Lord_Nightblade

OOC: ah dang, i wanted to use Jenkins, lol.

Taking on the Crab Spiders left Lord NightBlade tired. He flew over to a deserted guard tower on the eastern side of the prison yard and landed on the roof for some much needed rest. As he was resting his friend in the navy called and informed him that 12 F-35 fighters were 15 minutes from the Zig and that each was equipped with the latest in air-to-air and air-to-ground anti-Super missiles. He surveyed the action in the prison yard and noted that the heroes and villains were in a stalemate despite the heroes' best efforts ((OOC: really a stalemate is all the villains need in order to distract the heroes and allow Recluse's Destined Ones to escape)). Hopefully the arriving F-35s would tip that balance in the heroes' favor.

NightBlade then began thinking of contingency plans in case the Navy wasn't enough. He could have the Air Force come in and start carpet bombing the prison, but that was far too risky for the surrounding neighborhoods and his fellow heroes. He could get the automated defenses back on line, but most of them had been irreperably destroyed allready. Then he had it. He would try to restore power to the prison's cell blocks and reweave the wards in the magic cell block to prevent more villains from escaping. He would need help though. Activating his broadcast headset and the military grade encryption device, NightBlade put out a call to the heroes in Brickstown. "This is Lord NightBlade. I have a plan to stem the flow of prisoners from the Zig, but I'll need help. I need someone with advanced technical skills and a magic user with knowledge of binding wards. Anyone fitting the profile should meet me at the east guard tower in the prison yard ASAP."

Recluse: Well shake it up baby now!

Ghost Widow, Sirocco, Mako, and Scorpion: Shake it up baby!

Recluse: Twist and shout!

All: Twist and shout!

Recluse C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon baby now!

All: Come on baby!

Recluse: Work it on out!

All: Work it on out!

Recluse: Aaaaahhhh
Ghost Widow: Aaaaahhhh
Sirocco: Aaaahhhh
Mako: Aaaahhhh
Scorpion: Aaaahhhh
All: WAAAAAOOOH!

A lesser man would have started screaming for Jesus, Allah, Buddah or any other deity to save him from certain demise. As it was, Lord NightBlade took one look at the Crab Spiders circling him in mid-air and said only one thing. "EEP!" The Spiders simultaneously attacked him and it took all of his abilities to evade the most damaging attacks. Cut off in all directions, NightBlade saw only one way out. He went into a rapid spin, throwing his cape out and momentarily confusing his opponents. Then he cancelled his flight and dropped straight toward the ground and out of the ring of Crab Spiders. The timing of this manouver had to be perfect, otherwise he would become a pavement pancake. The ground was quickly apporaching, and at the last possible second NightBlade reactivated his flight abilities and zomed across the prison yard bare inches from the ground.

The Crab Spiders were in hot persuit, firing heavy lasers that often missed their target by a hair's breadth. In the midst of the chaos, NightBlade heard a familiar voice. "Lord NightBlade! Lord NightBlade! Are you still there? NightBlade! Answer dammit!" He'd almost forgotten he had Admiral Fisher on his phone still. "Admiral, I'm fine. For the time being anyway. We have a situation at the Zig, I need you to have the USS Enterprise scramble her new squadrons of F-35s and send them over to provide air support pronto! Arm them with the new X-AS Neurodyne missiles, the ones that can overload the synaptic pathways of super powered combatants and render them unconsious. We need them now Admiral!"

NightBlade hung up and put all of his concentration into fighting the Crab Spiders. He drew his katana and reversed his course, flying straight at the Spiders. Crab Spiders are highly trained soldiers and Lord NightBlade knew that if he wanted to escape the situation he would have to out fly and out smart them. He charged at the Spiders, using his sword as a distraction. With his left hand, he subtly removed and armed two web grenades. He and the spiders flew full speed toward each other in a super powered game of chicken. At the last minute, he spiraled past the Spiders and threw his web grenades at the two leading soldiers. The webbing wasn't enough to bring down the two Spiders, but it was enough to severely throw off their flight pattern, and they crashed full speed into a guard tower. If they weren't dead, they had enough broken and shattered bones to spend 6 months in the Paragon ICU. The remaining four Crab Spiders went into a berserk rage upon seeing the defeat of their comrades. NightBlade taunted them, "Catch me if you can mota suckas!" With that, he flew off, four very pissed Crab Spiders on his tail. He flew them all over the prison yard and gradually worked them toward some high tension powerlines. Weaving in and out of the lines following the black clad hero, the Crab Spiders became entangled in the lines, each cursing NightBlade and swearing vengence. Not one to take chances like that, NightBlade found some heavy duty wire and dropped it onto the lines, completing the electrical circut.

Half of Brickstown lost power.

((OOC: Yay my very own squad of Crab Spiders! Lord NightBlade is a mutant katana/reflexes scrapper for those of you who may not be clear yet. his mutant genes give him is reflexes and flight ability while his swordsmanship is from years of hard training. He's independantly wealthy like Manticore, which is why he can afford the goodies like the shuriken and web grenades))

Recluse: B-E-N-D-E-R! BEEEENDER! B-E-N-D-E-R! BEEEEEENDER!

sorry folks, been watching a crapload of Futurama lately, a show tragically cancelled before its time

Aftert he freed himself from the catwalk, Lord NightBlade went to part of the prison yard where few heroes had ventured. Arachnos soldiers were highly trained and well equipped to fight heroes, but Recluse tended to train them to fight certain hero profiles. Fliers were typically blasters or defenders, while melee oriented scrappers and tankers tended to be jumpers. Thus they didn't expect NightBlade to come streaking at them bare inches from the ground, tritanium katana drawn. The soldiers fell like wheat before a scythe as he swept thru the prison yard. Then he shot upward, looking fore more assault helicopters and dropships to take down.

The scene that greeted him was something out of the lowest depths of hell. Rioting prisoners were beating the pulp out of guards. Flaming wreckage from copters and dropships was scattered throughout the yard and a massive group of heroes was leading a coordinated assault on the Arachnos positions, going head to head with the big fellow with the cybernetic implants, who had just proclamed himself Wolf Spider Warrior. The remaining Arachnos air support appeared to be in full retreat after suffering heavy losses.

NightBlade decided that the void left by the retreating copters should be filled, and he knew just the right way to do it. The news earlier that day reported that the carrier USS Enterprise was off the coast of Rhode Island field testing two squadrons of the new F-35 Joint Strike Fighter. What better way than to pit them against Arachnos? He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number of a friend in the Department of Defense. "Hello, Admiral Fisher? It's Lord NightBlade. We have a situation at the Zig."

As he hung by his sword from the catwalk, exauhsted from dodging shrapnel caused by a massive explosion, Lord NightBlade took a moment to more carefully observe his precarious situation. He was hanging above a group of Arachnos soldiers, yet the soldiers hadn't attacked him or made any threatening moves. He'd been hanging there long enough to be spotted by them and he was puzzled by the fact that they obviously hadn't. Then he noticed the fog surrounding the soldiers, it was thin, almost imperceptible, yet it was there and it was blocking their vision. Long enough for him to fall asleep it seemed.

"I fell asleep," he said to himself. "I can't believe I FELL ASLEEP in the midst of all this noise and all of the crap going on in the air and on the ground. And I dreampt about Care Bears. What the hell is up with that?! I freaking HATE the Care Bears! Oh Christ I hope there weren't any psychics who caught that one. I'll kick the crap out of them if they go public with that!"

The words gave him a second wind, and NightBlade was determined that he wouldn't die in this humiliating position. Calling upon his mutant gene he started flying. He tugged on his sword but it was firmly imbedded in the concrete of the catwalk. He flew up several hundred yards from his katana and went into a powerdive straight at the hilt. His hands wrapped around the smooth leather handle and he shut off his flight ability, letting his momentum and gravity add to his strength. The blade ripped free of the concrete, sending a large chunk falling into the group of Arachnos, crushing the legs of one hapless soldier. His katana at last free, NightBlade reactivated his flight power and continued his power dive into the group of soldiers. They opened fire on him with their sub-machine guns, but he dodged their fire effortlessly. Three soldiers looked on in shock as they found their guns suddenlt cut cleanly in two while the other four cried in pain as they suddenly found shuriken painfully lodged in their shoulders.

Lord NightBlade was still hanging from his katana when suddenly there was a flash of bright light in the prison yard. From that light emerged a 6 foot tall anthropomorphic teddy bear. In a voice that could be heard around the world, the bear proclamed that its name was Harmony Bear and that it was from a race of beings known as the Care Bears who went through the universe and spread happyness and joy. Then Harmony Bear broke into song and all of the villains and heroes immediately stopped fighing and started hugging each other and promising to never fight again. China renounced Communism, Castro resigned as Cuba's president and tyrants all over the world declared they would give up their power and become florists. Lord NightBlade felt all warm and fuzzy all over....

Then he woke up. NightBlade realized that he had drifted off to sleep amid the chaos of the prison break. He was still hanging by his katana from a concrete catwalk. He was still over a large group of Arachnos. He was still royally screwed. "Holy crap," he muttered, "someone get me the hell out of here."

Recluse: My bologna has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R. My bologna has a second name, it's H-O-M-E-R...

We see Jenkins in Steel Canyon, fresh from his latest resignation/asskicking. As he sits thinking of what evil organization he'll try to join next, our plucky antihero notices a group of people dressed in matching Medieval armor and carrying a variety of strange, large weapons. Unfamiliar with this particular organization of evil, he goes to investigate and see if the group is worth joining.

Jenkins: Uh...hi there guys I...GAH!! Don't hurt me! I just want to ask your leader some questions!

Dungeon Master: I am the Dungeon Master, leader of this, the Raven's Claw Band. Speak your questions peasant!

J: The Raven Claw Band? Are you guys devoted to spreading good or evil throughout the world?

DM: We are dedicated to thwarting good and seeing that evil always triumphs over good and their puppies!

J: Evil eh? I like the sound of that. Are you powerful?

DM: Powerful? POWERFUL?! HA HA HA! My good man all in this group posess magical items of incredible power and I posess and artifact of awesome power indeed!

J: Oh yes! That sounds perfect! Are you looking for new members?

DM: The Raven Claw Band is always looking for members to spread unhappiness in the world! Come, good sir, and we shall initiate you into our band!

Just then a hero walks into the group

Hero: Excuse me chaps, can you tell me what time it is?

DM: Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod! A real live hero! Can i have your autograph mister? Can I can I can I?

H: Sure lil buddy, here ya go.

DM: YAY! Thank you thank you thank you!

H: No problem, now I'm off to thwart evil!

J: What the hell was that?! You're a band dedicated to evil why didn't you kick that hero's [censored]?!

DM: What are you talking about? We don't have super powers.

J: WHAT?! You just told me you have a powerful magic atrefact!

DM: Yeah, in Dungeons and Dragons, not in real life. Jeeze man, you're pathetic.

The group of D&D players walks off, leaving Jenkins shaking his head

J: Bloody hell.

Recluse: People of Earth, I...ooh, those cookies i got in Amsterdam are coming back on me....Woah! (waves his hands in front of his face) My hands are, like, HUGE! And they can touch anything but themselves! (his hands touch each other) WOAH! You know...they call them fingers, but I've never seen them [censored]...oh there they go...

Under normal circumstances, Lord NightBlade would have been able to dodge the incoming rockets fired by the dropship, but since they were aimed at the pile of rubbe he was using as a cover there was no chance of that happening. He knew he could dodge area of effect atacks, but in the past those had been small grenades, not half a dozen high explosive rockets. Plus such efforts left him extremely tired. As he braced himself for the coming explosion, NightBlade remembered the Cryonite Armor device he purchased from Cooke's Electronics the day before. He wasn't sure how effective the armor would be, but he needed anything that could increase his chances of survival, no matter how slightly.

He activated the device and leapt from the rubble pile a split second before the rockets hit. The force of the explosions sent him hurtling through the air and he twisted and contorted his body to avoid the flying shrapnel and debris. The suit of ice armor that covered his body was surprisongly effective at absorbing the heat and energy of the initial blast, but was quickly overloaded and suffered a catastrophic failure. By that time, however, most of the danger to NightBlade had passed, he had a few cuts from shrapnel that had grazed him but he was relatively unscathed. He even managed to hold on to his katana. But the effort to dodge all of the flying debris left him drained and as such he did not have the energy to stop his uncontrolled flight caused by the detonation. He slammed into the bottom of a concrete catwalk, saved from falling only by his blade, which had been lodged into the concrete by the foce of the blast and to which he clung for dear life. Below him was a mass of Arachnos soldiers and he prayed to whatever force that was in charge of the Universe that another hero would come along and help him.

Recluse: Black Scorpion, have you heard the good news?

Sirocco: No my Lord, what is the news of which you speak?

Recluse: There's going to be a Star Trek convention at the Ice Palace in St. Martial! William Shatner and Leonard Nemoy will be there signing autographs! I'm going to dress up as a Klingon and enter the costume contest! It's going to be sooo much fun! (giggles with glee and claps his hands)

yet more python, true it isn't my idea, but to hell with originality:

Recluse looks down upon a beaten Statesman and breaks into song:

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of [censored]
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

The scene outside the prison yard was worse than a Star Trek convention that had run out of fake Spok ears. Instead of rioting geeks trying to take William Shatner's pants, there were dangerous criminals punching holes in walls with Arachnos assault helicopters providing air support. Outside the range of the helicopters flew Lord NighBlade, surveying all that was happening on the ground and in the air (and thinking himself quite clever for thinking up that Star Trek comparison, but we all know it wasn't all that clever). Clad in his black leather costume and duster hat, NightBlade had been on his way to Peregrine Island to aid Portal Corp. when he noticed the chaotic situation below.

After a final flyby of the area, he determined how he could best help Longbow contain the prison break. Fighing on the ground was out; not because he couldn't handle the mobs of prisoners, he is, after all, a man of extreme dexterity and agility, his mutation ehnanced reflexes almost giving him a sixth sense when avoiding the attacks of his enemies. Rather, he thought that Longbow agents were all sanctimonious jerks who needed a lesson in humility. Thus, Lord NightBlade was content to let Longbow handle the Arachnos soldiers, if only to teach them they weren't as invincible as they thought (especially around that big guy with the cybernetic implants coming out the wazoo and beyond). What was really bothering him though was the Arachnos air support. If the heroes got the upperhand in the battle, the copters could be used to create a distraction by attacking the neighborhood surrounding the prison. As he streaked toward the assault copters he simled and said to himself, "Arachnos should have checked the wather report before coming, cloudy with a 90% chance of rain mixed with flaming wreckage."

He zeroed in on his first target and drew his katana, a magnificent blade made of nearly indestructable tritanium composite. Getting past the copters' defenses to within melee range would be tricky, luckily he had a new trick he'd been working on. When Ms. Liberty gave all the heroes jet packs for Christmas, NightBlade did some calculations and figured out that, if properly used, the pack would act as an afterburner and dramatically increase his flight speed...or explode. Now he was going to put his calculations to the test. He pressed the jet pack's ignition button and shot through the sky going 5 times faster than normal. The strain on the pack was enourmous, its casing and harness not designed to handle the stresses of these speeds. NightBlade pushed the thought out of his mind as he approached his first target, weaving in and out of the craft's auto-tracking machine guns. He flew in under the helicopter's right enginge nacell and cut clean through the support strut holding it to the fuselage. The engine fell off and the copter wet into an unbalanced tailspin, crashing into the prison yard below.

Lord NightBlade came around for a pass at another helicopter when his jet pack began disintigrating. He quickly took it off and let the parts fall to the ground. Dodging the incoming fire from the copter became a lot harder and he hoped he could eliminate it before he got tired. Thinking quickly, NightBlade flew above the copter, removed two web grenades from his belt, and threw each grenade into the helicopter's spinning rotors. The grenades hit their mark and the webbing entangled each rotor, causing the copter to fall like a rock and crash into the prison's radar control building. NightBlade cursed at himself for not paying attention to the geography of the prison. He surveyed the situation on the ground and noticed that the Arachnos soldier with all of the implants was nowhere to be seen. NightBlade hoped he hadn't been alterted to his presence by the helicopters dropping from the sky.

If this were a cartoon, the cliff would have broken off by now...

You think you're SOOO tough don't you Statesman?! Well I bet even you couldn't beat my level 16 elf mage and his fire imp familiar!

And the Python continues:

Lord Recluse enters a villain shop.

Recluse: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Recluse: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Recluse: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Recluse: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Mako what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Mutant Man-shark...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Recluse: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Recluse: Look, matey, I know a dead Mako when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable villain, the Mutant Man-shark, idn'it, ay? Beautiful gills!

Recluse: The gills don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Recluse: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

'Ello, Mister Mako Man-shark! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Recluse: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Recluse: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Recluse: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO MAKO!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes Mako out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Recluse: Now that's what I call a dead Mako.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Recluse: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Mutant Man-sharks stun easily, major.

Recluse: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That Mako is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged swim.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the reefs.

Recluse: PININ' for the REEFS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Mutant Man-shark prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable villain, id'nit, squire? Lovely gills!

Recluse: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Mako when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that Mako down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its claws, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Recluse: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this Mako wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Recluse: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This man-shark is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-MAN-SHARK!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then.

(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)

Owner: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of man-sharks.

Recluse: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a Sirocco.

(pause)

Recluse: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it swim?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Recluse: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Paragon, he'll replace the man-shark for you.

Recluse: Paragon, eh? Very well.

Sirocco: So my Lord, what is the next step in your plan to conquer Paragon City?

Recluse: Sirocco, quick, bring me a pair of pantyhose, some whipped cream, a Tom Jones CD and 5 pairs of tonail clippers!

Sirocco: Brilliant my Lord! How will these things help the plan?

Recluse: What Plan?

Sirocco: Uuummmm...nevermind....

Statesman: So what are you going to do to me Recluse? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well do your worst!

Recluse: Release the Robotic Richard Simmons!

Soldiers: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!

Wolf Spider #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?

Soldiers: Burn her! Burn!

Recluse: How do you know she is a witch?

Wolf Spider #2: She looks like one.

Recluse: Bring her forward.

Ghost Widow: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.

Recluse: But you are dressed as one.

Ghost Widow: They dressed me up like this.

Soldiers: We didn't, we didn't.

Ghost Widow: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.

Recluse: Well?

Wolf Spider #1: Well, we did do the nose.

Recluse: The nose?

Wolf Spider #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!

Soldiers: Burn her! A witch! A witch! Burn her!

Recluse: Did you dress her up like this?

Soldiers: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, a bit, a bit.

Wolf Spider #1: She has got a wart.

Recluse: What makes you think she is a witch?

Wolf Spider #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.

Recluse: A newt?

Wolf Spider #3: I got better.

Wolf Spider #2: Burn her anyway!

Soldiers: Burn! Burn her!

Recluse: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.

Soldiers: Are there? What are they? Tell us, tell us. Do they hurt?

Recluse: Tell me, what do you do with witches?

Wolf Spider #2: Burn!

Soldiers: Burn, burn them up!

Recluse: And what do you burn apart from witches?

Wolf Spider #1: More witches!

Wolf Spider #2: Wood!

Recluse: So, why do witches burn?

[pause]

Wolf Spider #3: B--... 'cause they're made of wood...?

Recluse: Good!

Soldiers: Oh yeah, yeah...

Recluse: So, how do we tell whether she, is made, of wood?

Wolf Spider #1: Build a bridge out of her.

Recluse: Aah, but can you not also build bridges out of stone?

Wolf Spider #2: Oh, yeah.

Recluse: Does wood sink in water?

Wolf Spider #1: No, no.

Wolf Spider #2: It floats! It floats!

Wolf Spider #1: Throw her into the pond!

Soldiers: The pond!

Recluse: What also floats in water?

Wolf Spider #1: Bread!

Wolf Spider #2: Apples!

Wolf Spider #3: Very small rocks!

Wolf Spider #1: Cider!

Wolf Spider #2: Great gravy!

Wolf Spider #1: Cherries!

Wolf Spider #2: Mud!

Wolf Spider #3: Churches -- churches!

Wolf Spider #2: Lead -- lead!

Sirocco: A duck.

Soldiers: Oooh.

Recluse: Exactly! So, logically...,

Wolf Spider #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood.

Recluse: And therefore--?

Wolf Spider #1: A witch!

Soldiers: A witch! A duck! A duck!

Jenkins joins the Contaminated

Jenkins: So all i have to do to join your group is drink some water?

Stricken Brawler: So...thirsty

Jenkins: Uuuhhh...is that a yes?

Blighted: What? Oh, Jenkins, yes just drink some water and you'll be instantly powerful.

Jenkins: WOO HOO! So where is the water?

Blighted: Right here (motions to the sewage farm).

Jenkins: uuummm....behind the cesspool?

Blighted: No.

Jenkins: Is the water next to the cesspool?

Blighted: No, it IS the cesspool.

Jenkins: WHAT?! You gotta be kidding me!

Blighted: Just drink the water Jenkins.

Jenkins: Hell no! I'm not drinking water that used to be in the island's toilets! Look! A turd just floated by! You guys are sick! I'm leav-(Jenkins stops in midsentence when he notices the barrel of Blighted's shotgun pressed upon his right temple)

Blighted: DRINK THE WATER!!

Jenkins: Oh bloody hell!

Sirocco: So this is your old Boy Svouts uniform, my lord?

Recluse: Yes Sirocco, I've decided to place it on display to inspire the men.

Sirocco: That's quite an impressive number of badges you earned, my lord. (points at a large badge depicting various animals giving birth) What was this one for?

Recluse: Oh, that was my Animal Gynecology merit badge.

Sirocco:.......

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Merry Christmas! HO!HO!HO!....Ofcourse I didn't mean you Ghost Widow, I was refering to Silver Mantis. Honestly, if she will hang around with that stumble bum Black Scorpion.

[/ QUOTE ]

I realy don't understand why you all think Ghost Widow and Recluse have that kind of relationship...

[/ QUOTE ]

mostly because ghost widow is the only female LT serving directly under Recluse, in more ways that one it seems

Recluse: Who controls the British Crown? Who keeps the metric system down?

All: We do! We do!

Black Scorpion: Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps?

All: We do! We do!

Ghost Widow: Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?

All: We do! We do!

Scirocco: Who robs cave fish of their sight? Who rigs every oscar night?

All: We do! We dooooooo!