FZRDude

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Arc# 25911

So you want to join the Agency?

This arc has AV's if you are on larger teams with the settings high. I run it solo on challenge lvl 4 and that keeps them to EB's which are manageable. I am looking for input on the story, concept and dialogue of the NPC's in the mission if anyone can help out.


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Just ran this with my 50 Inv/SS tank on Challenge level 2. Not completely IOed out, but with a good number of Set Bonuses.

First problem was the attitude of the contact toward the player. It was not too bad in the first mission, but the later ones made it seem like the player was a newbie just starting out. Even at the lowest levels the missions can be played, this just sounds and feels wrong.

You have the basis of a good story, or at least a fun one, but the attitude of the contact was immersion breaking.

There was also a disconnect in the story. Even reading all of the clues and the mission text, it did not flow easily. It was especially apparent with the third mission, with the sudden addition of the Rikti. Some foreshadowing of that would help.

The EBs were not too bad. Although the custom EB in the last mission is enough of a pain without 2 ambushes. Especially the second one with the multiple debuffers and end drainers. I had to kite them away from the EB to beat them, and the only reason I could was Unstoppable. They may be easier on a team, but solo control specialists will not be able to get through. You mention the AV/EBs being in the arc, but that doesn't stop most of us.

Typo, it is interrogate, not interrigate. It is spelled incorrectly in 3 or 4 different places in the third mission. But that was the only one that stood out.

Spawning the last boss at the front of the the map on the last mission? Bad idea. Having to run all the way back to find him is not fun. If it just happened to spawn there for me, make sure it is one of the first encounters you have in the mission details. That may not stop it from happening, but it will keep it to a minimum.

Your dialogue for the last boss in the last mission? Very bad. One reason I avoid that particular group is how hard it can be to write their dialogue. Best thing to do is look at the information on them at ParagonWiki and run the dialogue by several different people familiar with the group.

Like I said, a decent story, although not really my normal cup of tea. The attitude of the contact toward the player and the final dialogue are the real weak points.

My next one that could use a look:

Title: Simple Times
ID: 70801
Levels: 4-15
Description: Talshak the Mystic has asked for your help with a minor clean up mission in a warehouse. Happens all the time, no big deal, just giving someone a quick helping hand. At least that was how it started. Sequel to Future Skulls,ID 4727. [SFMA/LBMA]

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Thanks for the info and taking the time to run the arc. Ironically I thought I had corrected the interrogate spelling issue before. Thanks about the dialogue in the end mission, the paragonwiki may be helpful as I really have no idea what to write for that particular group. The last boss is supposed to summon at the end of the mission, and it is odd because about 50% of the time it is at the end in the second tunnel and 50% of the time he spawns pretty much at the front door. Not really sure how to correct that one.

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Hello everyone. Can somone please give my Arc a look?

Arc Name: The Seven Deadly Sins
Arc ID: [color:r ed] [/color] 5568
Faction: Neutral
Creator Global: @Shay 'd
Difficulty Level: Medium/Hard
Synopsis: Do you have what it takes to defeat The Seven Deadly Sins, and save The Seven Virtues? SFMA
Estimated Time to Play: 1 mission, 15-20 mins

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I just finished this mission. I have to say I thought the concept worked well. There were a couple of issues I have with it though. The entry popup and exit popup don't really inform you of anything. It was just go there, thankyou and that was pretty much it, I thought that could be elaborated more.

When I got inside the mission I thought that the idea and costumes for the captives worked well. I thought that was the best part of the mission. I was saddened when I went to read about the "Virtues" and there was no text written for them at all. Just the typical boss text. I also found the same with the Sins, which I have to say was the biggest dissappointment for me in the mission.

I like the combination of the ghosts and banished pantheon but I felt that the costumes for both the sins and virtues were too similar. Nothing to really help identify them. I felt some of the sins made sense though, Wrath being a fire blaster/fire tank or brute, and envy being a martial arts/kinetics. The rest of them I didn't think had any planning on the powers, just didn't get it if there was.

The foes were medium to the harder range when we are talking the Elite Bosses, I solo'd this arc on an Energy/Dark brute on challenge lvl 4. This is the level I can pretty much run with. I will say I had no issues with your EB's until I got to Wrath and Greed, those too were tough. I ended up going and getting the "virtues" I had rescued to come and help me with those two. Well 3 of them at least.

I am not a big fan of a lot of helpers in a mission, one or two ussually will work. They also kill steal a lot. I would walk into a mob of BP and hit one and the mob of 6 were all dead. Getting credit for only the one kill.

Overall I enjoyed the mission, I hope the critique above is not taken negatively. I just wanted to read more about the captives and the bosses in the fights. As well as more information as to why I am going there in the first place? Other than just this dude asked me to go.

I have a mission that I posted here a month back and got a review then. Since then I have totally revamped the arc and was hoping someone could give it another try.

Arc# 25911

So you want to join the Agency?

This arc has AV's if you are on larger teams with the settings high. I run it solo on challenge lvl 4 and that keeps them to EB's which are manageable. I am looking for input on the story, concept and dialogue of the NPC's in the mission if anyone can help out.

Thanks

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My Arc is #25911
"So you want to join the Agency?" if anyone wants to give it a go

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I think yours got skipped (ironically) so I ran it. I took my 50 scrapper through on heroic.

The beginning was a little confusing. Am I supposed to know what Agency this is? I've never played a villain in the high levels, so I can't tell if Marshal Blitz is part of canon or not, not that it really matters.

(By the way, something seemed to go wrong with the spacing in the intro text, like a blank line was missing from between the paragraphs or something. Actually, all the briefing/debriefing text is like that.)

Mission 1:

When I hit Agent Burnet at the beginning, the wall of dialog from the NPC's was bigger than I could read, especially since I was busy fighting. I have the same problem with my missions. (And that happened a lot in this whole arc).

I seemed to get two clues at once. Not sure how that happened. One clue said that Agent Burnet took the documents, but agent Burnet was... no longer with me. The other clue said that Agent Honda was impressed with my conduct in the mission, but I wasn't done with the mission and don't know who Agent Honda is.

Mission 2:
Briefing - decypher should be decipher. beatin should be beating, or maybe beatin' but that would seem out of character for Agent Ford. maker's should be makers.

Wait, what did the mission entrance pop-up say? Something about Toyota? Not Clipper? When I found Clipper, he was a boss. Maybe tougher than a regular boss, but nothing I couldn't handle. Although Clipper was a melee boss, there was no reason for me to be using melee attacks (except that I happened to be a scrapper) so I'm not sure about calling it "hand to hand" training. I'm not sure I found Agent Ford's explanation of Clipper's behavior entirely satisfactory.

The agency sounds a lot like Vanguard.

Mission 3:
Briefing - interrigate should be interrogate. Also, I think you're using the word Rogue too much, and I'm not sure why it's capitalized so often. The Agency is made up of Rogues, some of whom are villains, so there must be current or former Arachnos members in there. But the Rogue Arachnos were the enemies in the first mission. And then you refer to the Agency as Rogues, and then you refer to the Arachnos as Rogues, and... I don't know. Just seemed like that word was overused a bit. Congrats on spelling it correctly, though! There is a lot of rouge going around in the MA.

Mission entrance pop-up: You know, as a level 50 hero, I really didn't feel like a nobody yesterday.

The fight with Arakhn was a bit of a let down. After all the talk about how deadly she was, she spawned as a Lieutenant? I guess 'cause I was running on heroic, but still. And I think her dialog could be better. Four question marks is a bit much. And having her tell me that I had assured her that I was not working with the Rikti didn't make much sense. I didn't assure her of anything. I just hit her.

Mission 4:
Briefing - I can see what you are trying to accomplish, but the Agent doesn't come off as being sneaky or deceitful so much as confused and erratic. It's a good idea, but I think the dialog should be fine-tuned.

Mission entrance pop-up: Who is the "I" here? If you are telling me what I think, then that feels a bit intrusive. And I think in the previous mission pop-up, you were using "we". It might be better to stick to more objective, external things in these pop-ups, rather than telling me what I am thinking.

Blitz did some serious kill stealing until I ditched him.

The ending was kind of a let down, I'm afraid. The fights were fun, especially with all the ambushes. The final AV (scaled down to EB) almost beat me until I popped some inspirations. For a minute I was afraid I wouldn't be able to finish the arc because I couldn't find the final boss. Well, for several minutes. I got him eventually, back near the beginning.

The story, though, kind of fell down at the end. I think too much of the actual plan was explained too late, while the "surprise" was hinted at too strongly too early. The fundamental question I was left with was "Why did they call me in the first place?" The reasons given in the text seemed either weak or contradictory.

All in all, I think the arc has potential. The first thing you need to do is examine the story from the bad guy's point of view and make sure that everything he does makes sense from his point of view. Then take another pass at the dialog to make sure it fully supports the story. Then one more pass to tidy up the spelling and apostrophes.

If anyone wants to run a mission of mine, it won't take long. The only thing I've published on live so far is Doctor Nadir and the Hellion Heist. It's very short, suitable for soloists and lowbies. Arc #49661.

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Thanks for the detailed writeup, it has helped me huge. I have to say I have had some differences of opinon on a few things, the one boss that you mentioned wasnt so tough was originally an AV, and I had complaints that people couldn't solo her so I bumped her down. After your comments I have repaired all of the spelling errors, made a few changes to the story, and made her an AV once again. I figured there was one at the end already, another in the middle won't change anything. Thanks again, I feel I definately have made things clearer and the story as a whole more enjoyable thanks to your feedback.

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I think mine got skipped...

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The Great Diamond Heist (ArcID: 96169)

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I just ran this arc, and I have to say I really enjoyed the writing before and after the missions. Well thought out, and well written. No standout gramatical or spelling errors. I liked the concept, liked the npc's involved etc. I got to the last mission and I was a little dissappointed, I enjoyed it, but the creativity slowed down. I was surprised by the names of the guards, guard 1, guard 2 etc. I thought you could have been more original there.

I also had an issue with the Super Brutes at the end, it says to avoid them, which when I first saw them I did not. I paid for it, I was on a 50 brute on vicious and still they hit me for 75% of my hp with one hit. Was crazy. I just didn't think they fit the rest of the story. I rated you 4 stars and sent you a comment based on that.

My Arc is #25911
"So you want to join the Agency?" if anyone wants to give it a go

Thanks for checkin it out. Unfortunately the vague aspects of the first few missions were done on purpose. It all ties back into the 4th and final mission. It explains everything you see before that. Sad part is I didn't want the mission 3 boss to be an AV, but I wanted a Council Boss. Oh well I went back and actually edited it and Created a new boss, same name and general appearance and she will spawn as an EB now instead. Only one issue, the last mission does have an AV in it, and that one is unavoidable. If you get there you will understand completely why as well. Mind you if you play on challenge lvl 4 or lower solo they do spawn as an EB.

Now, if anyone would like to try my arc and comment on it, I would greatly appreciate it.
Super Science Invasion
Arc ID:9691
Missions:5
Description:Legendary arbiter Stanley Kirby has come out of retirement for one last assingment.
Info: Plenty of EBs in this one, I wouldn't solo unless you're ready for that kind of fight.

-Galth


Did this arc, not bad, I agree the cast of characters were pretty good. I enjoyed the storyline. I did solo the arc, and actually unlike some I have tried recently found it possible. Was tough at times. But I have gone into some where I am solo and I spawn AV's on lvl 3. I have also seen way too many that have impossible AV's. Good job on the difficulty.

I have an arc that I really would like some outside opinions on. I have had a bunch of in game friends run it and they all enjoyed it greatly. I have 7 reviews and all were 5 stars. The problem with people rating something that you know, if they thought it was average they may give you 5 stars just to be your bud. The arc in question is a conspiracy type arc, with a variety of bosses and foes in the mission's. It is 4 missions and shouldn't take more than 1 1/2 hours tops. What I am hoping to get critiqued more than anything is the writing and NPC dialogue in the missions. If you think the story adds up etc. I would love to hear from anyone that I can, and any and all criticisms are welcomed.

Arc #25911
So you want to join the Agency?

This arc actually references Warburg(Marshal Blitz and his Rogue Arachnos) as well as some other groups and past Rikti invasions.