NekoAli

Hey now... This is single occupancy cleavage.

ugh, Monday. Another fitful night of sleep for me, ending up with my waking up at way to early o'clock when I couldn't get back to sleep. So now I sit here, working, feeling all tired and bleh.

Double XP was good for me. I made a DP/Device blaster named Grindhouse Katt and got her to level 11. Then a Necromancy/Pain domination Mastermind named Doctor Zauberei (actual a remake of an old character) and got her to 8. So I'm happy with that.

*forgoes the coffee and curls up in Detra's cleavage for a nap*

Nah, it's an old model, and I got it used off of ebay, soooo. It had a good run, *sniff*

Hi everyone. I've been cracking the whip on Double XP myself. Grindhouse Katt has been a levelling fiend, and I finally got around to remaking my necromantic mad scientist mastermind Doctor Zauberei yesterday. Much better now with the stuff from the mad science pack and Pain Domination.

I've come to a sad realization that I've been putting off for a while. My Xbox 260 died a few months ago. That good old RROD. I kept my stuff around thinking I could eventually get a new one, but I see that, barring getting a sudden increase in my pay rate, I just won't be able to afford one anytime... probably until the Xbox version 3 comes out... in a few years, maybe. So I'm going to have to get rid of my games and stuff. No ever finishing Arkham Asylum or Brutal Legend for me. I guess I'll see what the resale market is, see if I can get a decent price at Gamestop or I'll sell on ebay. I should go through my old gaming stuff again too and sell more of that off. Horray for being broke.

Here you can have all the grape ones. I never liked the candygrape flavor.

That's okay, Rotten. All I have are these Pez Pistols anyway... Want a strawberry one?

*chaka*

Eeek! Zombies!

*pulls out dual pistols and starts firing away at the zombies*

*whips out her pez guns, spins them and opens fire at Orchid's meeting*

chaka-chaka-chaka-chacka-chaka

There, that should take care of them!

Thankee thankee. I do feel pretty darn good today. And I really want real versions of those gun/pez dispensers.

*dives through an upper story window and lands in a roll in the middle of the Rookery. Whipping out a pair of dual pistols, she spins and flips acrobatically, firing hundreds of Pez candies all around the room and coming to a rest by the coffee machines*

Good morning everyone. Time to work out some Dual XPeas!

Inspiration comic:

*gives hugs to Demoncaller*

Dealing with crowds isn't that much fun, I know hon. I don't deal well with them either, which is why I usually try to stick to smaller functions and not things like sporting events or bars or such. Conventions are fun though.. it does help I find to remind yourself that those other people are there for the same reasons you are there, to meet people with similar interests and have fun. And most of them are probably nervous about being around a lot of people too.

*adjust the tiara around her ears.*

I wonder who gave this to me? I don't see anyone here...

Thank you Philly. Unfortunately, some people see us as more of a 'what', but.. That's actually not what I meant when I said that. Perhaps saying 'because of my condition' would have been better?

Anyway, I'm actually going out tonight all dressed up. Or as dressed as I can right now. I will probably be getting some ah... 'chest enhancements' in the near future. So at least I'll still have something while I'm developing. I'm still avoiding a wig for now, it's to expensive and I probably wouldn't wear it long enough to justify the expense.

I'm not going anywhere fancy. Just to a friend's for dinner, and then our support group meeting. But it's the first time going out done up to the extent that I am. I rarely wear much makeup, if any... So it should be interesting. Fear hasn't stopped me from doing what I really want before, it won't stop me from being who I really am now.

Yay Maru! She's so cute.

And naturally I'll be playing my new DP/Devices character this weekend, Grindhouse Katt. She is a former Longbow operative who was genetically experimented on by combining her DNA with that of a snow leopard, to make her faster and more agile.

*giggles*

That's cute, VexXxa

Curses Pogo.. That would have paid off my debts and set me up for my future medical expenses. Time to plan that bank robbery I guess.

And I lost Ryo-Ohki during one of my moves, Fedor. I don't exactly remember what happened to her, but at some point I didn't have her anymore. I want another one...

*picks up Fedor and hugs him tightly*

I really need to get a new plushie to hug when I'm feeling sad or scared... I don't have Ryo-ohki or my bear anymore and that makes me sad.

Also Pogo... there is um.... a slight fee for my advice. I figure about $50,000 should cover it. You know, when your brother in law pays you back.

Ummm. I'm guessing you have to buy it for each account Pogo. That is the way it usually works with expansions, and I haven't heard anything to the contrary. When I bought my copy yesterday it asked me which account I wanted to apply it to. I used to have two active copies, but since they gave us more slots, I don't use the one any more. And with things like this, the software doesn't matter as much as how they flag your account. And you only get one code, so.... I'm thinking you would have to buy it for every account.

Thank you Shecky. And I know that life is full of risk no matter who you are. On the other hand. I'm just adding more risk on top of myself because of what I am... You've got your garden variety psychos, people who hate women, people who hate homosexuals, and people who hate trans people... it doesn't happen so much with adults really. And I was picked on and attacked often enough when I was in school because of the way I acted. But when it does happen to adults... it usually winds up pretty bad. Not just a beating in the school yard.

I'm scared. Even if my town seems fairly safe and open. You never really know. And as I said, I'm emotionally all over the place these days, so it's only magifying things and making them seem worse than they already are.

No.. no scary movies here. I'm frightened by something much worse. People and real life. I didn't sleep well again last night. And I'm having trouble eating lately.

sigh... I really don't want to turn this place into a venue for my issues.. It's really not the place. I wanted to come up with a happy and fun topic. But no matter what these days, I can't shake the near pants-wetting terror I feel almost all the time lately. I wish I could afford to see my therapist.

You see, I've been on a kick lately for reading webcomics about people like me. On one hand, I find them to be very relateable and encouraging. On another hand, I find a bit of pointless jealousy, since naturally these characters always pass unless there is a story reason they don't. But that's silly and minor.

And finally, the problem being that they are also scaring the crap out of me. And I mean a real, personal and immediate fear. When making stories about TG people, the fact of violence often comes up. It is one of the biggest fears, and justifiably so.

So I'm caught between feelings of intense longing to be more myself openly and expressing myself more, and absolute terror in the seeming almost certainly that doing so could get me attacked, ***** and/or killed. I'm trying to fight it, but the hormones and mood swings sure aren't helping. Yet through the terror, I know going back won't work anymore. I can't go back to hiding. I want to shout it to the world and correct the people that see me wrong... but I know if I do, eventually someone is going to take offense. And the results could be... very bad.

I'm sorry to be such a downer. But you people are my friends, and you've been so understanding of me. I just.. I have to keep getting these things out so I can keep them from becoming to overwhelming. I'm sorry.

*peeks out from under her covers, clutching a Fedor-plushie tightly*

Is it safe to come out yet? Are you sure? I'll just.. stay under here until I know it's safe.

*pulls the blanket back over her head.

*picks up Fedor and carries him over to her kitteh bed for night time snugglings*

Good night everyone.

Awww, that's just plain adorable, VexXxa, thanks

..... SQUEEEE!

Oh my god Rad, that picture is just too, too adorable... I love you for it!

Do you need more than the possible 36 slots now? If so... have you considered an intervention?

eh.. I don't see a reason for waiting. Sure you don't get the extra bonus stuff if you pre order.. but it's $10 cheaper. And then once it goes live, they are giving you all the extra stuff as a $10 extra content pack, minus the free time of course. Seems like a win deal to me.