Lord_Nightblade

Recluse: We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.

Lord Recluse:
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to Ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me 'Sue.'


Well, he must o' thought that is was quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named 'Sue.'

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made me a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man that give me that awful name.

Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me 'Sue.'

Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' how do you do! Now you gonna die!"

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down but, to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.

I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.

And he said: "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I know I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said good-bye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's that name that helped to make you strong."

He said: 'Now you just fought one hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-[censored] that named you 'Sue'.'

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I come away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but sue! I still hate that name!

Recluse: A man may fight for many things. His country, his friends, his principles, the glistening ear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn.

Recluse: I would just like to announce that Jimmy has stopped cracking corn and I do care.

Mako walks up to a door, looking over his shoulder to see if he's being followed. He knockes gently.

Recluse: Who is it?

Mako: (whispering) Hey man it's Mako. Open up man I think the cops are following me.

No response comes. Mako knocks again.

Recluse: Who is it?

Mako: (whispering) It's..it's me man, Mako. Open up.

Recluse: Who?

Mako: (whispering) Mako, come on man I think the cops were following me!

Recluse: Mako's not here man.

Recluse: Can't we all just get a thong?

Recluse: Alright everyone, listen up. This plan is incase of an emergency. When everything fails A) Scream as loud as you can B) Run.

Ghost Widow: My Lord, am I pretty?

Recluse: (monotone) Were I undead I would take you in a manly fasion.

Ghost Widow: Because I'm pretty?

Recluse: Because you're pretty.

Lord Recluse (wearing a girls school uniform): Oops I did it again. I played with your heart, got lost in the game. Ooh baby, baby...

CRAM A BASTERD IN IT YOU LITTLE CRAP!!

Recluse: Sirocco! Assemble two full strike teams! I'll be leading them myself!

Sirocco: Right away my lord! What is the situation that requires so much firepower?

Recluse: Some little basterd in Aeon City thinks Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk and I'm going to teach him a lesson!

Recluse: Right right, now look here. This thread is getting too silly. I shall allow it to continue only on the condition that it not get any sillier. No one loves a good laugh more than I do, except my aunt, my father, my sister, the mayor...ok, so everyone likes a good laugh more than me, but that's not the point. From here on in, no more sillyness, or I shall have to shut this thread down. Right, carry on.

Lord NightBlade barely managed to avoid the blast from Wolf Spider Warrior, but took the opportunity to distance himself from the crazed woman and her eyes full of bloodlust. Warrior proclaimed that she was now the responsibility of the heroes in the area and promptly ran off toward an apporaching dropship. "Damn Arachnos cowards," NightBlade said to himself. "If he doesn't want answers that's fine by me."

Other heroes jumped into the fray, one of them bogged down the frenzied woman with increased gravity and pummeled her with a forklift. For a moment, it looked to NightBlade as if the woman was trapped. He could see her muscles straining to break free of the gravity field. He stepped close to see if he could interrogate her a bit before she was locked in a maximum security jail cell and under the jurisdiction of the Paragon Police. What he got was a backhand slap that sent him flying into a concrete wall when the strange woman finally managed to break free of the gravity. The blow had enough force behind it to dent the concrete. NightBlade was barely alive and in no condition to fight. He simply fell to the ground and was covered by a small pile of debris from the wall he'd just hit. The last thing he saw was the Arachnos dropships departing. The last thing he heard was Captain Davidson informing him that he would escort the Arachnos aircraft all the way back to Rouge Isles airspace. Then he fell into blissful unconsiousness.

((OOC: Well that's it for Lord NightBlade's debut adventure. I for one enjoyed it and hope I'll have an opportunity to bring him back in another thread. Ta ta for now ))

awww, poor Jenkins is all sad and neglected

The blow from Jord caught Lord NightBlade by surprise and sent him reeling back. He quickly recovered and again stood next to Wolf Spider Warrior, ready for the woman's next attack. He overheard Warrior's com informing him of an Arachnos evac flight inbound. Seconds later, Captain Davidson informed him that radar had picked up bogies incoming from the south. He was torn between ordering the fighters to engage the Arachnos flight and letting them escape unharmed. On the one hand, the dropships were violating U.S. soverignty and shooting them down would entirely justfied and would deal a huge blow to Lord Recluse. On the other hand, the Arachnos soldiers were helping combat the traitors that were beseiging the prison and ordering the F-35s to engage the dropships could cause Warrior to turn on him. NightBlade ordered the F-35s to escort the dropships to the Zig and escort them back out to international waters. They were not to be fired upon unless they made any overt threatening moves.

Refocusing on the fight before him, NightBlade went into a sudden flurry with his katana, designed to overwhelm the defenses of his target. The woman responded exactly how he expected and didn't realize the whole attack sequence was a feint until NightBlade lept into the air, over her head, and extended himself down, cutting a deep wound in her left shoulder.

With the threat of the kraken eliminated, Lord NIghtBlade wasn't sure who the next target should be. With the strange and seemingly random betrayals in the ranks of the Arachnos, Longbow, and heroes it was hard to determine who the real enemy was. The still loyal Arachnos had retreated into the prison and fromed choke points and fortefied positions to hold back their betrayers. The heroes and Longbow began forming defensive formatons and were gradually linking up with each other. He told the F-35s to patrol Paragon's airspace and shoot down any hostile aircraft attempting to reach the prison.

He spotted the Wolf Spider Warrior fellow just as he began fighting the strange woman who materialized earlier. The Warrior was responsible for the deaths of many heroes and NightBlade could use the distraction of his current battle to stick his katana in the soldier's back and end the threat he represented. But then he wouldn't get answers from the mysterious woman. Deciding the best course of action would be to help Wolf Spider Warrior first, NightBlade flew toward the struggle. As he neared, he heard Warrior shout, "Who the hell are you working for?" He flew to position himself on Warrior's right. Before he arrived, he threw his last shuriken at the woman, more as a sign to warrior that he was interested in helping him fight her. THe shuriken lodged itself in the woman's right thigh, and NightBlade landed next to Wolf Spider Warrior, blade drawn.

I'm kind of like Jesus, but not in a sacreligious way.

((OOC: oh, for those of you who aren't aviation fanatics like me and who were wondering what the hell an F-35 is, here's a gander F-35

The battle resumed when a woman materialized out of thin air. Lord NightBlade could have sworn he'd seen her board the wierd transport earlier... She focused on a hero and began wailing on him and that's when everyone went back to ripping eachothers' throat out. THe kraken was still knocked out cold by the X-AS missiles, but he wasn't sure for how long. "Captain Davidson, I need you to permanently eliminate the kraken threat. Do any of your planes carry conventional high explosive missiles or bombs?"

"Roger that NightBlade, half of the fighters are carrying ordinance with conventional warheads and one is carrying a bunker-buster smart bomb. They are guided missiles and we will need someone to pain the target."

"I copy, Davidson. Stand by for target aquisition."

NightBlade pulled out an extremely high powered laser one of his military subsidiaries was developing to be used in precisely this kind of situation (not blowing up a mythological monster per se, but using it to paint a target for guided missiles). It was still in the test phase since if overpowered, which constituted a AA battery, it leaked intense electromagnetic radiation that could interfere with missile guidance systems. NightBlade activated it and centered the beam on the top of the kraken's head. Seconds later, 6 smart bombs rocketed toward it, a bunker-buster in the lead. They all found their target, the bunker-buster punching a hole in the kraken's armor that let the otehr 5 bombs inside. A huge explosion rocked the Ziggurski to its very foundation and opened a huge crack in the prison reservoir. Little kraken bits rained down on the battlefield and once again everyone stopped to look at the massive crater that used to be the monster.

((OOC: It suddenly occurs to me that my charachter has caused more damage than the Arachnos assault, having accidentaly destroyed the Zig radar station with a dropship, blacked out half of Brickstown by entangling Crab Spiders in high tension powerlines and then killing them by completing the electrical circut, and now blowing a huge hole in the prison yard with F-35s.))

Mako, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

We find out intrepid hero...er villain...in a bar on singles night. Spotting a woman sitting alone, Recluse confidently saunters over and hits her with his best pick up line

Recluse: Hey baby, I find the most errotic part of a woman to be the boobies.

Lord NightBlade waited patiently for the heroes to answer his call, quietly observing the action in the prison yard to the south. Finally, one of the heroes called him and informed him that no one could be spared from the main battle. He hadn't thought of it before, but it made sense. So, he put in a call to the hero liason at city hall and informed her of his plan to regain control inside the prison. She quickly approved and informed him that a M.A.G.I., S.E.R.A.P.H., G.I.F.T., and other hero organizations would organize a task force to aid him. The Navy F-35s were minutes from the Zig and would greatly aid the heroes' progress. Then all hell broke loose.

It happened after an odd looking air transport took off. Arachnos started attacking other Arachnos, Longbow turned on Longbow, and hero attacked hero. Then out of no where, a massive kraken emerged from the open reservoir surrounding the Zig. And something was wrong with the emergency teleporter, critically injured heroes lay dying instead of being whisked to the ICU. "Could I have shorted out the system when I caused the Brickstown blackout? No, impossible, the system has redundancy after redundancy built into it."

Then he heard a voice in his ear. "Lord NightBlade, this is Captain Davidson, mission leader of the F-35s you requested. We are currently inbound, weapons hot. Please advice on targets for attack. Over."
"Captain, there is a kraken that has emerged from the reservoir in the south prison yard, make it your main target of attack. I'm not sure if it is real or holographic so I advise you to begin with a strafing run to assess the target and determine the best method of attack. Over."
"Roger that NightBlade"

Seconds later the 12 F-35s came over the war wall and streaked toward the prison yard, skimming the rooftops of Brickstown. When the kraken was in their sights, the opened up with their Vulcan guns. The depleted uranium slugs hit the kraken, covering it in small wounds, but having little effect other than making the thing even angrier. The fighters were forced to take evasive action as the nightmareish creature began hurling debris and even a hero at them. They would have to use the X-AS missiles against the thing. The missiles were designed to overload the synaptic pathways of the nervous system of superpowered individuals on the battlefield. DARPA tests had shown that they were capable of rendering even the strongest supers unconsious for 24 hours (72 hours when used agains normal people). Captain Davidson and his wingmates each launched an X-AS missile at the kraken, each finding its mark on the beast and flooding its neural pathways with energy. Amazingly, the missiles worked, and the thing was knocked out cold. Lord NightBlade stood dunbfounded, shocked that defeating the kraken would be so easy. Throughout the prison yard the combatants stood and stared at the limp creature equally amazed. The only question was, how long would the kraken remain unconsious?

Recluse: Ghost Widow, you've got some 'splaining to do!

ah one needn't be old to love the comedy perfection that is M*A*S*H (that is the early seasons before the show got all serious and depressing)

Lord Recluse: Statesman, before I kill you, there's just one thing I have to say...

Statesman: And what is that you evil [censored]?

Recluse: (singing) Did you ever know that you're my heeeeeroooo? You're everything IIIIII would like to beeee....

Recluse: Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.