Fire_Wa11

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
SEPTEMBER 7, 2005

So, Mr. Lee get done with his final Elvis imperso-thing for the night. Went 'bout as well as Trolls expected.

Backstreet Brawler on stage. Him saying it his pleasure to introduce Ted "The Colonel" Smits for his encore performance.

What the...? Beovark was supposed to take him out.

On stage come Elvis-type guy with big black hair, oversized 70s sunglasses covering him face, and drug-induced swagger. Launch into "Blue Suede Shoes."

Svrgyn say, "Bo Bindel, you notice something weird 'bout this Elvis."

Bo Bindel say, "Him really good."

"Yeah," say Svrgyn. "Him really green too."

"Is that...?" Say Bo Bindel, "Dat Beovark!"

Beovark doing pelvic thrusts, dramatic wide stance, and mumbling Blue Suede Shoes note for note just like Elvis. 'Dis impossible!

"#@$@##@, Beovark!" Say Bo Bindel, "You gonna vlard up the whole plan!"

"Tonight, him no Beovark," say Svrgyn. "Tonight, him THE KING."

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
SEPTEMBER 6, 2005

John Guftason Elvis gonna come on stage and him gonna sing:

"I'm a dancehall queen for life.
Gonna explode like dynamite.
Dancing til the morning light.
Cause I'm a dancehall queen for life."

Bo Bindel say, "Dat no sound like Elvis song."

"No," say Svrgyn. "Dancehall reggae."

"Why him singing it," ask Bo Bindel.

Svrgyn say, "Svrgyn drew for him picture of Elvis singing without tongue. Told him him to save Elvis song for a night less important to him health."

Bo Bindel say, "Why you pick this song?"

"No know," Svrgyn say. "Thought it'd be funny I guess."

"Svrgyn right about 'dat," say Bo Bindel.

Big-time Elvis guy still going, "Dancing 'til the morning light, 'cause I'm a dancehall queen for life!"

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skway City
SEPTEMBER 5, 2005

Bo Bindel: Come on, Svrgyn! You a mouse or you a Troll!? You gotta cowboy up and give 110 percent! Svrgyn no gonna let dead Elvis get the best of him!!

While you lying here under a ton of cellulite and fried peanut butter sandwiches, there's a little robot out there who need Svrgyn very much! Who gonna take care of Baby Clock Svrgyn no around?!

Svrgyn: Nooooooooooooooooo, Elviseses! 'Dat Svrgyn's Clock!

(Him lifting dead Elvis clear off him and turning to angry Elvises chasing him robot. Bo Bindel no want to be those Elvises right about now.)

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
SEPTEMBER 2, 2005

Bo Bindel: Beovark, 'dis Bo Bindel. Rigging worked. Mr. Lee, John Gufstason, and Ted "The Colonel" Smits three finalists.

Beovark: Beovark know. Beovark in Colonel's dressing room right now.

Bo Bindel: You take him out yet?

Beovark: Him not get back to room yet. Catering good though.

Bo Bindel: What they have?

Beoark: So far cocktail weinies and crab cakes.

Bo Bindel: How come there cocktail weinies but no Superdyne weinies?

Beovark: Beovark no know. You guys gotta take care of Gufstason guy. We gotta get this cheddar some stuff.

Bo Bindel: Bo know. Bo know. Svrgyn got plan for Gufstason Elvis but him got big, big, dead Elvis on him. Looking like Svrgyn might not make i....

Beovark: Uh-huh. Beovark gotta go.

Colonel, you got you any more cocktail weinies?

The Colonel: What tha?

*SMASH!*

(40 crab cakes later.)

*Knock* *Knock*

Security: Okay, Colonel. You're on in 5. It turns out Backstreet Brawler is a huge fan of yours. He's outside the door and is going to personally escort you to the stage! And don't worry about any hoodlums getting in and stealing your stuff. Per your request, your dressing room has no windows.

Beovark: !!!

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
SEPTEMBER 1, 2005

"Bo Bindel.... Ugh. Uh. Help," say Svrgyn.

"What going on?!" say Bo Bindel.

Svrgyn saying, "Elviseses find Baby Clock rigging.... Rigging ballots. Uh. Ow.

"Svrgyn take one out and he lying dead-weight on me. Fading.... Fading fast. Don't think...I can...hold on...hold on...much longer. Uh."

"You gonna be fine," say Bo. "Bo Bindel gonna help you."

"Ugh. Uh. Uh. Elviseses.... Elviseses chasing Baby Clock...like him.... Like him Charlie Chaplin. And they.... They keystone cop...cops."

Bo tell Svrgyn to conserve energy or regenerate something, but him right. Those Elvises got them rhinestone, liesure-suit, big-time pompadour, sunglasses stuff, and taking off in fury after little robot.

Elvises chasing Baby Clock room to room. Down hallway. Across hallway. Baby Clock duck into one room. Come out other room. All that way him got army of Elvises behind him!

"'Kay, Svrgyn," say Bo Bindel. "You gonna push then I'm gonna push. Ready? Push!!"

"Ugggggghhhh," say Svrgyn. "Arrrrrrrrggh," say Bo Bindel.

"Alright, Svrgyn," Bo say. "We gonna have to rock Elvis like him small car. Ready? Go!"

"And forward," say Bo Bindel.

Svrgyn say, "Owwwwwwwww!"

"And back," say Bo.

Svrgyn say, "Aaaargggghhhhh!

"And forward," say Bo.

Svrgyn say, "Uggggggggghhh!"

"And back," say Bo Bindel. "Svrgyn, we almost there."

"It's too late for...ugh...me, Bo. Help.... Help Baby Clock. Tell him.... Tell him Svrgyn tried."

Bo Bindel hope Beovark making out better than we are right now. Why couldn't dead Elvis be young Elvis?

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 31, 2005

*ring*

Svrgyn: Bo! Where are you!? Tonight big-time night of Elviseses! Svrgyn, Beovark, and Baby Clock all waiting!

Bo Bindel: Tonight no contest. It not fourth Teen Titan yet.

Svrgyn: Tonight no gonna be Teen Titans! It Labor Day Weekend! Jerry's Kids...!

Bo Bindel: Huh?

Svrgyn: Jerry Lewis Telethon!

Bo Bindel: That jerk!

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 30, 2005

(Today's episode.... The Hash Brown Dilemma!)

Waitress: Do you want hashbrowns with that omelette?

Ohhh, Bo Bindel hate this. She gonna ask if Bo Bindel want hashbrowns with that. Bo Bindel gonna ask if it cost extra. She gonna say no. Then Bo Bindel gonna feel like a big time jerk he no get hashbrowns. But who gonna need hashbrowns on top of all 'dat wheat toast with raspberry jelly stuff like 'dat?

Why she not just give hashbrown? Always they gotta put Bo on the spot like this. Omelette got it big-time protein. Toast got it big-time carb-whatever. Jelly got it big-time raspberry. What hashbrown for?

Still, 'dough, she just gonna give it to me free anyway. Don't be jerk Bo Bindel. Get hashbrown.

(Forty minutes later.)

Beovark: Bo Bindel, you gonna eat you hashbrown?

Bo Bindel: Yeah, Bo Bindel gonna eat him hashbrown.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 29, 2005

Bo Bindel: *pant* *pant* *pant*

Dunnogard: *pant* *pant* *pant*

Bo Bindel: Dunnogard.... *pant* You no can do that.

Dunnogard: *pant* Do what?

Bo Bindel: You no can -- before we fighting with Outcasts -- take shirt off, hold shirt in front of chest, put chin down on top of shirt, fold left sleeve, fold right sleeve, then drape shirt over arms you got folded in front of you, all while telling Outcasts to, "Hold on. Hold on."

Dunnogard: But Bo.... This no Donatella. This Black-Label ORIGINAL Giovanni Versace.

*SMACK!*

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 26, 2005

Bo Bindel: Svrgyn talk to Troll's insider at Colosseum? Get us security info on Elvis Night?

Svrgyn: Yeah. Security gonna be:

Shaun;
Cadence;
Avril;
Del;
Samson;
Anton;
Bill;
Schultzy;
Kent;
Ed;
Nate;
Sydney.

Take second letter of every name. Security guards gonna spell: Have A Nice Day.

Bo Bindel: Huh? They kapes? Rent-a-rabbits? Bo ask Svrgyn full-description.

Svrgyn: Ohhh.

Bo Bindel: What?

Svrgyn: Thought Bo say "decryption."

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 25, 2005

Bo Bindel: Okay! Bo Bindel crew gotta pull it together!

You guys gotta Go Where Eagles Dare! When the Aces High and it Two Minutes to Midnight, you gotta say, 'Me no gonna Run to the Hills! Me gonna be Running Free!'

Look...! You know The Number of the Beast no gonna call itself! You gotta pick up the phone and dial, dial, dial, baby! Dial hard!

You gotta Die with Your Boots On if you gonna die! Or else...! You never gonna have Sanctuary! You never gonna have Piece of Mind! You gonna be Powerslave all you life!

'Dat's it! Pep rally over!

*shooooooooom!*

Svrgyn: What was 'dat all about?

Dunnovel: Momma Bindel just get him Iron Maiden box set.

Svrgyn: Ah.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 24, 2005

'Dis month question come from Ms. Persimmons. She live around corner from Bo Bindel and got her some stuff to say.

Question: Bo Bindel, my name is Hilda Persimmons. I'm a little old lady that lives on Oak Street in Skyway City. Would you Trolls, PLEASE, leave Skyway City once and for all and leave us law-respecting citizens alone...PLEASE!?

Answer: And miss out on all that park access? You crazy, lady.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 23, 2005

Beovark: Anyone ever tell you, you look just like Elvis?

Bubba Buvlowski: Excuse me?

*SMASH*

*dial tone*

Beovark: Bo Bindel, 'dis Beovark. Yeah. Last year's winner no look like he gonna be 'Dancing with Him Self" any time soon.

What you mean 'dat no Elvis?

*click*

Hello? Jerk.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 22, 2005

Bo Bindel having meeting 'bout this Elvis contest with Svrgyn and Beovark. Svrgyn got him little Clock with him 'cause he always gotta be special.

"So, Svrgyn got him floor plan for Talos Island Colosseum," say Svrgyn.

"Why you got that?" Bo asking.

"'Dis where annual lookalike contest for Elviseses being held," say Svrgyn.

"What if heroes gonna want to fight each other?" ask Bo.

"You know," say Svrgyn. "Hasn't really come up.

"As you see, there real narrow shaft go from ballot counting room to main floor. Contest gonna lead to three final Elviseses. Problem is, there gonna be 100 Elviseses gunning to be among three finalists. First step to decide how we gonna rig all 'dem ballots to get Mr. Lee in top three contestants."

"'Dat interesting problem," say Bo. "How big ventilator shaft go from main floor to ballot counting room?"

"'Bout two feet," say Svrgyn.

"Hmmm," say Bo.

"What you thinking?" say Svrgyn.

"Oh, there just one of us 'dat gonna be able to get through that shaft real easy," say Bo.

"Look," say Svrgyn. "Svrgyn no biggest Troll, but Svrgyn no two-feet either, and as for that one day in Red River...it was really cold."

"What you talking about?" say Beovark. "It like 70 degrees that day at least."

Svrgyn beat chest. Bo shut everybody up.

"Svrgyn not who Bo talking about," say Bo.

"Junior small, but not that small," say Svrgyn.

"Junior not who Bo Bindel talking about either," say Bo.

Svrgyn ask, "Who you mean then?"

"Well," say Bo. "Who about 1 and half feet tall? And who about 1/2 foot in diameter? And who made outta metal and eat Momma Bindel's toaster oven for lunch?"

"No. Nooooooo. No!" Svrgyn say, "Don't even think about it! Dat gonna be too dangerous, you talking 'bout Svrgyn's Gear!"

"Oh, come on, Svrgyn," say Bo.

"It too dangerous," say Svrgyn.

"Him criminal anyway," say Bo. "How rigging contest gonna be too dangerous for criminal?"

"Don't you talk like 'dat around Gear," say Svrgyn. "Him very sensitive."

"Svrgyn, what you covering?" Say Beovark, "Clock no have ears."

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 19, 2005

Bo Bindel: Hey, Crystal Titan. Bo Bindel come all this way cause Bo got idea for you.

Bo Bindel get him slushy at Mega Mart, and Bo Bindel thinking, 'How oome there no Devoured Earth called Raspberry? Raspberry good.'

You gonna have you Blue Raspberry; those be like you lieutenants. Then you gonna have you Red Raspberry; those be like you minions. 'Dat way.... You gonna' be delicious!!

So, what you think Bo Bindel's idea, Crstal-whatever? *Slurp* *Slurp* *Slurp*

Crystal Titan: *Click* *Click* *Click* *Crickety Crickety Crickety* *Click* *Click* *Creeeeeeeeech*

Bo Bindel: You know, you look much bigger standing up. *Slurp* Uh oh.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 18, 2005

*Knock Knock Knock*

"Come out Burger King bathroom stuff, Svrgyn," say Bo Bindel. "Dis Bo Bindel!"

"No," say Svrgyn. "Svrgyn no coming out! You guys gonna smash Gear!"

"No," say Bo Bindel. "We just here to talk!"

"Yeah," say Svrgyn. "Dat just what mom said 'bout Sea Monkeys!"

"Who cares?" Beovark say, "Sea Monkeys no work anyway!"

"Shut. Up. Beovark," whisper Bo Bindel.

"Well," whisper Beovark. "They don't."

"See, Beovark there," say Svrgyn. "Him gonna smash Gear for sure! Him mad about boulder stick stuff!"

"Come on, Svrgyn," say Bo Bindel. "Bo Bindel make Beovark promise him not mad!"

Svrgyn say, "Beovark gonna be mad anyway!"

"People outside wanna buy hamburgers, plus rabbits camped out there," say Bo Bindel. "Sooner or later kape jerks gonna be here too, and they gonna smash Svrgyn's baby Clock for sure!"

"Besides, we just gotta figure out this Elvis stuff. We no gonna be able to figure out without Svrgyn's big-time brain."

"Well, okay," say Svrgyn. "We coming out Burger King bathroom now!"

*Creeeeeeeek*

"Sea Monkeys no work," say Beovark like him gonna sneak it in.

"Beovark...!" Say Bo Bindel.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 17, 2005

Bo Bindel: Come on, Junior! Let's go, Beovark! We leaving Momma Bindel's now.

Beovark: Where we going 'gain?

Bo Bindel: Burger King right down here on main street.

Beovark: Beovark just ate.

Bo Bindel: We no going to eat. We gotta have us meeting with Svrgyn 'bout 'dis Elvis stuff.

*SMASH*

Beovark: How you know him there?

Bo Bindel: Him hiding in bathroom with Clockwork pet guaranteed. Svrgyn thinking we gonna kill it some stuff.

*SMASH*

Svrgyn did same thing when Momma Svrgyn flush Sea Monkeys down toilet. Lock himself in BK bathroom 5 days him so mad.

*SMASH*

Plus, "Police Line Do Not Cross" and rabbits in parking lot dead giveaway.

*SMASH*

Hey, Junior! Why you keep trailing behind!?

Junior: Guys...!! All these windows got stuff behind 'em we can take!!

Beovark: He love him stickball bat.

Bo Bindel: Junior...! Get baking clock for Momma Bindel!

Bo love him stickball bat.

And recliner! And front door!

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 16, 2005

*dial tone*

Bo Bindel: Sammy Hagar!? 'Dis Bo Bindel.

Sammy Hagar: Rock and Rooooooooooooooo...! Far out, maaaaaaaa.... Woo hooooooooooooooooo!

Bo Bindel: Yeah, dis' Sammy Hagar Troll?

Sammy Hagar: Woah hoah, man. You are woo hooooooo hoooooooooooo!

Bo Bindel: Any way, Bo Bindel got him problem down that way named Cay Man. You got you big rock?

Sammy Hagar: I just wanna rooooooo..... Yeah heah! Wooooooooooooooooohoo!

Bo Bindel: Yeah, well, if you no have big rock, they pretty easy to find. Maybe you no have big rocks down there sun and stuff. Bo Bindel find series of head butts can fix problem pretty quick too.

So, what you think? You gonna be able to help Skyway City Troll with Cay Man problem?

Sammy Hagar: Dude, man. That is sooooooooooo.... Yeah heh heahhhhhh! Man, we are so woah hoah hooooooooh! Rock ouuuuuuuuuuu......! Woooooh!

Bo Bindel: Yeah. Uh-huh. Any way, you get that taken care of, Bo Bindel sure gonna appreciate.

(*click*)

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 15, 2005

"Alright, Mr. Lee," Bo say. "What you want with Bo Bindel?"

"You hear of Elvis Presrey, right?" ask Mr. Lee.

"Bo think so," say Bo. "Folk singer hit him stride in '76.

"You gonna want us to rig contest for pretty big-time money. Trolls keep money. You gonna be Mr. Pres-LEE for a year. Mr. Shui gonna get part ownership you restaurant that Bo Bindel get for you.

"'Dat the deal! Okay, let Bo hear what Bo got to work with."

"Hold on. Hold on," whisper Beovark. "Don't Mr. Lee got him Tsoo problem we just help him out with?"

"According to Svrgyn calculation," whisper Svrgyn. "Bo Bindel crew surviving war with Steel Canyon Tsoo about 100 to 1."

"Well," whisper Beovark. "What Beovark chance of surviving another Mr. Lee Elvis imperso-thing?"

"About 1 in 5," whisper Svrgyn.

"What that mean?" whisper Beovark.

"'Dat mean him gonna sing," say Bo Bindel.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 12, 2005

So last night Bo Bindel and Beovark going to Coolio Eidolon concert. Him see ex-girlfriend with White Knuckle Willy and getting all mad; why she with him and all 'dat. Bo Bindel tell him maybe it cuz him so angry jerk all da time. Beovark gonna bust Bo Bindel right in the mouth.

And you know what?

Him right.

Dat why guys no talk.

And no should talk.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 11, 2005

Beovark: Monologing!

Svrgyn: Pithy lines!

Beovark: Monologing!

Svrgyn: Pithy lines!

Bo Bindel: Now what you two fighting about?

Svrgyn: Beovark say when hero jerk talking too much, it monologing. Him too dumb to know that when villain jerk talking too much, 'dat monologing. When hero jerk talking too much, him do...pithy lines.

Pithy lines!

Beovark: Monologing!

Svrgyn: Pithy lines!

Beovark: Monologing!

Bo Bindel: Sheesh.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 10, 2005

Bo Bindel: We got Svrgyn's Clock cornered now. Don't take eyes off it!

Dunnogard: It keep shocking me 'dough!

Bo Bindel: Bo no care right now.

*rumble* *rumble *rumble*

Bo Bindel: Junior, stickball bat ready?

Junior: Stick is ready.

*Rumble* *Rumble* *Rumble*

Bo Bindel: Dunnovel, you got you left flank. Dunnogard, you got you right flank.

Dunnogard: What flank again?

Bo Bindel: Bo not sure. Seen it in movie once.

*RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE*

Bo Bindel: Easy. Eeeeaaaasy. No sudden movements.

*BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!*

Svrgyn: Nooooooooooooooo! 'Dat Svrgyn's Clock!

Bo Bindel: Great Rocks of Atta! What just happened!?

Dunnovel: Big boulder just come through Momma Bindel's front door!

Bo Bindel: Where'd stupid Clock go!?

Dunnovel: Svrgyn ran in after boulder! Him run out with Clock like him carrying little baby something!

Bo Bindel: Hoooooooly crap! Bo Bindel always figured Svrgyn's boulder and stick story was just like girlfriend in Niagara Falls! Where Beovark?!

Dunnovel: Think him and Momma Bindel's recliner underneath boulder!

Bo Bindel: Beovark! Can you hear Bo Bindel!? What Troll's Life say 'bout big boulder?!

Dunnogard: Check "New Products" section!

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 9, 2005

Big-time Troll stakeout going on! We got first can on Momma Bindel's floor. Second can hanging over first can.

Now, we wait. Gear go for first can, Dunnovel give string slack, and Gear not gonna be arch-enemy to Troll p-rn any more! (Beovark still pretending him read.)

"Guys," say Beovark. "Clock no going for first can. Clock going for toaster oven."

"'Dere it is!" say Dunnogard. "Get Clock!"

But Clock gonna scurry somewhere else. Momma Bindel got lot of furniture we hiding behind 'til Gear come out again. Beovark, big-time jerk, gonna recline out in open.

"Guys," say Beovark. "Clock no going after first can. Clock going after lamp."

"Go! Go! Go," say Bo Bindel.

Now him run off with light bulb or something. Still, we waiting.

"Guys," say Beovark. "Clock no going after 1st metal can. Clock going after Bo Bindel Crew Official Troll Time-Out Clock."

"Smash it, Junior!," but him gonna miss. No more Bo Bindel Crew Official Troll Time-Out Clock. Momma Bindel gonna be so mad. "#$$%#!"

How Clock keep getting away from us like 'dis?! Him either too small, too fast or too smart.

"Guys," say Beovark. "Clock no going after first can. Clock going after second can."

Everybody but Beovark: "RAAAAWR!"

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 8, 2005

Bo Bindel crew, but Beovark, setting up big-time trap for Svrgyn's Clock. Svrgyn love him Gear, but Svrgyn know how we feel 'bout stupid Clockwork Knights. Plus, him never around any way.

Bo Bindel got him first can. Dunnogard got him second.

Dunnogard gonna go, "HEY. BO BINDEL. DUNNOGARD PUT BIG-TIME BUTTON ON INSIDE OF CANS.

"WE GONNA TALK ON BIG-TIME PHONE NOW."

"DAT GREAT, DUNNOGARD," say Bo through first metal can. "BUT BO BINDEL NO KNOW DAT RIGHT.

"Hey, Dunnovel," Bo yelling to downstairs. "String gonna go from first can to second can!?"

"No," Dunnovel yell. "String gonna go from second can to ceiling place!"

"SEE," say Bo Bindel through first can.

"'KAY," say Dunnogard through second.

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 5, 2005

"Bo Bindel! Dunnovel got it!" say Dunnovel.

"What 'dat?" say Bo.

"We gonna take two metal cans," say Dunnovel. "One bigger. One smaller. We gonna set one can on ground and hang other can above it as trap.

"When Svrgyn's Gear come to get 1st metal can, 2nd metal can gonna fall on top of it and trap it. 'Den Clock gonna be gone."

"Bo Bindel ready to try anything at this point," say Bo Bindel. "Not too many more Teen Titans before Momma Bindel coming home."

"What can bigger can?" ask Dunnogard.

"Second one," say Dunnovel

"And which can smaller can?" ask Bo.

"First one," say Dunnovel.

"And which can falling on Clock?" Dunnogard gonna ask.

"Second one," say Dunnovel.

"'Dat should work." say Bo. "Hey, Beovark. You gonna help us with Svrgyn's Clock, or you just gonna pretend to read Troll's Life all day?"

"Got good sidebar on why Troll better than Solomon Grundy," say stupid Beovark.

*Grumble* *Grumble*

Bo Bindel's Big-Time Diry
Bo Bindel
Resident Troll, Skyway City
AUGUST 4, 2005

*Riiiiing*

Bo Bindel: 'Dis Bo Bindel.

Oglost: Hey, Bo. You calling?

Bo Bindel: Yeah, Oglost. Hey.

Bo wondering...you know we got any Trolls in Carri-whatever?

Oglost: What you mean?

Bo Bindel: You know...whatever-bbean.

Oglost: No. No, Trolls there.

Welll...there is this one Troll live down that way.

Bo Bindel: What him name?

Oglost: Sammy Hagar.

Bo Bindel: Sammy Hagar Troll?! Bo Bindel knew it!

What 'bout Coach Andersen...7th grade gym teacher?!

Oglost: Huh?

Bo Bindel: Nevermind.