Lord_Nightblade

(it's a long one folks)

Statesman: Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please.
Ghost Widow: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?
Statesman: No, this is my first time.
Ghost Widow: I see, well we'll see who's free at the moment. Mako is free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. No. Try Black Scorpion, room 12.
Statesman: Thank you.

He enters room 12.

Black Scorpion: WHADDAYOU WANT?
Statesman: Well, Well, I was told outside that...
Scorpion: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED EVIL PAN OF DROPPINGS!
Statesman: What?
Scorpion: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!
Statesman: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!
Scorpion: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!
Statesman: Oh! Oh I see!
Scorpion: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.
Statesman: Oh...Sorry...
Scorpion: Not at all! (under his breath) stupid git.

Statesman goes into room 12A. Lord Recluse is sitting behind a desk.

Statesman: Is this the right room for an argument?
Reclusepause) I've told you once.
Statesman: No you haven't!
Recluse: Yes I have.
Statesman: When?
Recluse: Just now.
Statesman: No you didn't!
Recluse: Yes I did!
Statesman: You didn't!
Recluse: I did!
Statesman: You didn't!
Recluse: I'm telling you, I did!
Statesman: You didn't!
Recluse: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?
Statesman: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.
R: Just the five minutes. Thank you. Anyway, I did.
S: You most certainly did not!
R: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you!
S: Oh no you didn't!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: Oh no you didn't!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: Oh no you didn't!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: Oh no you didn't!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: Oh no you didn't!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: Oh no you didn't!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: No you DIDN'T!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: No you DIDN'T!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: No you DIDN'T!
R: Oh yes I did!
S: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

(pause)

R: Yes it is!
S: No it isn't!

(pause)

S: It's just contradiction!
R: No it isn't!
S: It IS!
R: It is NOT!
S: You just contradicted me!
R: No I didn't!
S: You DID!
R: No no no!
S: You did just then!
R: Nonsense!
S: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
R: No it isn't!
S: Yes it is!
(pause)
S: I came here for a good argument!
R: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!
S: An argument isn't just contradiction.
R: Well! it CAN be!
S: No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a proposition.
R: No it isn't!
S: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.
R: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!
S: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't".
R: Yes it is!
S: No it isn't!
R: Yes it is!
S: No it isn't!
R: Yes it is!
S: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.
R: It is NOT!
S: It is!
R: Not at all!
S: It is!

Lord Recluse hits a bell on his desk and stops.

R: Thank you, that's it.
S: (stunned) What?
R: That's it. Good morning.
S: But I was just getting interested!
R: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.
S: That was never five minutes!!
R: I'm afraid it was.
S: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
R: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.
S: WHAT??
R: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
S: But that was never five minutes just now! Oh Come on! Oh this is... This is ridiculous!
R: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!
S: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.
R: Thank you.
S: (clears throat) Well...
R: Well WHAT?
S: That was never five minutes just now.
R: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
S: Well I just paid!
R: No you didn't!
S: I DID!!!
R: YOU didn't!
S: I DID!!!
R: YOU didn't!
S: I DID!!!
R: YOU didn't!
S: I DID!!!
R: YOU didn't!
S: I-dbct-fd-tq! I don't want to argue about it!
R: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!
S: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!
R: No you haven't!
S: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.
R: Not necessarily. I *could* be arguing in my spare time.
S: I've had enough of this!
R: No you haven't.
(door slam)

[ QUOTE ]
Everyone who is talking about Leeroy Jenkins should probably know that it was first used on World of Warcraft.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah but CoH Jenkins is better than WoW Leroy Jenkins Jenkins Conspiracy

Recluse: Hi Statesman. I was wondering if you'd like to buy some scout cookies from my little Ghost Widow here. If she sells the most boxes she wins a vacation to Rome and an audience with the Pope. So how many boxes can I put you down for?

Statesman: *cough* Why would I want *cough hack* some of those rancid [censored] cookies from yout little (hocks a loogie and lights a cigarett) brat?

Recluse: Well it's for a good cause. (door slams in his face) Oh, fine! Damn we can't even give these away. Aw to hell with it I'll just buy them all and make the men eat them.

Recluse: Statesman, do you ever have those days when you're not feeling so...fresh?

Statesman: I'm not sure I follow you...

Recluse: You know, days when you're...not on top of your game?

Statesman: I still don't know where you;re going with this...

Recluse: You know. Days when you're not fresh...down there...

Statesman: Oh. OH! No! God no!

Ghost Widow: So let me get this straight...Lord Recluse took a job as a telemarketer to make extra money?

Sirroco: Yeah, today is his fisrt day on the job.

Recluse: Hello sir. I'm calling on behalf of Cinguquaal and I was wondering if you...What the? (sobbing) He hung up on me! (more sobbing) What did I do to deserve that? (breaks down crying)

Recluse: BLAST YOU STATESMAN! YOU SHALL RUE THE DAY THAT YOU...um...YES! The ruing shall be upon you! Oh will you be ruing! And you cannot escape the ruing! Ruing is inescapable! I deride your rue escaping abilities! For one day, when you least expect it, you shall feel rue! And rue you shall! There will be no mitigation of your feelings of rue! Rue upon you! And rue to all of your cohorts!

5 minutes later

Recluse:...with the ruing! And you shall rue for the rest of your life! Living from rue to rue until you feel you can rue no more and then just when you think you've rued your last there shall be a second ruing! And this ruing shall...

(rant shortened due to length and overuse of the word 'rue')

7 of 9 alarm clock: Get out of bed. Resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day. Get out of bed. Resistance is futile. Wake up and assimilate the day.

Recluse: I wonder if I could ever date a woman like Jeri Ryan.

7 of 9 alarm clock: That, too, is futile.

Recluse (moving to deactivate it): I think we've had just about enough out of you.

7 of 9 alarm clock: Do not touch me.

Recluse: How am I supposed to turn you off?

7 of 9 alarm clock: Believe me, I am already turned off.

Recluse: Clock tease!

Calico Jack: Arr, me thinks Nug be a bit dyslexic and spelt his name in reverse. It's spelt 'Gun' me harty, har ha har har!

"They don't like it when you shoot at them. I worked that out myself." -Mal, Firefly episode The Message

"Woah. Good Bible." -Mal, Firefly episode Our Mrs. Reynolds

"Kaylee, go find the kid who's taking a dirt nap with baby Jesus, we need a hood ornament." -Mal, Serenity outtakes

note: not meant to offend anyone, but in the context of the outtake, this is by far the funniest thing I've ever heard, I can't even think about it w/o laughing

"In the modern world, great leaders solve conflicts with words. Words like SCUD launcher, tomahawk missile, and carpet bombing." C&C Generals

"Sex is more fun than logic. Once cannot prove this, but it IS in the same sense that Mount Everest IS and that Alma Cogan ISN'T." -A Professional Logician from The Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Pythin and the Holy Grail

Mako: Aruba, Jamaca, oo i wanna take ya to
Sirroco: Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Scorpion: Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go
Recluse: Oooh i wanna take you down to Kokomo! We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow. THAAAAT'S where we waanaa goOoo, way down in Kokomo!

don't ask a question about geography without checking your map first and don't ask what enhancements are for if you've played the tutorial and/or you have the manual sitting neglected in front of you

Recluse: Sirocco! Assemble a strike force! Some German punk thinks he can out bid me on William Shatner's kidney stone on eBay!

[ QUOTE ]
Statesman (After dispatching a horde of Aracnos agents): Recluse, you bloodsucker. You're gonna have to do your own dirty work now, do you hear me? Do you?

Recluse: Marcus. You're still alive, old friend?

Statesman: Still, "old friend." You've managed to kill everyone else but like a poor marksman, you keep missing the target.

Recluse: Perhaps I no longer need to try, my friend.
[teleports the Sister Psyche away]

Statesman: Recluse... Recluse, ok... you've got her, but you don't have me. You were going to kill me, Reculse. You're gonna have to come down here. You're gonna have to come down here!

Reculse: I've done far worse than kill you, Marcus. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive.

Statesman: KHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!

[/ QUOTE ]

Best...Trek movie...ever! I tip my hat to you good sir.

Recluse: For those days when you're not feeling as fresh as you deserve to be, trust Vagiclean. The only feminine hygene product endorsed by Arachnos.

Recluse (singing): There she was just a walkin' down the street, singin' do ah ditty ditty dum ditty do. Snappin' her fingers and shufflin' her feet, singin' do ah ditty ditty dum ditty do.

Recluse: I TAKE A WHISKEY DRINK! I TAKE A CHOCOLATE DRINK! AND WHEN I HAVE TO PEE I USE THE KITCHEN SINK!

might be the wrong thread to ask, but is there a contact you unlock when you get the hammer down badge for killing the ghost of scrapyard?

Lord Recluse stand over a beaten Statesman.

Recluse: Me am winning again! Me am the greetest! And now I will leave Paragon City for no raisin! Heheh! Heheheh! Heheh!

I've got worms where?

Recluse: Thank you all for coming. I have called this press conference to announce this press conference.

Recluse: They do say, Mako, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head.

Recluse: Scorpion, have you no idea what irony is?

Scorpion: Yes, it's like goldy and bronzy only it's made out of iron.