First, I want to apologize for not posting in any of the threads about the closing of Paragon Studios and CoH since it was announced. I was busy getting married to a wonderful woman who I never would have met if it weren't for this company and this game (I'll post in those threads later, we're on our honeymoon!). I'd originally intended to make a post announcing our marriage, as people do, next week, but I can't wait any more, because I really want to talk about how much this game and the Paragon Studios staff helped make this possible and changed my life. I also want to tell a story about an interview I had at Paragon in 2008, which I bombed hilariously.
This is going to be a long post, so I'm going to post headings if you want to skip sappy romance stories or hilarious job interview failure stories, and get to the "I'll miss you, Paragon and CoH" part. I apologize for the length, but I have a lot that I want to say, and time is running out to say it.
How CoH and Paragon Studios Helped Me Find the Love of My Life
For those who don't know me or the story (or the whole story, as I'll now be sharing more than previously), I met my (as of this Saturday) wife Marisa (also known on the forums and in-game on Virtue as Fatare and Iris) over CoH, and met her in person the first time at the first HeroCon. We got engaged a year ago, and just got married on Saturday, September 1st. The full story is this: I play Night-Girl (among other characters, but she's the one I'm most identified with) on the Virtue server, and have been leading the Liberty League (whom you might know from
this trailer that won the 2004 video contest, though I had nothing to do with it as I joined shortly afterwards) for the last 6 years, after The Weevil left, and Captain Meteor and Captain Karate took a hiatus.
You know, how I joined the Liberty League is crazy enough on its own, and makes my meeting Marisa that much more amazing. I only joined the League because some members of my original SG that had formed out of a PUG in the late CoH beta met a guy named Red Griffon standing outside of their mission (this is all back in 2004). We tried him out for that SG, and I rejected him for some really stupid reasons (he was an AWESOME guy, I had issues), one of which involved how cheesy his (totally classic) main character Kid D.C was. I really liked him, but didn't feel he fit our group, so I thought he'd feel better about rejection if I helped him get in a group he totally belonged in. I'd read Ascendant's phone scripts and knew he was on Virtue, and found out online that he had an SG. I sent Ascendant a tell (he had no idea who I was), and asked if he'd try this guy out and recruit him if he liked him. Ascendant is
super gracious, so of course he said yes. The three of us teamed up, and at the end of the mission, Ascendant sent him an SG invite. Of course, it was totally crappy of me to not just be up-front with Kid D.C, but he was just as nice as Ascendant, and forgave me for it. I didn't hear from Kid again until a couple of months later, when he told me he'd taken a break and just recently come back to the game. At this time, I'd gotten over a lot of my dislike of cheese, and I'd created Night-Girl, my first attempt at a silver-age style character in the game. I asked Kid D.C if he knew of any silver-age style RP groups, and he told me the best one was the Liberty League. So, I applied, sent The Weevil a tell, and was invited pretty much immediately. Ascendant joined about 3 days later, and Kid D.C shortly after that, and we've all had a lot of fun together since (though sadly, Kid D.C has been gone from the game for some time).
In mid 2005, a girl named Fatare applied to the League. She was positive, fun, and good at the game, so we invited her and her boyfriend. She had tried out for the 2004 Costume Contest, and said boyfriend posted some "making of" pictures of her and her costume in our supergroup forums. I remember looking at those pictures and thinking, "hey, she's cute. Too bad she has a boyfriend and lives in California". (Side note: she wound up winning the 2006 costume contest, by the way, with her rainbowy Iris costume. She doesn't like when I brag about that, but I do it anyway. They even put her on the Launcher:
Awesome, huh?)
Over time, we became friends. She broke up with her boyfriend, and we both talked about our problems with dating.
About this time, another amazing event happened, which I'll detail later--I was flown in for an in-person interview at Paragon Studios for a Powers Designer position, in February of 2008. I totally blew the interview, but the details, in retrospect, are pretty funny. I'll share them after I finish the story about my wife and I. She consoled me when I didn't get the job.
Comic Con 2008 was coming up, and I'd never been to one. I talked to Fatare about meeting up there, but when it came time to get hotel rooms, I wasn't able to get one, so I wasn't able to go. When she got there, we chatted some over the game, and I told her to stop by a booth to talk to a friend of mine named Daniel Davis (aka
Steam Crow), and tell him that Rob said hi.
It's important to note, at this point, that while playing Night-Girl, I'd never mentioned my real life gender, and Fatare thought I was a woman. She later told me that she turned to a friend of hers (who she'd also met from CoH) and asked, "could Rob be a girl's name?"
When she met my friend Daniel, she had confirmation that, yes, I was a guy, and that (gotta love Daniel) I was single. When I later asked what he thought when he met her, he said something like, "cute. Very nice. Age? I dunno". He thought she was 17 (she was 27, she looks very young for her age).
Then the first HeroCon was announced. We talked about meeting there. She was still friends with her ex, and since he was also in the Liberty League, he went too (PSA: when you're meeting some random guy you met on the internet for the first time, please do consider bringing someone else that you trust). It was at this time that I learned that Fatare's real name was Marisa, and we had a
blast. She dressed up in her new Greek-style white Iris costume, and won best female costume, and took second for overall costume behind a great Carnival of Shadows member costume. Unfortunately, I don't have a picture of the two of them, but I do have a picture of Iris and another player with a great costume, Dr. Lore:
Dr. Lore vs. Iris!
We talked to the devs, who were totally awesome, we did the live event and destroyed our Rubik's Cube, and we met some great fellow CoH players (shout out to Texas Justice and SadysCHICK, sorry that I can't remember the names of others).
The Live Mission Event
The three of us took a cab back to the airport, because our flights left at about the same time. We had this great cab driver that talked to us most of the way, and as we neared the airport, she said "so who's in love?" This was… awkward. Marisa and I had just met, and her ex was in the cab. We stayed completely silent. Their terminal was before mine, so she let them off first, and as we drove to my terminal, I let her know that they were exes. She said "boy, I really stuck my foot in my mouth, didn't I?" I laughed, and she asked, "what about you and her?" I said she lived really far away, and didn't know if she felt that way about me, and that I didn't do that well with women. She told me, "do what you love. That's the best way to meet someone that's right for you." She was very right.
This cab driver's advice, and the advice of a very good friend from the League (who I think of as our den mother) convinced me to invite Marisa up to visit me. She did in mid-January of 2009, and we've been in love since. We visited each other for 4-5 days every month for the next year and a half, including going to Comic-con 2009 and HeroCon 2009, where we had the pleasure of talking to the CoH developers and staff, who recognized us and were always super nice. For our second Valentine's Day, I commissioned a drawing of her main villain, Mind Stinger, by David Nakayama:
In August of 2010, I moved down to live with Marisa, and in August of 2011 I asked her to marry me on Catalina Island. We made a post about it on the forums here, and when we went to the first Player Summit, several of the devs recognized and congratulated us.
Last Saturday, September 1st, 2012, Marisa and I got married.
We're laughing at something the best man's very witty grandmother said.
The Wedding, and How I Learned That CoH Would Be No More
On Saturday, Sept. 1st, as we were taking pictures before the wedding, one of my Groomsmen, who works in the game industry, showed me a Facebook post on his phone by a coworker of his that just said something like "Sorry to hear about Paragon Studios, CoH was my first MMO". There was no context. He thought that meant it was shut down, but I was sure that couldn't be the case. I figured it was some layoffs, like when BABs was let go. I tried to look for something on the boards, but my phone was slow, and I didn't want to keep the photographer waiting.
The ring was a little hard to get on.
The officiant mentioned CoH in the ceremony, by the way, though not by name. Part of the ceremony (the "Charge") started with "Marisa and Rob, this love that was birthed from a friendship started a thousand miles apart with a connection over a superhero game. Little did you know that when you first started playing that game of superheroes, how it would alter the course of your life and set you on a path bringing you to this moment". The rest of the charge compared the sacrifices superheroes make for humanity to the sacrifice a spouse makes for the other. He wrote that on a whim after we told him how we met. We didn't ask for it, he just wrote it and listed it as an option after several more formal ones that he'd already had prepared. It was wonderful.
Towards the end of the reception, someone else mentioned something about CoH again, and I finally did a Google News search. It was really, really sad news to get on the very day of our wedding, but we have so much to show from our time with the game, and so many fond memories because of it and the Paragon Studios staff.
I'd like to tell the story of one such memory of mine, which I've been aching to tell for quite some time. I'd intended to post this in 2018 when the NDA ran out, but I think the dissolution of the company counts as the NDA running out. I apologize very deeply if I am wrong. Please don't sue me too hard.
(I'm pretty sure the NDA doesn't apply to any of this, anyway, it's just stories about people, not trade secrets.)
If You're Applying For Your Dream Job, Don't Do What I Did
I was given a fantastic opportunity in February of 2008. I'd applied for both the Systems Designer and Powers Designer positions at Paragon (or NCSoft NorCal as they were known then, but I'll keep calling them Paragon here), and they flew me down for an interview for the Powers Designer position.
When I found out that they were going to interview me, the first thing I did was buy a $900 outfit (sportcoat, slacks, tailored shirt, shoes, tie), as I wanted this job
so bad, and I'd been told (probably by my father) there was no such thing as overdressing for an interview, and the best thing I already had that fit me was jeans and collared shirts.
I flew down and took a cab to Paragon's office. I'd been told to get a receipt for the cab fare, but when the guy was filling it out, I told him not to fill out the tip line, because I felt I should pay the tip, not Paragon (if I recall correctly, I tipped him $10 bucks on a $40 fare).
I walked up to the building, which was a nondescript white, warehouse-looking building with no signs, and double glass doors that I couldn't see through because it was very bright outside, and dark inside. At first I was worried that I was at the wrong place, but I put my hands up to the glass to block the light over my eyes, and I saw CoH/CoV posters and stands. There was a reception desk, but nobody was at it, and, as I said earlier, it was dark. Confused, I looked around for a doorbell, and didn't see one (in retrospect, I think I did see a small black squareish thing on a wall, but it did not look like a doorbell to me). So, I grabbed the doorhandle, and pulled. It didn't open. I thought it might just be a little stuck, so I pulled harder, and yanked it open.
It was one of those doors that has a vertical bolt that slides into a hole at the bottom to lock it. I think I may have broken it. I'm very, very sorry.
I then sat in a chair in the dark reception room/waiting area. After about 5 minutes, it was time for my interview, but no one came. I stood up and looked around the corner, and saw a dark conference room on the left, and a doorway into a large room with cubicle walls. The doorway had yellow and black hazard zone tape around the edge of it, which was amusing. I could hear talking and laughing coming from down the hall. I figured they must all be in a meeting, so I sat again and waited.
I waited for 20 minutes past my interview time before getting worried enough to venture into the Hazard Zone.
I turned a corner, walked by a couple of cubicles, and found the cubicle of the HR person I'd spoken with, Theresa Bottenhorn. I said hi, and I think she jumped a little. I don't remember the full details of the conversation, but I know she asked me if I rang the doorbell, which I told her I hadn't seen. She asked how I got in, and I said I opened the door. She responded, "it wasn't locked?" and I said no, but after saying that, in my head it clicked that it likely
had been locked, and that was why it was so hard to open.
Theresa took me into a conference room and asked about covering cab fare. I gave her the receipt, and she asked why the tip line was blank. I said something like "oh don't worry about it", and she looked at me funny--she may have thought that meant that I didn't tip the guy.
She told me to wait, and then Positron and Castle entered, introduced themselves (as Matt and Floyd, not Positron and Castle, but I'll use red names here because it's easier), and sat down. At this point I noticed that everyone I'd met so far was wearing jeans and a T-Shirt.
"You're wearing a sport coat", Positron said, and in response my eyes got wide (as they do when I realize that I may have made a mistake), and I asked, "is that bad?" He replied, "I don't think a sport coat has ever been in this building".
They pulled out the copies of my tests and resume, and Matt asked if I'd applied for the Systems Designer position. Now, I had. However, when taking the Powers Designer test, there was one question that started with, "design a system where <stuff related to combat that I don't remember off hand>". I felt like I'd done terribly on this question while I was taking it, and felt that I should withdraw my application for Systems Designer because I took "design a system" so literally while I was under stress, trying to finish the test in the allotted time period. So I actually had withdrawn it, though I think at that point, Positron must have already reviewed the resumes. I explained that to Positron, and I think I sounded a little crazy (because that really made no sense at all).
Positron then said that I did well on question 3. Or maybe it was 2. I think it was the datamining question. I said thank you. I think this was probably my best response in the entire interview.
The subject of the forums came up at some point, and I told them I read them a lot, and that I knew who they were. I also said that I pretty much agreed with Castle nearly all the time (which is true, he was my favorite developer because I felt he had a good grasp of game balance, and that was always one of my biggest focuses when it game to game criticism, at least up until this interview). Positron said something like "well, he's made a couple of mistakes", and I said, "only one!"
Protip: Do not correct the person interviewing you when you have no freaking idea what he is really talking about.
At one point, Castle asked me a question like, "let's say you have the job. If you could fix one thing in the game right now, what would it be?" Now, I had a list of possible answers to this question sitting right in front of me. Some of them, I think, were good (like examining how common each damage type is in the game based on how often it is actually encountered based on mob frequency and playstyle, as opposed to just extrapolating based on the percentage of mobs that use that type, and rebalancing them based on that). One of them was a pet peeve, and I, for some stupid reason, picked that one. "Aid Self" I said.
Castle literally headdesked.
If you're reading this, Castle, I finally found the image I mentioned to you in a PM a while back.
I tried to explain, as I felt that melee characters using Aid Self obfuscated balance because some defensive sets like EA and ElA could compensate using Aid Self. In trying to explain myself, I then asked "what's your baseline for defensive powersets?" They said "three +3 minions". I just clammed up, because
I didn't know I was using the word "baseline" wrong (I was using it as a synonym for "median") and thought that this meant they felt all sets were grossly overpowered.
Positron changed the subject, and said that I must play games besides theirs. He asked what the last game I played was. "Crackdown", I said. He said "what do you like about it?" "Jumping high and throwing cars". "Where do you think it was lacking, and what might make it better?" he asked. "I don't know, better story I guess?"
These were
horrible answers, but exact, and literally true answers to his questions. Crackdown was the last game I'd played besides CoH, and I had played it for very, very shallow reasons. I knew these answers were horrible, so I clammed up, not wanting to look even more stupid. The last game I'd played
obsessively prior to CoH was Diablo 2, and I had
tons of balance criticisms about that game (the x4 attack rating multiplier for mobs to overcome how overpowered Shout and Defiance were, while rendering armor useless for anyone else, for example, or how adding tons of new affixes in the LoD expansion diluted the pools and transformed rare items from comprising most of the best equipment into the game to mostly junk).
If someone asks you a question like this, they're trying to see if you think critically about games. Don't answer the question literally, find an alternative answer that shows them what they're really looking for.
They asked me why I loved superheroes. I said I liked the nobility inherent in them, as well as super powers. They asked what my favorite character was. I said the Hulk.
See where that sounds like a contradiction? I then said I didn't read his comics (I hadn't lately, anyway. I did read some of Peter David's Merged Hulk. I read Planet Hulk not too long after, and it was awesome). The truth is, I don't have a favorite. But I do love the Hulk when he's used in a certain way (misunderstood hero: see the Avengers movie), and he's frequently not used that way.
Positron asked me what I did read, and I listed the Authority and some others. I said Warren Ellis was one of my favorites. Positron said I was hitting all his negatives.
That segment wrapped up, and War Witch and Hero 1 walked in. I was
way less nervous around them, probably because I wasn't interviewing to work directly for them (have I mentioned that I'm bad at interviews in general? I am). War Witch and Hero 1 made me feel very comfortable. We talked about the game, about what kinds of things could be done in missions, what other ideas I had for mission types, and I felt pretty good. They then asked me what powerset I'd most like to add to the game, and that was Street Fighting, hands down. I was invited to outline on on the white board. All I did was write down power names, and I drew a blank on a tier 2 power (I'd filled in the rest). I felt pretty stupid, because this was something anyone could do, and I couldn't even finish it, despite doing the exact same thing at least twice before in forum posts.
Next I had a more technical examination of my capabilities by The Dark Watcher. He explained that they were looking for a more technical designer, and hoped that I could bridge the gap between design and programming. He flipped through my resume and said "I see you've got Perl on here". I said "it's been a while". He looked at me in a way that I took as disapproval. I said "but it's like riding a bike!" Seriously, TDW, Perl is no problem. I'm just nervous and very, very bad at selling myself. You can ask my boss.
He then asked me some simple questions that were obviously to determine my problem solving skills. I was incredibly nervous, and actually said so.
Do not say that you are nervous in an interview. In the end, I blew it because he asked me a very, very simple question-- if two objects are approaching each other on two different vectors, and you want to determine the motion of one object relative to the other, what do you do? Duh, you subtract the vectors. But I second guessed myself because I hadn't used vectors since college. I though there was a chance I was wrong, and that you had to add them. Instead of going with my instinct, I was totally noncommittal and wouldn't give an answer because I was too afraid to be wrong.
This was very likely worse than giving a wrong answer. Don't do this.
At this point, the interview was over, and Positron gave me a tour. I met Sexy Jay, who was working on creating Daedalus' model. Positron walked over and talked to him, and he seemed kind of nervous and was explaining what he was doing. Positron then introduced me, and he immediately switched into smooth Sexy Jay mode, stuck out his hand, and said hi. It was hilarious.
We passed a set of cubicles, and Positron introduced me to the head programmer at the time, whose name I don't recall, but was a really nice guy. I'd actually had a phone interview that he ran for a programming position prior to that, which I didn't do very well on, but wasn't as hilariously tragic as this one. At this point I think Positron asked me if there was any little thing in the game that I'd like to see fixed. I told him that I really would like a confirmation on the right click->Remove from SG option, because I kept accidentally booting my teammates in combat when using right click for mouse-look. He yelled "Hey C.W., can we get a confirmation on all right click kicks?" and C.W. (that's Pohsyb) said "sure". We got them shortly thereafter (so hey look guys, I totally helped!).
Positron then invited me to lunch with a bunch of them, and offered to buy me lunch. I tried to politely decline at first, but then changed my mind because I was worried I was being rude, so I owe Positron lunch now. I think this was the first time I'd ever had tempura, by the way.
At lunch, one of the first things someone asked (Hero 1, Positron, War Witch? I don't remember) was, "what redname would you want?" I immediately blurted out "Nemesis!" and everyone burst into laughter. Hero 1 said "The players would HATE you!" and I said "I know! Especially Venture!"
Positron explained his dislike of Warren Ellis, as he'd killed off a bunch of characters he'd liked in Stormwatch to make way for the characters I liked that became The Authority. I now fully understand--not only did Ellis kill off the Stormwatch Positron liked, he did it in a crossover with Aliens, which is a really crappy way to kill off characters--in a cheap promotional crossover with another IP.
At one point War Witch asked how close Spokane was to Canada, and I spent the next like, 3 minutes trying to use Google Maps on my iPhone on edge (read: slow)trying to figure that out, and probably missed other questions directed at me because I was so focused on it.
After lunch, Positron asked me if I had any more questions. I asked whether this was a permanent position or a ramp-up position, because I currently had a good job, and didn't want to move down only to lose it in a year.
Don't do this. This really isn't a good thing to say when going for your dream job. I don't know if it hurt my chances, but it did imply that I cared about stability more than doing something awesome.
Theresa called me a cab back to the airport. While waiting for it, she sat and talked to me about how the interview went. I said that I was really nervous because, and I quote, "you guys are like celebrities to me!"
Don't do this. It's probably not a good idea to look like a crazed fan when interviewing for a job.
When the cab driver arrived, Theresa paid and tipped him in advance.
By the way, everyone was
so nice that I thought I did really well. It wasn't until about a week that I started thinking back about each event and realized that I made a ton of really crazy mistakes. One of them was confirmed when I sat in a "How to get into the game industry" panel at one of the HeroCons, and Positron said "before interviewing, be sure to check with HR about the dress code. If I see a guy walk in in a three piece suit, I'm going to think 'who's the money guy that's going to buy the place?'" I'm not totally sure that was directed specifically at me, but it was funny anyway.
We'll Miss You, Paragon and CoH
I have a lot of good memories from City of Heroes. I remember the first time I got Super Jump, my first travel power. I couldn't believe how high it went--I'd never seen anything like that in any game before. I remember joining a supergroup that became almost like a family. I remember campaigning passionately with other players for changes on the forums, and getting them, repeatedly, and becoming good friends with some of those players. And of course I remember meeting my wife, and saving the world with her (repeatedly).
I also have wonderful memories of HeroCons, Comic-Cons, and the first Player Summit. At HeroCon 2008, I bugged Positron and Castle, still nervous around them after bombing the interview. They were nice, as usual (or at least patient). Hero 1 talked with me briefly and encouraged me to apply again (I chickened out and didn't). War Witch came and sat next to me during one of the panels when Marisa was getting her costume on.
At Comic-Con 2009 I won a sketch from David Nakayama of my main villain,
Menace Maiden,
Talked to Positron about the Story Bible,
and EMPulse took our picture and posted it on Twitter.
At the 2009 HeroCon we played Apples to Apples with War Witch and Sunstorm,
and Hero 1 talked to us for about an hour about CoH lore at that HeroCon. I met Synapse and bugged him about some minor issue I had with some IO piece, and met Sean "Dr. Aeon" McCann in the can (har har). I also took 5th or 6th place or something like that in the Trivia contest, which was lots of fun, but embarrassing when I raised my hand for a question I realized that I didn't actually know.
Ghost Falcon got us and had someone tape an interview with us about how we met at the previous HeroCon, which was cool.
We skipped the 2010 Comic-Con, as Marisa's older sister was having a baby very close to that, but we did make it to Comic-Con 2011 with Marisa's younger sister and her fiancee (who, incidentally, is an awesome guy, and was my best man at the wedding. One more wedding until we're brothers!). We chatted with War Witch and Zwillinger (who put us on the live video feed and I blanked out a little from camera shock or whatever you call that). We went to the
totally awesome meet and greet that was held after hours, and we all thought it was the highlight of that Comic-Con.
We saw that poster, and just had to do it.
While we were there, we talked to Avatea and Keetsie "Tunnel Rat" Braz da Cuhna.
We like to refer to Tunnel Rat as Marisa's Praetorian Double because they have a lot of physical similarities, but Marisa likes pretty shiny things and Tunnel Rat likes gross things.
There, we gave Positron a giant "Three Cole Moon" poster that Marisa and I had created, along with several smaller ones for other Paragon staff. They took one of them, and signed it, and gave it back to us, which was awesome.
Brian Clayton very blurrily signs the poster. The picture is blurry! I'm not saying Brian is blurry. Though he appears that way. In the picture! That's a lot of alcohol on the table, but I'm sure it's not all his.
Someone didn't know that they were holding it for us, and accidentally set a chair on it, which Positron apologized for, but I just think of it as part of the memory.
You can't really see the chair mark that much anyway, it's what is reflecting the light on Positron's signature in the upper left.
At the first Player Summit we sat at a table with Arbiter Hawk, Synapse, Sunstorm, and I think two other developers whose names I didn't get, and had fun talking about the game. Ghost Falcon came up to us and said he had more pictures of us from the 2008 HeroCon, which he so graciously provided us later. We talked to Positron and Think_Tank during the cocktail hour about Mass Effect and the CoH Halloween Event, and I learned that Ross Borden was not the guy that did that awesome Eminem Karaoke session in the first HeroCon.
Thanks to Pepsiman for taking this picture from the Pummit:
My wife (fiancee at the time) is dressed up as my main character. Positron said, "Oh! That is just WRONG!"
Zwillinger convinced me that I really wanted to be in the market panel, and we got to participate in one of the most awesome events ever in the history of video games, and by that I mean the panel leading to the creation of the Retro Sci-Fi set. After dinner, we chatted with Tunnel Rat, her husband Honey Badger, Dr. Aeon, and David Nakayama about the game and how David got his big break at Top Cow through a contest. Then there was karaoke and dancing (we did the Time Warp).
Avatea dancing with... uh... hey look, Zwillinger is over there on the right! You can tell because he has one of those hats on. (I'm sorry I can't remember who Avatea is dancing with!)
I'm sorry if I left anything or anyone out, but you guys are all awesome and should be very proud of what you've done. I know I've disagreed with some things, but that doesn't lessen the incredible accomplishments you've made in my mind at all, nor has it lessened how much you and your work have affected our lives.
I will miss this game and dev team more than any other game and dev team in history, and I will always have love for it and you guys.
Thank you,
Liquid
Hey Liquid, Hey Fatare,
)