Burning_Brawler_NA

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When:
Soon

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That word has become the bane of my existence these last few years.

I recently was informed a fix was needed for my arc due to a patch invalidation. It's been taken care of and I'd like to represent this arc for consideration.

Thanks guys!

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I hope I'm not intruding in this, but if anyone would like to try their hand at my arc:

Arc Name: Bringing A Lord to Power
Arc ID: 2782
Length: Very Long
Mission Count: 5
Morality: Villainous
Description: Blightlord has a new scheme. Whatever it is, the payoff's sure to be worth your while.

Extreme criticism welcome. ^_^

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If anyone tried to review my arc and found it invalid, I recently fixed that this evening. Please, feel free to give it a shot and let me know what you think!

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Arc Name: Bringing A Lord to Power
Arc ID: 2782
Length: Very Long
Mission Count: 5
Morality: Villainous
Description: Blightlord has a new scheme. Whatever it is, the payoff's sure to be worth your while.

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I would certainly love feedback on mine: (and I will give feedback on some of the ones listed here as well!)


Attack of the Monsters of Legend
Arc ID: 82060
Morality: Neutral
Brief Synopsis: Abraham Van Helsing, legendary arch-nemesis of Count Dracula, has been kept alive all these years by gypsy magics, and he's recruited you to help save the world from the reunion of a deadly triumvirate; Count Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, and the Wolfman. Dracula and Victor Frankenstein have combined their resources to raise Victor's monster and put together a plot to rid the world of costumed heroes and villains once and for all. But was there really a fourth member at the meeting between the Count, Dr. Frankenstein, and the wolfman, as Larry Talbot, his memories seen through the shrouded mystery of his alter ego, hazily recalls? There just might be more to all of this than it seems...

If you're a fan of the old Universal monster movies or just monsters in general, you should enjoy this.

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I would certainly love feedback on mine: (and I will give feedback on some of the ones listed here as well!)


Attack of the Monsters of Legend
Arc ID: 82060
Morality: Neutral
Brief Synopsis: Abraham Van Helsing, legendary arch-nemesis of Count Dracula, has been kept alive all these years by gypsy magics, and he's recruited you to help save the world from the reunion of a deadly triumvirate; Count Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster, and the Wolfman. Dracula and Victor Frankenstein have combined their resources to raise Victor's monster and put together a plot to rid the world of costumed heroes and villains once and for all. But was there really a fourth member at the meeting between the Count, Dr. Frankenstein, and the wolfman, as Larry Talbot, his memories seen through the shrouded mystery of his alter ego, hazily recalls? There just might be more to all of this than it seems...

If you're a fan of the old Universal monster movies or just monsters in general, you should enjoy this.

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Ok, first off I'm a big fan of the concept, fighting these classic monsters. I'll be writing this review as I progress through the arc, so bear with me if thoughts get repeated occassionally.

Mission One:

Your opening paragraph seemed a little clunky. Perhaps some rewording is in order? Also, "he who watches over us." Minor thing, but any references to God, the pronoun should be capitalized.

Wolfie was an alright fight. Looking at his description, might I suggest going to an imdb entry or something of that nature for ideas on fleshing it out? Oh, and when I defeated him you have the Wolfman saying the narration. Bit of a hit on the immersion. Since you have that clue there, it's really not even necessary at all to have it, or you could edit your green text that gets displayed for completing the objective to say it. Either way, I'd say take off the narrative.

First mission was good. Map was appropriate as were the enemies. Dialogue was fine, and NPC costume was good.

Mission Two:

Coming into this one, it seems that each of the unique characters (having seen Igor and the Bride) could benefit from the same suggestion I gave for Wolfman's description. The Bride two-shotted me as a lvl 50 Blaster. Perhaps her difficulty is a tad high? Not too much to worry however. Once I knew what I was in for, she went down pretty hard.

The Mace for Igor was a nice idea, breaking up those Super Strength bosses for something a bit nicer. I also like how you used his dialogue to justify your choice of critters for the map. I was a bit shady on the use of Spirits for it, since Vahz were the obvious choice, but given those annoying level restrictions, I completely understand. Igor's dialogue could use the dialect I think, the whole lisp deal showing in the text. Unless of course that's not what you were going for with him. I was just surprised to read his stuff in plain speak.

Frankenstein was much easier than the Bride when I decided to lay down a Bonfire and stand in the middle of it. He just ended up bouncing away as I shot him in my safety patch. Dialogue for both the monsters was fine for me.

Frankenstein himself was a tad anti-climactic after those monsters, partially since he was a class lower than them. I understand the reasoning, I dunno. It just didn't sit properly with me. But, I realize he isn't the end boss either.

Your choice of map seemed almost too high-tech, though I appreciated using the destroyed one, for the Frankenstein legends. I hesitate to suggest using the Dr. Vahz map, but maybe you could toy with some others and see what works? As I mentioned earlier, though I wasn't sold on the Spirits at first, Igor's justification of them made me feel better about it. I'm noticing in these last two missions your mission title said to find a clue that is accomplished through the defeat of a boss. "Clue" to most will equate to "glowie" and honestly, all that stuff in your mission title just ends up looking cluttered. I suggest changing titles to something more like, "Best the Wolfman" and "Capture Dr. Frankenstein" and then under it in the goals section have those "Defeat 2 monsters, Find Clue (or Defeat Igor in this case), Defeat Dr. Frankenstein, etc." On to the next mission!

Mission 3:

Ok, contact's opening text is short, sweet, and gives a nice feeling of suspense for the mission. Good one.

Gonna break away from my norm for a second and say that first off I'm a big fan of your map choice, partially because this is my favorite map of the cave styles and second because it fits very nicely considering the CoH stock. Only other I could really think of is maybe the Midnighter's Club map or something from the Patron arcs. Ah and the critters! Very nice. I was honestly expecting Council Vampyr, so this is a pleasant surprise.

Now, your clue ended up immediately next to Talbot. Was that intentional or did I just luck out? If it wasn't intentional, try setting the clue to always spawn in the middle or back, and keep Talbot up front. Should clear that up a bit. Also, does he really have to be led back out? Perhaps he should only be set as needing to be rescued, and will continue on to fight with you (assuming he does fight at all in human form.) Otherwise his appearance there doesn't seem to have a whole lot of purpose or any real justification. He could easily have just gone to Van Helsing, rather than risk capture. Now you COULD justify it in Helsing's mission text, informing the character that Talbot was captured by Dracula for an unknown reason and will need to be rescued. Then you're golden.

Fighting Dracula went as expected, he downed me one, I used Rise and finished it. Again, dialect could be expressed in his dialogue, unless you don't feel comfortabe with it or it comes out clunky to you. I'd rather feel something's missing than hate what's there.

Were those the Halloween vamps or your own (I missed the event due to a hiatus this year)? If they're yours, well-done. Nicly balaced, good fights. One Bride by happy coincidence was very nicely placed from a dramatic point of view.

Mission 4:

Ehhhh, ok, here's where you lose me. And not even because of the twist! It was pretty unexpected and I have no issues at all with the "The contact is the villain" bit. But what DID kill things for me was the challenge. Realistically, I'd pummel him right then and there. Why agree to go to his lair and fight through hordes of wolves and bosses to get to his face again and THEN pummel him? Look for some justification for me to have to go take him in his lair. Maybe rework that text to engineer a trap, but don't issue a challenge while I'm standing right next to him if it can be easily resolved right then and there. On to the mission itself.

Ok, the map is fine I suppose, not sold on it. But the critters, didn't the contact say I would fight the wolves? Not that I'm complaining, these Vamps are easily my favorite of your mob choices, just pointing out an inconsitency. Ooh... Maybe for the mob that accompanies each boss, you can set them to be guarded by the mob type that was in their mission? Just a thought. Moving on...

Is it necessary to make a new boss with the name "Remade" at the end? Just using the previous model should do. Your current system just seems a waste of space. Also, I notice none of the monsters have any text. Seems strange to me. Maybe they could use just a message for when I first see/hit them and possibly when defeated? Just another thought.

Ok, first impressions for Van Helsing. WAY too tough. Is that Energy/Regen or WP? Yikes. And he uses it well at that. Combined with his Elite Boss (Meaning AV in teams, o.o) he's not soloable without pulling out all the stops. And I realize that may have been your intention, but it really hurts the enjoyable groove I had going, now that I knew how to fight the first three monsters and got revenge for my thrashings earlier. That and the powerset choices seem odd to me, not very "Van Helsing" but of course this IS his grandson (and a Midnighter at that O.o) so cest la vie. I'mma try this fight again using just Accolade buffs and if that fails, I'll pull the Shivan. If I need the Shivan, he's definitely over the top in some area (Make him an EB/Boss, less devastating powersets, limit the amount of powers he has). Ok, Accolades did the trick. So maybe a less Squishy AT could solo him, but speaking for those of us who don't have +Def and +Res powers, he's a tad difficult to take alone.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, the arc was enjoyable. I purposely got picky in this review because you could have a winner on your hands with a few things tidied up. In hindsight, maybe writing in dialects would make things too camp, so feel free to ignore that suggestion (and any others really, it's your arc). The idea alone had good merit, the twist was nice even if the execution wasn't exactly how I'd prefer, and in the end boss fights were enjoyable, if only cause I finally figured a good strategy for the buggers. On that note, the same strategy worked for all of them. This may not be a failing of yours and rather that of the game, but all I had to do was toss down a Bonfire, hit BU and Aim and just shoot the hell out of them before they could get up. Alexander being the over-the-top exception (Because I had to add Accolades to the mix. Everything else was the same but for a longer period of time). Perhaps boss Powersets could be varied more between Melee and Ranged and the strategy they use?

In the end, I gave it a 4, despite any seeming harshness in my review. I did enjoy the arc, and like I said, those minor things mentioned above are all that really prevent it from being a real hit with some proper exposure.

Best of luck to you!

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This is NOT the "Live: Announce You Latest Creation!"

This is actually, the Mission Arc Critiquing Thread. In this thread, it is customary to post a review of an Arc before submitting your own Arc for review. I know this rule is not hard to follow, but people are just dropping them off like children at a daycare.

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My bad. I honestly should have assumed that. Sorry. I'll get on that. >.>;;

I hope I'm not intruding in this, but if anyone would like to try their hand at my arc:

Arc Name: Bringing A Lord to Power
Arc ID: 2782
Length: Very Long
Mission Count: 5
Morality: Villainous
Description: Blightlord has a new scheme. Whatever it is, the payoff's sure to be worth your while.

Extreme criticism welcome. ^_^

"I'd be cool with it," said Torcher. Honestly at this point, petty as it may sound, his care for his boss had dipped somewhat in his time in the hospital. Maybe it was the show of weakness, the infirmity, or the constant attention he was receiving from Torcher's girlfriend, but sympathy had taken a hit.

Pyra nodded, nibbling her bottom lip as she got lost in thought and worry. Carefully, she moved over to Brawler's bedside, placing a hand on his shoulder as she waited for Griffin to begin.

Arc Name: Bringing A Lord to Power
Arc ID: 2782
Length: Very Long
Mission Count: 5
Morality: Villainous
Description: Blightlord has a new scheme. Whatever it is, the payoff's sure to be worth your while.

((*Scratches head* Oops, I thought that's where Griffin went, haha. Yeah, wherever he went, they followed. *is tired* @_@))

Pyra looked at Torcher. His best response was a simple shrug before following Griffin inside. The overgrown bird had promised some way of helping, and they would stick with him until it was proven he was useless.

Though Pyra certainly wouldn't be happy with the delays, even for the Sovereign. They entered the detention block, ready for whatever might be ahead of them.

A note: Tonight I revisisted Bring A Lord to Power and re-examined the difficulties of some of the custom bosses. You'll now find the last two missions much more manageable as some Archvillains were brought down to an Elite Boss level.

Enjoy.

'Show or Tell,' very nice. Glad you're not shying away from Domi's involvement with Tyrant, liking the play between her and Statesman (er, play may not be the right word... interaction. )

Keep going

Arc Name: Bringing A Lord to Power
Author: @Burnin Brawler
Publish Number: 2782
Description: Blighlord has something big planned and the pay-off is sure to match. Are you in?
Length: Very Long

Arc Name: The Vahzilok Cure
Author: @Burning Brawler
Publish Number: 7173
Description: Dr. Vahzilok, madman or savior of the human race? Learn the truth behind the Vahzilok Wasting Disease.
Length: Very Long

Here we are!

Bringing A Lord to Power, Arc ID: 2782

The Vahzilok Cure, Arc ID: 7173

Torcher started to follow Teivos and the others when he noticed Pyra sighing and turning back toward the med-ward. He grabbed her arm, causing her to stare hard into his eyes at the sudden touch. "This is important," said Torcher.

"So is watching Brawler."

"He'll be fine in there, now let's go. What trouble's he gonna get into lying in a bed in this place, huh?" Their eyes locked for a few moments before her tension released and Torcher let her go. The two walked together, moving quickly to catch up with the others to go down the anti-grav lift.

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Burning awoke with a start. His body lurched as all his momentum attempted to bring him upward, but the metal restraints held him firmly in place.

'Remain calm... You have been changed by some rather unfortunate circumstances.'

Memories flooded back to him. The blast, the pain, his rampage against the Chinese forces, and his discovery of his changed, scarred, ruined appearance. Rage twisted his features, his teeth clenched so tight they began to grate.

'Ah, ah, ah. Behave like that and you'll never be free of this place.'

For just an instant the restraints clicked open, then locked shut once more before Burning could move himself free.

'They have power dampening technology, best not to waste your energy trying to melt them down. All you can do now is listen carefully.'

Burning's eyes narrowed. He didn't like this strange voice that he couldn't force from his mind. He really had no choice but to do as it requested.

'Your injuries are the result of the Overmagus's carelessness, his lack of thought toward the people. You are living proof of his negligence, and that angers you.'

The revulsion Burning had formerly felt toward the mention of the Overmagus, that abomination of life, it was true that it now was replaced by rage. But the lich was his superior, in rank and power. He shook his head weakly. If the Overmagus didn't care for the people who served the Sovereign under him, what could one man do?

'Exactly,' responded the voice. Burning grimaced, wishing he'd thought of the fact that if a voice was speaking inside his head, it was all too likely that it could also hear his thoughts. 'Alone, you would be destroyed. Alone you are powerless, weak to his might. But the Overmagus is not an invincible being.' Images flashed in Burning's mind like a flash of flame, images of the Overmagus lying on the ground, barely alive, for lack of a better term. 'You could recreate this, and finish it. You could do what dragons could not. But you will need my assistance. Will you accept what is your right?'

Trembling, Burning nodded and the restraints clicked open once more.

'To our business then...'

Torcher didn't look too bothered by his second mistake, same for when he learned the griffin's name. He wasn't really one to comment on originality, I mean sure, the name had an awesome double meaning but it kind of got lost when he started working with the VB.

The possibility of being able to help Burning made it through her watch to Pyra's ears. She turned and stood quickly. "Right behind you."

She followed, leaving a frustrated Torcher behind for just a moment before he sighed and joined them.

Left alone, the steady music Burning's breath created with the soft notes of the heart monitors, the undertones of machinery, was free to echo through the room. The sound would lull a listener if they weren't so occupied, and had a doubling effect to keep Burning in his calm, recuperative sleep.

Until a new sound entered that song, one sour note fouling the melody.

'It's time to get up...'

"Oh," said Torcher, caught a little off guard. Yikes... "Sorry. I just don't see that many uh... mutants? These days."

At Griffon's bristling and the ruffle of feathers, Pyra slowly turned. She glanced at him for a moment, muttered, "Morning," then turned back to her vigil.

Of course, for all she knew it could be six o' clock in the evening. The room wasn't exactly naturally lit.

Torcher looked up in surprise at the sound of someone trying to get his attention. "Huh? Me, nah, I'm fine. I wasn't the one who nearly got vaporized or nothin'." He glanced at Pyra for a moment, to see if his tone would break her constant stare. It didn't.

"How 'bout you? Looks like you got hit with the ugly side of a bad transforming curse, huh? Don't worry, these docs can fix anything." He looked down at Burning, a conflict of emotions rendering his face neutral. "Well, almost anything."

Torcher glanced toward Griffen, face grim but by a pure and primal habit, he couldn't help himself from doing the customary head lift as a sign of 'hello.' He stared at the somewhat strange creature for a moment before turning back to Pyra.

Who was still intent on Burning.

Torcher sighed. Apparently to get attention around here, one had to come within an inch of death and be permanently disfigured.

Pyra sat next to Burning's bed, concern in her eyes. Torcher watched from a wall across the room, concerned for his boss but at the same time jealous of all the attention he was receiving. He was just about to sigh loudly for a little attention of his own when the heart monitor beeped a little differently.

Pyra's eyes literally lit up for a moment as she stood. "I think he's waking up! Quick, call the nurse."

Torcher nodded, teleporting to the nurse's station. Pyra watched in anticipation, gasping when Burning's eyes snapped open, revealing the red orbs of power that gave him sight. He immediately shot up, hands aflame, muscles tensed as if the fight was still on.

He looked around, confused and disoriented by the strange surroundings. It then hit him he must have been hurt badly during the fight. "How long was I out?" he muttered.

"A day or two? Listen, boss, there's something you should know before you-" But Burning was already looking down at his arms, a puzzled expression on his face. He turned back to look at Pyra, and could see a hint of his reflection is in her eyes. His mouth parted slightly, and he quickly began racing about the room, almost tearing it apart.

"Boss, calm down! Just wait a second I-" He rushed past her, diving under the bed and nearly knocking Pyra off her feet. "What are you-"

He came up then with a bedpan in hand. Slowly he rose it to eye level and stared long and hard at the charred skin of the man who looked back. He brought a hand up slowly, touching and feeling where his face has been disfigured, and the hand slowly clenched tight.

His cry was something so loud, so primal that it forced Pyra back into her chair. The nurse rushed in then, followed by a pair of orderlies and Torcher. The two large men rushed to brace him as the nurse moved forward with a sedative, the needle in one hand, the other out in a placating gesture.

Burning kicked, and his arms lit with searing flames when the men made a grab for him. They backed off, then came back again as their skin became covered with stone. The added weight as they nearly tackled him forced the hysterical Brawler back onto his bed. The nurse moved quickly, jabbing the needle precisely and releasing its calming contents.

Burning's frantic thrashes grew weaker and weaker until finally, he slept.

I loved it. The idea of each of the Praetorians getting "turns" on States, his reaction to Domi. This is coming along great.

Arc Name: Bringing A Lord to Power
Arc ID: 11551
Faction: Villainous
Creator Global/Forum Name: @Burning Brawler
Difficulty Level: Hard (But soloable)
Synopsis: Blightlord has a new plan, and you know his schemes are always big. Time to get in on the action and ride the wave to a big reward!
Estimated Time to Play: ~45 min
Link to More Details or Feedback: My forum name there or @Burning Brawler

May I please direct you all to my arc, "Bringing A Lord to Power"- Arc ID 11551. Give it a try.

Great start. Glad you decided to write this.

Haha, you just beat me to making this thread. Soon as the servers back up, I'll finish my arc.