Manofmanychars

"Merry Christmas!"

Come on, you know he'd never say it, not even to be sarcastic.

"You'll put your eye out, kid."

As if he cares.

"Bring me some figgy pudding already!"

We all know he's allergic to figs.

Just put points into Juggernaut's Might ability and have him move it. Oh, wait, wrong superhero game, don't need to get the CoH/V guys sued by Marvel... again....

How did this thread get to page 4? Get writing! I'm thinking about something, and I'd like to be able to post it when I've finished.

By the way, here's some info from back in beta on the average chance for a critical. This chance stacks with Scrapper inherent critical's chance, and the damage stacks with Stalker critical damage, when both crits land.

Head Splitter: 15%
Eviscerate: 5%
Eagle's Claw: 15%
Golden Dragonfly: 15% (may have changed, since GD used to be Head Splitter when Katana and BS were the same)
Full Auto (doesn't show as critical, just does a few more shots, may have been removed): 10%

Note: Eagle's Claw used to do lethal for its critical, which seemed more thematic, IMO. Also, Dark Melee and Spines have no extra crit chance powers (sorry, no crits for the brutes).

Bump.

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(can't remember if I, or someone else, has already done this but what the heck)

<singing> " I'm So Ronery
I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone

There's no one
Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I work very hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems that no one takes me serirousry"

Apologies to 'Team America, World Police'

[/ QUOTE ]

Nope, that hasn't been done. On the live boards. I remember the guy on the beta boards that posted the whole song.

I liked the part where Jenkins had to kill his Praetorian counterpart for Nemesis. That was kinda sad, though. By the way, Jenkins' many other exploits include dating and breaking up with the Kraken, leading his own villain group, being blown up by his Cheetos (thanks to the Malta and a timebomb), gang-[censored] S&M style by Dominatrix, rejected by the Rikti (their probes were useless thanks to Dominatrix), made to wear magical panties by the carnival of shodows, sexually assaulted by a Hercules-class titan, and buried in caltrops by the Knives of Artemis. Also, he defeated a Hellion with a fire extinguisher. Also, due to the first Jenkins post (where he was referred to as "Psycho Flame") there have been a few references to a power over fire that Jenkins may possess, and a Vahzilok-induced mega-regeneration that may explain how he manages to not die, despite his tendency to wind up in situtations that make Wile E. Coyote grateful for what he gets.

Manofmanychars, including a Jenkins expert.

Bump!

This one is a bit paraphrased, and the ending is different, but it is still a pretty reasonable facsimile of the Monty Python "Parrot Sketch."

(Lord Recluse walks into a pet shop and throws Mako onto the counter. Mako is dead.)

Lord Recluse: I would like to make a complaint. This mutant shark you sold me is dead.

Pet store clerk: No, it's not dead, it's just sleepin'.

LR: He's not sleeping, he's dead. He has ceased to be. He has died and gone to meet his maker. This is an ex-mutant shark!

PSC: Look we're all out of mutant sharks, you'll have to go to my brother's shop in Bolton.

(In Bolton, the pet store looks exactly the same, and the Pet shop clerk's brother looks just like him, except he has a mustache.)

LR: Is this the pet shop in Bolton?

PSC2: No, this is Ipswitch.

(at the train station)

LR: Hello, I'd like to make a complaint, I got on the train to Bolton, and it brought me to Ipswitch.

Guy at complaints desk: This is Bolton.

LR: (close-up and dramatic music) The pet shop owner's brother was lying!

GACD: Well, that's hardly my problem, is it?

(back at pet shop)

LR: Hey, this isn't Ipswitch, it IS Bolton.

PSC2: Sorry, it was a... what is it when it's the same backwards and forwards?

LR: A palindrome? Ipswitch isn't a palindrome of Bolton, a palindrome of Bolton is Notlob! That's it! (Vaporizes shop clerk with a death ray) Say hello to the mutant shark for me.

You know what Aracnos needs? More Cowbell.

Wow, I'm flattered that someone copied my stuff. Anyway, that thing about the Goldbrickers is actually a reference to a thread that got buried during the first wave of beta. It was basically a thread that posited that Goldbrickers were really lazy Sky Raiders (I forgot what the reasoning behind it was). And the thread I referred everyone to back in my second post is no longer in existence, so you're out of luck there. If someone restarts Creeper's Inn, I'll be there, and then you can refer to it to find out about the guy there that Jenkins was working for, but he was basically a Necro/Dark MM. Okay, time for another wacky adventure with everyone's favorite quitter. Also, I think that the "Hired Jenkins" badge should come with a Jenkins gladiator for the arena.

Jenkins: Um, hello, Mr. Energy Beast?
Gremlin: Bzzt?
Jenkins: Uh, yeah, I'm turning in my two-weeks notice, sorry. This just isn't the kind of work environment I'm comfortable in. I can't understand what anyone's saying.
Gremlin: Bzzzzt!
Jenkins: See what I mean? I'm not even made of energy, I've just been covered in reflective tape for the past month.
Gremlin: Bzzt? BZZZZT!

(A whole crapload of energy demons appear around Jenkins)

Jenkins: Oh, bloody hell....

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Sorry about this screw up. I wanted you guys to test it before it went to Live to see if it made MM's too powerful.

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Thanks for the fix, but Posi we are the weakest of all ATs. It would take a major increas in our damage output to make us too powerful.

The PVP Robot bug is still there though. I tested it earlier. Lasers fire, the victim does the animation of being hit but NO Damage. I can not PVP. This is a PVP game and I cant PVP. There are rewards for PVP I can not recieve. Part of the game is essentially shout off from me. We need this fix REALLY soon.

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Two responses to this.

1. Against that idiot computer, we send good guys packing. In DROVES. The only time my MMs ever die is when they're outside with no henchmen, and they aggro some enemies accidentally. Or in PvP, because other players are too smart to attack pets, and they'll attack you directly.

2. Just because we have a few zones for PvP, and an arena, does not mean this is a PvP game. The PvP is a bonus, not an integral part of this game. You want to see a PvP game, go play WoW and get ganked for a few weeks straight, then tell me what a PvP game is. This game is around 20% PvP, and 80% PvE. Sorry, but I get a bit hostile about PvP, I'm what you might call "opinionated" on the subject. CoH/V is a game with PvP, not a PvP game. Anyway, yes, that bug with your robots should be looked at, since PvP is a decent chunk of content. Until then, try the Gladiator mode for your MM PvP fix, it works pretty similarily, except you need special Gladiator badges for it.

(to Mako) How many times do I have to tell you? No corpses in the base!

We shall show those heroes how evil we... evil people... are... and stuff... uhhhh...
...
...
...
SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULES!!!

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Jenkins... Leeroy Jenkins.

Now gimme some Kentucky Fried Chicken!

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Just in case you didn't know, all references to Jenkins in CoV threads is to a character in a series of stories about the man who has joined and quit EVERY villain group in existance. That man is Jenkins. The guy even posed as a Malta Titan by wearing cardboard boxes covered in tinfoil. Someone should be posting the copied stories of Jenkins soon, so you may then join the Jenkins Conspiracy (we're trying to badgify him).

The mapserver's here? And me with my old computer and dial-up inter-(disconnects)

Greetings, I've just recently recovered from both a concussion and third-degree burns, I assume you all remember the trap door.

Anyway, I do believe I've been too coherent, so I'll need to pick up the slack.

Eiuvrewghiehfriqhor!!!

That should clear things up (pulls out a tea cozy and begins to eat it).

I repeat my previous post, and add this addendum: you crazy sumbitches (I can just tell they're going to find some way to use that in this excersise in madness...).

I truly, truly, TRULY despise you all....

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The connection between them (as well as many other secrets about the Cleric Droids and Lorants) is revealed in "Web of the Manchusans", coming this winter in paperback from Cryptic Press.

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Not again! That's all RAT INCOME
posts about these days.

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Wait a minute, I think this guy may have given me the codex to deciphering this crazy-talk! Rat Income is an anagram of Manticore, which makes sense, since the book mentioned is based on, "The Web of Arachnos." So... wait. Mancusans=Arachnos? But Arachnos is CoV-only right now... BLAST, foiled again! What does all of this mean?! Are you people on the wacky tobacky?! You're those dirty communist hippies, aren't you, trying to conquer this thread for your forum cartel! Well it ain't gonna work! You may have Cuppajo on your side, but Statesman don't play the crazy game, sucka!

NDA lifted... typed out everything I know about CoV beta... called "Total Overview of CoV(beta)".... (collapses from strain of typing all the info for CoV)

Character Name:Haywire

Server: Protector

Archetype:Scrapper

Inspiration: I knew I needed a cool name for my tech hero, and Haywire jumped to mind. I designed the character around the name. He's a cyborg with a robot personality along with the human one. The robot one is, of course, insane. Yeah, it's not an amazing inspiration, but it made a pretty cool hero.

Three questions from me:

1. Will player heroes with particularly good origin stories ever get a mention in the game? The stories for my characters revolve heavily around the story of the game, without being so stand-out as to shoehorn themselves in. For example, my magic hero used to work for the Circle of Thorns, but didn't know about the human sacrifices until early-on during the ritual that the Dream Doctor stopped in the timeline. My hero turned himself in, but was trained by Ajax instead, to help combat evil. So, will things like that ever get integrated into the story, or will we just have to pretend that all these things happened?

2. Will heroes, at level 50, get to talk to a GM to create a personalized mission or something? It would certainly make the end-game content better.

3. I remember seeing a plaque in Boomtown mentioning that there was a superadine lab that the Freedom Phalanx shut down, and swore a vow of secrecy over what they saw. Will there ever be any in-game content that shows us what they saw? If you say that we'll find out more about it in, "The Web of Arachnos," I'm going to take your quote out of my sig.

Ok, for the people thinking CoV is an expansion, uninstall CoH, install CoV when it comes out. You'll be able to play CoV without even using ONE line of code from CoH, but you will not be able to play CoH. With other game expansions, they add to an EXISTING game. CoV adds another game entirely, that can interact with the first. Would you prefer CoV to NOT interact with CoH? Would you rather just be limited to PvE options? I have no respect for obtuse people like you, because you go out of your way to find something wrong with a good thing. Now, the devs have said they hope for a $3-5 increase to a subscription fee, if you have both games, to pay for the extra employees they'll have to run CoV. That's where a good deal of your CoH account goes, too. Expansions to games like EQ rarely need new employees to run them. CoV is an, "expanshalone," where it can be used as a stand-alone, OR as an expansion to CoH. So, anyone harping on that fact does NOT HAVE TO BUY IT. So, I'm going to ask all of the people that are upset about having to pay a small fee for CoV to leave this thread, before it degenerates into a childish flame war. Buy CoV, or don't buy it, I couldn't care less. Just stop whining about having to pay for 88 new character slots (8 characters on the villain versions of the 11 servers).

Awww, but I want to drive people crazy with things like that! I've always envied the devs' ability to drive others mad with anticipation through absolute and total vagueness and evasion of the subject. Some samples:

"We're currently looking into it (it being whatever the people are talking about), and shall adress it if something comes up."

"It was their (the devs) original intent to do that (that being whatever's being talked about)."

"Soon."

"You can find out more (no matter what the subject is, see my sig, it's a real answer from Manticore to a question someone asked regarding the pen & paper CoH RPG he's plugging, now) in the new novel, 'The Web of Arachnos.'"