been clearer." Pious considered being open again, but thought better of it. "Did you even open the folder? It tells you all about it on the inside."

Doh! he thought, smacking himself on the head. Ebony giggled again, and Pious quickly looked up, not wanting to miss the sight.

"Well, being on 'trial' is probationary. It happens when you're too old for the grade of your 'experience'. How old are you Pious?"

"Fifteen"

"There you go. I assume you've only just 'established' your powers?"

"Yes, my inhereted mutations were recessive until recently. Doctor Nemo says the genes multiplied last month, eventually dorminating. It's all ever so confusing, but hopefully I can come to understand it better from Biology lessons."

"You're on trial Pious, if you dont cut it after the first month, they'll evaluate your progress and demote your grade" she stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh I see."

"I'd hate to see you studying with students that are years younger than you."

"I swear to God, it'd be the worst!" Oh no, Sinn and Jason must not, and cannot see me, their elder brother as a put-back! "Well, hanging around and missing class is *not* going to retain my grade." Pious flicked open the folder with such force, the papers almost fly out. He was clearly, determined to learn. Running a finger through his timetable, he slammed the folder shut and said "Music".

"Lovely meeting you Ebony" he said, dreamily. "I'd stay and get more 'aquainted' but I gotta run."

Ebony just smiled. "Where's your luggage?"

"I dont have one.." he hesitated, contemplating whether or not to say more, "lets just say, the clothes you see me wear aren't real." he said, blushing slightly as Ebony chuckled. A faint giggling echoing from the distance.

"You know, those who can bypass your illusions will see you naked." The distant giggles grew louder.

"I wear boxers" indicating his backpack.

Pious obeyed, following Mrs Alexis to a chair. He couldn't help but look around the office and noticed an enclosed room, much bigger in size. On its door, was an inscription; it read "Dirigente".

Mrs Alexis' desk was positioned near a window, adjacent to the locked room. She's the secretary... I guess this Dirigente fella is Headmaster. I really should've read more on this, but P.E was all I was interested in.

"How old are you Pious?"

"Er, fifteen" his voice trailed off as he brought his thoughts back to reality. He'd almost forgotten the seriousness of his situation and feared punishment.

"Most students start here at at least eleven, why didn't you?"

"Oh, I can answer that one" he replied, masking his anxiety with pretentious confidence. "You see, unlike Sinn and Jason, my mutation has been dormant since birth. It only came about last month, funny story there actually-"

"Sinn and Jason Hunter? The twins?"

"Yeah"

A long silence followed, Mrs Alexis fixed her eyes on Pious, reading him thoroughly. This made him uneasy, he shifted nervously in his seat.

"You're British then?"

"Originally. We all moved here nine years ago. A funny story there actually-"

"Pious"

"Sorry"

"I'm letting you go with a warning; all forms of destructive drugs are forbidden from the school and should you be caught smoking again... well, may God have mercy on your shiny little hairs" she lectured, patting him on the head with a kind smile. Feeling ever so relieved Pious responded with a playful chuckle.

"Thanks miss, I promise never to smoke again."

"Good. Now go get your timetable, I have work to do."

"Yes Mrs Alexis."

She watched him calmly as he exited his seat and made for the door. "Do you know your way back? You'll be needing a swipe card from reception and I dare say, you've missed the tour."

"Oh course I do, just down here and through there, and then around a corner... the stairs should be somewhere around there" he lied, unconvincingly. Noting the look on her face, Pious added "I'll be fine miss."

"Whatever you say Pious."

* * *

He exited into the hallway, passing the staffroom once again. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, "NATOE!"

"Hey Pious, sorry I had to fly off on you. Couldn't risk getting kicked out of six schools in the space of two years; mum would go nuts."

Pious was speechless.

"I understand if you don't wanna talk to me." Natoe lights yet another cigarette. "I guess you wont want another one, will ya?"

The clock in Pious' head was ticking louder and louder.

"Look, if you're not gonna talk to me; I'm off"

Actually, the clock was attached to a bomb; his breathing doubled up, and he exploded.

"HOW WOULD YOU FELL" He snapped.

Blowing smoke in his face, Natoe laughed. "Denis, just chill. It's not like you're getting kicked out for it"

"THAT NOT THE (CENSORED) POINT IS IT!" he was wound up like a jack-in-the-box and this was jack's ugly side. "AND STOP CALLING ME DENIS"

"Fine, whatever" he pulls another long drag on the cigarette stick, "Just let it go; that's all I'm tryin' ta say" again, blowing the smoke into Pious' blood-red face. "Okay, so I bailed on you; but like I said, If my mum found out, she'd have gone nuts. She would tell my dad, at which point, trust me, all hell would break loose".

Pious was furious, the smoke didn't bother him, but the fact that a boy his own age... "You know what, forget you! You're nothing but bad news" and with that he stormed off.

He headed down the corridor, made a right and followed down some stairs he could only hope led to the foyer. Honestly Pious. Need to be careful who you make friends with, you're too easily influenced, he thought to himslef.

At the foot of the stairs, he saw the reception in the distance. The foyer was now deserted, save one boy heading aimlessly down a hallway.

"Hey, wait." Pious shouted over the foyer, sprinting across to meet him. "Are you new too?"

Mrs. Alexis led Pious down the corridors, up a flight of stairs and onto the first floor. They passed the staffroom and Pious spotted a huge man sitting in the lounge. He tried to avert his gaze to no success, he'd never seen a man so large.

"Mrs. Alee.. Alexis, who is that man?"

"Mr Stretto, he'll be your P.E teacher and possibly Basic Abilities, depending on your 'strengths'." Her voice was calm and friendly, despite the situation. "Large isn't he?"

"Very", he replied absent-mindedly, his thoughts elsewhere. He's the only teacher I actually read about... he'll teach me to be swifter, I'll learn hurdle, stamina and ultimately, superspeed.

"Face where you're going, Pious." At this, Pious walked into a wall.

"Ow" he said, rubbing his forhead. "How did you know my na-"

"Your name's written all over you Pious, in due time you'll come to see it too." They entered a room with the word "Headmaster" incribed on the door. Mrs Alexis noticed the fear on Pious' face and added "Fortunately, you wont be subjected to Mr Dirigente today. Sit."

"Thank you very much... er"

"Mrs Alexis. Come with me."

Pious gulped and followed the lady, fearing what would follow. Oh God, if mum finds out, I'll be sidekicked and abandoned with the Devouring Earth all over again. And where the (censored) did Natoe run off to?! Jeez, I'm the invisible one and he manages an escape. Oh, I'll get him for this!

"Mrs Aleemis..."

"Alexis" she scowled, rather uncharacteristically.

"Terribly sorry. I just wanted... never mind". He deeply regretted smoking with Natoe, especially on first day. Jee, everything's going all wrong. I hope that pretty lady isn't hurt, I'd better find her later and apologies.

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((Just as a reminder,when i was reading through Pious' last piece i saw him talking for both his and Natoes character,please leave any dialogue from characters other than your own to their player))

[/ QUOTE ]

((Gaz (Natoe) is here on MSN; we're kinda writing together... is that okay? prolly shud've said. By the way, this Open RP stuff is great fun! creativity (both character-wise and situations) is just zapping around the thread. ))