Dalghryn

Dang! I could have sworn I put it up. I'll double check tonight. I frakkin' *hate* senility.

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah... it's listed now.

::Looking at the next arc on the queue:: This'll be the first "biggie" review "Consequences of War" has received since I've made the most drastic changes to it and have basically decided to sit back and "watch."

Would people start calling ma a "girlyman" if I said I was nervous?

When they introduced the level adjustment option in I15, I was of the opinion that it caused the NPC mobs to adjust accordingly. For example, my AV is listed as being levels 40 - 54, however, I thought that -- by setting the level range on my arc to 30 - 54 -- the AV would adjust accordingly.

Yesterday I got a tell from a player that said he was playing a level 33 character and had to quit when he ran into my AV because it was level 40 and impossible to beat.

Am I mistaken about the way the adjusting levels work, or was it a bug? I went ahead and rescaled my arcs to 38 - 54, just in case.

Thanks in advance.

How do you get a thread "stickied?" This one could really use that treatment.

I've been trying to find time to run one of your arcs, Lazarus, and I'm hoping to get there this weekend, but since a job, a five month old, and all the fun that comes with a family come first, I think I'll have to ask for a quickie review for now. Maybe I can ask for an upgrade later, depending on how long your queue is. Anyway...

Arc ID: 227331
Arc Title: The Consequences of War - Part 1
Author: @Dalghryn
Morality: Heroic
Number of Missions: 5
Description: On May 23, 2002, the Rikti invaded Earth. During the war that followed, tens of thousands of civilians, soldiers and heroes sacrificed their lives to save Earth. Over 200 heroes made their ultimate sacrifice on the same day. This is their story.

Thanks very much for your time.

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As a side note, I'm noticing that I'm catching up with my backlog. I'd say that I promise to be nice if you submit your arcs for review, but that'd go against the spirit of the title.

C'mon, I know you guys are making new arcs with the new slots you can buy! Let me at 'em!

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I'm trying to decide which would take more guts, suggesting you could think about re-running The Consequences of War - Part 1, since I've changed it up considerably since your first run (in no small part as a result of your input), or tossing Part 2 into the ring.

Meh... I think I'll just walk away right now and let you decide if you even want to go there.

Yeah, I know I've doubled my effort, but I wasn't certain if you caught everything I yammered about last night as fast as I was sending scrolling tells.

Thanks again.

Not to speak for Police Woman, but, when I published my two related arcs with the same idea in mind (that it's all one long story instead of two related arcs), it was pointed out to me several times that, though the arcs can be part of a whole story, big picture kind of thing, they should still be able to stand alone with a clear beginning, middle and end.

Mine didn't start out that way, but thanks to a considerable amount of constructive criticism, they're that way now -- and both arcs are far stronger for it. The way I hope to lure people into running the second arc, and finding out the ultimate fates of some of the characters in the first arc, is by giving them a solid story and creating empathy for the characters and situation.

While I don't think anyone has run the second arc, yet, without having run the first, it still still stands alone. In short, and without having run your arc myself, if Police Woman has made points regarding questions she has about your arc, they're probably points worth considering (he says, while only one review away from being under her gun himself ).

Last night I decided to grab the wife (figuratively) and play an arc just for fun. It's been awhile since I've done that, and I'm not even a "real" reviewer. You guys (and gals) are underpaid. Anyway, the fun arc I wanted to try was Ctrl - Alt - Reset, and you didn't let me down.

First, I ran it with "The 22nd Century Man," a level 19 Shield/Broadsword scrapper on the heroic setting. 22CM is a time traveler from 2141, so the theme of the arc couldn't have been better if the connection were deliberate. It made for some great RP.

Now, rather than do a mission-by-mission report, I'll pretty much just cut to the chase.

The Bad - Let's see. There were... 1... 2... 3... 4... um... 6 spelling/punctuation errors. My wife's a former English teacher, you see, so if I don't catch them, she will. I know I lined them out in the mission feedback, but just in case you're senile like me, they are:

Mission #1 intro or send off dialogue - "alright" should be two words, "all right." (I'm not really sure where it was. This was a wife-catch because I ignored it, but she insisted. Yes, I know this horse has been beaten to death, but if I don't included it, *I* may be beaten to death.)

Mission #3 - There's a comma splice in the mission intro pop-up. Another wife-catch, and she said there was another one somewhere else, another pop-up, I think. I'd know a comma splice 6 out of ten times if I saw one, really.

Mission #3 - Marx's dialogue has the word "separate" spelled s-e-p-e-r-a-t-e. Yay me! I caught that one.

Mission #4 - Time Shifter's description includes the mis-spelled "monsterous," rather than "monstrous."

Mission #5 - Time Shifter's remains should have the word "hundreds" properly spelled.

As for other "problems," well, I'd include a custom description for the Halo Time Shifters rather than the one that comes with the mob, and... um... well... That's about all the bad stuff I could find.

To make a long story not as long. The arc was extremely well written, with good detail and appropriate clues. It was solid, humorous, and entertaining. The Mission #3 clues were a riot, especially the one with the lyrics. I all but rolled out of my chair.

The only way I can see that you're sitting on a 4 star rating with this, instead of a 5 star rating, is because of minor errors like those I just pointed out. Me, I'm not nearly so picky. Six spelling errors and a missing description do NOT warrant the loss of a star in my book, at least not by themselves. So, without further adieu, I give you...

5 Big Time Looped Stars Out of 5!

Oh, and I think I yammered on quite enough about my arcs during our conversation in tells last night, so I won't belabor all that.

Thanks for a fun evening, Bubbawheat.

Back to me.

Thans to a few friendly suggestions, I've made some minor text changes... nothing that most people would even notice. Thanks to the latest patch, I changed the plasma bombs in the first arc to a-bombs and the "jammers" in the second arc to some kind of neat-looking Rikti gadget or the other. Neither does damage any more, so all you have to worry about is the "shellheads" themselves.

If this has been mentioned elsewhere, forgive me, but I couldn't find it. Anyway, I just logged in and found that both my arcs were unpublishable because the destructive items I'd selected had been unselected. I don't know if that affected the live version, but I had to reselect the original items and republish.

I'm sure it's a result of the patch that made destructable objects that used to cause damage just destruct now.

I've been waiting for you to hit 30 before opening my yap, so now's the time, I guess...

I've set my "The Consequences of War" arcs (noted in my signature) at 30 - 54. The AVs at the end of each arc would scale to EBs, but they might still be a challenge. Both arcs have been good XP earners when I've play-tested them with characters lower than 50, so they may work well for you.

In any case, I figured I'd add them to your "suggested playing" list.

There's always Consequences of War - Part 2 if you're up for seeing where the Rikti War goes from Part 1.

Heck yeah, I'm going to take a look. I'm eligible for retirement in August and have enough vacation time built up to carry me through!

If he's at all serious, I do hope they're up for looking at applicants that have solid arcs that may not have 999 reads. A lot of people that got early arcs in got the benefit of a low content supply. Others have simply had more time to market their arcs, run review threads, and so on. Those folks that had other obligations that delayed their creations and those that don't have time to do a couple reviews a night might have material just as good, or better than, the current Dev's Choices and other award winners. They simply haven't had the opportunity to put them front and center.

Wow, is that announcement gonna stir the pot.

Let's start from the beginning...

The intro and much of the rest of the arc is rather sparse on information. You might want to work with your dad on fleshing it out, taking advantage of the clues and dialogue fields to make the characters and scenarios more understandable.

The use of a new Mender is interesting, but I'm not sure it wouldn't make a stronger story if you go ahead and just use Mender Lazarus, since many people know who he is and you'd already have his established canon as unsaid support for your story rather than introducing someone that you'll either need to flesh out or leave as a relative unknown.

I like the premise of the Rikti going back in time to alter history so they win the first war. Tying the Rikti to Ouroboros is really a neat idea that combines two totally different aspects of CoH canon together.

Your custom mobs are a unique concept, but you might want to include a mix of Rikti in order to solidify the fact that this *is* a Rikti plot and, again, use your clues and dialogue fields to explain in more detail how it all works. That would include giving the custom NPCs their own descriptions.

As you've noted, there are quite a few punctuation and typing errors, but you've already said you were going to look into those after you got back from your trip - which I hope you're enjoying. BTW.

If you're going to use as many bosses and EBs as you do, you also need to explain *why* they're there. Again, added detail will make a huge difference. Either that, or cut back on the number of big hitters you use.

The use of ambushes makes for a believeable war-like situation, but they've established that the Rikti have translators (provided they are modern Rikti and not the originals or pre-war Rikti). You should work on adding dialogue for the Rikti that supports your premise. Honestly, it looks like you've concentrated more on the technical to the detriment of the story. Shore up the story and it'll be a lot more solid.

As far as the end is concerned, add clues and diaolgue that flesh out the data collection and transfer idea so it doesn't just come out of the blue. The player doesn't have to know it's coming per se, but there should be clues or information that he or she can think back on and do something of an "Oh, yeah..." forehead slap.

As it stands, your arc needs work on its theme and, as I said, it needs quite a bit of prose work to make it stronger, but since this is your first draft, you've got plenty of time and room to fix all that.

My scale uses 1 star for stories that are obviously in the "Work in Progress" stage and looking for critique. Because of that, I went ahead and gave you 1 star. The premise is really interesting. I look forward to seeing what it'll end up looking like once it's fleshed out.

Author's Note: No, I haven't run the arc, yet. This entire post was solely based on information I've gleaned from others whom I'm trusting with being accurate about their information, even if their approach was pretty blunt and faceless. I just thought it would be nice to make it a little more palatable and supportive.

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I'll probably not do Parts 1 and 2 back-to-back. Apparently if you rate two different missions within a period of time, you only get tickets for the first mission that was rated. I played one of Wrong Number's arcs and rated it. Then I played another one the next day, and she didn't get any tickets from the second mission.

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Like I'm going to complain? While I've done my best to write them so they are distinct arcs that don't necessarily have to be run together, the chance to have a reviewer run them both and offer a big picture perspective is great.

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This shows the problem with getting reviews. People give you feedback and you end making changes to make things better.

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It's not the change-making that's the problem, it's the stuff you miss that's linked to the changes you made that's the problem. I've screamed out loud several times and prayed quite fervently that no one's run one of my arcs after finding mistakes resulting from changes that required dialogue corrections I'd missed, and so on.

It's one of the prices of being anal retentive about such things, I guess. Then again, by the time some of these reviewers get hold of you, you become anal retentive about such things as a survival mechanism.

You're one of the few "biggie" reviewers I haven't hit up, but since my arcs are both high level, I'll just sit back and watch your thread some more. Fair warning, expect me to pounce when the opportunity presents itself.

Although I'm technically not an "official" reviewer, I've got a short list of arcs I owe reviews to. This one caught my eye because of the theme, though, so I'm going to que it up as well.

It's interesting how different people will run in opposite directions with the same theme. You're looking at a scenario that allows the character to try to prevent the First Rikti War, while my scenario puts the character in a position of having to live through it as it happened, doing his or her best to make a difference without being able to change the outcome.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing your take. It should be interesting.

Airhead asked me to post my review of this arc on my thread (and I did), but I wanted to drop a quick note to say that I, too, ran it and gave it 5 stars. Is it a niche arc? Meh... If comedy is considered a niche, then, yeah, I guess so.

But there are so many comedy arcs out there that it's a *huge* niche. And this is one of the better comedy arcs out there. That's one of the things about reviews that can sometimes be bothersome. Instead of approaching an arc from a "big picture perspective" and rating an arc based on it's overall technical and story competence and appeal to the broader CoH audience, some reviewers tend to let their rating be affected almost solely on whether it scratched their personal itches.

While that is certainly *part* of what should go into a review, it shouldn't outweigh overall technical and storytelling superiority. Personally, if I play an arc that has good playability with a solid plot and good prose that I also enjoy on a personally level, it'll get 5 stars. If it is otherwise equal, but just doesn't grab me because of the groups involved or the time period or some other reason, I'll drop it to 4 stars.

It'll never get kicked down two or more star levels simply because it's not my cup of tea. But then I don't have time to start my own review thread, so it's only an opinion.

Part 1 *and* Part 2? While I wish every reviewer would be able to make the time to run both arcs for perspective's sake, that's biting off a crit of nearly task force proportions -- and I appreciate it.

Like I've said, I already have notes ready to write up for The Horsemen Chronicles. I'll add The Wolfpack Chronicles to my list.

D'oh! Yeah, obviously I missed that.

So, I'll switch gears...

CONGRATULATIONS! My first baby girl was born 5 months ago, so I can relate. Let's see if you can top the fact that my two boys are 23 and 19 years old respectively.

Sorry to see you're not reviewing, but it's for a good cause. Enjoy!

Excellent idea, Bubbawheat. Forewarned is forearmed. Although, (and I may live to regret saying this) even those reviewers that might tend to grind your particular arc into mincemeat can catch things and give you ideas you hadn't thought of.

Getting a 2 star may be painful, but if the arc still sees even some improvement as a result (as, I think, mine did after one rather gut-wrenching review), it may be worth it to "Man up" and submit anyway. Which reminds me, there's one reviewer I've yet to submit to...

CR, As I mentioned in my tell, I ran "The Horseman Chronicles" last night. Once I get ready, would you like the review here or in my The Consequences or War thread?

Question... or rather, questions.

First, are you still accepting "applications?" I noticed the two week lag and don't want to add something to a list you're having a hard time keeping up with.

Second, is one 2 star rating among predominantly 4s and 5s a qualifier, or would you rather I not submit. I had one reviewer rip me apart, but most of the rest have been much kinder (thus far... I have a couple of "biggies" coming up that might change that).

Figured I'd get your input before I bugged you with a request.

Yep. You can spawn other activities based on when a specific incident is engaged or finished. Those activities can include ambushes by the enemy, new allies or bosses turning up that can in turn spawn new stuff (creating a chain effect of events if you like), and so on.

Be careful when you do this, though, because most people don't really like to have to wade back through a map that's already been mapped to find things that weren't there earlier (especially big or confusing maps). Ambushes are fine because they spawn nearby and attack, but other events might be iffy. If you do, make sure your dialogue leaves no doubt that the player character has to go back and find whatever it is.

Hope that helped.