ArrowRose

Finding the bombs at times annoyed me, but I thought it was because I am very bad at finding glowies. I chose small bombs because I felt they were less obtrusive and thus better for the party atmosphere in the first part of the mission. However, given your comment and my annoyance, I changed them to large bombs.

I think I will change Mr. Goodman and Mr. Richman, but I need some time to decide on what new names I want to use that will retain the metaphor but be less obvious.

This, as mentioned in my previous posts, is because your character was already somewhat brainwashed. You the actual player of course are not brainwashed, so it is natural that you are suspicious. I am not sure what you mean by your last sentence quoted above.

I also have a question for you regarding an in game pm you gave me. You suggested that the kidnap mission would be better if either I ended it after Nikki was released or added ambushes. There is an ambush after she is released, but only one. Is there a way to add ambushes after her release that will be staggered in time or by floor? Can multiple ambushes be triggered by the release? If so, I don't see how. Do I chain each ambush on the previous? Would it be better to just end after she is released? I personally don't care for leading people to the door, but is that required storywise for a kidnapping?

Thanks again, not just for this review, but for all you do for the MA community!

Thanks, this is hugely helpful to know. Even if I decide against changing the order here, it would be a great help in test if I wanted to try changes to a specific mission.

I added the following to the intro to mission 1. I am not sure if this was there when you played:

"It all started when you ran into your old mentor, Captain Courageous. After the obligatory hellos, your discussion turned to your growing sense of frustration with the number of needy people out there that weren't getting any help. He suggested you talk to his friend, Dr. Allura. After months of meeting with her, you find yourself here."

The following was added the the end of the mission 1 send off dialog:

"A part of you wonders why you are doing this, but after your talks with Dr. Allura you have gained a new perspective on things and feel the need to take action."


I know. I learned this from my first arc when people got so upset with a bit of intended humor that implied that his or her hero was greedy.

Thanks again for your input and support. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you.

Thanks so much for playing and your comments. The clue as to who wrote the notes comes in the last mission with the writing on the back of Angela's card.

I will think about all the input I am getting and most likely make some changes over time. Is there any easy way to switch the order of the missions if I decide to do that? For some reason to me robbing the bank was the least of the offenses morally speaking. Kidnapping is more serious as you are invovling a child who could be hurt in the process.

Also part of my intent was to not give your hero too much justification for his or her actions as missions 1-3 are a test to see just how brainwashed you are.

I know people hate to have their heroes hi-jacked, which is why I was so upset initially at getting no official feedback. I feel that by its very nature, this arc starts out with a huge strike against it. I wrote it, hoping for official feedback, and as a challenge to myself to step out of my comfort zone. I have read a lot, and when I read books written in the first person, I don't feel that the actions of the narrator are in any way a reflection on me. I know this is a bit different, as you are play your hero and so are more immersed, but I ask that people take it in that same way if that is possible.

Thanks to all of you who played and gave me comments on this arc and my Liberty arc. I have learned so much from you all.

I wish all of you a Happy Holidays and a great New Year!

I will think about this. My concept here is that you are to some degree brainwashed and missions 1 to 3 are tests to see what you will do without lots of justification. If you are willing to do these things just because Angela asks and without lots of justification, then you are ready for induction into the group. The reason for your willingness to do these acts without much justification is hinted at by this: " A part of you wonders why you are doing this, but after your talks with Dr. Allura you have gained a new perspective on things and feel the need to take action."

Yes your character did get more enthusiastic for each mission until mission 4 and I did this by intent. This was to show that you were getting sucked in deeper and deeper. The reluctance on your part to accept the last mission was intentional as well. This is because you sense a difference in Angela: "Angela looks a bit distracted but smiles when she sees you." Sensing this difference sets off a warning signal and something in the back of your mind makes you hesitate in taking the final step in joining this group.

It is not intentionally a child story vibe, but I think I see what you mean. The names were chosen to have meaning and perhaps that is what you mean. As Angela Goodheart (Angelic with a good heart). Mr. Richman is rich. Mr. Goodman is good. OK maybe not.

I did intentionally choose to place the zombie dance with drums at the front because of the atmosphere it set. I was however not experimenting with animations but rather trying to create a party atmosphere. There is unaware dialog for all to create a bit of humor/atmosphere but it doesn't show. The idea was these brainwashed heroes are enjoying a party and even at the end when all hell breaks loose they continue beating drums, eating and drinking tea. As pointed out earlier unfortunately at times some join in the fight. I would love other opinions on this as to whether it would be better to have them all playing zombie drums.

This is a very good point. I wanted to be sure the arc was not too hard. I made the mistake in my Liberty Arc of initially including some very hated powers and when people find the play frustrating it hurts the enjoyment of the arc. I will test him as a mentalist and see how hard that is, but per the story you are 100% right that he should have mind control powers. Edit: I tested this and made the change as it seems to be OK.

Thanks again.

I have only 8 more characters left in the intro text so I am not sure there is much I can do here to make it clearer. If you or anyone has any specific minor wording changes that would help, that would be great. The idea here is that you ran into your old mentor and he referred you to a friend of his, Dr. Allura. You met with her for several months and she sent you to meet Angela. The implication was that the Dr. had been brainwashing you. Your desire to help the poor made you a subject. After subjects are identified and "treated" by Dr. Allura, they come to Angela to be tested on mildy evil tasks before they are allowed to officially join The Greater Good.

I need to think on where to put more info on him that would best suit the arc. Again opinions are welcome. My concept for this arc was firstly that there be a double meaning as to how it fit the challenge. In the first 3 missions, you are literally doing evil for "The Greater Good" and in the last mission you actually do evil for the greater good. Along with this concept, I intentionally chose names that were generic and symbolic. The names include Angela Goodheart, Mr. Richman, and Mr. Goodman. Sorry I digressed. The idea behind Mr. Richman is that he is just a generic rich man. He may have ties to family but he does nothing particulary wrong. His sin is that he is rich and this makes him a target for the Greater Good. The fact that you would act against him without specific reasons is a test to see how much you are willing to do and how deeply controlled you are.

In a way he was intended to be a cardboard cut out bad guy, but I think you are right here. My first arc had this same flaw. I need some time to think about what more I want to say about him and where it is best placed. His bio which is currently cryptic by intent.
My concept here is that he is greedy and quite the opposite of the good man he appears to be. He brainwashes heroes to serve his needs and make himself rich.

The contact is not fully controlled and never was. While writing the arc, I read a lot about brainwashing and a process which involves taking away your identity, breaking you down and then building you back up to act in a new way (the way the controller desires). The study by Robert Jay Lifton that is mentioned in the Project Robin Hood file specifically caught my interest. Angela is fighting the control and when she meets you she sees a way out. She is definately the writer of the notes. There may be a cure, but at the time of mission 4, neither you or she believe that there is. In my souvenir I state that you believed at the time there was no other option then the action you chose to take.

The last mission is in an office where a party is being held in your honor. You pose a very interesting point here. While I was at work yesterday I was thinking that I should add names to the target list Statesman, Ms. Liberty etc. Now I am unsure. The point you raise here makes me think. I would specifically like opinions from you and anyone else who plays on whether making the targets COH heroes or evil competitors would make the arc stronger. I am leaning towards the heroes at the moment.

This is a mechanics issue. To give the flavor of a party, I placed various Greater Good members in the mission using the release captive objective. So that the surrounding group of party goers does not attack you as you innocently walk through the party, I made them allies. I even gave them unaware dialog to help add a party flavor, but this seems to be a bug because they say nothing unless attacked. After you meet Mr. Goodman and start committing your true evil deed, you are attacked by ambushes. This is by intent. Unfortunately, if these ambushes occur near the party goers, they will be attacked and will fight back. I would prefer that this not happen, but for the sake of the story one could argue that these heroes are less controlled and when they see you being attacked something in their heroic nature causes them to jump to your defense.


Thanks again so much for playing and for your input.

This is a great idea. I had assumed that all arcs played would be rated and the increase in play count would tell us that our arc had been played, but the more I thought about this, the more I realized that this would make Dr. Aeon's job even harder. I often have a hard time deciding whether to rate an arc 4 or 5 stars, so asking him to decide on each arc he plays would take up more time.

A general "I played your entry" would be great. Then we could look at the feedback he writes when he announces the winner and apply it to our own arcs as appropriate.

Congrats! In my sadness at getting no feedback I left that out - sorry.

If you really plan to play any other entries, I would love if you would play mine. See if you can guess which arc from my signature was my entry

I am not sure that this arc meets the criteria for the contest, but I absolutely loved it. It is one of my overall favorite arcs and I definately think it should be a dev's choice.

Now to answer your questions:

1) I think there is plenty of combat.

2) I think the difficulty of the final mission is fine, if it had more time.

3) For me the final mission did not have enough time if a player chooses the optional objectives. I played this arc 3 times today just so I could make the choice that I wanted. The first time I played, I wasted time because I thought I had to destroy the spikes and by the time I had compeleted the optional objectives, I did not have time to complete the final objective. The second time I played, my mistake caused me to not complete as I chose. On time 3, I used my best level 50 and I completed it with 8 minutes to spare. I strongly feel you need more than 15 minutes or much clearer directions as to what needs to be done.

4) Yes I think an argument could be made for either choice.

5) I chose the option that involved completing the optional objectives because I am an optimist deep down and I almost never give up on people.

I have created a new version of the arc that I originally posted in your thread. My original contact was Ms. Liberty who I chose for obvious reasons. However some reviewers were bothered by the fact that they felt my portrayal of her was not true to cannon. So, I created a new version of my arc with a very different contact and tweaked it based on some suggestions made by various board reviewers.

That is my long way of saying, I would love it if you would play the new version of my arc instead. The new ID is 344916.

Thanks so much