LeighB_EU

I’ve always had a slight affinity with cats (lazy and independent). When I first created my web site back in 1995 it was called The Cat’s Basket, and had lots of cat type things on it. While I’ve moved away from referring to cats all the time I still have the odd reference to them kicking around.

I guess most people use their avatar to represent how they are currently feeling, but I do wish people wouldn’t change them. I get so used to recognising people by those pictures that when I see a new one I spend ages trying to work out who they are.

Honestly, not only did I spit coffee over my keyboard at the, “I see you’ve taken your top off,” moment, but I’ve now just wasted half an hour watching more episodes. Cures you Xemulas and your Youtube links.

Yay, thank you.

Strange and sinister are fine.

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"You nerfed me on a Monday,
I respeced on a Tuesday,
You patched a bug on a Wednsday,
I respeced on a Thursday,
You rolled back on a Friday
I swore a lot that weekend.

Oh, I got the E.D. blues.
Yeah, I got those
nerfaristic, forumistic,
deep down wistful, Statesmanistic,
oh those dark and gloomy
E.D. Bluuues."

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Nooooo. You said it. The phrase that should not be uttered. Now it will come. Summoned by the dark phrase it will arise and start posting. The Lions that should not be. And there will be flames, woe and thread death.

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I thought the nerf to end all nerfs was in the filter, have they forgotten to include it when a period is used in between the letters?

So, now that’s been brought up I’m getting out of here quicker than Gary Glitter would do if anyone else would have him. Anyone joining me?

At first I thought I didn’t understand where this post (and many others) were coming from, but I’m wondering if I don’t understand the modern usage of the word ‘nerf’. I always thought that when something was nerfed it meant it had been deliberately changed to significantly reduce its effectiveness. As in, “Khorak has just nerfed my ability to walk by cutting my hamstrings with his large and manly weapon.”

I read all the changes that happen to the powers and I’ve got to say that a 0.3 second alteration to a powers animation time just seems rather irrelevant. More importantly when I read about the changes to claws and stuff, and then go in to the game and carry on playing my claws character, I don’t notice any difference at all. In all the years I’ve played this game I can’t say I’ve ever noticed the change in the way one of my characters plays. They are all still fun to play and they all kill (oh, I mean knock out) the bad guys.

So, is everyone else so highly tuned to the game that all these changes are making a big difference to them (and feel free to replace the words ‘tuned to this game’ with whatever phrase you want ), or are those who notice (or think they notice) these things in open play just in a minority and ordinary players like me just carry on playing the game and having fun?

Oh, and sorry for posting in a weekend thread and, yes, I have avoided mentioning the nerf that shall not be mentioned.

Part 2 and Part 3

Another great couple of bits.

Plot and character wise, I like it. I was interested in reading it all the way through and I loved the plot twist at the end of part three.

I also like the characters. I can imagine them in my mind so you’ve already got that bit right. Having said that Madame Victim was probably the weakest of the main ones as although she came across as a bit more reckless and out of her element her style wasn’t that different to Amanda’s (I’m not explaining that well, but hopefully you get the idea). If you want to change this try coming up with three or four personality traits for each character an building their conversation and actions around those, it can help to solidify them in your mind when you’re having to deal with six or seven at the same time.

(As an aside, we all find it easier to tell others than to do ourselves and I was putting a story of mine through final draft today and realised both the characters were acting the same. )

Description has improved from part one and the fight scene in part two was really easy to follow (if you want to read good descriptions of fights, albeit in a different genre, try David Gemmell’s Waylander). There are a couple of bits where it slips (‘… hands and squeezed, the brass buckled beneath his hands before he pulled it apart at the seams …’ just confused me for a minute), but overall it’s a lot better.

Having said that the first two paragraphs of part three need a bit of fine tuning as I had to read them a couple of times before I understood what was happening.

The introduction for Temperature Sprit made me chuckle, so good stuff there, although you change the point of view in the third paragraph which threw me for a minute.

All my other advice would come down to editing. There are the usual instances of repetition that we all make:

‘… take control, once the AI took control of the van …’

‘… grabbed one of the cases and a strap from by the door. She opened the case …’

You also need to come up with a few ways of saying ‘Black Cat Neko’ and ‘Temperature Sprit’ as while they’re both good names they don’t scan well. For Neko you’ve obviously got Neko but you could also use other descriptions that fit such as ‘the clawed black form’ or ‘the snarling ball of fluff’. (Not the latter of those two really, as it’s probably too cute, but you get the idea. )

So, if I have said it enough, good improvement on the first bit and keep it up. Please ask if you want clarification on something or I’ve said anything out of line.

Loving the style of the drawing and the storytelling. The writing reminded me of Heinlein’s early work.

I can offer no feedback on the art work having no ability or understanding of how pictures are draw – it looked like something I’d pay money for though. The writing needs to be altered slightly imo for repetition, but that’s just a couple of minor tweaks.

I really like this, you seem to have put some work in to getting it right and your description is excellent. You’ve either got an affinity with rain or you had a strong image in your head as the downpour came across very well.

‘The blade she carried slipped from her shivering hand, deactivating as the metal hilt bounced across the cold wet concrete beneath her.’ For example this sentence was particularly well done. A couple of tweaks and it would be perfect.

I also loved ‘… but the bloody stain had framed the injury leaving its mark on her expensive jacket.’

‘… that enveloped her hands when she wielded them granted her a sense of security and safety that she often felt she lacked in her obsessive and solitary work absorbed life.’ Another example of good description that added depth to the character, it just needs a bit to tidying up to be spot on.

As with all of us, you need to be careful with repetition of words in close proximity (meh, there’s probably a phrase for it as that one is always messy when I right it, but I can’t be bothered to look ). A few examples are:

‘the frequent flashes of lightening staccato'd the appearance of her movements as though she were caught in the irregular pulse of a malfunctioning strobe light. The heavy rain …’

‘Her immaculately tailored and expensive black silk suit had long since reached saturation point from the torrents of rain which cascaded down onto her narrow shoulders. Her white …’

On another general point, while your description is very good, be careful not to use too many adjectives. A lot of your sentences are a tad too long and wordy. A small amount of editing to reduce them in length would make them feel easier when they are read and they wouldn’t lose any of their beauty.

By way of an example try this:

‘Her target had at a previous time been a member of the same Organisation as her, they had exchanged ideas …’ This could be edited down to ‘Her target had previously been a member of the Organisation, they had exchanged ideas ... ’

Also:

‘A single tear formed in the corner of her right eye, a glistening bead of water that briefly stood out from the millions of droplets that fell from the sky above, slowly running down her cheek to merge with the pouring rain that engulfed her. ’ This starts very well but the back end needs tightening up. (Oh, now that’s a phrase I don’t get to use often in a forum. )

Keep up the good work and write some more. I hope you don’t mind the feedback and do ask if I’ve not been clear with anything.

Okay Guys,

As there have been a couple of people who have showed interest in the rolling story and there are a reasonable number of people posting stories in the forum at the moment, I’ll give this a starting punt and see where it gets to.

This thread can be used for comments, and for those who want to put there names forward as the next writer. I’ve created a story thread [linky] and the done the first instalment.

I’m not going to put any rules in place. Each section can be as short or as long as you fancy, it can move the main narrative along or it can start a side bit that links in to the story.

The only thing I would suggest is that whoever is going to do the next part shouts up in this thread (so that others don’t start writing and the posts then get mixed up). If you do offer to write the next bit but are struggling to get it done, again just shout up and someone else can take over. It’s perfectly understandable if real life gets in the way.

Hopefully I’ve give you something to get your creative teeth in to. Now, go do your thing.

This is the thread for posting sections of the story. Any comments and those whishing to put thier name forward to join in should use this thread [linky]. The story is open to anyone (new and practiced), those who want to contribute as often as possible or those who just want to do one chapter because it takes their fancy.

Here’s your starter for ten:

There was an clang of metal as one of his swords struck the side of the mausoleum and Rainn felt the vibrations travel in to his hand. A punch from the shaman missed him by a millimetre, brushing the side of his face like a passing feather. This guy was quicker than he’d anticipated.

They had been waiting when he came out of the crypt. He had been careful enough going in, leaving no sign that the lock had been popped, so the only way they could have known he was there was if someone had tipped them off. Fortunately whoever had sent these lot had underestimated his skill. The husks had gone down pretty easily and he’d been able to steel his mind against the shaman’s earth powers. Now the quicker he could dispatch this last one the quicker he could get out of this fog bound place.

He stepped back slightly as he brought both swords back in to a guard position, and the shaman, thinking his target was off balance, started to cast another spell. Rainn was still on the balls of his feet though and the shamans surprise was evident as the tips of both blades flashed across his body. The words of the half formed spell were still rising from his throat as Rainn finished him off with on final thrust.

In the stillness that followed, Rainn listened for any more attackers. Then, when nothing presented itself, he sheathed both his blades.

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I thought Pitch Black was a cracking little film...

Less said about The Chronicles of Riddick the better though

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Saving Private Ryan, Boiler Room and Find Me Guilty were all examples of how good he can be when he finds the right role, and yes, Pitch Black suited him. I’ve not see a lot of the other stuff he’s done, but xXx was meh.

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... also if you mean the Warhammer Fantasy RP, I'm really curious as to what the heck do you mean.

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I can’t fit my thoughts in to one post and it would be more off topic than discussing the buffness of Mr D.

Let’s get back on topic by discussing what the one player in Luxembourg is going to have as an advert(s).

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The southern ones will get French adds, the northern ones will get German adds, and the Finns will get adds encouraging them to adopt a more sensible language

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All the Scandinavian countries will get adverts telling them not to be so smug about their superior social support system and far better schooling.

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He's just... I don't know, but I find him highly unattractive (and the muscles just make me gag).

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No bonus points for him being a gamer and long-time roleplayer?

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I bet he's the kind of roleplayer who only plays Warhammer, and we know what they're like.

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Well, he's not super hot - but he is kinda rugged, which is acceptable
"Easy on the eyes" is a pretty broad range

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Please, stop with the talk of muscles, already. This is a sure fire way to get a certain gym bunny all excited again. Anyway, there are far more attractive rough looking muscle men around. Jean-Claude Van Damme for one.

I thought I’d try putting comments in the thread, rather than my normal PMs. I hope you don’t mind.

Another good part of the story. I like the main character and I do want to know more. I’d actually like to know a bit more about her past and what she got up to before she was in prison. I’m not sure if you’re going to be putting this in to a future bit, but if not some flashbacks might be a good idea. It will certainly flesh The Countess out a bit more.

From a narrative point of view I’d like to see more description in there. For example the part where she approaches the warehouse just didn’t have enough depth. A bit more detail on where she is at the start and how she gets there would be great. Scenery can really help to give the reader an impression of the world so don’t hesitate to throw a few things in there (like how dilapidated the warehouse is). The bit at the start with the rain in it is a good example of how it can work well.

One point about plot: The armour her soldiers have is mentioned. Where did she get the resources from to have armour built? Was it from before when she was more powerful?

With regard to grammar, one specific thing I will mention is the use of prepositions. I bring this up only because using more than one preposition is now quite common in spoken English and so it’s more difficult to keep it out of the written word. You will often hear people say, ‘off of’ or ‘meet up with’. Both of these work fine with only one preposition (as in ‘meet with’ which is fine). In your text you use ‘… got her gun from off her back …’ you could easily drop either the ‘from’ or the ‘of’. Don’t worry too much about this sort of thing. There are very few people out there that are very good with grammar. I, for one, spend ages trying to spot my own mistakes, these little things are just tips to keep in your mind when you’re writing.

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The announcement of the new (optional) graphics upgrade will also be out just after i14 in the spring so things will be looking very good indeed.

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What?

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Yes, to both, it is all wild speculation, but I do think my original predictions (in a post a while back) won't be far off and I am now wondering if a graphics upgrade will come along at the end of next year (but announced around the time CO and DCO are starting to become more real) as it will give the game a longer life span and a fighting chance in 2010 and 2011.

<grin> I was just reading and typing.

Certainly a good start and I’ll be reading the next bit. I’ve noted a few editorial points which I hope will help when you write the next bit.

You should be capitalising ‘the doctor’ if it’s the name of a character.

The bit about the two men in aprons coming around a corner just needs a bit of clarification at the start of the sentence rather than the end on where it is in relation to the archway. The same with where the ladder up to the street is in relation to the archway. Just something like, ‘… just ahead …’ or ‘… two meters in front of them.’ would do fine.

‘… head off of the cold …’ should really be ‘… head on the cold …’

I’d change the sentence in the fight scene that starts ‘The second surgeon raises …’ to a series of shorter ones so that the reader gets the idea of a quick, snappy fight.

I like the fact that you avoid over using ‘he said’, ‘he asked’ etc. but the section quoted below just looses a bit of clarity around who is saying the sarcastic line at the end (of the quote):

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“Where is he?!”
Gagging for air the surgeon spits out the sewage in his mouth and croaks “He’s somewhere where you are not.”
“I can do this all day.” The surgeon is put under and pulled out again.
“Well actually you have less than twelve minutes.”


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I actually like the line drawing of this one more than the colour version.

Nice. I can’t put my finger on what the style reminds me of but I’ll shout up if I do.

Wow, we are starting weekend threads on Wednesdays now (although technically the trolling comments didn’t really start until Saturday).

So, some more interesting comments from GR (and not the bit about locking the thread, as I’m sure that won’t come as a surprise to anyone when it happens on Monday) and I’m getting even more excited about i13 now. I still don’t think the player generated content will be in there, and I’m really hoping for lots of SG loving. The rest just feels like birthday present time.

I suspect this forthcoming issue will be that big that it’ll attract a lot of attention and the subscription numbers will be on the up again. All on the back of a year that’s had a lot of superhero stuff in it. Come 2009 when the parts of the other superhero games are starting to coalesce out of etherware CoX will have a far bigger fan base and they’ll be in a great position. The announcement of the new (optional) graphics upgrade will also be out just after i14 in the spring so things will be looking very good indeed.

The fact that NCNC didn’t give in to all those (okay, three) of you who wanted to know NOW, will be long forgotten and there will be far newer and more interesting Doom to troll about.

The only ones I know for sure:

Sonic Girl (Milly Temblin), lives in a small apartment block in Kings Row.

Mind Mantis doesn’t have a home so rests in the SG base on one of the sofas.

Miss Atom (Amber George), as a supermodel, aspiring actress and vocalist on the international number one tune "Love Beyond Love" desires both the best money can buy and easy access to transport links out of the city so she can get to those Hollywood A list parties, so it’s a penthouse apartment in Founder’s for her.

I have a US trail account that has never been upgraded to a full one.

Having seen the figures for the US servers compared to the EU ones I have no intention of changing from the EU side.

I’d more than happily help, but I have a knowledge ability gap. As in I know how it’s done, but I can’t do it myself.

The principle is put down to rustic desks, put the lateral file on top and then take one of the desks away. Also, as Coolio mentions, you can always take both the desks away and then slide something else under the floating lateral files.

I’m still more than happy to drop by on Sunday if you are still struggling (send me a tell on my global). If you can get things to float, I can tell you where to place things, but there are far more talented people out there than me.

Ask any of the guys who posted in this thread [linky] will give you a hand I’m sure.

That’s just on lateral file, not one stacked on top of another. The lateral files are then stacked on desks (the desks are turned around so you can only see the flat back of them). The gaps at the bottom are made by taking one of the desks away once the stacking has been done (in the same way that you get things to float).

I’ll preface all of that with, I think.