Ashcraft

How's they find my Tree????? Great, I'm gonna have to move now.

I hear she lost the Haru Karu Rulaaru, which is a deck of cards from the Shadow Shard.

If you play solitaire with the cards and lose, you die and it opens up a portal to the shadow shard.

Hello and Welcome to C! True Paragon Stories!

Today we tell the story of:

Horusaurususus!

In the Beginning...

...was the Horus. The Horus was mighty and strong, full of god-like powers that could shape the world around him. Being so full with the Awesome power of Awesome, Horus dipped his tiny little claws into the pure power of life itself and brought forth upon our world... the Scrapper. Horus looked upon the Scrapper and saw that it was full of win. Then he watched as the scrapper proceeded to kill everything within a twenty mile radius of his house. Horus also looked upon this as a good thing.

Time Passes...

...and the mighty Horus was displeased, for his Scrapper had been joined by other Archetypes who insisted that The Great Creation was not just for Scrappers, but also for Defenders, Tankers and other false players. The short, scrawny arms of the mighty Horus once more altered the world around him, touching upon a solitary Scrapper standing at Wentworths and granting him the power and the title of Disciple of Horus.

The Disciple Rises...

...and he did destroy his enemies... and their parents, and grandparents, and grandparent's pets. Such was the power of the Disciple that all other players began to doubt their own archetypes, many abandoned their energy blasters and fortitudes to take up claws, spines and katanas. Not all were swayed by the magnificent displays of the Disciple. Some looked upon with envy and soon gave way to hatred.

The Tanker's Cried...

...out in pain at the injustice the Disciple represented. They rallied others to their cause with shouts of 'Shields for Tankers too!' and "Dmg buff plz." All was for naught as the Tanker's received their wish and still found themselves lacking. The Horus took pity on them and gave unto them pieces of scrapperdom itself, the mighty Procs. The Tankers took the Procs and gave a 20% chance of thanks to the Horus.

Horus Waits...

...for all to realize the truth of the Scrapper and to embrace the Scrapperlock that lay within all of his children. He looks down upon the world in the rare hope that his Disciple will slay every living creature upon it. For the Horus knows that True Scrapperlock is never over.

This has been your host, Pumpernickel Van Ashcraft for C! True Paragon Stories! Tune in next week as we unravel the past of another Hero or Villain!

So, so true.

I really like this one. Good job.

Hello and Welcome to C! True Paragon Stories!

Today we tell the story of:

Gender Poison!

Origins

When Gender Bender and Pants of Poison first met, it was not on friendly terms. Pants of Poison had been trying, unsuccessfully, to steal a purse from a 98 year-old grandmother when Gender Bender Pirouetted in to save the day! They continued to meet in the usual places, banks, nuclear reactors, other dimensions. It wasn't long before Poison had risen into the position of Gender Bender's arch-nemesis, and subsequently they fell in love. Several months and a few fights later, Gender Poison was born!

Growing Up

Gender Poison had a happy and stable home life, filled with half-finished Death Rays and sentient houseplants. She attended the prestigious 'Doctor Proto's Assimilation Center.' for three months before it burned to the ground under mysterious circumstances. She moved on to bigger and better things, eventually landing in the 'Kings Row School for the Very, Very Special' where she graduated top of her class.

Troubles in Paradise

"She started off so evil." Her mother told us, "Then she hit that age where kids have to rebel, she started saving hostages instead of mugging them for pocket change. I was hoping it was just a phase but I think she started to like it."

Gender Poison was indeed growing up. She left her life of crime and villainy behind and joined the ranks of superheroes in Paragon City, with some timely support from her father.

"I hadn't seen her in years. Not since the Rikti War." Gender Bender confessed, "Then she just showed up on my doorstep with a costume and a certificate of hero registration."

Thanks to the help of her father and other heroes, Gender Poison rose to prominence among the heroic elite.

Where is She Now?

Gender Poison still roams the streets but not as much as she used to. She has a new generation of supers to teach. Giving them all the tools necessary to save the world... or destroy it.

This has been your host, Pumpernickel Van Ashcraft for C! True Paragon Stories! Tune in next week as we unravel the past of another Hero or Villain!

Nah, he makes every family own a personal shrine with a golden statue of himself. They must shower it with candy and flowers everyday and personally shine his mask or the PPD will find them guilty of not supporting the all-benevolent tyrant.

(All hail Tyrant!)

*Shines his statue*

I must be getting old. I have no recollection of a Ravenstorm.

This is awesome. You win.